A/N: We're back. The transition in this chapter was a little challenging to get out. My goal eventually is to re-edit this entire thing, which is much longer than I ever anticipated. If anyone would be interested to beta read, please let me know.

CW: brief weed smoking

Chapter 8

Remus had been over Monday night until he had to leave for class Tuesday but then Sirius had abruptly stopped responding to him Wednesday afternoon. He ended up going out with some uni friends for the evening, since it seemed Sirius wasn't going to be available. It was a bit irritating as the band was going to be out of town for three days over the weekend and he'd been hoping to spend some time with Sirius before that. The end of the term was rapidly approaching and becoming busy, plus he knew from passive conversation that the album release and tours were looming over the summer. They hadn't even discussed what they were going to do over the summer. Maybe nothing, go their own ways. At this point, he was thinking he just shouldn't get his hopes up. These thoughts swirled around his head, on top of his annoyance at being ditched, and Remus drank maybe a touch more than he should have.

This left him with a throbbing headache Thursday, reluctantly making it through classes before he received texts from both Lily and James asking if everything was okay. Baffled and annoyed, yet managing to still be concerned, he tried texting Sirius and received no response again. It pissed him off enough to show up at the flat, letting himself in since Sirius didn't answer the door and he knew James and Lily were out for a date night. These boys were terrible at keeping the door locked. From the entryway he could already hear music flowing from Sirius' room and headed that way, the trippy sounds of the Arctic Monkeys doing nothing to help his irritation and apprehension. Sirius' music was an obvious reflection of his ever-shifting moods and this didn't predict anything good.

He pushed the door open, finding Sirius sprawled on his back on the floor amidst the usual mess, eyes closed, and arms thrown up over his head, t-shirt riding up. A joint and lighter sat in the ashtray next to him. Grey eyes cracked open when Remus pushed open the door, but Sirius didn't move, just lazily lifted a hand to point at him and sing along to the lyrics.

"Now it's three in the morning

And I'm trying to change your mind

Left you multiple missed calls

And to my message you reply

"Why'd you only call me when you're high?"

Remus rolled his eyes at the musician's dramatics, leaving the door open and crossing the room to push open the windows. "It's six o'clock at night and you've been ignoring me. Are you trying to hotbox in here, Sirius, what the fuck?" He chided, taking a seat on the edge of the bed.

Sirius abruptly sat up, turning toward him with a strikingly focused look. "Are you out?"

Remus blinked, thrown by the unexpected question. "What?"

"Out, are you out? Do people know you're gay?"

"I'm not gay," Remus answered automatically, baffled. Sirius stared while Remus gazed steadily back. As the silence dragged on, Remus leaned forward, plucking the joint out of the multicolored glass ashtray. He waved it in Sirius' vision, who just nodded absently and flopped back onto the floor. "Bisexuality is a thing, Sirius,"

"I know that," Sirius said slowly, tucking his right arm under his head and watching as Remus flicked on the lighter and took a drag. "I didn't know you're into women,"

"You never asked," Remus shrugged and slipped onto the floor, reaching out to brush his fingers over the wrist of Sirius' free arm. "I'm bi but like, more into guys. I don't go around announcing it, but I'd say it's not exactly a secret. People know. Why does this matter anyway?"

"Your family knows?" Sirius pressed.

"Well, not exactly," Remus hesitated a second. "We've never discussed it. It wasn't really something that came up when I lived at home,"

Sirius fell quiet again and Remus leaned his back against the bed, waiting him out. He took another hit on the joint and then passed it over when Sirius held his hand out. The musician sat up again after a minute, crossing his legs and turning to face Remus. He looked pensive and subdued much more than his normal hyperactive, twitchy self.

"We had this interview the other day, just some magazine," he started out slowly, pausing to take another draw. Remus nodded, reaching up to push his hair back out of his eyes, pulling off the beanie he'd jammed on over his messy hair when he'd left his apartment earlier. "About the new album and tours. They were asking about song inspirations, the usual stuff. But she pulled out this photo," Sirius shifted up to his knees and Remus took the joint back, feeling his nerves spike. Sirius was taking a while to get to the point, which couldn't be good. "It was just a photo of us, out at the park the other day. It didn't even really show you," Remus choked slightly on the smoke, shaking his head and looking back up at Sirius.

