More tissues.

I'm waiting just as much as she is. I had been hoping that Soul would show up, wouldn't leave whatever had happened to us for tomorrow but… he isn't coming. It's just me and her - well, and Kid, Liz, and Patty - and while I'm thankful they're filling her up with every memory they have of me and him, I'm not sure it's as soothing as they think it is. She's storming just as much as I am but I guess she has a better poker-face.

Soul, come get me. Not just her, but me too because I can't stand this anymore.

Soul attempted something close to sleep on Kim's couch. It wasn't the nightmare, mostly because he didn't have a hope in the world of getting that deep into sleep, but that dangerously fresh memory that kept his eyes mostly blinking at the ceiling. He could count on one hand how many times he had allowed a fantasy like that come to his mind. Every time it started, he would remind himself: That's how I lose her. Because there wasn't an ice cream's chance in hell that Soul Evans would ever be able to love her right.

"And losing her," he muttered up into the darkness. "I can't."

Except the more his mind glanced over it, even if he tried to shut that door that new feeling called frantically to him. It was a buzz threatening to overpower the beat of his heart. It was a feather-light flutter in the muscles of his chest. For once, it was Soul Evans wanting something so desperately that he couldn't bury it under layers of excuses or pour over the concrete of past grievances to lock it away. Maka had kissed him, and to know what that felt like was to finally have a name for all of those little moments that had ever passed between them. When his hand wanted to linger on her skin, or when he wasn't able to pull his stare away from hers.

There had been thousands of threatening seconds that had toed the line, but now he was over, into a space where desiring her almost seemed possible. Even worse, a weak voice was starting to whisper at the edges. Because Kid was right - maybe she doesn't always think but she never does anything unless it's what's in her heart. For that, she'll risk everything.

Liz wanted to embrace some kind of modicum of joy at the sight of Soul with what looked like at least an ounce of surety on his face. The only issue came with the fact she was still entirely fuming, ready to shake that dandelion head of his into oblivion for actually leaving Maka with them the entire night. She swore as the hours ticked closer to 1 AM that he was going to swoop in with some sweet, romantic - albeit last fucking minute - gesture that would bring the two of them back together. Instead, he'd slept on Kim's couch- Kim's fucking couch.

She was hopeful that was the clear message she was burning into the back of that stupid white head.

"I got the name." Soul managed to puff out his chest minutely at the victory. "And I want you to do somethin' about it," he continued as he turned to Black Star. "I-" he cut himself off with a quick glance at Maka, "We can't do anything about it, so I'm asking you to."

"Fuck yeah," Black Star instantly catapulted into Soul and the other boy just barely caught him. "Leave it to me! Asshole won't even know what hit 'em!"

"Um, are we forgetting the obvious question here?" Liz barked. "How?"

Soul gave a roll of his shoulders before lobbing a lazy smirk at Liz. "Made a deal, that's all."

"What kind of deal?" Maka stole the words out of half the mouths in the room as she charged into his and Black Star's embrace, dissolving it immediately with the narrowing of her eyes and quick grasp of his shirt.

"Hey," Soul tried to untangle her fist but she knocked it to his chest instead.

"What kind of deal did you make for me?"

"Nothin' bad," he tried to urge back but her eyes spelled out clear skepticism. "Kim," Soul pleaded over Maka's head.

"Well, I guess not bad," Kim sighed. "It's… Gardening?"

Maka jerked her head back to Kim, letting those incredulous eyebrows bore into her while her hand still threatened to wring Soul's neck. "What?"

"Mabaa said he has to garden for a year…" Kim laughed weakly. "I mean… I always thought maybe she was going a little senile, so… it could actually just be gardening."

"Or it could be-" Maka started but stopped with a sigh before turning her eyes back to Soul. "Why? Why do you have to do this? Why does it have to be you? Why can't I-?"

"Hey." His hands forcefully pried her fingers so he could hold them, doing his best to produce a smirk while inside his guts were flipping because it was there, that need finding the mirror of the moment with her closeness. "Didn't say you were off the hook. You're helpin' me weed whether you like it or not."

"You idiot," she murmured.

He chuckled dryly, "Yeah, Maka, for you I'll always be an idiot." His laugh didn't last long as her cheeks pinked and his quickly caught fire, his brain finally catching up with his mouth and his implications. Yeah, a fool for love. Clearing his throat came as a strangle and he quickly turned his gaze to Black Star again. "One thing though… You gotta make sure you find out why."

"I'm the dark assassin: I don't give people warning!" Black Star huffed.

"Black Star," Tsubaki sighed.

"You were right: it's fishy," Soul took one of his hands from Maka and steadied it on Black Star's shoulder. "I know Maka and I aren't everyone's favorites but… I don't recognize that name and I need to know why they'd hurt Maka like this - choose Maka."

"But," Patty piped, "don't you get that it's both of you?"

"Huh?" Soul spun his head the other way to raise an eyebrow at the younger Thompson sister.

But it was Maka's voice that filled the void as she squeezed his hand. "It hurt you just as much as it hurt me, didn't it? Actually, I think it hurts you more."

