Chapter Eleven

The Only Exception

Sakura's palms hovered above the small civilian boy's leg. The Hokage was in a council meeting with her war strategy advisors, and Sakura, for obvious reasons, was not permitted to attend. Rin had taken her to the village to heal a boy named Kai. He'd slipped in the snow and fallen down into a ravine trying to rescue one of his family's pigs that had suffered a similar fate, miraculously without injury. Kai had fractured his Tibia. Pain contorted the boy's features, but he bore it well. His fists were clenched tightly at his sides, his face pale as Sakura probed his leg. She'd healed plenty of small cuts and scrapes, but this was her first broken bone and the healing method was different.

"You're doing great, Kai," she reminded him with a small smile. Rin was mixing a medicated tea while the boy's parents stood in the doorway, watching. Kai's parents were farmers, but they had relatives in the Black Army and they were not so keen on letting a Kumoga clansman into their home to heal their son. It had taken some serious convincing on Rin's part to get them to agree to let her come in.

Sakura sent her energy into the boy's leg, letting it roam over his broken bone. She could almost see the fracture when she closed her eyes and feel the deep throbbing ache radiating in her own leg. Sakura let her energy tell her what she needed to do. She let herself become vulnerable to the boy's pain and probed deeper. Kai grunted between clenched teeth.

"Drink this," Rin told him, and held the cup to his lips while Sakura worked.

Sakura felt her energy drain as his bone began fusing back together. She could see it in her mind, pictured the bone mending as her energy supplied the invisible sutures. Minutes passed before her work was done, and sweat collected on her brow. She swiped it with the back of her hand, gazing at the boy with a tired smile. "How do you feel?"

"It doesn't hurt as badly," he told her. "Thank you."

"Bones are complicated to heal," Rin said, looking at Kai. "You need to take it easy for the next couple of weeks. You'll still feel a little pain. No more chasing after farm animals without help, okay?" Rin grinned and mussed the boy's dark curls.

"Okay." He grinned at her.

"Rest easy, Kai." Rin rose from the edge of his mattress and greeted his parents at the door. "I left some packets of medicated tea on the night table. He can have one before bed if he's having trouble sleeping. Sakura was able to mend the fracture, but his body still needs time to recover and regenerate."

His mother nodded, wringing her hands together at her chest. "Thank you," she said. "The both of you."

Kai's father set his jaw and turned from the doorway without a word.

Sakura and Rin donned their winter cloaks and gloves at the door and then excused themselves from the small farmhouse. Frost and Rin's chestnut mare were waiting for them at the tie out post (though neither horse needed tethered.)

"Tsunade would be proud of you Sakura. Healing bones is not an easy feat in the beginning. Eventually you'll learn how to do it without giving so much of your own energy away."

Sakura pressed her lips into a line. She was not seeking the Hokage's approval, but she knew Rin meant well by her comment. Rin obviously looked up to the Hokage. Tsunade had not treated Sakura poorly, but nothing would make her forget that she was still being kept here against her will. Sakura had spent plenty of time lying awake at night, thinking only of her people and how she longed to get back to them. It was futile to dream about, and part of her wondered if they would even accept her if they learned the truth about her Konoha lineage. She wondered what sort of deal Danzo had struck with the Raikage all those years ago… What had been their plan?

Sakura let go of those dark thoughts when she reached the mare, her hands reaching out to stroke the length of her nose as she hugged her face.

"I'm envious of you," Rin said, eyeing Sakura as she took up the reins of her chestnut mare. "Frost won't so much as let me look at her."

"She's spoiled," Sakura said. In truth, she did feel sorry for Rin. She had a caring nature and a gentle soul, and Sakura could see how badly she wanted to get close to Kakashi. Perhaps she thought a surefire way to his heart would be through gaining his horse's favor. Sakura considered herself very lucky that Frost allowed her so near.

"Kakashi made her that way of course." Rin sighed as she climbed up into the saddle. Her breath fogged in the brisk morning air, expanding in a circular cloud until it disappeared into nothing. "He loves that horse more than he loves…" Rin broke off, eyebrows raising, "well, anything."

Sakura climbed up into the saddle, ignoring the spasm her ribs sent in protest. "You two have history?"

"You could tell?"

"I'm not blind," Sakura muttered as she took out the blindfold and obediently tied it around her head. She loathed the contraption but Rin had blessedly allowed her to blindfold herself, which was less mortifying than having someone else do it for her.

"There was a time, many years ago, when Kakashi and I were… intimate," she decided on the word. "I used to be a warrior in my younger days. I gave it up after…" she paused again.