"What?" he managed to get out. "Someone took photos of us?"

Sirius shrugged slightly, chewing on his lip. "Well yeah, I mean, sometimes people take photos when I'm out. I hate it, but I wasn't really thinking when we were at the park. We were just hanging out," He was fidgeting now, chipping at his nails again. Remus set the joint down and reached out, taking his hands.

"Ok, what does that mean? We were just walking around. We didn't do anything. You just said it didn't even really show me,"

"Right," Sirius nodded, still looking anxious. "They just showed us one photo, it didn't show your face at all. But they might have more? I don't know. They'll probably publish them. There's not really anything we can do about it. And everyone just assumes, you know… But I said it was nothing. Just out with a friend. I didn't give your name, but James talked about Lily,"

It was Remus' turn to fall silent, slowly letting out a breath. Yeah, friends hanging out. "Okay," He said slowly. "Okay, well, nothing to do about it, right?"

"Right," Sirius answered quietly. "I should have warned you, though, that it might happen. We could have been more careful,"

Down the hall they could hear the front door open, James and Lily returning from wherever they'd gone out. The voices hushed as they approached and James knocked on the frame of the open door, sticking his head in. Remus pulled his hands back from Sirius' abruptly, pushing himself to his feet and turning toward the door. James looked between them before asking "Everything okay?"

"Fine," Remus answered shortly, watching as Sirius also rose.

James seemed unconvinced but just gave Sirius a long searching look, one of those times they seemed to have a conversation with no words, and then stepped back into the hall. "Keep the smoke in your room, please, Pads," He requested before shutting the door behind himself.

"Stay?" Sirius requested quietly after a moment of silence hung in the air. "We're out of town all weekend,"

"Maybe you should have thought of that before you shut me out. I've been trying to get a hold of you for two days," Remus answered, a little more bitter than he'd intended. He took a deep breath, turning back to Sirius. "Is this what your problem was? Not wanting to tell me about this?"

"Yeah," Sirius admitted, taking a step closer. "I was really angry about it and I didn't know how you'd take it," he trailed off. "It's my fault, I feel like I let you down that it happened at all,"

Remus shoved his hands in the pocket of his oversized hoodie, tawny hair falling over his eyes again. He'd been feeling much too crappy this morning to bother trying to dress even half decently and had gone for comfy jeans, an old t-shirt, and his favorite worn hoodie. It wasn't an impressive look, but he was grateful now for the ability to wrap himself in the comfortable jacket. "I just don't know how else to ask you to just talk to me," Remus said quietly. "Running from your problems isn't going to make them go away,"

"I know," Sirius insisted, taking another step closer and surprising Remus with how loud he suddenly was. "I just didn't want to see you upset,"

"Well now you're seeing me upset, so that didn't really work, did it?" Sirius cringed visibly and Remus looked away, wondering if that was unfair. He was feeling less upset than he had when he'd arrived, his irritation about why Sirius was avoiding him melting away. Maybe smoking when they were trying to have a serious conversation wasn't the best idea; it certainly made the whole situation seem like less of a big deal than it might have otherwise. Maybe Sirius wasn't the only one that needed a talking to about unhealthy coping mechanisms.

"Okay," He sighed softly, shifting forward and sliding his arms around Sirius' waist, leaning in as the fight went out of him. The other man's hands came up slowly, as if Sirius was afraid he'd be yelled at again, but then rested lightly on Remus' hips.

"Okay?" Sirius echoed, pressing a kiss lightly to the side of Remus' head.

Remus pulled back but slid his hand into Sirius'. "Okay. Want to watch a movie or something?" He asked. Sirius smiled softly, nodding and leading them out into the living room.

"You're not off the hook," Remus spoke as they settled onto the couch, adjusting limbs around to get comfortable. "There's just nothing we can do about the picture situation now and it's not your fault someone was following you around taking photos. You can decide how you handle it though,"

"I know," Sirius spoke softly, carding his fingers through Remus' hair as the other man leaned against his shoulder. "I'll talk to you next time,"

….

