Robin blinked his eyes open, nuzzling his face into his pillow. In his sleep, he had rolled onto his stomach and Mr. Crow was pressed against his chest. The comforter was pulled up to his shoulders, heavy fabric keeping his body warm. He reached his hands up to rub the sleep out of his eyes. What time was it?

Pushing himself up onto his hands and knees, he squinted at the sunlight slipping in through the window blinds. Afternoon, maybe? It was the end of November and the sun seemed to set by four or five at night. Honestly, having a clock to reference would be optimal; maybe he could ask Izumi if they had a spare he could keep in his room.

His room, huh? Robin smiled to himself. Well, maybe it was more accurate to say their room, considering he shared it with Goro and Loki, but still. It was nice to have his own space. The orphanage was never home; neither were the foster homes with their past foster families. The fact that the terms were foster homes and foster families made Robin's skin crawl; nothing about those houses and people were loving.

Homes were places where you felt safe. Families made you feel loved.

Robin had always wondered what it was like to be loved. Most children had parents that loved and cared for them. When his nights were spent curled into a ball on his small bed in the orphanage, he wondered what he had done to deserve this life. Most children had parents. What had he done wrong?

He moved to sit cross-legged, hands finding Mr. Crow. Brushing his fingers against the fuzzy black material, Robin sighed. This was a new chapter in their life. He had a good feeling about the Niijima's, and he was sure Goro and Loki did as well. Jiro went shopping with them and seemed anything besides burdened; Izumi was patient and made sure they were comfortable with whatever they did. Sae was nice and seemed as if she would warm up to them in time, and Makoto was a fun playmate.

Even when foster families would act nice at the beginning, they were never this attentive and caring. Robin could remember one of their first families being polite for the first two weeks but, as soon as Robin spoke out against something, the hat dropped. It had been a stormy night and their foster uncle locked him in a cramped closet before dinner; his only company that night had been his crippling hunger and the growing fear of the loud claps of thunder.

His fingers tightened around Mr. Crow, fluff morphing in his hands and misshaping the animal. He squeezed his eyes shut, dispelling the memory, and reopened them. He was safe now.

After a moment of composing himself, he clambered to his feet and approached the door. With one hand securely wrapped around Mr. Crow, he used the other to pull the door open. The hallway was empty and the other bedroom doors were open, rooms completely vacant. Sae and Makoto were still at school, and Jiro was probably still at work. Where was Izumi?

Robin headed down the stairs, fingers ghosting along the wood of the railings. When he got to the main floor, he made his way into the living room. Sitting in one of the chairs was a sleeping Izumi, an open book in her lap. She didn't snore and, if Robin wasn't paying close attention, he may have believed her to be awake with her eyes closed. Her breathing was even and she looked to be at peace.

One of the main skills Robin picked up on during his stay in foster homes was the ability to sneak around silently. Careful steps, avoiding foster family, and slipping around the house to steal food after being denied a meal. After Goro would fall asleep, Robin would take over and sneak into the kitchen. Loki had been envious of Robin's talent and tried it himself one night; he ended up with a hard slap across his face and an ugly bruise.

Robin slipped past Izumi and towards the kotatsu a foot away from her. A picture of her, Jiro, Sae, and Makoto sat on the table. He put Mr. Crow down and picked it up tentatively, observing it. Izumi and Jiro stood in back and Sae and Makoto were positioned in front of them. With Sae in front of Jiro and Makoto in front of Izumi, the daughters looked to be miniature versions of their parents. Makoto had her mother's chestnut brown hair and crimson eyes; Sae had her father's ashen brown hair and chocolate brown eyes.

Robin ran a hand through his honey brown hair, parting it to the right. While his hair and eye color weren't too far off from Izumi and Makoto's, it still felt wrong. He wasn't a Niijima - not really. His own mother was dead and his father was a nameless face.

He placed the photo back onto the kotatsu. His chest hurt, as if somebody had reached into his chest and squeezed his heart. Robin reached for Mr. Crow and pulled the stuffed animal close to his chest.

His lips wobbled and he took a seat on one of the tatami, warm tears welling in his eyes. He pulled his knees to his chest, folded his arms over his legs, and pressed his face into arms. Muffling his cries, his body silently wracked with his sobs.

Reaching inside of himself, he recognized that Goro and Loki were both still asleep. That was fine - he didn't need to trouble them with his woes. They had enough to cry over.

"Goro?"

Robin kept his head buried in his arms, gasping through his sobs. This wasn't Izumi's fault, this wasn't her fault, why am I crying, please don't come near me -

Izumi dropped to her knees next to him, hovering her hand over his shoulder. "Goro honey," she said quietly, slowly, patiently, "you don't have to tell me what's wrong but can I do anything to make it better?"

