Chapter 19

I couldn't understand how they had found me, because I'd been so careful in covering up my tracks. Plus, why did they want to find me, I mean that many men just to look for me seemed so excessive, especially as I hadn't actually done anything to warrant that from them. Or was it the fact that I'd disappeared that made them suspicious? Were they after the information that they thought I might have, yeah possibly, maybe the hard drive that Ranger had sent to me. Did that mean they'd found the vault and broken into it? Probably not if they were still looking for me. It made me wonder what the hell was on that hard drive that was so important. But surely Ranger wouldn't have sent it to me if he knew it would put me in danger, would he? Or would he know that I'd be able to hide it and think that no one would suspect anything.

Maybe this was a bad idea, maybe if I'd stayed at home and not done anything different then no one would even think to point a finger at me? Damn Ranger for doing this to me. He always said that he'd been worried that it would be his enemies that would hurt me so surely that had never been his intention. Should I try and talk to Tank, maybe get some help? Nah, he'd stop me from moving forward with what I was going to do.

I'd come too far now for that to happen. Plus, there were probably people watching every move made by Rangeman. Shit I hoped that Tank wasn't going mad at trying to find me as well. I really didn't want Tank or Lester or even Bobby being mad at me. In some ways it made me feel even more determined to finish what I'd started. I wanted to know what the hell was so important that Ranger had died for it and I wanted to make a statement. Don't fuck with what's mine, because you've lost me the love of my life before we'd even admitted it to each other. My heart ached all over again that I hadn't been able to tell Ranger what I felt, hadn't been able to look in his eyes as I said it.

Then it hit me, would he ever have said that he loved me if he'd come back alive? That I'd only read it because he was dead? If he'd come back alive would we still be dancing in circles with each other because he was afraid that loving me would somehow hurt me? I knew that I was talking about "What ifs" and that there was no way to rewind the clock.

I found myself walking past a bank and had a sudden thought. Taking out the bank card for Carrie Emille I inserted it in the cash machine and withdrew as much money as the machine would allow me to. I quickly put the money in my pocket and the card into my bag and quickly walked to the subway. After another block of walking after the subway I walked into Pennsylvania Station, looking at the boards for departing trains.

I saw one that was leaving soon, heading to Philadelphia, so went to the ticket booth and bought a one-way ticket with the bank card. Maybe they'd think I was heading back to Trenton, yeah that was a nice idea. If I could have worked out where the train made any stops I might have actually got on board. Instead, seeing that a train had just arrived and lots of people were making for the exits I mingled in the middle of the crowd and with my head down headed outside. As I passed a garbage bin, I shoved my bag inside, including the bank card and train ticket. I was really hoping that those men in suits were as stupid as they looked and would follow the trail that I'd left for them and end up on a wasted journey to Philadelphia.

It was late when I entered my hotel as Lilian Aspenall. I went straight to the elevator and used the key card to open the door. I was worried that maybe I'd be found here but to be honest it was the early hours of the morning and I didn't have the energy to think up anything else that I could do. Besides everything I needed for my upcoming trip was here and I was being collected from here the next morning to be transported to the airport. I hung the "Do not disturb" card outside the door, engaged the lock and chain before heading into the bedroom. I felt exhausted from all the running around tonight and knowing I didn't need to meet with Adam until the afternoon meant I could spend the morning in bed.

It was probably a good job that I didn't need to get up early the next morning, I'd tossed and turned for hours before falling asleep. It wasn't that I wasn't tired, I suppose it was because I was overtired and had so many things going through my mind. Then when I did fall asleep, I was running in my dreams. Running after Adam to get those hard drives back and running from the men in suits. Running from the sound of footsteps behind me and trying to catch up with the shadow of a man ahead of me. I hated that as he turned around to face me it was when I woke up. I really wanted to know who I would want to see. In the back of my head, I think I knew it was Ranger and I probably never saw him because in my subconscious he wasn't there to be seen.

At 3.25 I was stood outside of the Piccanto café, trying to look inside to see if I could spot Adam. To anyone watching me they'd have thought I was studying the menu hanging on the window. Relief washed through me when I spied Adam sat at one of the tables. I had my hat pulled down over my head and hair, and my jacket fastened up to my chin. As I walked through the door, I heard a bell jingle above my head, and started to walk toward the table where Adam was sat. The café looked like the type of place that the locals used, four plastic chairs at each table.

Adam was seated at a table on the right of the café, facing the door in the chair next to the aisle and as I approached, he looked to his side and behind him. I took that to mean that he wanted me to sit at the table behind him, with my back to him but up against the wall. I had to say that I felt uneasy being sat there, not being able to look across the room.

A look at the menu for real this time almost had me groaning. Of course, someone as fanatical as Adam would be a vegan which made my choices extremely limited. As the waitress approached, I decided on a smoothie. When the drink came, I had to admit that it did look good and one sip had me liking it. I looked at the menu to check out the ingredients surprised with what it had been made with. Almond milk, ripe banana, sliced frozen fruit medley, coconut oil, chia seeds and powdered ginger.