"You don't have to tell me if you're uncomfortable." Frost backed away from the post and began walking beside Rin's mare.

"It's just been a long time since I've talked about it," Rin said. "Everyone here already knows what happened and they avoid bringing it up."

Sakura waited. She did not want to push Rin, but she'd be lying to say she wasn't curious.

"Kakashi, myself, and our friend Obito were fighting side by side in the third war. The battle was a long, drawn out event that spread miles through the countryside. We were nearing the end; all of us were exhausted and injured – starving," Rin said. "We'd lost so many of our clansmen…"

Though Sakura couldn't see Rin's face, she could hear the notes of sorrow in her tone, and Sakura felt the weight of Rin's burden hovering about her like an ominous dark cloud.

"Obito and I went down at the same time. Kakashi was nearest to Obito, but he made Kakashi promise to save me. He delivered the killing blow to my attacker, but he was too late to save Obito. When we made it back to his side, Obito was already gone."

Sakura bit the inside of her cheek, her fingers tightening around the lip of Frost's saddle. She knew what it was like to lose a friend in battle. A piece of one's soul dies with every life that's lost. She thought of Sai again and how the two would fight in unison, protecting each other as they wrought terror on the battlefield. Sakura didn't want to think about losing him… She knew what it would do to her – what it had done to Kakashi and Rin when they lost their friend. "I'm sorry," Sakura told Rin in a quiet tone. The words were not enough, but they were all she had to offer.

"Kakashi and I… comforted one another. We'd both lost Obito, but eventually the weight of losing him became easier to bear because I was living and I had Kakashi… But, Kakashi is… Kakashi," Rin chuckled but it was a humorless sound. "He blames himself for Obito's death. As warriors, we're trained to harden ourselves, right? There's always a possibility that you or your battle-mate won't make it out alive. We're supposed to move on and let go. Kakashi hasn't… He bears the weight of each life he's taken, and each life he's lost on the battlefield. I wanted him to quit… I wanted him to choose living – to share a real life with me but he couldn't…"

"He stays as a means to atone," Sakura said at once. "Because he doesn't think he deserves a peaceful life." Sakura understood. "He will live and die by his blade, and his sentence will only be served when the gods take him from the battlefield."

Rin stayed quiet. For a while, there was nothing but the sound of the horse's hooves on the earth below. "You remind me of him," Rin finally said. "The two of you are strangely similar."

"Is that painful for you?" Sakura wondered aloud.

"No," Rin said, and Sakura could hear the smile in her tone. "It's nice, actually. You remind me of the good parts."

"Rin…" Sakura began, wetting her lower lip, "do you love him still?"

A brief moment of silence passed and then, "A part of me will always love him. But I don't have the capacity to torture myself by pining for something that will never happen again. It's hard sometimes; when he looks at me, I feel myself being drawn back to him, but that road has already been traveled and there's no going back."

Sakura considered this in silence.

"What about you, Sakura? Do you have anyone special in Kumoga?"

"No," she told Rin. "Not a lover, anyway."

"What about here – anyone caught your eye?"

Sakura drew breath and sighed quietly. Even if someone had caught her eye, she couldn't expound on it because she was Kumoga. She couldn't even let herself think of anyone in that way. Even if her heart was telling her that these people weren't all bad, and that Konoha lived and breathed the same as her Kumoga clansmen – Sakura was still a slave to her mind. "No," she told Rin. "I couldn't…"

Rin understood.

The two rode back into the Black Army barracks in companionable silence. When they reached the gates, Rin told her she could take off her blindfold. They led the mares into the stables, dismounted, and set to work on removing the tack and gear. After Frost had been put back in her stall and fed an apple, Sakura pulled her gloves from her cloak and slipped them back on.

"Kabuto is being released from the infirmary today," Rin told her, closing the chestnut mare's stall door. "He's been told not to speak to you, Sakura, but I can't guarantee you won't run into him again. Kakashi told me that he took you on as his ward to help protect you, but you should also know several of the men are whispering behind his back." Rin looked Sakura squarely in the eye.

"About what?"

"You and him," Rin said. "They're calling you his hʊɹ."

Sakura's face burst into flame, the chagrin burning below the blades of her cheeks. Whore. They were calling her his whore.

Rin looked sympathetic. "There are worse things, Sakura… at least you have his protection."

"Does he know?" Sakura grated the words between clenched teeth.

"The men would never say it to his face, lest they want a broken jaw to match the one he gave Kabuto," Rin told her, "but he's aware."