He curled closer into himself, tears rolling down his cheeks. He shouldn't be crying. He shouldn't be burdening Izumi over something like this. This wasn't her fault. Why couldn't he stop crying?

She shifted, the fabric of her clothes brushing against the floor. "Can I hug you?" She asked.

Robin barely managed a nod. Izumi moved closer to him and enveloped him into a hug. He melted into the embrace, allowing himself to cry freely.

They remained like that for a few minutes until Robin ran out of tears to cry. He lay his body against hers weakly, eyes burning and nose a bright red. Izumi rubbed circles on his back, lulling him into a sense of calm.

She may not have been his biological mother but - that hardly meant she couldn't be his actual mother. Loki had felt similarly, especially after the time he spent with Izumi these past two days.

"Do you want to start our book club?" She asked not unkindly, giving him one more reassuring squeeze before leaning back. "It might make you feel better."

Robin sniffled, clutching Mr. Crow to his chest. A few hours ago he had been happy, getting a haircut and picking out his manga. He focused on those lingering memories, the fondness in Izumi's voice when she had said my beautiful boy and looked at him like he was her entire world. Maybe he would never be a Niijima by blood, but that meant nothing. Goro's father was out there somewhere, with the same blood swimming in his veins as his son, but the boys had never met the man. Blood obviously hadn't kept their father with them.

"Okay," he said with a small smile.

Izumi smiled back, and Robin wished he could immortalize the image forever. She headed up the stairs, presumably to retrieve the boys' bag of books from their room, which left Robin by himself. His garnet eyes trailed down to the crow in his hands, and the animal's beady eyes stared back at him. What an odd choice for a stuffed animal. Nevertheless, Mr. Crow was a comfort in its own way, and Robin was appreciative of Makoto's gift once again.

Robin felt a sudden shift and -

Oh, Loki said, voice heavy with sleep, you're already up, Robin?

He nodded, knowing that Izumi was still upstairs. He kept his voice quiet regardless. "Not for long," he answered, chancing a glance towards the stairs before looking back to the stuffed animal in his hands. "Goro-chan still asleep?"

Surprisingly. He's usually such a light sleeper.

At the sound of footsteps, Robin bit back whatever his response to Loki would have been. He turned expectantly towards Izumi, who carried the bag in one hand. Maybe he should have just told her which books he wanted instead of making her carry down the entire bag. Seeing as she was already down the stairs and placing the bag on the kotatsu, it was too late to tell her otherwise.

"Any preferences?" She asked, sitting back down and grabbing her own book. She flipped open the lid and Robin recognized her bookmark as the family photo he cried over earlier. He swallowed past the lump in his throat and reached towards the bag, perking up at the sight of his manga.

"Sērā Mūn!" Izumi gasped suddenly, and Robin nearly dropped the manga in his hand. "Sae loved that when she was younger and I used to watch it with her."

Robin could feel his earlier sadness ebbing away, as if the storm clouds had parted and the sun began to shine through. "Really?" He left Mr. Crow on his lap, allowing him to grab the book with both hands. "I read the first one at the library, I like it so much!"

Izumi leaned forward to slide the photo onto the kotatsu before sitting back in her chair with her novel. "We can watch the show together, if you want."

His face lit up, previous woes forgotten. "I'd love that!" He gave her a grin and immediately turned to the manga in his hands, observing the cover and the art. A different girl was displayed under the title, but her outfit was similar to the girl from the first volume's cover. Maybe they were a team and worked together to protect the moon?

"Her name is Sailor Mercury," Izumi said, looking up from her book, "You'll learn more about her when you read that volume."

"Sailor... Mercury?" The second word was hard to pronounce and, even with how odd it sounded on his tongue, Izumi failed to make fun of him. "Does she protect the moon with Sailor Moon?"

She gave him a wink. "You'll have to read to find out."

Robin accepted that as a challenge; he immediately tore into the book, ravenous in his reading, and indulged himself in the manga. Loki sighed quietly and decided to read along with Robin.

It was after finishing the fourth volume that Izumi stood up, slipped her bookmark in between her pages, and closed her book. Robin blinked up at her, surprised by her sudden actions. Loki bristled, preparing to switch if needed.

"We need to pick Makoto up from school," she said, placing her book onto the kotatsu, "your jacket is still upstairs, right?"

He nodded, remembering his earlier qualms about Izumi going out of her way to get his books. "I can go get it." He hopped to his feet, putting the completed volume back into the bag, and began to head up the stairs.

Once he was to the bedroom, he reached for the jacket and began to slip his arms into it. This jacket had been Sae's when she was younger, and it was too big on Makoto; Goro had insisted on the Niijima's not spending any more money on his clothes, and Jiro relented by finding some hand-me-down's from the girls. The jacket was gray, made of a puffy material, and reached Robin's waist when he pulled it on. This was just fine. They didn't need to burden their new family any more than they already had.

