Chapter 10

Mac got out of the hospital the next day. He took a cab home since everyone was busy. He remembered that his luggage was still in Don Flack's car unless he had taken it to his office. He thought he might as well go to the office now. He was feeling pretty good. He didn't see any reason why he couldn't go in. He took a shower so he wouldn't smell like the hospital and got dressed in jeans and a sweater. He didn't want to dress up today. He put his leather jacket on and went to the office.

When Mac came into the precinct, Don was surprised to see him. "Hey, Mac, I didn't think you were coming in today," Don said.

"Might as well be here as sitting in my apartment doing nothing," Mac said. "What did you do with my luggage?"

"It's still in my trunk. You need to get it out before it becomes evidence."

"Very funny. Bring it up to my office, will ya?"

"Sure. I don't mind being the bell boy."

Mac shook his head. "I can see you must be having a boring day."

"So boring, you wouldn't believe it. Nobody has even robbed anybody today. Nobody got drunk last night, and nobody even disturbed the peace."

"Sounds good to me."

Mac went to the elevator and up to the lab. "Hey, Mac," Danny said when Mac came out of the elevator. "How are ya?"

"Much better, thanks," Mac said.

"Not much going on this morning."

"I'll work on paperwork."

Danny followed Mac to his office. "You know what happened yesterday?" Danny asked.

"What?" Mac asked.

"Lindsey got mad at me. You know why?"

Mac looked at Danny. "I don't get into people's marital problems."

"It's not a marital problem," Danny said. "She's just mad at me because I forgot that yesterday was the anniversary of the day that she told me she was pregnant."

Mac stared at him a moment. "I don't want to hear this," he said.

"Mac, what am I supposed to do? I can't remember all this stuff."

Mac was glad Claire had never expected him to remember every little thing. "Just tell her you were working on a case and it slipped your mind," he said.

"I did tell her that. She said, well, I was working on the case too, and I remembered. I can't win."

Mac leaned on his hand and looked at Danny. "Just get her some roses, maybe even a diamond."

"A diamond? You expect me to afford a diamond when we have a child that goes through clothes like they're rags?"

Mac almost laughed. He tried to keep his face composed. "Well, get her some roses then," he said. "Take her to dinner."

Danny thought a moment. "Nah, it'll never work," he said. "She'll know I'm just trying to get out of the doghouse."

"Well, you know her better than I do. Why do you think I can help?"

"Because you're older. You've been married before."

Mac gave him an inquisitive look. "I'm not that old, and besides, I was gone a lot. When I was home we were too busy…" Mac paused a moment. "We didn't fight when I was home. Our time together was too precious."

Danny stared at Mac with an amused look. "Are you saying we spend too much time together?" he asked.

Mac shook his head. "No, but why spend your time fighting?" he asked. "You never know what can happen tomorrow."

Danny became serious. "Right," he said. "I already told her I was sorry. What am I supposed to do? Beg?"

"Well, act like you care about how she feels about it. Don't act like it doesn't matter."

"So, you're saying I'm insensitive."

"I didn't say that."

"But that's what you think."

"Okay, so stop being an insensitive pig and make up."

Danny put his hands on his hips. "Hey, I'm sensitive," he said.

"There is no answer for this," Mac said. "Just do something to let her know you love her and that you care about her feelings."

Danny scratched his chin. "I guess I could say something about the night Lucy was conceived."

Mac rolled his eyes. "I don't want to know about it."

"We were…"

"Danny, I don't want to know. Tell her."

"Right."

Danny left the office. Mac leaned back in his chair. He thought of Amanda. What if they got in an argument? What would he do? Could they work out their differences? He thought it was a good question. They had not argued about anything yet, but then again, they had not been together long. He supposed if they stayed together long enough, they would eventually disagree about something. He figured it might be her family, but she didn't seem to be very close with them except her sister, Jennifer. Mac thought everyone should be close to their family if they had a good family. He thought that was important. Would she really not be upset if they married and her mother disowned her? How could a mother be so cruel? She should want her daughter to be happy. Mac wondered if he could make Amanda happy.

