Responsibilities
In the back of his mind, Robert still remembered Cora's unrealistic wish that he would love her as well. But it was easier, and in some ways necessary for him to focus on his other responsibilities. He had many of them, after all.
At the moment, Robert was preparing for one of his most enjoyable responsibilities. He ran. He struck the bat. He bowled. The annual Downton Cricket game was next week, and Robert needed to do everything for the House team. Papa expected it. And there was nothing in the world better than dressing in cricket whites and feeling a bat in your hands.
Robert genuinely thought this year the House could win the game. They had two new footmen who appeared strong. Papa's valet, Carson, had always been an excellent wicket – keeper. And Robert's valet must have improved since last year. What did it matter that Wilson ran a bit slower now that he was in his sixties? The village team had plenty of older members as well.
OOOOOOOOOOOO
"Over!" the umpire called as Robert finished his sixth bowl. The village team were much better at bat than he'd expected. Robert grumbled, hating that he'd been dismissed. If only he could bowl one more time, Robert was certain he could do better. But it was Papa's turn. As the captain, Papa was able to play a bit of every position.
Robert sat down, looking across the field, from footmen, to valets, to Papa. There had to be a way for the House team to win. *
OOOOOOOOOOO
Grumbling, Robert shook his head after the game ended. "I truly thought we would win this year."
"There is always next year, son," Papa said, almost too easily, as he did after every game. Then he took Mama's arm and escorted her to the carriage.
Cora grinned as she looked at Robert. "I still think you look dashing in your cricket whites," she said as she accepted his arm. He stopped scowling at that. At least there was one good thing about the game this year.
OOOOOOOOOOOO
But even without the cricket, Robert still had many responsibilities. He and Papa continued to survey the farms, as it was almost time for harvest.
It was also almost time for Dickie's wedding, as for some reason he and Miss Sanderson had decided to wed in October. Naturally, Dickie had chosen Robert to be his best man, and Robert must perform all the duties exceptionally, just as Dickie had done when Robert married.
One of the things that Robert was expected to do was host a party for Dickie and several of their other friends from Eton. It was to be held on Saturday evening, at the large hotel in York, a week before the ceremony. Robert had invited John Darnley, his cousin James, Viscount Falmouth, Viscount Cranborne, Baron Barnard, Baron Berkeley, the Honorable Charles Stevenson, and the Honorable Richard James to attend.
OOOOOOOOO
"… And then there was the time Falmouth here came to school without a tie," Charles said, laughing as he swallowed another scotch.
Viscount Falmouth threw his head back, his blond hair flopping a bit as he did so and hooted with laughter. "I'll never forget that day! I thought the headmaster was going to have me shot!" He held out his glass for the bartended to refill.
Robert laughed as well much louder than he normally would. He drowned another scotch, feeling more relaxed than he had in a long time.
"Those were the days," Richard said with a belch.
"Hey, who says it has to end just because Dickie here is getting married?" James asked, finishing his own drink. "Cousin, you've organized some 'fun' with the ladies tonight, haven't you?"
Robert stomach squirmed as he stared into his scotch. He didn't answer. Was the party he'd organized incomplete?
James sighed and slapped Robert on the back. "Never mind; I'll take care of it. I know all the good places for girls that are eager to please. Are you ready for a night you'll never forget, Dickie?"
Dickie swallowed another drink and then nodded. "Of course."
The rest of the men cheered and chanted James' name.
Robert swallowed another drink, hoping to make himself more comfortable. He'd visited brothels with these men several times when they were at Eton together, and they'd all enjoyed it. So why was tonight different? Because you weren't married then, he reminded himself.
"Ah, perhaps you can go without me," Robert murmured as the rest of his friends all followed James.
But James clapped him on the back again. "Come on, cousin, live a little. I know you're obsessed with all your responsibilities, but wouldn't you like to forget about them for just one night?"