You think this is the one? Loki asked quietly, apropos of nothing.

Robin wrapped the scarf around his neck, a fuzzy shock of blue that draped over his shoulders. "I hope so."

Wouldn't it be wonderful for the Niijima's to be their forever family? Robin's thoughts seemed to constantly return to that question. None of their foster families were this attentive. Izumi looked at them like they were her entire world. Jiro ruffled their hair and said they were the son he always wanted. Sae and Makoto showed their love in completely different ways, but their intentions were as clear as day. It was early in the game to be making such a big decision but... when he was around their new family, he felt loved.

He headed down the stairs, meeting Izumi at the landing on the first floor. She held Mr. Crow out to him, a small smile on her face. "I think you forgot someone."

It was Loki who reached forward to retrieve the stuffed animal, pulling it close to their chest. Robin ducked his head down with a quiet, "thank you."

They walked to the genkan, put on their shoes, and headed out the door. Izumi held open Robin's door, waiting for him to be seated and strap on his seat belt before shutting it. Robin held onto Mr. Crow, fingers digging into its body, and watched as Izumi sat down and buckled her own seat belt. She turned on the ignition and powered the car into motion.

Robin's eyes trailed towards the car window. The sun had began to set, making way for the late afternoon sky. Darkness would settle in soon, the moon rising to claim the sun's place. He found solace in these cycles as an old comfort; toys were a rarity in the homes he grew up in, and watching the sky had become a recurring past time.

"The sun sets pretty early nowadays, doesn't it?" Izumi asked from the front seat, glancing at Robin through the rearview mirror, "less time in the day to get things done..."

He nodded. The sun did set pretty early, but there weren't many things on his daily to-do list. He had been quite busy yesterday and today, of course - but what was there to do after they got settled in their new family?

Maybe we'll go to school, Loki murmured, catching Robin's train of thought.

They had discussed this in the morning, before Loki had woken up. Goro had been anxious about whether their stay with the Niijima's was permanent, and they had been thinking about possibly attending the same school as Makoto. If they were to stay here, starting school was probably something in their future.

Robin's lips tugged into a slight frown. It was already the end of November and this would be their first year in school. Surely they would be behind. Were they even ready to socialize and meet other kids? Anxiety bubbled in his pit of his stomach at the thought.

Inokashira Park rushed by, the golden hues of the sunset reflecting against the water. The trees were barren, leaves shed within the month, and Robin's eyes lazily tracked the blurs of color. Izumi hummed along to a song only she could hear and tapped a finger against the steering wheel in tempo.

For a moment, Robin was back in the apartment Goro was raised in; his mother, sitting by his bedside, humming a lullaby. Honey brown hair shrouding her eyes, her features were fuzzy. Robin reached out to grab the memory and -

His hand met empty air, fingers brushing against the back of Izumi's seat.

Loki stayed silent, giving Robin privacy as a means of consolation. Robin brought his hand back to his lap, fingers resting on Mr. Crow's wing. His mother - Goro's mother - was gone, and nothing would be bringing her back. This was one of Goro's memories; why was Robin mourning a woman he never knew?

Izumi unbuckled her seat belt, the click snatching Robin's attention. His head shot up, and he watched the woman turn off the car and open her door before the thought of we're here came to his consciousness. He reached to unbuckle himself, pulled the lever for his door, and pushed it open. Tightening his grip on Mr. Crow, he placed the stuffed animal on his seat with a longing look. After a moment, he braced for the cold and hopped out of the car.

Once the car was locked up, Robin walked side by side with Izumi. He noticed her taking small steps to match his stride and pushed himself to walk faster. After just a few strides, his legs protested against him.

"We're early," she said, glancing down at him before returning her gaze to where she was going, "you don't need to push yourself, okay?"

Robin managed a nod. No reprimand, no scolding - just... a reminder not to hurt himself.

After a minute of walking, they arrived at the front entrance of the elementary school. Children were leaving the building, many hand-in-hand with their mother or father. There were kids with smiles on their faces, laughing and talking and skipping and -

Izumi offered out her hand - a lifeline. Robin reached his arm up and she took his hand in hers. They had both forgone gloves, considering this was meant as a quick excursion, and Robin basked in the warmth Izumi emitted. He wondered if Goro's mother had been this warm, before it all.

Loki directed their attention to a child approaching them. Makoto was running, backpack bouncing with every step. Her bob of chestnut brown hair swayed in the wind. She seemed completely undaunted by Robin holding her mother's hand. Did she notice? Did she even care?

"Mommy! Goro-chan!" She flung herself at Izumi's legs, wrapping her arms around one of them. Izumi used her free hand to give Makoto a squeeze, eliciting a giggle from the girl.

"How was school today, sweetheart?" She asked, crimson eyes on her daughter. Robin fought back the awful feeling growing in his chest. "Make any new friends?"

