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Russell tentatively stepped back into Greg's room and immediately Greg knew something was wrong.
"Is Alex okay?" he asked worriedly as Russell came over to him, taking his previous seat next to his bed.
Russell looked him in the eye as he spoke, "The nurse said the surgery went well but... as they were finishing off he crashed on the table. They couldn't get him back, Greg. I'm so sorry."
Greg shook his head in disbelief and frowned. "So he died?" He asked, not comprehending what Russell had just told him. How could he be dead? The surgery was meant to fix him, not kill him.
Russell went to grab his hand, "I'm so sorry Greg."
Quickly, Greg pulled his hand away before Russell could touch him.
"I don't get it. I spoke to him this morning, he was fine. He didn't want surgery and I talked him into it" Greg said, shaking his head. "He's dead because of me."
Russell shook his head and interjected. "Stop that. This has nothing to do with you-"
"Yes it does!" Greg snapped. "He should never have had this surgery."
"And what was the alternative? carrying on with chemotherapy that wasn't working?" Russell asked him. "This was his only chance Greg, you know that."
"But..." Greg shook his head, "He should have been in recovery now" he said in a quiet, lost voice. "I can't believe he didn't make it" he said before leaning back into his pillows and wiping an exhausted hand over his face.
Russell again went in with his own hand and rested it gently on Greg's shoulder.
"I'm so sorry, Greg."
Morgan and Sara sat with him in silence. Russell had informed them all of Alex and told them Greg was not taking it well.
They had all told him that they were sorry, it wasn't his fault, but Greg wouldn't have any of it.
So now he lay staring blankly ahead. Not talking to anyone.
"Greg, you should try and eat something" Sara said to him. When she got no response, she spoke again, "Come on, you need as much energy as you can get before Wednesday."
Greg looked to her and gave her a hard stare, "I'm not having surgery."
Sara and Morgan shared a look.
"Greg, you need to" Morgan said to him.
But Greg was already shaking his head, "Are you kidding me?"
"Greg, what happened to Alex was... unfair. But that doesn't mean the same thing is going to happen to you." Morgan said to him softly.
"You know you need this Greg" Sara added.
"Yeah and so did Alex. Look what good it did him." Greg replied, not looking at them.
Sara gently put her hand under his chin and tilted it towards them. "Greg you know what the alternative is if you don't have this surgery."
Greg blinked as tears pooled in his eyes and shook his head softly.
Sara sighed, "If you don't want to do it for yourself or us, do it for Alex."
Greg had slowly perked up more as the days went on. He was still quiet but had accepted that he needed the surgery and was willing to have it. The others tried to bring him things to occupy his time, put on the tv and filled the silences with small talk, all to try and take his mind off of it.
Before they all knew it the day had come. Nick and Sara were sat with him as the nurses prepped him to go up to surgery.
"How are you feeling?" Nick asked, squeezing his forearm gently in a friendly manner.
Greg swallowed and nodded his head along the pillows. "Okay I think."
Sara smiled, "You're going to be fine. I know it."
Greg offered her a small smile but turned away from them both.
A gentle knock on the door turned all of their attention to the person that stood there, "Okay Greg, they're ready for you."
He took a deep breath and nodded and briefly turned to Nick and Sara.
They both gave him a smile and patted his arm and hand.
"We'll be right here when you wake up."
Several hours later, Nick, Sara, Catherine and Russell were all waiting. Catherine and Russell finished their shift a few hours ago and joined Nick and Sara in the anxious wait to see if Greg was going to be okay.
They knew the doctors were good, but they couldn't help that little piece of doubt that wormed into their minds.
Soon, a man they recognised as Greg's surgeon walked towards them.
"Greg Sanders?" he asked as he got close enough.
"Yes, how is he?" Russell asked.
"He did well during the surgery. We managed to get all of the tumour" he told them, to which they sighed in relief.
"We didn't have to ventilate him which is also good, we've taken him to the HDU for recovery and expect him to wake soon." He told them with a smile.
"Thank you so much" Catherine said to him, the others muttering similar thanks.
"You're welcome to sit with him."
They all stood and followed him, trying their best to listen to him but overwhelmed with happiness and relief.
Once they arrived at the HDU, they saw Greg nearest the door.
He looked reasonably okay to say he had just had major surgery. Although slightly pale and with what seemed like hundreds of tubes poking out of him, draining wounds, giving and collecting fluids, his chest was rising and falling at a somewhat normal pace. And for that they were all thankful.
Just an hour and a half after sitting down, they noticed Greg's eyes starting to flicker open.
Slowly coming to, he glanced around with his eyes and landed on the four of his colleagues and friends sat smiling at him.
"Welcome back man" Nick said as he clapped his shoulder gently.
"It's so good to see you" Sara said to him, Russell agreeing.
Catherine held his hand as she spoke, "They got it all. They got all of the tumour out."
Greg tried to smile back but coughed slightly before trying to speak.
"My face hurts" he told them with a small grunt.
Russell stood, already going to ask a nurse for more painkillers. There was no wonder why his face hurt. Along the edge of his face, the side of the surgery, he had a nasty blue bruise forming which stemmed from the surgery site.
"Don't worry, they're going to come give you some more painkillers." Russell told him.
"Thank you" Greg said to him, his eye lids drooping.
Nick looked at his friend and smiled softly, "Dude get some rest. We're glad you're okay."
Greg gave them one last smile and closed his eyes.
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