Robert knew he shouldn't, but with the liquor in his system, his cousin's words were far too seductive. All of his responsibilities were overwhelming sometimes. He pictured himself getting lost in the arms of some nameless blonde or brunette. It wouldn't matter if he conceived an heir or not with her. And she wouldn't let feelings get in the way.
Before he knew it, he was following the rest of his friends to the brothel.
OOOOOOOOOOOO
Downton Abbey was dark by the time the taxi arrived, and Robert knew must be after midnight. Would Cora still be awake? He hoped so, as he was desperate to see her. Speak with her. Touch her.
Dashing up the stairs, Robert couldn't believe how close he'd come to going to the brothel. Had he truly been that drunk? It had seemed to him that he'd only been a bit tipsy. He'd been already to enter the building when Cora's sweet face as she told him goodbye earlier that night flashed through his mind.
Then Robert had bolted.
He still felt almost sick at his behavior tonight in a way that had nothing to do with alcohol. His cousins's words had tempted him to behave dishonorably, telling him he wouldn't have to worry about anything for a while. But forgetting how inappropriate it was for Robert to break his marriage vows like that, how could he do that to Cora? Wouldn't being unfaithful to Cora, who loved Robert more completely than he ever thought possible, be like stabbing a knife into her tender heart?
He didn't love her, but Robert had no desire to cause her that kind of pain.
Knocking on the door of her room carefully, he then slowly opened it. To his relief, Cora's oil lamp was still lit, and she appeared to be reading. "I'm so glad you're still awake," Robert said as he stepped into the room.
"Robert!" she sounded so delighted to see him. "I thought you said you were going to stay in York for Dickie's party."
"I was going to," Robert said, stepping closer to her bed. "We had a good time, having a few drinks and exchanging stories about our younger days at Eton. But… then they others decided…" How could he even say it? "I suppose they'd drunk more than I did, but they went to… a place where girls are eager to please men." He stared at the floor as he finished that sentence, wondering if Cora even knew what he meant.
"I see," Cora's sweet voice said.
"I couldn't do that to you, Cora." Robert said with a sigh. "But I hoped maybe we could…" Did she understand how much he desired her right now? Between the alcohol in his system and the women he'd briefly thought of having, Cora's beautiful parts were flashing through his mind a mile a minute. Her breasts. Her legs. Her neck. Her lips. Everything.
Sweet laughter filled the room. "Oh, Robert, you're so good to me. I'm afraid Carter has already been dismissed, considering you had planned to spend the night in York. But if you don't mind me assisting you," she giggled as she climbed out of her bed. "We can."
Her warm lips landed on his cheek as she removed his suit coat. But Robert grew nervous as she began his oxford, despite her tingling touch. "Do you know how to remove cufflinks?" It took special skill to tend to a gentleman's clothing, something he'd never believed a lady had.
But Cora removed them expertly and set them carefully on her vanity. "I used to help my brother with his all the time." Then her fingers unbuttoned his shirt, his skin feeling warmer all the time.
Robert removed his own shoes, and Cora unbuttoned his trousers, causing his heart to beat faster.
Now he stood in only his union suit, just as she stood in a cotton nightgown. But her lips appeared full, her skin was glowing, and her eyes sparkled. "Oh Cora," he whispered softly.
He kissed her, again and again as they tumbled onto the bed, attempting to remove the rest of their clothing at the same time.
Her lips felt warm and her skin felt soft, just as it always did. Intimacy with Cora was beyond amazing, just as it always was. But this time, Robert couldn't help but notice other things as well.
Like those cute little moans, she made when he kissed under her ears. Or the absolute joy on her face when they joined. And there was the way she whispered his name, and how she gave his skin tiny kisses. Plus, she seemed to hold him rather tightly when he was on top of her. Everything she did made Robert feel like the luckiest man in England.
He'd never want to be intimate with anyone other than her. Especially when Cora grinned at him afterward and said, "That was the most terrific fun."