Soul was about to object before Kid cleared his throat behind him. "Soul," it wasn't a soft warning.

The smirk shriveled from his lips as he sent begging eyes back to Maka. If I say it, what will you do? If I say it, what's going to be that look in your eyes, and how the fuck am I going to be able to stand it? He tried to ignore the sets of eyes and dipped his head just enough that the whisper just barely hit her let alone anyone else. "It's been hell, Maka. I need you to remember me."

Her fingers clenched quickly, gripping him as her breath caught in her throat. There was nowhere for her to run and the burning in her cheeks was blaring a steady embarrassment in her heart. The imprisoned Maka flinched along with her and felt a new surge of jealousy as the memoryless Maka pressed her face into his shirt to hide.

"So," Soul squeezed out of his throat as he lifted his head, trying to ignore the color he knew was drifting on his own face. "Tsubaki, I'd appreciate it if you kept Black Star from killin' 'em right away."

"Kilik, I'd like you to go along as well," Kid cut in over Black Star's background griping.

"Cool," Kilik grinned as he jutted a chin towards Soul. "Don't worry, man, I got you."

"Yeah, I know you won't let us down," Soul let some of the life come back to his grin.

"The four of you start the recon," Kid waved them off before turning his view back to Soul. "And the two of you are excused for today. Take Maka home."

"You ready?" Soul murmured down to a Maka still entirely lost in his shirt.

She finally lifted her head, green eyes searching his face. "Are you?"

"Yeah, Maka," Soul still searched for air to fill the next words. "Let's go home."

Each step home came with the trapped Maka feeding the same mantra: Do not kiss him again. Don't. Please. Let the next one be mine, please. Don't!

In a way, it was an echo of Soul's own thoughts as they raced through what he'd managed to shape together after a night on Kim's couch. His heart was trembling off-beat in his chest, each pulse jittering with another panicked thought. By the time they'd reached home, he wasn't sure he could even suck in enough air to produce the words but as he closed the door, Maka pausing and staring at him in the hallway, he let the first whisper out, "You held my hand six months in."

She bit into her lip.

"I… it was somethin' we did when we were scared. When we needed each other." He desperately wanted to drop his eyes but she held on to them tight with a steady stare. "Hugging took a while for me to get used to. The first time you did it, I know I was stiff as a fucking board," he scoffed at himself to finish, a self-deprecating smile tainting his lips. "I'm just lucky you didn't take that as me hatin' it because- it's the fucking opposite."

Soul took a step forward, putting a trembling hand between them that she took and offered her other to make a pair. With the connection, he was able to suck in another breath. "You never balked at sleepin' in the same bed on missions- I was your partner and, honestly, after a long day a bed is a bed but… dunno maybe year two or three, when I'd wake up from a nightmare I'd find you there like you heard me callin' in my sleep. We didn't talk about it, but you'd slip into bed with me and put your hand right on my chest and…"

He ran his thumbs over her knuckles before lifting one of her hands to let it rest on his chest. "Those nights-" A raw laugh ached as it shuddered from his throat as the painful sting of tears hit his eyes. "I don't know how I lived without them before. Every step we took- we take, makes me sure I can't go back and that's why it hurt so much that you did. You forgot everything that we were, made me live without it, and I hated it."

As the wet gasp caught between his teeth she tried to move closer but he stopped her with a hand to her shoulder. "Kissing me," he whispered mournfully, "is the same thing. I didn't know I wanted it until you did it, but-" His grip tightened in her shoulder as his eyes had to fall away, concentrating on the fingers now digging into his chest as if they were holding his heart together. "I need you not to for right now."

"What?" The word trembled off Maka's lips as it was ripped from her heart.

"I swear," he gritted a painful breath between his teeth. "When you get your memory back if you don't remember it I'll tell you what happened and we can talk but I can't- I know I can't let you kiss me again if there's a chance you can take it all away from me." He felt the churn in his gut halfway between possessive and passionate, stuck on a sick merry-go-round of loathing himself and loving her that he so often revolved around. "Just one- one kiss maybe I can forget, make excuses for but more than that? I can't."

In the silence, two hearts thundered until Maka broke with a long, low sigh. "I'm sorry." She pressed through the now weak hold on her shoulder to wrap her arms around his waist and bring him close. "I'm so sorry."

Soul was crushed under the weight of it all but managed to whisper, "You didn't know. I don't blame you."

"I didn't think you did, just…" She sighed hotly against his chest. "I should have known."

"Didn't tell you until now," he murmured. "And before… well, not like I ever told you anything. You're just so damn smart you figure just about everything out on your own." A pathetic attempt at a chuckle played across his lips. "You were always so damn stubborn too so… prying things from me came sorta easy."

"Then there's one more thing I want to be stubborn about." She slipped away from him achingly slow so she could stare up at him. "If… just in case this doesn't work, I don't go back, promise me we'll talk about this again."

That was the last crack of the dam, his eyes flooding and making Maka nothing more than a blur.