DECEMBER 11 SATURDAY

The annual yule disco was in full swing. It came to pass that Remus knew that Dumbledore wasn't in his office right now. So he left the yule disco, to sneak into Dumbledore's office, because he wanted to look at his sword collection.

He pulled out a large box of swords from a cupboard and began to to throw swords over his back.

"Sword of Gryffindor, Sword of Ravenclaw, Sword of Slytherin, butter knife of Hufflepuff..."

Dumbledore was at the pub with Flitwick and wouldn't be back for an hour at least. After ten minutes Remus could already hear someone coming.

"And you will stay here and clean the phoenix cage for the rest of the night!" said Professor McGonagall as the door went up. "That basket of beard potion you left in the girls' bathroom has put ten girls in the hospital wing! I'm not even interested in your excuses! What's going on here then?"

A pair of badger corn holders hit McGonagall's glasses. Sirius looked sour, and he was without a doubt miserable that he wasn't allowed to return to the yule disco. McGonagall saw the mess of swords. Remus began to tidy up.

"It wasn't me!"
"Ok off you go then."

"Ok it was me."
McGonagall stepped out of the office, slamming and locking the door after her. Sirius sat down at Dumbledore's desk and began to look for the acid pops.

"What was that about beard potion?" Remus asked.

Sirius threw his legs over the desk and opened the acid pops tin.

"WHEN A MAYURRRN LURVS A WOMURRRN-"
"If you think the path to McGonagall's heart is through beard potion you are REALLY lost."

"I was trying to arrange for Cas would win Hogwarts's Next Top Model. But please, Moo, tell me about the path that leads to a woman's heart. Does it involve flexible volcano spells?"

"But she's won twice! What about the surprise factor?"

"I know, but, when you're in love with a beautiful woman! It's hard!"

He found some maracas, too.

Clearly he had been successful in spiking the punch bowl.
"I didn't know you were so," Impersonate a lashing whip.

"It's not being whipped, Moo. It's: I love to love! But my baby just wants the other girls, to get a beard..."
Remus began to lay out swords on the phoenix carpet and compare them to a picture of the Breadscalibur in a book.

"Let's just pick any of them," said Sirius.

"It needs to have some very particular measurements."

"Like the Gingerbread Witch knows the exact measurements!"

"She might know the measurements."

"Grail hunters don't whip out their rulers first thing when they find Mary Magdalene's womb."

"Well of course not because they don't know that the Holy Grail is really Saint John's extra toe, like we established."

"The Philosopher's Stone is Saint John's extra toe, that's what we established."

"...Oh yeah." Now he remembered.

"Should the Gingerbread Witch decide to measure fakescalibur we can always stab her with the real one."
"At least I found a complete description of the Breadscalibur, as well as an illustration."

"Awesome why did you have to go through Dumbledore's swords?"

"Like I was curious, you never know?"

"Awesome so you got what you came for then?"

"Yep."

"Awesome let's go back to the yule disco. I hear Doctor's Orders."

They used the secret passage behind a giant bronze phoenix. Sirius brought the acid pops. He was going to put them in the punch bowl.