Thank you! Enjoy!
Chapter 9
Even though it was technically not a date, Anna was still slightly anxious about her and John's day out with the girls. They already really liked John. He was at their house all the time and he gave them the attention their father never did. Gracie was nearly always attached to him when he was upstairs with them. She asked to be held or sat on his lap. Anna told John he didn't have to give into all of Gracie's whims, but he said he didn't mind. She was a sweet little girl.
But Anna was hesitant about it all. She liked John, a lot. He was so unlike her ex-husband who had gaslighted her and never seemed to care about her wants and needs. It had always been about what he needed and what he was going to do. When Anna began to grow her business, Jake always tried to undermine her, saying that he should be the one making the most money and that it would be nothing.
Finding out he basically had another life ended up being one of the best things to happen to Anna. She had been able to get out from under his crushing shadow that didn't allow her to be her best self. The bad part had been the effect on her girls, especially Arya, who loved him more than he ever deserved.
"Come on girls!" Anna called down the hallway. She could hear their feet and as she saw them round the corner, her lips curled up into a smile. No matter what, she could never regret her time with Jake, because without him she wouldn't have her girls. And they were her everything.
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"Up! Up!" Gracie demanded, as they walked toward the large park. There was a nice park near Downton Abbey. It had been put up by the Crawley family for the children in the area. Anna and John decided that a park would be best for them to come to. It allowed the children a space to play and where they could still talk.
"Gracie, let John just walk. You're here to play."
"Oh, alright," Gracie replied. Arya then took Gracie's hand and the two of them ran toward the large playground.
Even though it was a Monday afternoon, the park wasn't too crowded. Anna could easily spot her two children. She pointed to a bench nearby for her and John to sit.
"This is nice," Anna commented. John's hand came around to rest behind her on the bench.
"I quite agree," he told her with a smile.
"My girls love you," Anna then said to him.
"Good, I don't plan on going anywhere," he told Anna with a wink. Anna curled her lips up. "I've been thinking…"
"Oh you have, have you? What about, do tell?"
"Do you want to meet my mother?"
Anna sat back at that. She twisted her lips and glanced back over to check on her girls. Arya was pushing Gracie on one of the swings.
"Isn't it a little early for that?"
"I don't think so," John disagreed. "It doesn't mean this has to be anything more than it is right now, Anna. My mother is just my only other important person in my life."
"And I'm the other one?" Anna asked, blushing. John's lips curled up and he nodded.
"You are. You and the girls, of course."
Anna felt as John took her hand within his own. She took in a deep breath, before biting on the inside of her lip, knowing that this was as intimate as they could get with the children nearby. It was still important to Anna that they took it slowly.
"Daddy! Daddy!" Anna then heard, her ears perking up. She quickly turned her attention back over toward her girls and saw Jake standing beside them. Her heart quickened and she stood.
As she and John made their way over toward the girls, Anna saw that Jake was standing next to another woman and that he had a little girl in his arms. She internally seethed, but outwardly, she put a big smile on her face.
"Mum! Look! Daddy is here!" Arya brightly said. She then pointed to the woman. "This is Hannah! And these are her daughters: Maya and Jamie."
"Hi Anna," Jake then stated, before his eyes fell on John, giving him an unsavory look. "Your mother's nurse comes with you to the park?"
Anna quirked her lips, but avoided Jake's question. She turned to Hannah.
"Hello Hannah, nice to meet you," Anna said in her most fake, sugary voice. Hannah nodded and quietly said hello. Her oldest daughter, who looked about Gracie's age, asked to go over to the swing. So Hannah took her younger daughter from Jake's arms and then walked them both over to the swings.
"Daddy, are you here to play with us?" Arya excitedly asked her father.
"I can be," he told her. Arya jumped up and down and clapped her hands together.
"Will you help me climb the big structure?"
"In a minute," Jake uneasily said. Gracie had her eyes on Jake, but she turned toward her mother and then walked to John, asking to be lifted up.
Anna could tell that John was uncomfortable, but Gracie kept insisting and so he bent down and picked her up. This made him receive a sneer from Jake.
"Gracie, love, don't you want Daddy?"
Gracie just ducked her head into John's neck and hid her face from him.
"Leave her be," Anna warned. "Why don't you go and take Arya over to the big structure?"
Jake rocked on his heels, his eyes scanning back over to his newest girlfriend and her children. Then he gave Arya an apologetic look.
"Why don't I do it in a little bit? I promised Hannah and the girls that we would be playing for a while. But I'll come and take you before we leave, alright?"
Anna then saw red. She had to take a deep breath to keep her calm in front of her children.
"Of course," she bit. Turning her attention to Arya, she tried to push out a bright smile.
"Arya, sweetheart, why don't I go with you?"
"I want Daddy!" Arya cried, crossing her arms in front of her chest.
"I know, but your daddy is busy."
Arya grabbed Jake's hand, pleading for him to come with her. The action broke Anna's heart. Her eyes glared straight at Jake, daring him to hurt their daughter and live with what she would do to him if he did. But Jake didn't seem bothered. His eyes kept going back over to Hannah, who seemed annoyed that he wasn't over there. Jake unlatched Arya's fingers from his hand and gave her a small smile.
"Later," he promised.
"Jake!" Anna called after him, as he walked away, leaving Arya behind.
