Chapter 9

For the rest of the summer holiday, Sakura didn't see Syaoran at all. He didn't try to contact her, so she didn't either, worried that she would only make things worse between them.

Just like the summer holiday of the previous year, Sakura spent most of her time either doing chores at home or hanging out with Eriol. They went to the summer festival again and had a great time.

"Sakura! Wake up!" Kero shook her shoulder.

"Ungh… Five more minutes…" Sakura mumbled.

"You and Eriol are going to be late!" Kero yelled at her.

Sakura shot up in bed and glanced at her alarm clock. "No!" She jumped out of bed and scrambled to get her uniforms. "Why didn't you wake me up?!"

"I tried!" Kero told her.

Sakura quickly went to the bathroom to get ready for school and then ran downstairs.

"Good morning!" She greeted her Dad and Touya. "Morning, Mom." Sakura said to Nadeshiko's picture, as always.

"Morning, Sakura." Fujitaka greeted her as he handed her a sandwich, knowing that she wouldn't have time to eat breakfast.

"Late again? On the first day no less…" Touya said.

Sakura would've had responded to him if she wasn't already late. "Bye!" She took her sandwich and left.

"Some things would never change…" Touya commented and Fujitaka just smiled.

"Morning, Eriol!" Sakura practically ran from her house to the intersection and spotted him waiting for her. "Sorry I'm late."

"Good morning, Sakura. It's okay, we still have time." They started walking. "Did you not have breakfast?" Eriol frowned as Sakura unwrapped her sandwich and started eating. She didn't like eating while walking, but she didn't have any choice today.

"Ah, I was really late." Sakura said sheepishly.

Fifteen minutes later, they arrived at school.

"Good morning, Sakura! Morning, Hiiragizawa." Tomoyo greeted them, slightly disappointed that Sakura was still coming to school with Eriol. She was hoping that Sakura would be coming with Syaoran instead.

"Morning, Daidouji." Eriol said politely before Yamazaki got his attention.

"Good morning, Tomoyo! How was your holiday?" Sakura greeted her friend. Tomoyo and her mother had gone to a month-long trip to China for Sonomi's business.

"It was great!" Tomoyo said. At the same time, Syaoran stepped into the classroom, just as the bell rang.

"Morning, Li!" Tomoyo said cheerfully.

"Morning…" Syaoran put his bag on his desk and sat down. Tomoyo looked at Sakura who had suddenly fallen silent and then at Syaoran who was looking at everywhere else but Sakura. Tomoyo was about to ask what had happened when the teacher came in.

Sakura was on her way to the bathroom when Tomoyo caught up with her. Wordlessly, Tomoyo grabbed Sakura's hand and dragged her to the back of the school.

"Tomoyo!" Sakura protested. "I need to use the bathroom!"

"What happened between you and Li?" Tomoyo asked without preamble.

"Nothing." Sakura lied. Well, technically she wasn't lying. Nothing happened between her and Syaoran.

"You're lying." Tomoyo said. "If nothing happened, then why are you two acting so strangely?"

Sakura remained quiet.

"Sakura! You will tell me what's going on!" Tomoyo asked.

"He asked me to be his girlfriend and I said no." Sakura told her friend.

Tomoyo looked horrified. "Why?" She didn't understand. She thought Sakura liked Syaoran too.

"Because I don't feel the same way about him." Sakura said. She wasn't sure what to make of her situation with Syaoran just yet, the last thing she needed was Tomoyo getting involved in this too.

"But… Are you sure? Maybe you just need some time to think about it." Tomoyo tried to persuade her friend.

"No. Tomoyo, I don't feel the same way and it won't be fair for the both of us." Sakura said.

"He cares about you a lot, Sakura. I can see that." Tomoyo persisted.

"I care about him too, but not in that way. He's a great friend, Tomoyo, but nothing more." Sakura frowned, confused why Tomoyo was being so insistent about this.

"Maybe not yet. Maybe if you give him a chance…" Tomoyo kept trying.

"I don't think so." Sakura said firmly. "Why are you so persistent about this, Tomoyo?"

"Because you're my best friend and I care a lot about you, and I want what's best for you." Tomoyo said. "And I can see that Li really cares about you and he's going to make you happy."