Just then, Mac saw Lindsey coming out of the lab, and she turned toward his office. She wasn't looking very happy. She came into the office and folded her arms. "Did you tell Danny that I am being ridiculous?" she asked.

"No, I did not," Mac said. "Where did you get that idea?"

"He said you told him to act like he cares about how I feel. I would rather he would be honest! If he doesn't care, he shouldn't pretend he does."

"Now, hold on. I didn't tell him that it didn't matter."

"But you think he should pretend to care about my feelings about something even if he thinks it's ridiculous! You think it's ridiculous for me to think he should remember something?"

Mac stared at her a moment. "I told him to stop being insensitive and make up."

"But you think I'm being ridiculous."

Mac leaned on his desk and looked at her. "You wanta know the truth?" he asked.

"Of course."

"Yeah, I think it's ridiculous to try to remember every little thing."

"Who asked you?!" Lindsey turned and stormed out of the office.

Mac rolled his eyes. He didn't like getting involved in other people's troubles. Now, she was mad at him too. He hoped Amanda didn't expect him to remember everything. He had too much on his mind to remember everything. He looked and saw Danny coming toward the office again. Mac rubbed his face. What had he gotten himself into? Not only was Danny coming, but Lindsey was right behind him. They both came into the office. "Hold it right now!" Mac said. "I am not in this squabble. You two need to get this straightened out. How do you think you're going to work on a case if one comes in?"

"You got in it," Lindsey declared. "Now, he thinks I'm being oversensitive."

"I do not!" Danny argued. "I never said that! You are putting words in my mouth."

"Well, somebody besides Mac should!"

Mac stared at her. "Hold on," he said. "He came in here and asked me what he should do to make up to you. I don't know."

Lindsey glared at Mac. "You think women are too emotional?" she asked.

"I didn't say that," Mac said.

"See?" Danny asked. "She even tries to put words in your mouth."

Mac stood up. "This needs to end now," he said, with his commanding voice. "I've tried to be understanding, but this is a workplace, not a family squabble unit."

"So, you just expect us to put our feelings aside and act like nothing happened," Lindsey said.

"I didn't say that," Mac said. "Work is not the place to fight."

Lindsey folded her arms. "It wouldn't be a fight if he didn't act like my feelings don't matter," she said.

"I didn't say your feelings don't matter," Danny said.

"But he told you to 'act' like you care about what I think."

"That is not what I meant," Mac said.

"Well, what 'did' you mean?"

"I meant that he should be more sensitive and 'show' you that he cares about your feelings. You know he cares about your feelings."

Lindsey stared at Mac a moment. Then she looked at Danny. "Do you really care?" she asked.

"Or course I do," Danny said. "I was just telling Mac a while ago that I remembered the night Lucy was conceived."

Lindsey smiled. "Do you?" she asked.

"Of course. We were…"

"Hold it," Mac said. "Why don't you two just take the morning off, be on call, and resolve this?"

"Mac's afraid I might say we had sex," Danny said as though he were whispering it to Lindsey.

Mac stared at him. "Will you just get out of my office?" he asked.

"Well, you know we did."

"I don't care. You can hang from the chandeliers, but I don't want to know about it."

Danny and Lindsey both laughed. They kissed each other. "I'm sorry," Lindsey said. "I shouldn't have gotten mad. We've had a lot of pressure on us with that case the last few days."

"I wish I had remembered," Danny said. "I love you anyway, though."

"I know and I love you."

They kissed again. "Hey, why don't we go and hang from the chandeliers?" Danny whispered, just loud enough that Mac could hear.

Mac rolled his eyes. "Get out," he said.

They both laughed and left the office arm in arm. Mac watched them go to the elevator. He was glad that was over. He smiled as he thought of how angry Lindsey was even at him. He didn't think he had ever seen her that angry. He sat down at his desk and started to work on his paperwork again. He realized he was the only one in the lab now, unless Adam was in the computer lab. It was a slow day.

Soon, Mac heard the elevator beep and saw Don coming with his luggage. He brought it into the office. "Here you go, Mac," Don said.

"Thanks," Mac replied. "Just hang the garment bag on the coat rack there."

Don hung the garment bag up and put the suitcase beside the couch. Then he sat down. "So, how was Georgia?" he asked.