I was half-way through my drink when an image of Ranger came to me, him leant against the kitchen counter in his apartment, trying his best to encourage me to drink one of his smoothies. I was brought from the memory by Adam leaning back slightly on his chair.

"Coat pocket"

I took that to mean that the hard drives were in the pocket of his jacket hung over the back of his chair. I slipped my hand into my jacket and brought out a tight roll of notes. My hand went to his pocket and as I dropped the money inside my fingers curled around the two hard drives. As soon as I had them in my hand they were in my pocket and I quickly finished my drink. I stood from the table leaving enough cash to cover the bill and a large tip. From where I was sat, I could see a door with an arrow indicating where the lady's rest room was.

I left Adam to finish his meal and without a backward glance went through the door. I knew there was a back exit to the place, because I'd walked down the alley on my way to the café. Once outside I started my usual avoidance tour, keeping to alley ways and walking through shops. I transferred the hard drives to my jeans pocket as I passed through a busy clothes shop and then slipped off my jacket, leaving it lying next to a chair by the changing rooms. I rewound the thick scarf around my neck to cover the lower half of my face and was on my way again. I wanted to get back to the hotel as soon as possible.

I smiled at the girl on the desk but didn't stop to talk with anyone, I went straight to the elevator and into my room as quickly as possible. As the door closed behind me, I let out a breath of relief and leant against it, feeling so relieved that the meeting with Adam had seemed to go so well. All I had to worry about was whether or not he had uploaded that virus for me. At the moment I had to believe that he had come through for me.

Once the door was securely locked, I went through to the bedroom and opened the closet, pulling out all of the things that I'd bought. Removing tags and price tickets I started on the task of packing my rucksack, leaving clothes out on the couch for the morning. The small rucksack would hold my valuables and those things needed for travelling with. I wasn't too sure where to put the hard drives but had a brainwave as I turned the rucksack over to look at it. It also gave me an idea for where to hide the last documents that I'd found in Ranger's vault. I had the second phone and laptop that I'd used as Lilian Aspenall in there, as well as id, passport, camera and cash.

I looked around the room making sure that everywhere was tidy and then changed into some tailored trousers and a blouse taking any clothes that I didn't need and putting them into the large plastic bag that the rucksack had been in. My clothes were set out for the morning, both rucksacks were packed meaning that I was ready to leave. I had one more thing to do before trying to catch a few hours of sleep.

Once down in the lobby I made my way across to the restaurant. It was almost empty, probably because it was still early for most people to be thinking about eating. This time I went for Italian choosing Malfatti for my main course and Torta al Cioccolato for dessert. By the time I'd finished I felt stuffed, almost regretting having eaten so much, almost but not quite. I thanked the waitress as she cleared away the dishes and then made my way to reception.

"Ma'am, how can I help you?"

"I'm leaving very early in the morning so need to settle my account"

"Certainly Ma'am. What name is it please?"

"Aspenall, Lilian"

I watched as the young man worked on the computer and as the paper came out of the printer. I almost threw up when I saw how much they were charging me, actually worrying that there would be enough money in the account. I realized that I had no idea how much money Ranger had transferred into each account. I handed over the card and held my breath not knowing what the hell I would do if it was rejected. The smile on the young man's face told me that everything was okay.

"I hope you enjoy the rest of your vacation Ma'am"

"Thank you"

"Do you need a wakeup call or transportation anywhere?"

"No, I'll be fine, but thank you for asking"

That done I returned to my room and locked the door. I was still worried that I'd be found, I mean if they could find me at the Holiday Inn then maybe they could find me here. I had no choice really and only had to last out until 4 am. That's when a minibus organized with the adventure group would be picking me up.

I couldn't believe that I'd spent 34 hours travelling. Well, yes I could, because I felt tired and irritable and achy. Even my head was aching when we eventually landed for what I hoped was the last time.

I suppose I'd had my reservations when I'd seen the other passengers already in the minibus when it had arrived at the hotel to pick me up. I'd been so relieved to be leaving the hotel after another restless night. So relieved that no one had come hammering on my door that I nodded my acknowledgement to the other passengers in the group deciding to reserve any judgement that their first impressions gave me. I'd sat in the first row behind the driver's seat and watched as my rucksack was loaded into the back of the van.

A man had then got into the front passenger seat and turned to face us.

"Hi, my name is Daniel, or Danny if you prefer. I answer to both. I'll be your guide for this trip, so please don't hesitate to ask anything you want"

From the way he'd then turned around to face the front it seemed to me that he didn't want to entertain that idea at the moment. Maybe he'd learnt how best to deal with groups of people. I'd rested my head against the window looking out, the city still in darkness as we sped through the streets toward the airport.