Sakura was suddenly annoyed. "You don't know what's best for me, Tomoyo." She said to her before walking away.

"Sakura!" Tomoyo tried to go after her friend but thought better of it. Sakura just needed some time to cool down.

A few days passed and Sakura and Syaoran had not said a word to each other. On Sunday, Sakura was walking home from the grocery store when they met by accident on the street.

"Syaoran!" Sakura called his name and he stopped but didn't turn around. "I, can we please talk?" She asked, her tone pleading.

Syaoran was quiet for a moment, but then he turned to face her and nodded. Silently they made their way to the Penguin Park and sat down on the bench.

"I'm sorry." Sakura started. "I'm sorry I've hurt you. I didn't mean to. We, we went through a lot together, we fought together, capturing the cards, changing the cards, you're always there with me through it all and I…" Sakura took a deep breath. "You're one of my closest friends, Syaoran and I'd hate to lose you, to lose our friendship."

Syaoran was silent as he seemed to think of her words. "I'm sorry too, Sakura. I guess, I've misinterpreted your feelings. I thought…" He paused. "Never mind what I thought. I, you're right, we've been through a lot together. I'd hate to throw away our friendship too. I hope, I hope that we can move past this." Syaoran said. He had thought a lot about this and while his feelings for her still stood, he realized that they had always been good friends and he'd hate to ruin it.

Sakura looked at him. "Thank you, Syaoran. Are we, are we okay now?" She asked hesitantly.

Syaoran gave her a small smile. "I think we are, Sakura."

Sakura smiled at that and held out her hand. "Friends?"

Syaoran looked at her offered hand and shook it. "Friends." He said firmly. It would take him some time to get over his feelings for her, but at least they were still friends.

"I'm glad!" Sakura's smile got wider.

"Good morning, Syaoran!" Sakura greeted him brightly the next morning in class.

"Morning, Sakura." Syaoran greeted her back. All in all, it was a good thing that they'd talked yesterday. Things had been awkward between them, but it looked like things were going to get better after this.

Their newfound ease wasn't lost to Tomoyo, but she didn't say anything, instead she chose to be a silent observer, for now.

"I see you and Li are talking again." Tomoyo said carefully during lunch.

"Oh yeah. We talked and cleared up a few things. We're friends and we both don't want to lose that." Sakura said as she ate her lunch.

"I'm glad to hear that, Sakura." Tomoyo said sincerely. Sakura had made it clear to her that she didn't want her involvement in this matter but looking at them now gave her an idea. She still hadn't given up on Syaoran and Sakura being together. She just had to do it in a more subtle way.

"Me too." Sakura nodded with a smile.

A few months passed and things were getting better between Sakura and Syaoran. They were pretty much back to normal, much to Tomoyo's delight. In turns, Tomoyo had started to push them together in not-too-subtle ways, much to Sakura's annoyance and frustration.

"I don't understand." Sakura told Eriol as she sat in one of the empty chairs in the music room during lunch break. "Why can't she just leave this alone? I mean, I've made it very clear to her that Syaoran and I are not going to happen, but she keeps on trying. Just the other day, she dragged me to his soccer practice just so that I can 'cheer for him'."

"She cares about you and just wants the best for you, Sakura." Eriol said as his fingers started to move across the piano keys.

Sakura fell quiet as he started playing. She loved listening to him play. As she sat here listening to him in the empty music room, it was as if he was playing for her and her alone, and that had made her very happy.

Sakura wanted to know him more, wanted to see more of those smiles of his and wanted to be closer to him. She was aware of it all, but didn't want to admit it, even to herself, because she was scared. She was scared that if she started to acknowledge it, everything that they had built in the past couple of years would be ruined. He was… Eriol, her mentor, her best friend. On top of that, he was Clow Reed's reincarnation and she was just Sakura. Who was she to be worthy of his affection? Why would he care about her that way? She was lucky enough to have this opportunity to get to know him and she didn't want to ruin that and put their friendship in jeopardy. It was better like this, to be his friend, his student, instead of taking the risk of losing him altogether. So, for now, she would just enjoy her time with him.

"How does it feel like?" Sakura asked Eriol as they sat in his garden. "To be Clow's reincarnation? To be the most powerful magician in the world." She had been curious about this but had held back because she didn't want to overstep her boundaries. But seeing that they had gotten much closer now, she decided to risk it.