"Cold." Mac was still working on his paperwork. "It snowed a little while I was there. It snowed in those mountains."

"How was the town?"

"Not too big, but not to small either."

"I've never been to Georgia."

"I had been to Atlanta before."

Don leaned back on the couch. "I still haven't gotten any calls," he said.

"Good," Mac said. "Maybe everybody is worn out from the holidays and they don't want to run from the police so they're staying out of trouble."

"Mac, can I ask you a question?"

Mac looked at him, hearing the serious tone in his voice. "Of course," he said.

"When you lose somebody you love, can you ever love anyone like that again?" Don asked.

Mac laid his pen down. "I don't really know," he said. "I think that the one you loved will always be in the back of your mind."

"She's not coming back. I find myself thinking I'm caught in a nightmare and I'm going to wake up, and she'll be lying there beside me."

Mac sighed. He knew all about all those feelings. He thought of Amanda. He loved her already, but he didn't know if it was like the love he had for Claire. He always had that thought in the back of his mind. He always wondered if it would work if he didn't love her the way he loved Claire. "I really can't answer that question," he said. "All I know is, you can't compare others with her, because there will never be anyone else like her."

"Why did it happen, Mac?" Don asked. "Why didn't I just go there instead of going to deliver those papers to Terrence? I could have done that anytime."

Mac looked at him. "Why didn't I take the morning off like Claire wanted me to so we could go off and spend that beautiful day together?" he asked.

Don stared at him. "Does the guilt ever go away?"

"I don't know. I haven't made it to that point yet if it does."

Don rubbed his eyes. "It takes me over sometimes, Mac," he said. "I want to just stay here and work all the time so I don't have to go to sleep and dream about it."

Mac swallowed. How many times had he done the same thing? "We can't change the past, Don," he said. "We have to think of how they would want us to be. They wouldn't want us to be miserable."

"I know, but she was what made me happy."

"I know."

Don knew it must have been even worse for Mac. He was married to Claire for a long time. He had not been dating Jess all that long, but he loved her anyway. Don stood up. "I'm sorry for unloading on you like that," he said.

"That's alright," Mac said. "We all need to talk once in a while."

Don nodded. "Thanks." He went to the elevator.

Mac leaned on his hands. He didn't think it ever went away. His heart still ached for Claire. He could still hear her laugh and he could almost smell her perfume. He blew out a breath. He didn't want to think about this. He looked at the paperwork that he had left. It wasn't much. It was almost lunchtime. He could finish the paperwork when he came back.

Mac called Amanda while he put his jacket on. "Hello," she answered.

"Amanda, do you want to go to lunch?" Mac asked.

"I can't, darling. I have to eat in today. I have a big meeting to prepare for tomorrow."

Mac frowned. He was disappointed. "Okay," he said.

"Why don't you bring something here and eat with me?"

"Can I?"

"Of course."

"Great. I will. I'll be there soon."

"I'll be waiting for you."

Mac ended the call. He felt better that he would get to see Amanda. He went out and got a cab to the deli and picked up some lunch and then went to Amanda's workplace. He had to go up to the fifth floor where the firm was that she worked for. When Mac came out of the elevator, Amanda was waiting for him. She smiled and hugged Mac and kissed him. "When did you get out of the hospital?" she asked, as she hugged his arm and they walked to the break room. "I'm sorry I couldn't pick you up."

"That's alright," Mac said. "I've been at the office."

"Are you feeling okay?"

"Yes. I feel pretty good. Not one-hundred percent, but okay."

They sat down at a table in the break room. There were four other women and two men in the break room. Two of the women came over and sat down with Mac and Amanda. "Hi," one of them said. "I'm Julie. You must be Mac."

Mac looked at Amanda. "Yeah, that's me," he said.

Amanda smiled. "What?" she asked. "Did you think I would keep you a secret?"

"Good luck," Julie said. "Where on earth did you find him?"

"I told you where I found him."

The other woman laughed. "Oh, yeah, she found him in the interrogation room," she said. She looked at Mac with big, blue eyes. "I'm Cassie."

"Nice to meet you both," Mac said. He looked at Amanda again. He wondered what she had been telling these women.