Remus didn't hear much from Sirius over the long weekend while they were touring but everything seemed fine and it wasn't unusual for him to zone out when involved with band things. They hung out when Sirius returned to London and during the week when Remus wasn't busy with studying. The article hadn't been released and everything seemed to go back to normal, or as normal as it could be with them. Sirius got his club night the next weekend, with Marlene, Frank and Alice, and some other school friends. Remus ended up dancing with Marlene, Dorcas, and Lily while Sirius and James made the rounds, greeting people they knew in the crowd. It wasn't a super fancy place, more low-key than Remus had expected, but seemed to be somewhere they were used to going. Sirius had dressed up in an outfit that was a bit flashy even for the musician, in a sparkly, essentially sheer sleeveless shirt and painted on black pants with his chunky boots and carefully applied eye make-up. It looked good. Lily had coaxed Remus into his most flattering outfit back at the flat before they joined the boys and their friends, but it wasn't quite up to that standard.

Remus let his gaze wander over to where Sirius was retrieving drinks and found him leaning on the bar, speaking close with Gideon and gesturing wildly as he did when he was passionate about something. It was only easy to tell the twins apart because Gid had a bit of a rugged scruff thing going on while Fabian was wearing a collared shirt and his red hair was longer, curling at the ends. Marlene had noticed Remus knock back his drink when the two arrived and leaned in to whisper tips about who was who. Gideon made a point to come up and say hi but otherwise they had been somewhat awkwardly orbiting each other. Fabian was busy dancing with a girl Remus didn't recognize and the pair had easily folded into their rapidly expanding circle. Remus dragged his gaze away from the involved conversation the two were having by the bar as Lily snagged his hands, pulling him into the middle of the circle and twirling them around. The others let up an encouraging cheer.

"Lils, you know I can't really dance," Remus couldn't help but laugh, spinning her in another circle.

"Just relax," Lily called back over the music, "You're doing great,"

The DJ was shifting to a new song and Remus was just getting into it when another hand slid around his hip. He turned abruptly, nearly crashing into Sirius' chest. The other man caught him around the waist, laughing. "Sorry to startle you," He spoke, leaning in to press a quick kiss to Remus. "You looked good there,"

Sirius was drunk, Remus could tell. He tasted like the expensive whiskey he preferred to drink and was just a bit unsteady and speaking louder than he normally would when they were pressed this close together. Remus shrugged, taking the cup Sirius held out and sipping it. Sirius retrieved another cup from Gideon, who was standing nearby but rather quickly faded into the crowd after he was divested of the extra drink. Remus watched him go, leaning into Sirius.

"Everything okay?" Sirius asked, drawing back slightly to look at him. "I didn't mean to pull you away from Lily,"

"Yeah, its fine," Remus took another long drink of the gin and tonic, idly tracing over the black inked runes at Sirius' collarbone, exposed by the open collar of his shirt. "How's Gideon?"

"Oh," Sirius seemed a bit surprised, glancing around to find that the other man had disappeared. "Yeah, all good. Just a band thing,"

Remus took the cup from his hand and turned around again, pressing his back to Sirius' chest. Sirius kissed side of his head, jaw, and neck as they moved to the music, his hands settled back on Remus' hips helping guide to the pulsing beat. It was more PDA than he would normally prefer but it was dark in the club, flashing lights occasionally illuminating the place, and they were surrounded by the group of their friends, who were paying them no particular attention. Remus blinked his eyes open several songs later as he heard a few shouts and felt Sirius shift away, retrieving his cup from where Remus still clutched onto it.

James and Frank were pulling at him and the DJ had the stage lights up, saying something muffled in the sound system over the music. "Okay, I'm coming," Sirius laughed, clutching the DJs hand and clambering unsteadily up onto the stage.

"Sirius Black of The Marauders," The DJ introduced to cheers before passing off the mic to Sirius, who tapped his lip for a second with a black painted fingernail.