Eriol contemplated on his answer. "It's… lonely." He said with a sad smile on his face. "Clow was a recluse. Being who he was, people tended to fear him or dislike him. He didn't have many friends and the few that he had, well, he lost them due to his long life. He was content, but it was a lonely existence. It's more or less the same for me. That's why he had created Yue and Kero, and I, Spinnel and Ruby, to be our companions, more than anything."

"It must've been difficult for you." Sakura told him empathically. Her eyes were filled with sadness knowing that he had to live a lonely life.

"I told you that I'm the same age as you are, but being his reincarnation, I'm, my soul, is so much older than that." Eriol continued. "I never have any childhood, never know how it's like to be a child. Even Clow himself didn't have much of a childhood. His magic had developed so strongly since he was young, and he had dedicated his life to learn more about magic."

They were quiet for a few moments.

"I talk to Clow sometimes, you know." Eriol told Sakura suddenly.

"Eh?" Sakura looked at him in surprise.

"Clow and I, we're one and the same, but different. I'm my own person, with my own feelings and my own personalities. While we share a lot of characters and attributes, we're not exactly 100% the same. So, sometimes I talk to him. It started when I was very young. As I started to regain his memories, he was there to guide me. After all, I was only five at that time." Eriol said.

Sakura thought about it, but no matter how hard she tried, she couldn't wrap her head around it. "I'm afraid I don't understand. Do you talk to him in your head or…?"

"Most of the times, yes, but other times, he… appeared as, well, as a manifestation, a spirit." Eriol said. "Having all this knowledge, all this power, it's complicated. There are things that nobody else will ever understand, other than him that is, because he is me and I am him."

"That… makes sense." Sakura said. She supposed if anyone could understand him completely, it had to be Clow, because they're basically the same person. "So, is it like… talking to yourself?"

Eriol smiled. Sakura had a knack of making everything sound so simple. "Exactly. We have the same knowledge, the same memories, we're essentially the same person. So yes, basically I'm talking to myself. But this one can actually make an appearance as another person."

"I see." Sakura nodded in understanding. Sakura knew she would never ever fully understand him, but she hoped that as time went by, she hoped that she would understand him more and could be there for him, even as just a friend. "Eriol, you're not alone anymore, you know… You have friends now. Not just your guardians. You have Yamazaki and you have me. I might not be able to understand you, but I'm here for you if you need a friend or just someone to talk to, okay?"

Eriol's eyes widened slightly, but then he gave her a sincere smile. "Thank you, Sakura. That really means a lot to me."

Sakura smiled at him. It had hurt her heart to know that he was lonely, that he had nobody else and Sakura swore that she'd be here for him, as much as she could, for as long as he wanted her.

Months went by and Sakura was becoming more aware of her growing feelings for Eriol, but still, she had never said anything to anyone. They had gotten closer, partly thanks to Tomoyo. In her attempts to bring Sakura and Syaoran together, for god-knows-why, Tomoyo had inadvertently pushed Sakura and Eriol closer because Sakura was starting to actively avoid her and seek him out instead.

"Hiding from Daidouji again?" Syaoran asked Sakura as he spotted her in the library. Tomoyo was still being as persistent as ever to get Sakura and Syaoran together, that even Syaoran himself was feeling very uncomfortable. He and Sakura had built a different kind of relationship and he had enjoyed their new friendship and would hate to jeopardize it.

"It's like she has made it her life mission to get us together for some unknown reasons that I really don't understand." Sakura let her head drop to her folded arms.

"Neither do I." Syaoran sat down beside her. "It's getting weird now."

"You don't say…" Sakura tilted her head to the side to look at him. "I'm sorry she has dragged you into this whole thing."

"I'm already involved from the start." Syaoran pointed out. "I mean, thinking back, part of the reasons why I developed those feelings for you was because she kept mentioning it or hinting it."

Sakura frowned. "Did she really?"

Syaoran nodded. "Now that I've got a lot of time thinking about it, I think my feelings for you might not have developed that much if she hadn't mentioned it at all." It was strange to talk about his feelings for her like this, but this was how he knew that he had moved on. He didn't regret having those feelings for her. It was something that he could learn from after all.