Amanda took a bite of her salad. "I couldn't keep you a secret if I tried," she said.

Mac took a bite of his sandwich. He was afraid he couldn't say the same thing. The others at the office knew he was dating her…he thought, but he didn't talk about it. He looked at the other two women who smiled at him.

"So you're a detective," Julie said. "What's that like?"

Mac considered that. "Well, it's stressful sometimes and frustrating, annoying, but rewarding when you get that person off the street."

Cassie leaned on her hand. "Do you ever get in fights?" she asked.

"Sometimes."

"Do you always win?" Julie asked.

Mac chuckled. "Well, I try to."

"Okay, you two," Amanda said. "I won't get to see him much today."

"Oh, come on," Cassie said.

"No. We'll talk later."

Cassie and Julie got up to move. "Nice to finally meet you," Julie said with a smile.

"You too," Mac said.

Julie and Cassie went to another table, but they were smiling and talking as they looked toward Mac. Mac looked at Amanda. "Just what have you been telling them?" he asked.

Amanda smiled. "Wouldn't you like to know?" she asked and took another bite of her salad. She gave him her most alluring look. "It was all true."

Mac took another bite of his sandwich. "It seems that they know a lot more about me than I know about them," he said.

"What do you want to know? They're my friends."

Mac wondered what women said about their men. He didn't know, but he figured they were as bad about talking about men as men were about talking about them. "So, if I talk about you around the lab, it won't bother you?" he asked.

Amanda smiled. "You better not say too much."

Mac raised his eyebrows. "And what do you say?"

"That's woman talk."

Mac laughed. "I think you women are just as bad as us men."

Amanda laughed. "We might be worse."

Mac shook his head. "You talk about our anatomy?"

"Do you talk about ours?"

"Well, I have to admit in my younger days I did my share of observation."

"You don't observe anymore?"

"Of course. I'm not blind, but I kinda keep it to myself."

"You're so shy."

"No, I'm not."

Amanda's mouth dropped open. "Oh, yes, you are."

"So?"

"I like it."

Mac leaned on the table. "Why?"

Amanda leaned toward him. "Because you don't act like you're God's gift to women."

Mac smiled. "I don't think that."

"I know. As handsome and alluring as you are, you're still shy."

"Come on. You're just trying to make me blush."

Amanda looked at her watch. "I only have thirty minutes today," she said. "I guess I better eat."

Mac leaned back in his chair and started eating again. "For a while, I wondered if I would ever enjoy another meal," he said.

"You poor thing."

"I guess I better be more careful about seafood."

"How can you tell if it isn't properly cooked or if it's contaminated?"

"I don't know. I think if it's properly cooked, it will kill the contamination."

They ate in silence for a moment. "You don't have any cases today?" Amanda asked.

"No," Mac answered. "I'm glad. After that last one, I think the city needs a rest."

When they were done eating, Amanda led Mac into her office and closed the door. She pushed him against the wall and gave him a passionate kiss. Mac jumped as she squeezed his behind. "Hey," he said. "You're getting aggressive, aren't you?"

"I just wanted to see if it's as firm as it looks," Amanda whispered. "I need something to tell the girls, you know."

"You're going to tell them that?"

Amanda smiled and kissed him again. Just then, someone knocked on the door. "Yes?" Amanda said.

"I need these plans approved," Julie said from outside the door.

"Just a minute. I'm still making out."

Mac heard Julie laughing. He looked at Amanda, who laughed too. "I think I'm going back to my office," Mac said.

Amanda kissed him again. "It's just office chatter," she said.

"Am I the subject of all the office gossip?"

"Some of the time. You're all I have to talk about."

Mac rubbed her hair back and kissed her again. "Just don't talk too much," he whispered. "Now, let me get out of here before your boss gets wind that I'm here."

Amanda followed Mac to the elevator. "I'll see you later," she said.

"I'll call you later," Mac said, as he went into the elevator.

"Bye."

Amanda smiled at Mac as the elevator doors closed. He sighed when the doors were closed. He couldn't believe he was the subject of that office. He wondered what all they talked about, then again, he didn't think he wanted to know. He was glad Amanda was happy. She made him feel happy too.