Makoto nodded, meeting her mom's gaze. "Yep! Two, actually!" She was bouncing on her heels, energy unable to be completely controlled.

Robin forced a smile onto his face when he said, "That's great! What are they like?"

Makoto seemed undeterred. "They're twins! Isn't that so cool?"

"That is very cool," Izumi said, "are they nice?"

Makoto nodded fervently, eyes flicking between her mother and Robin as she spoke. "Yep! Kasumi is really really pretty and good at dancing. Sumire - I just call her Sumi - is super smart and we worked on our homework together."

Robin was happy for Makoto, really. But the way Izumi looked at her... it made Robin feel sick, for some reason. His heart felt heavy and it was difficult to breathe. He shoved his free hand into his jacket pocket, balling it into a fist. Why was he feeling like this?

Want me to take over? Loki asked quietly, and Robin gave the barest of nods.

When Loki slipped into place, he was hardly surprised when he felt Robin's consciousness fade. Perhaps their co-consciousness in the library was a rare occurrence. He focused on his shoes, waiting for his eyes to adjust. Their nap had helped, but switching frequently like they had today gave him a slight headache.

He felt a small tug of his hand and his eyes slowly raised to Izumi. She had a concerned look on her face when she said, "You zoned out there. Are you ready to head home?"

Home. The word made Loki feel all tingly, like he was on cloud nine. The warmth of Izumi's hand, the expectant look on Makoto's face - jealousy wasn't necessary. Makoto was her daughter. Loki, Robin, and Goro were secondary to that.

"Goro-chan?"

Loki turned towards Makoto, blinking at her. Oh. He had gotten too caught up in his thoughts and forgot to answer Izumi. "Sorry," he mumbled, "'m ready to go."

Walking away from the school, getting into the car, and buckling himself was a blur. He shared the back seat with Makoto, her backpack sitting next to her and serving as a divide between them. She kicked her legs, the tips of her shoes barely brushing against the back of Izumi's seat, and hummed a tune Loki didn't know the name to. The radio droned on quietly, a commercial break playing rather than music. It was all white noise to his ears.

He gazed longingly out the window, the beginnings of street lamps and shop windows lighting up the way. The sun was minutes away from setting if the dark hues and beginning flecks of stars were anything to go by. He busied his hands with Mr. Crow, having picked up the stuffed animal from its spot on the seat. He couldn't wait for next month, where the streets would be lit up brighter than he had ever seen. Would Goro and Robin enjoy the lights too?

"Is something out there?" Makoto asked, leaning close to his shoulder. Her hands pressed into the middle seat, narrowly avoiding her backpack, and she seemed to be attempting to look out his window.

Loki blinked, meeting her gaze. He shook his head no before moving his eyes towards his lap. "Just looking at all the lights," he muttered, fingers squeezing the stuffed animal in his grasp.

She nodded, her bob of hair swaying with the motion. "Wait until Christmas," she said breathlessly. "The city is so pretty, all lit up like that."

Loki's lips twitched, the barest of smiles gracing his face. "Izumi-san said that too. I can't wait."

"Me either," she said, leaning back into her seat. She frowned at the sound her seat belt made, probably signalling that it had been pulled to its furthest length. With a small pout, she grabbed the belt and gave it a tug. "It's my favorite time of year. The snow is pretty and fun to play in - ooh, we can make snowmen and have snowball fights together!"

Her pout was gone, replaced with unrestrained mirth. Loki found it to be contagious, a smile growing on his own face. "I've never had a snowball fight," he admitted, and he watched as Makoto's jaw dropped.

"No way!" She gasped, as if extremely affronted. "We're gonna have one as soon as it snows!"

Loki nodded, unable to find it in himself to reject the offer. It sounded fun, and it would be the first time he played in the snow. He had the faintest memory of Goro building a small snowman with his mother, but that wasn't his.

Once again, he was seeking his own happiness. Since staying with the Niijima's, that had become a less foreign concept. Before this, everything had been for Goro. Loki never gave the idea a second thought. His purpose was protecting Goro. His happiness came from Goro being safe. He didn't need anything else.

But the idea of playing out in the snow with Makoto made his heart feel light. It was something to look forward to, compared to the dread he was used to constantly feeling. The chill of the snow against his skin, running around and laughing with Makoto after countless rounds of snowball fights – anticipation and desire mixed in his chest.

... Wanting something for himself wasn't bad, right?

His car door opened, snapping him out of his thoughts. Izumi stood outside, hand on the door, and fixed him with a small smile. The glow of the street light behind her illuminated her figure angelically. Basked in the light like this, she seemed divine.

She tilted her head slightly, a coy smile on her lips. "Want to cook with me again?"

And deciding that no, he could want things for himself, he nodded.