Of course this would do nothing to Kakashi's reputation. He was a Hersir, the highest-ranking military official there was. It was common for warrior men to take a mistress or two to satisfy their sexual appetites in place of marrying. Females were not allotted the same rights. Not even the warriors. They could fight and die by sword, but they were not allowed to be promiscuous if they wanted to marry. The high-born lords would not take a woman who wasn't a virgin to his marital bed. If word got out that Sakura was Kakashi's mistress hʊɹ, she would not be permitted to marry if she ever got back to Kumoga.

"I'm sorry, Sakura."

Sakura bit down on her back molars, grinding her teeth. Of course Konoha was taking everything away from her… She needed to kill the small shred of hope that one day she'd get back to Kumoga and things would be as they were. It was a fairytale made to comfort a girl on a cold winter night, not the harsh reality of the warrior woman.

~oOo~

That evening after the sun had set and Sakura was finished with her stable duties, she met Kakashi in the arena for her evening lesson. He was dressed in a pair of slim-fitted pants, a sleeveless tunic, and had the top half of his silver hair pulled up in a warrior's knot. Sakura hated that the fabric hugged the contours of his powerful form, showcasing every impression and deep line of his musculature. She'd tried to forget what Rin told her earlier that morning, but seeing him now only reminded her of the whispers and rumors that were spreading like wildfire through the barracks. Even Ino was teasing her about it during dinner preparations.

Kakashi tossed her a sword and she caught it by the leather-wrapped hilt. It was a heavy thing, heavier than her own sword, but the weight felt good in her hands. She tested the steel, swinging the blade once to the left, and once to the right. She felt the muscles in her shoulders bunching and contracting. She didn't wait for Kakashi's cue. Her nerves were livewires beneath her skin, fueled by a healthy amount of adrenaline and a sour attitude. She jumped at Kakashi, bringing her blade down in an arc towards his neck. If Kakashi was surprised, he didn't show it. His defensive strike swiped her blade away and the sounds of steel rang out in her ears and vibrated the length of her bones.

Sakura was no stranger to the blade. She was light on her feet and moved swiftly for someone who was still nursing healing ribs. She favored them, which gave Kakashi an open advantage – or it would have, if he was intent on fighting her. Sakura was certain he was playing the defensive part, parrying off her advances with quick and thorough movements. Not once did he offer a counterattack which only made the fury in Sakura's blood rise.

"You're not fighting back," she bit out.

"I don't want to hurt you Sakura."

She could hear the warning in his steady tone and guessed he was not entirely pleased with her initiating the fighting without his cue. She didn't care. Her blood was alive with anger and resentment. She was livid – furious that he had brought her here and let Rin and Tsunade save her life. If Kabuto had killed her weeks ago, then she wouldn't be here now, serving as his ward and being called his hʊɹ. Sakura thrust her blade at his side, grunting as pain blossomed in her ribs from Kakashi's blade meeting hers. The jolt ran down her arm and exploded in her side.

"Take it easy," he said, singular eye flickering towards her ribs as if he could see her pain.

But Sakura did not want to take it easy.

Everything that had been weighing on her seemed to register at once, like water being poured into a cup until it overflowed. There was no more room inside her to store the emotions. The proverbial volcano had erupted. Danzo had stolen her from her parents. She lifted her sword, bringing it towards Kakashi's ribs. The man who lovingly raised her lied about who she really was. She sidestepped, twisting the handle in attempt to knock Kakashi off his feet. She'd been taken from the battlefield and made to serve a life sentence in her enemies' nation. She lifted the sword, advancing against Kakashi with a battle cry. He stood his ground and swiftly knocked the blade out of Sakura's hands with an expert stroke of his own. The blade thudded in the dirt.

Sakura ran at him, pounding his chest with her curled-up fists. Hot tears stung the corners of her eyes as she gritted her teeth. Kakashi tossed his sword aside and wrapped his hands around her wrists, forcing her fingers open with his thumbs. The fight was going out of her as traitorous tears spilled from the corners of her eyes and traced a hot path over the curves of her cheeks. Kakashi gathered both her hands, pinning them to his chest with one hand while his other cupped the back of Sakura's skull and gently pressed her face against his collarbone.

She remembered his hand splaying through her hair, the force behind his palm when he cracked her cheekbone against glass. She'd been afraid of him. Afraid that he could snap her in half with his bare hands. But his hand on her head was gentle now, his fingertips curled lightly against her skull and face, holding her to him like something he feared crushing if he weren't careful.