Only his Cora would say something like that. It was so… American, Mama would say, but Robert found it perfect.
He almost wished he didn't need to return to his own room for the night, but it was necessary.
OOOOOOOOOO
A week later, it was still necessary for Robert to serve Dickie as his best man when he married. Their friendship was as solid as ever, so Robert decided Dickie had been a bit to drunk to understand what had happened in York.
Robert knew his other friends must have been drunk too. Otherwise they would never have behaved in such an ungentlemanly way, especially those that were already married. Still, he decided to spend less time with Cousin James, considering going to the brothel had been his cousin's idea. Would the man ever consider doing such a thing again?
Robert didn't wish to know.
Although he had many duties as best man for Dickies wedding, he still had time to watch Cora. Cora, who had been especially sweet to him in the past week. Did she really think that highly of him just because he came home that night? What about how close he'd been to going to the brothel? And Cora was obviously overjoyed to see his sister again, as her eyes sparkled while she and Rosamund spoke. Could he ever find another woman as loyal to him and his family as Cora was?
No matter what the reason, Rosamund and his wife seemed to spend most of the wedding in each other's company, and he was delighted that they had become such great friends.
Cora was happy, and that was wonderful.
OOOOOOOOOOO
As the tenant farmers brought in the harvest, Downton also had the responsibility of hosting the foxhunt, which was another that Robert loved. Papa opened Eryholme House for the event, inviting Sir Timothy and John Daley, Marmaduke, Sir George, his cousin James, and a number of Papa's friends from London that Robert didn't know well.
"To the hunt!" Papa toasted, raising his glass of scotch. "And to catching the fox!"
"Here, here," the other men cheered as they swallowed their glasses quickly.
All the mounts waited for them outside and the hounds barked keenly. Robert climbed on Dundee, relishing the feeling of the horse and the honor of hosting the event.
OOOOOOOOOOOO
When the hunt finished, many of the men chose to stay for dinner, including Maramduke. Naturally, that meant Rosamund stayed as well. It seemed their marriage was going as well as Rosamund had hoped, and Robert was happy about that, although he could do without seeing so many smoldering looks between them.
"Must he do that?" Robert whispered to his sister when he caught, he brother – in – law staring at his sister inappropriately again. Marmaduke stood at the other end of the Drawing Room, speaking to Papa, but his eyes held distributing fire for his sister.
Rosamund simply smiled in a way that annoyed Robert even more. "We're happy Robert; there is nothing wrong with that. Speaking of happy marriages, I am delighted to see you and Cora are doing better than before."
Robert shrugged, uncertain what she meant. "We definitely have a solid friendship that I am proud of. Although I don't believe Mama's warning last Spring that Cora would 'grow bitter' could ever happen; Cora's not a bitter kind of person." He smiled as he thought of how optimistic and sweet his wife still was, even after months of being harassed by Mama.
Rosamund chuckled. "I agree; she isn't, but… friendship? Is that truly what you would call your relationship with her?"
Sighing, Robert wished his sister wouldn't bring this up; it made him feel so guilty. "I know she cares very deeply for me, yes. Even more deeply than she did when we married, as difficult as it is to believe. But what can I do about it?"
"You must be kidding, Robert," Rosamund said, her eyes widening a little. "You don't realize that you 'care deeply,' as you say, for her as well? What about the way I've seen you look at her? Or even the way you smiled just now when you spoke of her?"
The walls around him felt like they were closing in as he struggled to understand Rosmaund's words, and Robert hated it. "If you mean I'm attracted to her, then yes, I'm quite attracted to her; I'm supposed to be." His brain flashed to her perfect breasts, smooth skin, and kissable lips. "She's my new wife and we are expected to conceive an heir," he said, his words clipped. He hoped his sister would understand that was enough.
But of course, Rosamund never listened to such signals. Shaking her head, she said, "There is obviously a lot more to your relationship than that now, but you can't see it, because the idea that you could ever be more than 'good friends' with your wife has never entered your mind."
