Disclaimer: As stated before, the characters of Supernatural do not belong to me. The lyrics to the song Ellie sings in this chapter do not belong to me either.
The song is Josie and the Pussycats "You Don't See Me", from the soundtrack to the 2001 movie Josie and the Pussycats. More information in the A/N below.
A/N: I can't believe I actually found a way to do this. Wow.
So, I've always wanted to find a way to incorporate one of my favorite movies, Josie and the Pussycats, into a Supernatural story. I did this here, and it actually works. Wow.
The butterflies had never started this early before.
It was Monday morning, five minutes before Ellie was supposed to be up, and she was studying. Again. The quickest way to get rid of a ghost. What ghosts were. Why they were there. All the things she already knew from studying them a thousand times before. All of it seemed to be jumbled in her head at the moment.
She'd spent the weekend making her family think she was confident in what she was doing. She ran through songs with Sam and ended up vetoing every single one of them. The truth, that she'd never admit to Sam, was that she'd known from the start which song she would pick and she'd only allowed him to 'help' in order to make him feel better. Ellie was a wreck. The questions running through her brain made her want to throw up. What if she messed the song up and didn't get into the school? What if she messed the hunt up and John had to rescue her somehow? A knock at her door jarred her out of her thoughts.
"Hey. You ready to go?"
Ellie smiled at Dean. "Yeah."
"You nervous?"
Ellie shrugged. "I guess. A little."
"Hey. You're gonna knock 'em dead. Okay?"
"You really think so?" Ellie asked.
"I know so. You'll be fine."
"Is Daddy still mad I volunteered him?"
Dean grinned and turned away.
"What? What are you laughing at?" Ellie asked.
"Kiddo, Dad isn't mad you volunteered him." Dean said. "He's impressed."
"No, he's not."
"I swear to you, he is. But if you tell him I said that…"
"You'll deny it. I know, I know." Ellie said. "I should get going. Daddy's waiting for me."
"Alright. Good luck."
"What are you talking about? I don't need luck." Ellie said, and with a final hug from Dean, the knot in her stomach finally untied itself.
The ride to the school was a long one, and neither Ellie or Sam had anything to say. Ellie was a little hurt that Sam hadn't said anything to her that morning, choosing instead to leave the house early. Just as she and John pulled into the school parking lot, John surprised her with a note.
"Sam asked me to give this to you."
"Why didn't he give it to me himself?"
"Just read it and find out." John answered.
Ellie frowned. John was still in a bad mood. She opened the note and suddenly forgot about all her nervousness. As only her brother could do, three little words made her burst out laughing. The note simply read fix an arm.
"Fix an arm?" John asked.
Ellie nodded, folded up the note, and explained, "Opposite of break a leg."
As the two of them headed inside, John wondered how many other things Sam and Ellie held special between them that he had no idea about. He wondered how many times the two of them had been forced to comfort each other because he had fallen down on the job as their father. He didn't have much time to worry about it. The school secretary was a nice enough older woman who led John and Ellie back towards the principal's office.
"Mr. McCoy?" The principal asked, standing up to shake John's hand.
"Yes, sir."
"Well, hi there. I'm principal Adams, and this young lady here must be Josephine."
"Hi." Ellie said.
"You two have a seat right there. Josephine, you can just move those papers onto my desk, sweetheart. Do you have a nickname you prefer?" Principal Adams asked as he shut the door behind them.
"Josie." Ellie said.
"Okay, Josie. It's nice to meet you. Let's get down to business." The second the door was shut, Principal Adams' entire demeanor changed. "Okay. Here's the deal. I know you two are John and Ellie Winchester."
"W…What…" Ellie started to stutter.
"Relax. Caleb's a friend of mine." Principal Adams said. "I'm the one that asked him to come."
"Oh." Ellie looked at her father, who seemed just as surprised as she was. "Why didn't he tell us that?"
"I asked him not to."
"Well, now that we can talk a little more clearly," John asked, "what can you tell us about this ghost?"
"Not much." Principal Adams answered. "All I know is that she appears in the hallway, and when a student tries to approach her, she disappears."
"Has she hurt anyone?" Ellie asked.
"No. So far she's just spooked them."
"Alright. We'll get to work right away." John assured him.
"Not so fast. I was able to get Ellie a spot here, but she still needs to audition to secure it."
"When is that?"
"Right now if you're ready. You just need to follow me to the auditorium. John, you can head to the gym if you want. You won't actually have any classes while you're here. I'll just tell everyone your class doesn't start until next term. That should give you plenty of time to look around."
"Um, Principal Adams, is it okay if my dad comes and watches my audition?" Ellie asked.
John started to object, saying that they needed to get to work right away, but Ellie wasn't even looking at him. It was only then that he realized he'd never heard her sing before. Of course, he'd heard little things-Ellie singing in the shower, humming to herself, even singing to her brothers when they were sick or injured to make them feel better. John's conscience, that niggling little voice in his head, got the best of him again.
Don't pass this up.
Principal Adams simply shrugged. "It's okay with me. If your dad wants to go, he certainly can."
"Um, sure. Yeah. I'll go."
John took note of how Ellie's face lit up when he promised to be there. For a moment, she forgot about the fact that they were on a hunt. Or maybe she didn't. But for the first time in what felt to John like a long time, Ellie wrapped him a tight hug.
"You guys can follow me."