"Hm…" Sakura straightened up. "That's strange, but still, I don't understand why she's being so stubborn about this."

Syaoran just shrugged. "What are you doing here anyway?" It wasn't like her to hide in the library.

"Studying." Sakura indicated the book that she was reading. "For the test tomorrow." Ever since they had gotten to the second year of Junior High, Sakura had found it a little harder to keep up with her study, especially for certain subjects. Her Dad and Eriol had been tutoring her, but she was also determined to learn on her own.

"Ah, me too." Syaoran placed his book on the table and opened it up and started reading. For the remainder of their lunch break, Sakura and Syaoran studied and discussed about their upcoming test.

Eriol took a deep breath as he prepared himself. After a few seconds, he said, "Sakura, I like you. Will you go out with me?"

"That's not too hard, isn't it Master? Now, all you need to do is to say it to her instead of your own reflection." Spinnel said from his position on the sofa.

Eriol glared at his guardian slightly.

"It's starting to affect you. You're getting distracted. You have to tell her soon." Spinnel told his Master.

"Easy for you to say…" Eriol muttered. Being as powerful as he was, it was safe to say that Eriol didn't get nervous easily and he was not afraid of anything. But the thought of telling Sakura how he felt had made him nervous, and the possibility of her rejection was enough to terrify him. After what happened between her and Syaoran, Eriol was scared that he too, would meet the same fate. He had wanted to tell her how he felt, had felt that they had gotten close enough now that it would be safe enough for him to tell her, but he kept putting it off. He himself had thought that Sakura had liked Syaoran, but she hadn't. What if she didn't like him either?

But Spinnel was right too. It had been affecting him and the closer they got, the more difficult it was for him to control his feelings. That had affected his judgement, his magic too, in a way. It had disturbed him greatly, to the point that he was starting to have nightmares about her rejection. He couldn't go on like this for much longer. He had to tell her soon and he was planning to do it on his 14th birthday next week. Depending on her answer, it could be the best birthday, or the worst.

One week later, Sakura and Kero had come to Eriol's house to celebrate his birthday with him and his guardians. After the cake was eaten and everyone seemed to have enjoyed themselves, Nakuru had left for her part-time job, wishing him good luck, knowing that he had planned to tell Sakura how he felt that day.

Despite his outer appearance, Eriol had not enjoyed his birthday celebration. Sakura had brought a cake, just like she had for three years now, but for once, he couldn't really taste it. His stomach was in knots and his heart was pounding against his chest as he kept thinking about his upcoming confession to her. After they cleaned up, Sakura and Eriol went to his garden, leaving the guardians to their own devices.

"You're fourteen now and I will be too in a week. Time flies." Sakura told him as they sat on the grass enjoying the weather.

The weather had been very nice today. It was sunny and warm. Eriol looked up to the sky as he gathered up his courage. He could almost laugh at himself. He, the most powerful sorcerer there was, the reincarnation of the great Clow Reed himself, was terrified of telling a girl how he felt. But then again, she was not just any girl.

"Eriol?" Sakura's voice brought him back from his musing. He turned to see that she was looking at him questioningly.

"I'm sorry, you were saying?" He could feel his voice shaking slightly. 'Get yourself together, Hiiragizawa.' He told himself.

"I was wondering if you would like to spar." She looked at him with concern. They had always sparred on his birthday, to commemorate their battle four years ago now.

"No, not today, Sakura." Eriol said. "I have something else in mind today."

"Oh?" Sakura looked excited. "A new training?"

"No. It's… I have something that I want to talk to you about." Eriol told her.

Sakura's excitement turned into concern. "What is it?" She had noticed that he wasn't being himself today. He had not smiled as much and was distracted throughout the day. It wasn't like him at all and it worried her.

Eriol turned his body slightly to face her. If he was going to do this, he was going to do it properly. He was going to say it to her face instead of to an empty air. "Sakura, do you remember our conversation a few months ago? When I told you that Clow and I are different in some ways?" Eriol asked her.

Sakura nodded. "Of course."

"I told you that while we share a lot of similarities, I have my own feelings." He paused and could feel his own face reddening. "That… That includes my feelings for you. Sakura, I really like you. Will you go out with me?"