"Hey," John tried to soothe over, adjusting Gracie on his hip. "What if we walked over to the ice cream stand and got some ice cream?"
Gracie's head lifted up and she eagerly nodded, but Arya just remained stuck in her spot. Her eyes were wet with tears and were stuck on her father who was playing with another set of children. Anna could physically feel her heart breaking. She slowly bent down to her daughter's level and brushed her hair behind her ear.
"Hey," she murmured. "Let's go get some ice cream and then when we're done, I'm sure your daddy will be able to play with you."
"I don't want to play with him anymore," Arya grumbled. Anna inhaled and nodded.
"I'll play with you," she offered again. Arya just shook her head, a stray tear falling down her cheek. Anna looked up hopelessly toward John, who gave her a sympathetic smile.
"Can we just go home?" Arya then pleaded. Anna stood, taking Arya's hand with her own.
"Yes, but John promised Gracie ice cream. Would you like to grab some and then you can eat in in the car?"
"Oh, alright," Arya bemoaned. Anna handed Arya's hand to John.
"Do you mind?"
"Of course not. We'll meet you back at the car."
Anna watched as John took her girls over toward the ice cream stand. It wasn't too far, but it was far enough that she wouldn't be heard if she began to speak. So Anna took this chance to head back over to where Jake was playing with his new play family. She tapped him on his shoulder and he turned, surprised.
"Anna, I'm a little busy right now," he told her. Anna gave him a terse smile.
"I'll be just a minute." She motioned for him to follow her over to a quiet corner at the playground.
"Look, Anna, today is not my day with the girls. You can't be angry with me for…."
"I can't be angry!" Anna quietly, but angrily stated, as her hands balled into fists by her side. "Your daughter was begging with you to play with her! She barely sees you! You couldn't cut out ten minutes of your day for her?!"
"I was going to play with her in a little while. She has to understand that the world doesn't revolve around her," Jake tried to say in excuse for his behavior.
Anna chuckled in disbelief.
"That little girl adores you, Jake. She just wants you to want to spend time with her. In a few years, when she's figured you out and wants nothing to do with you, you can't blame me for that. I have tried so hard to make them important to you. But you don't care. They are your children and you don't care."
"Right," Jake said, rolling his eyes. "I love my girls. I see what this is. You want your new boyfriend, or whatever he is, to take over my roll and you're making me into the bad guy here."
"I haven't made you anything. You've made these choices. I can't make you be a good father, though I have tried."
Jake scoffed.
"Sure, blame me."
"You know what, Jake, eat glass! And I guess you'll see the girls in two weeks, if you show up."
Anna quickly turned and walked away, anger bubbling through her frame. She couldn't believe how little he cared about his daughters. Arya had been pleading with him to give her a little bit of his time. Tears began to blur Anna's vision and she had to pause to settle herself, before getting into the car with her girls. As usual, it was up for her to be the normality in her children's lives and to be strong for them.
When she made it to the car, she saw that John and the girls were all enjoying their ice cream while jamming out to the Peppa Pig soundtrack. Even Arya had a bright smile on her face as she sang along.
"Oh wow," Anna said, getting into the seat.
"Mummy! John let us have a big ice cream!" Gracie told her. She showed Anna the large cup that was overflowing with ice cream and treats.
"It's good," Arya added, taking a big bite.
"Here," John stated, handing Anna her own cup. It was her favorite: chocolate chip cookie dough.
"Thank you," Anna quietly replied, the words having a deep meaning. She was thankful for the ice cream, but also for John being a steadier force for her girls than their own father was. John seemed to understand and he winked in return.
"You're welcome."
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That night while Anna tucked Arya into her bed, Arya asked Anna a question that made Anna's heart break a little bit more.
"Why doesn't my daddy love me?" Anna felt a lump from in the base of her throat and she gently stroked the side of Arya's face.
"He does love you," Anna promised her. "But some people don't know how to show their love or how to be there for others like we wish they were." Arya's eyes were full of tears and Anna wanted to pull her into her arms and hold her close, shielding her from all the hurt in the world.
"He doesn't love me like you love me," Arya then said. "You are always here. He never is. Am I not good enough?"
"Arya, you are the best little girl in the world," Anna assured her.
"Next to Gracie," Arya added with a little chuckle.
"You both are the best," Anna stated, giving her daughter a smile. "I've been so blessed because you are both mine."
"Why doesn't Daddy feel like that?"
"I don't know, sweetheart," Anna honestly told her. "We can't make people be who we want them to be. We can only control ourselves. But I need you to know that it's not you, Arya. You are wonderful. You are kind. You are sweet and smart. Anyone who doesn't spend time with you is missing out on you."
"I love you," Arya then said, bending forward and wrapping her arms around Anna. Anna kissed the top of Arya's head and held her tightly.
"I love you so much, Arya. So, so very much. And I am not going anywhere."
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Once Anna closed the door to Arya's bedroom. She walked downstairs to find John cleaning up her kitchen. She smiled and came up behind him, wrapping her arms around his waist and resting her head against his arm.
"Sure," she whispered. John glanced down at her, smiling.
"Sure, what?"
"Let's go so I can meet your mum," Anna then said. John's smile grew, making his eyes sparkle.
"Really?"
"Yes, I'd like to meet the woman who made you such a wonderful man."
"Alright, she'd love that."
"Good. We can go this weekend. I'll make sure Baxter is available to watch the girls."
To be continued...