Robert's heart pounded as the walls closed in further. "Rosamund, this conversation is over," he said, shouting the words so everyone in the Drawing Room, including the guests, stared. He sighed and walked toward the far corner, deliberately not looking at Mama or Papa.
Mama would definitely be giving him one of her most frightening looks, and Papa would undoubtably tell him his behavior was "dishonoring Downton" to act such a way in front of their guests.
OOOOOOOOOOOO
Robert found it much easier to live up to his responsibility to Downton once Rosamund and the other guests left a couple of days later. Papa and he oversaw the harvest, and everything went well. Everything was at peace again. Osiris enjoyed their walks, the family had dinner, and Robert and Cora met at night for martial duties.
But as the harvest finally ended, Robert, noticed there was something bothering Cora again. Once again, it was little things, as his wife was far too sweet to complain about anything openly. Her smiles didn't meet her eyes anymore. She seemed to sigh a lot. One afternoon, he even found her hiding tears when he visited her in her room.
"Cora," he said softly, sitting on her bed while she wiped away more tears. "What is wrong? Is there anything I can do?"
Cora sighed once again. "No, not really. Don't worry about me, Robert." She stared at the floor. "Why are you in here, anyway?"
Standing up, Robert backed away from her. She didn't want him here. Naturally, she didn't. Cora hadn't meant anything when she'd said her room was almost his. "Sorry," he said, staring at the blue walls. "But with the harvest done, I have more free time now, and I thought… you might like some company. I'll leave now."
"No!" Cora said, her hand grabbing his arm quicker than Robert had ever believed a lady could move. "I don't mind if you want to be here."
Robert smiled, finally meeting her blue eyes. "I do." He sat back down on her bed.
For several moments, neither of them said anything, just enjoying each other's presence. But finally, Robert said, "I think you did well helping us host the hunt this year. Better than I did, anyway." He shuddered, remembering the verbal lashing Mama had given him for arguing with Rosamund in front of their guests. Papa hadn't said as much, but Robert knew he wasn't happy, either.
Cora smiled softly. "Thank you. I know how important that is to you, and to your family."
"So, I'm sorry if Mama said you did anything wrong…" Robert continued. Cora had already said there was nothing he could do to help, but he wanted to try, remembering how good it felt to help her that day she'd sobbed into his chest.
Cora sighed again. "It's just the way your mother is, Robert. There is nothing I can do about it, and I'm not upset about her right now. I'm just a little homesick. It's happened a couple of times over the past year, especially in the first months, but I'm afraid this worst one yet. Thanksgiving is coming soon, and it's an American holiday, so we won't celebrate it here. It's just difficult for me… There's nothing you can do, but I love you for trying, darling."
Nodding, Robert realized the problem had nothing to do with him. He wished she hadn't mentioned how much she loved him, but he did his best to ignore it. They both needed a distraction.
He smiled, getting an idea. "How about the time I tell you about when Osiris was a puppy, and he almost bit off his tail?"
Cora gave him a real smile. "I'd love to hear that."
OOOOOOOOOOO
In the next few days, Robert tried to tell himself he'd comforted his wife the best he could. The story about Osiris, as well as several others, allowed Cora to truly smile for the first time in days, and it was beautiful. But the flies continued to buzz in his stomach every time he told himself he'd done enough. And what made it worse was that Cora had said she'd felt homesick a couple of other times during the past year.
Did he even notice those times? Robert had a feeling he hadn't, especially if they occurred in the first couple of months of their marriage. More and more flies buzzed in his stomach.
He didn't love Cora, as Rosamund tried to tell him a couple of weeks ago. All he'd ever have with his wife was friendship, but even as a friend, having her be so wretched made him feel sick. Besides, as a proper gentleman, he had a responsibility for his wife.