It gave me the opportunity to reflect on what I'd done so far and had me feeling pleased with myself. I'd left behind everything that I knew behind me. Places and the people that I loved, but I didn't have any regrets. I'd even managed to avoid detection and trouble so maybe I was doing the right thing, maybe luck was with me for the first time in my life. I suppose in some ways I was doing what Ranger had said to do, to find my wings and fly.

The past few days in New York had made me realize the things that I could do though I had no idea what was ahead of me. I couldn't even think of what I would do once I arrived in Cambodia. Hell, it was a big country, and I had no idea whereabouts Ranger had been or even if there was going to be any clues to follow. I'd do what I always did, follow my feelings and hope that I got lucky. If not, then I would enjoy the opportunities that came with the trip and maybe at least feel that I'd tried. I didn't want to think about afterwards or even entertain the idea that I might fail.

Once at the airport we were told to collect our bags, having the option to use a trolley if we wanted. I wanted to, not being used to carrying a rucksack on my back and knowing that we could be queuing for ages just to get through customs and passport control.

I'd been really surprised though when Daniel led us to the front of the queue noting that we were going to be flying with British Airways. Our passports were checked, and my large rucksack was soon disappearing down the conveyor belt. That done there was similar treatment for moving through security making the whole ordeal bearable. I even managed to walk through without any alarms going off or being asked to empty out my small rucksack.

Once through the official hurdles I actually started to relax. I knew that the passport that Ranger had for me was good, but I was still nervous about using it. From there we were led to a private lounge area, where the drinks and food were free. That had been the first time that I'd really taken any notice of who else was on the trip with me.

There was an older couple, maybe the age of my parents, probably able to travel now if their kids had left home. They kept to themselves and sat apart from the main group, him reading the paper while his wife was helping herself to food.

A young couple who couldn't keep their hands off each other, making me think of how Ranger had been with me in the past. She was as white skinned as me with long blonde hair contrasting to his dark skin and hair. She spent most of her time resting against him while he read from an electronic book. I had to look away from them quickly before my emotions crept up on me. I didn't want to think about what might have been, only what I wanted to do. Thinking of the man reading wasn't something I could imagine Ranger doing anyway but it was probably something I should have thought of buying but I wasn't thinking that I'd have that much spare time.

Looking around there were two young guys that seemed to be travelling together, they looked young though, maybe only just in their twenties. They were sweet as they seemed to follow Daniel everywhere, as though he were their new surrogate Dad. That left the two loud girls who for some reason had made themselves comfortable at the table I was sat at. By looking at what they were wearing I wasn't too sure what they thought this trip was about, it seemed to me they were here for a good time. They could probably put me to shame with the makeup and hair, and hey I was a Jersey girl.

I kept to myself as much as possible, nibbling on some sandwiches that were available, not really fancying the food in the hot trays.

"Lilian, is there anything you need to know"

I hadn't realized that Daniel had sat down next to me, surprised at what he was asking.

I did know what I wanted to do though.

"Is it okay if I meet you at the gate, I'd like to buy a few things for the flight"

"No problem, you have your boarding card. You can still come back up here if you want to"

"To be honest with you I could do with a break from the two girls"

Daniel looked over to the two girls sat opposite and smiled.

"Tammy and Ashley, yeah, they're a bit excitable but I've seen girls like them before. I think most of their behavior is just bravado, they'll settle down once we get there"

I'd left the quiet of the lounge and went downstairs to the shops and cafés. I actually enjoyed looking at the designer clothes and accessories even though I had no intention of buying anything. I did find a book that I liked the look of, though I kept well away from the type of books that Connie would read, romance stories. Instead, I chose a book that was a true story. "Girl waits with Gun" The story of Constance Kopp who was one of the first women to become a deputy sheriff in the USA. After becoming the victim to a crime herself, nothing grim, I promise, Constance joined forces with her sisters to bring the perpetrator to justice, and ended up with a job on the New Jersey police force. It was one that I just couldn't resist.

The flights, yeah there were three of them, went in a blur. Well a blur of watching films, reading, eating and sleeping. Even though we were seated as a group Daniel had me sat next to the elderly couple and after a brief chat they were as happy as I was to do our own thing.

At least I could say that I'd been to different countries, England before another flight to Hanoi. The layover at London Heathrow was only a couple of hours but we seemed to sit around for hours in Hanoi, Vietnam before eventually finishing out journey to Siem Reap, Cambodia. The book that I'd bought at the airport kept me occupied but as we were waiting in Hanoi, Daniel had given us all a book that he thought we should read before landing in Cambodia. I wasn't a person who particularly enjoyed reading historical facts, but I had to say by the time I'd finished reading it I was both fascinated and horrified at what had happened in that country.

It had taken us over thirty hours to get here and by my watch it was early evening but according to Daniel it was actually late morning. I found that so hard to get my head around, how was America 11 hours behind? It may have been morning, but I wasn't bothered about missing the first day here. I'd laid on the bed in the dark, with the air conditioning on and slept.