He popped the microphone back into the holder and shifted in front of the keyboard the DJ had vacated. "Let's throw it way back tonight," he finally spoke, leaning in close with a soft smirk. "This is one of the first songs I ever wrote, back when I was still a public-school boy causing all kinds of havoc in those hallowed halls," He tapped out a few chords, beginning to sing in a low, gritty voice. It sounded raw and exposed in the club after the synthesized, processed music.

"I am drunk and on a ladder,
Not the smartest way to start my night
You said I'd conquer my vertigo
That was a lie, that was a lie, that was a lie"

Gideon let out a cheer nearby, holding up his beer bottle. Sirius picked up the DJ's nearly empty plastic water bottle, chucking it in his direction but nearly hitting James in the face in the process. Lily, Alice, and Frank had joined hands and were dancing to the poppy beat. It wasn't really a club type song at all but the crowd seemed into it, pressing closer to the stage.

"And when we got up to the roof
You opened a little flask of gin
Like idiots we both fell asleep there
Until the sun came up again"

Remus turned, making his way through the crowd to the bar. He leaned against the bar top, watching, while the bartender quickly mixed up another drink. Sirius was laughing on the stage, grey eyes sparkling, as he leaned into the mic.

"I do the dumbest things for you
Why do I do the dumbest things for you?
I almost broke my collar bone
I didn't care, you were the most exciting thing I'd ever known"

Remus watched Gideon weave his way through the crowd up to the front of the small stage. He looked thoroughly amused, clutching a beer bottle in one hand as he shouted something up to Sirius.

"We both went out to the party
Down a long, great western road
You told the drunks I knew karate
That was a lie, that was a lie, that was a lie

They chased us through the city center
They chased us out to the east end
We had to hide behind the supermarket
Until the sun came up again

And we just missed the last bus home
So we walked it fueled by adrenaline
And when I said I could do it all again
That was a lie, that was a lie, that was a lie"

The bartender handed over the drink and Remus moved toward the door to the back patio, casting another glance back at the stage. Sirius was gesturing down to the front of the stage with an exaggerated expression of confusion and frustration, smoky grey eyes still dancing with mirth as he wrapped up the song.

"I do the dumbest things for you
Why do I do the dumbest things for you?
I would be safer on my own
I didn't care, you were the most exciting thing I'd ever known."

Remus slipped out onto the nearly empty patio, the door clanging shut behind him. The air was smoky and cool; he wrapped an arm around himself, sipping his refreshed drink clutched in the other. He'd nearly polished off the drink when Sirius appeared again, tapping a cigarette out of a crumpled pack. He lit it and took a drag before stepping in, sliding an arm around Remus' waist again. Remus shivered, suddenly realizing how chilled he was in the night air and pressed closer.

"Did you have fun up there?" He asked, reaching out to set the empty cup on a nearby table littered with discarded beer bottles and glasses.

"Yeah, what'd you think?" Sirius asked. "It's fun to go back to those old songs sometime. We've come a long way since then, recording trash lyrics in the Potters' garage,"

Remus was quiet for long enough that Sirius ducked his head down, trying to catch his gaze. He groaned faintly, putting the cigarette back to his lips. "You're pissed off about Gideon again," He surmised.

"I'm not mad, I just don't understand your relationship," Remus finally admitted, taking a slight step back to put some space between them.

"Rem, that song is from years ago. I got out of the mess with Caradoc, I was dumb and confused and angry about everything, and Gideon was there," Sirius shrugged, reaching out with his free hand to tangle his fingers together with Remus, not letting him retreat too far away. "We had a lot of fun; he had his shit together at a time when I really didn't. We did some crazy things, but he was also just there and had some stability. We became good friends. We're still friends, we just don't also hook up anymore,"

"I know, you told me that, I believe you," Remus spoke softly, sliding his arms back around Sirius' waist and kissing him softly.

"You ready to get out of here?"

Remus nodded, suddenly grateful for the opportunity to escape. It'd ended up been more fun than he had anticipated to go out with everyone to the club but he'd exhausted all his social reserves now and was ready to just have some time with Sirius.

Lyrics:

Arctic Monkeys: Why'd You Only Call Me When You're High

Zoey Van Goey: You Told The Drunks I Knew Karate