What could Robert do to make her feel less homesick for this "Thanksgiving"? Certainly not ask cook to fix whatever it is Americans ate for Thanksgiving; Mama oversaw all the menus, and she would never accept such a plan.
Could he buy Thanksgiving decorations for Cora's room? He shook his head. What kind of decorations would they be and where would he find them?
OOOOOOOOOOOO
Finally, one afternoon, Robert decided to speak to the cook, Mrs. Yardley. She'd always been particularly fond of him, even allowing him to hide her pantry when he was hiding from Rosamund or Mama. If she couldn't make an entire Thanksgiving Dinner, Mrs. Yardley should be able to make something for Cora.
Carefully, Robert entered the servants' section, causing several maids and footmen to fumble as they said, "Lord Downton!" He nodded at them, hoping to be polite, but he needed to speak to Mrs. Yardley.
The kitchen was smaller than her remembered, but that was probably because he hadn't been down here since he'd left for Eton. But it still smelled of delicious bread, sugary biscuits, and heavenly spices. "Hello, Mrs. Yardley," he said, greeting one of his favorite servants with a smile.
She looked older than he remembered, as all her hair was now white, and she had several more wrinkles on her face. But her eyes were as sharp as ever, and her smile was just as warm. "Why hello ma – Lord Downton," she said. "What do I owe this pleasure?"
She seemed to be struggling to treat him as the little boy he'd once been now that he was a grown viscount. It was bittersweet; perhaps that was why Robert didn't visit her anymore. Of course, Robert also had so many other responsibilities now.
But this wasn't for him; it was for Cora.
Robert took a deep breath. "As you know, my wife is an American, and she's told me she's homesick because of their 'Thanksgiving Holiday' is approaching. I want you to make her something she would've eaten there… Do you know what they eat at Thanksgiving?"
Mrs. Yardley smiled at him. "You are a sweet boy, ma – Lord Downton, just as I always knew you were. I know they eat turkey, but I don't think Lady Grantham would allow me to serve that."
Robert nodded. "I thought as much. But can't you make something smaller… a side dish or an appetizer?"
Mrs. Yardley nodded, reminding him of the way she looked when he asked to hide in the pantry again. "I'll look in my cookbooks; there must be something available with the ingredients we already have here."
"Thank you, Mrs. Yardley."
OOOOOOOOOO
Robert would never forget the look of joy on Cora's face as the footmen served stuffing two days later. What was almost as good was the light, happy feeling that swelled in his chest as he watched her eat it.
OOOOOOOOOO
"So, you liked the stuffing?" Robert said, grinning as he walked into Cora's room that night.
"Yes," Cora said, her eyes still sparkling with joy. "Was that… your doing?" She reached for his hand as he sat on the bed next to her. "How was that even possible?"
Robert smiled, delighted at how happy he had made her. "Mrs. Yardley, the cook has always had a difficult time saying 'no' to me. I used to hide in her pantry as a boy, and she always had a box of biscuits just for me."
Cora giggled. "You must have been so cute as a boy."
Something inside Robert hardened and he moved away from her. Her comment felt disrespectful. "But I'm not a boy any longer."
"I know," she said with a sigh. "Believe me, I know."
"So, I asked Mrs. Yardley if she could find something Americans eat for Thanksgiving in one of her recipe books, made from ingredients we already had."
Cora threw both of her arms around him in a tight hug. "Thank you so much," she said, whispering the words as she gave him little kisses that felt better and better as she continued.
"Well, you're my wife," Robert said with a soft smile. "I have a responsibility to your happiness."
For some reason, she stopped kissing him when she said that, staring at him intently. But then she smiled slowly and nodded. "Thank you again."
He kissed her this time, as he was ready to perform something that Robert wasn't certain could be called a "duty" any longer. Perhaps Cora's phrase "terrific fun" might describe it better?
*I looked up information about cricket on Wikipedia, and I tried my best to portray it accurately. But if someone who knows cricket notices mistakes, feel free to tell me.