Ten minutes later, Ellie was situated in a large auditorium. The butterflies were back full force. Principal Adams was talking to a table of three people, seated a few feet away, and John was seated at the end of the first row. Ellie took a breath and let it out slowly, took a breath and let it out slowly, took a third breath and let it slowly. Her heart finally stopped pounding, and Ellie was able to focus. Just enough to make it through, at least. Principal Adams began making his introductions.
"Okay, Josie. This here on my right is Miss Jacobs. She's our music director. Next to her is Mr. Peters, our admissions director, and next to him is Mr. Yellin, our drama department director."
"Hi." Ellie waved from the stage.
All three nodded from the table, and Principal Adams took his seat.
"After your audition, we're going to discuss this. You need a yes vote from three of us to make it. If there's a tie, we'll give you a second chance tomorrow. Any questions?"
"No sir. I understand."
"All right. Whenever you're ready." Principal Adams said. "Do you play any instruments or have any music with you?"
"I, um, was planning to sing a capella. Is that okay?"
"That's a brave choice, dear." Miss Jacobs said. "One I applaud you for. No matter how this turns out."
"I agree." Mr. Peters said, while Mr. Yellin nodded in agreement.
Ellie nodded. "Okay. I'm just gonna take a second."
"Take your time." Principal Adams encouraged.
One more deep breath in, letting in out slowly…and Ellie closed her eyes. She couldn't look towards John, or she was afraid she'd chicken out. She'd picked this song especially for him, in the hopes that he'd realize she was singing it to him when the time came. Ellie pictured the music in her head and started.
"This is the place where I sit.
This is the part where I love you too much.
Is this as hard as it gets?
'Cause I'm getting tired of pretending I'm tough.
I'm here if you want me.
I'm yours, you can hold me.
I'm empty and achin'.
I'm tumblin', I'm breakin'.
'Cause you don't see me.
And you don't need me.
And you don't love me
The way I wish you would.
The way I know you could."
Had Ellie's eyes been opened, she would have seen the mouths of every adult in the room wide open. Everyone that sat at the table for her audition had been a part of the faculty since the school opened. Ellie's voice was beautiful, there was no doubt about that. But they had all heard beautiful voices before. Ellie's was special. The emotion behind it was powerful. She was singing from the heart. She wasn't just singing a song to impress them, she was speaking to someone. Trying to get them to understand that she felt lonely, unloved, and scared.
John knew exactly who Ellie was talking to. And Ellie wasn't the only one. It had been a long time since John could truly feel Mary's presence with him, but now he felt it with the force of a nuke. John was afraid to look anywhere but down, for fear that he'd see Mary scowling at him in anger. Or worse, he'd see her crying in sadness. You hurt my baby, John. You hurt her. John took the same deep breath that Ellie had so he could continue listening to her.
He just hoped that the pounding in his heart wouldn't suffocate him in the process.
"I wish I was lonely,
Instead of just only crystal and see-through and not enough to you.
'Cause you don't see me.
And you don't need me.
And you don't love me
The way I wish you would.
Cause you don't see me.
And you don't need me.
And you don't love me
The way I wish you would.
The way I know you could."
Ellie opened her eyes and felt the familiar rush of relief that followed every time she performed for other people. It hadn't happened often, but it had a few times. She'd sung at two talent shows, one that her father knew about and one that he didn't. She'd sung for Bobby many times when he was trying to keep her entertained. Her voice always seemed to make Sam feel better when he'd fought with John, and Dean usually requested her voice when she was sick.
Ellie snuck a look at her father. As was usual, he seemed to be angry. He wouldn't look at her, and he kept his eyes cast downwards. Ellie tried not to weep. She'd put her heart and soul into her performance. She didn't want to make John feel bad, she just wanted to get through to him. With much more effort than she thought she'd be able to muster, Ellie looked towards her judges. None of them had spoken yet.
Had she truly done that badly?
"Young lady," Mr. Yellin began, after almost ten seconds of nerve-wracking silence, "this school has been here for nearly twenty-five years. The rest of the table can correct me if I'm wrong here, but I think I can safely say that this is the easiest admissions decision we've ever made."
"I certainly agree with that." Miss Jacobs said.
"Here, here." Mr. Peters agreed.
"Well, that settles that." Principal Adams agreed. "Welcome to Ritzell Academy, Miss McCoy."
Ellie laughed in relief. "Thanks."
"Go back to the office and the secretary will get you settled in classes, okay?"
"Yes, sir." Ellie said. She finally looked back to John, who seemed to be fuming. "Could I have a minute with my father first?"
"Sure. Mr. McCoy, how about you meet me back in my office in say, five minutes? I've got some final paperwork for you to sign."
"I'll be there." John promised.
After introducing himself formally to the other three judges, and everyone had left, John and Ellie were alone for the first time in weeks. Ellie took ten cautious steps towards John, prepared for him to deliver an order. Go to the office. Get to work. We don't have time for this. Instead, what he had to say astounded Ellie.
"That was beautiful, Elle Belle."
"Really?" Ellie asked.
"Really." John said. He shifted in his seat awkwardly, then stood up and ran a hand through his hair. "I know we need to talk…."
"Not now. After the job's over." Ellie said. "I asked Caleb to find a place for you here because I want us to work together. I thought that, maybe, you'd want the same thing. Was I wrong?"
"No. No, you're not wrong." John assured her. He wanted to apologize, but it wasn't the time. "Come on. Go on to the office. Let's get this ghost back where it goes, okay?"
"Yes, sir."
As Ellie walked away, John couldn't help but think that maybe, just maybe, Mary was there with them. Give us a hand here, baby.