Sakura's legs began to give out beneath her, and Kakashi let go of her hands, moving his arm around her back to support her weight. This was absurd, Sakura thought, that she both loathed and wanted his comfort.

"They're calling me your hʊɹ," she said against his neck. She could feel the warmth of her own breath, bouncing from his skin and touching her face like a whisper.

"I know," he said.

"I'll never be able to marry. I don't know if that's what I wanted, but now it's not an option. I can never–" Sakura's voice broke. She set her nose and open mouth against Kakashi's skin to muffle the sob that was choking her, her hands knotted in his shirt. He was so warm and his scent tangled in her nose. She liked the feel of him beneath her hands – the way his chest rose as he drew breath. Unyielding. Sakura's hands began to tremble as his hands tightened about her waist.

"Do you hate me for saving your life?" He asked, his breath warm on her hair.

"No," she said. "I hate that I'm no longer in control of my own choices." She turned her face, resting her forehead against his neck until she could feel his pulse against her temple.

"I want to help you," Kakashi said.

"You already have," Sakura told him. "I wouldn't be alive if it weren't for you."

"But I know how you feel," Kakashi said. "The gift of living loses its appeal when the price you pay for life is a cage. Warriors are meant to be free."

Sakura sniffled. Kakashi lifted one of his hands, pressing his palm to the center of her spine, right between her shoulder blades. "You're supposed to hate me," she said. And gods this would be so much easier if he did… There wouldn't be any confusion pulling at her chest. She tried to think of her father, and what he would say now if he saw her seeking the comfort of a Konoha warrior. The thought alone should have made her pull away, but Sakura didn't want to…

"Would that I could," Kakashi said. His right hand lifted to her face, fingertips pressing into the soft skin behind her jaw as he tilted her face towards his. "I will try to get you back home, Sakura, but it will take time. Tsunade will never let you go. Not when you could lead the enemy to our doorstep."

Sakura's arms were still tucked against his chest, her fingertips within inches of his collarbone. "I-I wouldn't," she said in a quiet tone.

"You would be forced to."

Sakura knew there was probably some truth in that statement. "I," she started, looking up into his visible eye, "I don't want anything to happen to you." Was she really going to turn down his offer to get her home because she was worried for his safety? Sakura pushed back from his chest, backing a few steps away and turning her back. She needed cooler air – needed space to think clearly. So many things were shifting for her; her perspective entirely changing. Nothing made sense anymore.

She heard Kakashi move behind her. He could be silent if he wanted, but Sakura guessed that he didn't want to frighten her as he approached. He lifted Sakura's sword, placing the hilt in her palm and closing her fingers around the weapon. His fingers lingered, skimming over her wrist as he dropped his arm to his side.

"I learned sword-work from Danzo as a boy," Kakashi told her. "It appears by your fighting he's still teaching the same things. Let me show you differently."

Sakura nodded and tightened her hand around the hilt as she turned to face him. The weapon brought her back to herself, and holding it steadied her. The blade, at least, was the only thing that Sakura was sure of.

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I was just reading through the comments you guys left me on Chapter 10 so I'm going to respond on here because some of the comments made me remember other things I wanted to share!

Snickiebear - Thank you! I appreciate you taking the time to really dig into the chapter and tell me what you liked about it. You mentioned the world-building and the effort I put in to weave canon, and I just think it's really cool that you can see that. I've mixed a lot of fictitious styles in this story. There's a little bit of Norse and Greek mythology involved, plus canon, plus my own imagination, so it's been quite an adventure writing it all in and combining it. Hopefully you guys are enjoying the mixture!

DancingWithWolvesXx - Thank you for your kind review. It's awesome to hear you've been a fan since the first chapter. That means a lot. :) And you basically had the 'intense emotional scene' pegged! Haha. I promise there will be a lot more emotional development with the characters as the story unfolds.

WhisperingPen - I love reading through your comments. Thanks for taking the time to leave me your thoughts and feels! I feel like you really understand the characters. And you're right - Kakashi doesn't have a Sharingan in this story. As much as I love the canon version of him, I thought it would be a little off kilter for this time-frame to give him the Sharingan since he wasn't born with it. (Granted, I slipped pictures in this story) ::face-palm:: I imagine them as paintings, but cameras were so not invented yet, haha.

Appreciate the reviews and comments: YessChristopher, Leafshadow2, and Skittles116. You guys rock!

I think it's pretty safe to say that Frost is stealing the spotlight at this point, but who doesn't love a story with a horse in it? ;)

Hang tight for Chapter 12 - it's going to be an intense one!

Thanks for reading,
~Sparrow