Chapter 19- The days in town
The Gardiners returned to town that week. Elizabeth received a letter from her aunt inviting them for dinner. She was not sure whether her husband would accept the invitation. She was surprised when Darcy agreed.
Darcy had respect for her uncle and aunt. He found them to be well mannered and sensible. He had no intention of keeping his wife away from her relatives. He saw the look of surprise on Elizabeth's face when he agreed to dine with them.
She thinks I want to keep her away from her people. Why should I? They left to her aunt's house the next day.
Elizabeth and Darcy got used to the ritual of staring outside the window during their short carriage rides. I cannot stare outside all the time during our travel to Derbyshire next week. She thought.
Darcy glanced at his wife. He found her elegant blue gown appealing. He had never observed any woman so keenly ever before. He was confused at why he wanted to look at her often when it was evident that he detested her deep within. He cleared his throat.
"Would you like to buy something for your cousins? We could stop on the way."
Elizabeth was surprised at his thoughtfulness.
"Yes! Thank you."
She was very fond of her cousins. The Gardiners had three children. Two girls and a boy. Darcy watched his wife select some toys for them. She selected a pretty doll for the youngest girl.
When they paid for the purchase, Elizabeth noticed that her husband had bought one more of the same doll and packed it separately. She wondered whom he would give it to.
The Gardiners welcomed the newly married couple warmly. Darcy watched as Elizabeth hugged her cousins with affection. His mind immediately pondered on her relationship with Emma.
He still had not revealed her presence in Pemberley to his wife. He felt that it was too soon to reveal all the family matters to her. Elizabeth saw the joy on her cousin's faces when she gave them the gifts.
"I have some letters for you." Her aunt said when they settled down.
"Is there one from Charlotte?"
"No. It is from Jane and your mother."
I wonder why Charlotte has not written to me.
"Mr Collins has not responded to our letters. I do not know what is wrong. I have sent an express again." Her uncle said.
Darcy shifted uncomfortably in his chair. He did not want to discuss anything related to Kent or Lady Katherine.
"But uncle, it is odd. Charlotte responds promptly to my letters. I wonder if there is anything wrong. How long can we go about without knowing what Mr Collins' intentions are about Longbourn?"
"It is strange indeed. Let us wait and see."
Elizabeth noticed the troubled face of her husband. She knew from her uncle that Lady Katherine was his aunt. I wonder if he has some problem with his aunt. Nobody brought up her name at the Matlock house too.
Dinner passed pleasantly. Darcy watched Elizabeth as she fed her youngest cousin, neglecting her plate. He wondered if she would treat Emma the same way. After dinner, her aunt found a few moments of privacy to speak with her niece.
"Lizzy, how are you? I have been most anxious to get to town to see you."
"I am well, aunt. Considering the situation of my marriage, I can safely say it is not as scary as I expected it to be."
"Does.. Does Mr Darcy treat you well?"
"He does. There is nothing to worry about." Elizabeth could not reveal the state of her personal affairs, no matter how close she was to her aunt. I am sure I wouldn't be able to share my situation with anyone, not even Jane.
"How did you like his aunt and uncle?"
"I like them very much. His aunt, in particular, made me feel very welcome and comfortable. They want to invite you to dine at the Matlock house this week."
"We would be happy to."
"Please, tell me about Longbourn. How is mamma? How is Jane?"
"You might as well guess the situation at home. With a lack of communication from Mr Collins, your mother fears the worst. Your mother does not want to leave. But we have arranged for a cottage in Meryton, in case they are forced to move out."
"Is Jane comfortable at Netherfield? I have no doubts about her happiness. I am just worried about the Bingley sisters."
"She is very happy, Lizzy. We did dine at Netherfield many times, his sisters keep to themselves. Mr Hurst has recovered well. He can walk now. They want to come back to town. But Mr Bingley is not interested."
Elizabeth was happy for her sister. She knew that her own life was a joke in comparison to Jane's. But she cared less, she had accepted the situation.
He noticed her husband playing with her cousins. The youngest one on sitting happily on his lap, and he looked very comfortable playing with the child. She noticed his smile. She had seen him smile at her a few times before the compromise. There was something genuine about his smile, and she thought he looked extremely handsome when he did.
Darcy and Elizabeth left the Gardiner house after tea. Darcy was pleasantly surprised at how quickly time had passed during the visit. He enjoyed playing with the children and longed to get back to Pemberley to see Emma.
"Could you tell me when we plan to leave for Derbyshire?" Elizabeth asked during the carriage ride.
"We should leave next week. If you need to shop for anything, please do it soon."
"I do not have anything in particular. How long is the journey?"
"If we start in the morning, we can rest for the night on the way. And the next day, we can reach Pemberley."
Elizabeth nodded in silence. Pemberley! I have heard so much about it from Miss Bingley. Would it live up to her praise? She thought.
In the next few days, Elizabeth and Darcy were invited again for dinner at the Matlock house. The Gardiners were invited as well.
Elizabeth was happy to see her aunt bonding with Lady Margaret.
"Mrs Gardiner, we do have many common acquaintances in Derbyshire. Have you traveled there recently?"
"It has been many years since I visited Derbyshire."
"Mrs Gardiner, we invite all of you to visit Pemberley. We would be happy to have you there." Darcy said.
Elizabeth looked at her husband in astonishment. Does he mean it? Darcy locked his eyes with her and Elizabeth understood what he was trying to communicate.
"Yes, aunt. We would love to have you."
"Thank you, Mr Darcy. We must be able to make a trip in the near future."
Darcy noticed the surprise on his wife's face. Why did I invite them? I do like them. But I don't invite anybody except the Bingley's? Did I do it to make her happy?
As he was thinking, he failed to hear his aunt call him.
"Fitzwilliam, will you be able to attend the ball at Mr Andrew's house this weekend?
Elizabeth noticed that her husband was lost in thoughts. His aunt looked at him amusingly.
She had no other choice but to address her husband by his given name. No! I cannot call him Mr Darcy in front of all of them, it would raise all kinds of suspicion. Oh! God!
Without a second thought, she called out to him.
"Fitzwilliam, Aunt Margaret asked you something?"
She noticed him startle. Elizabeth thought that he hid his emotions well.
"Yes aunt, sorry I was preoccupied about another matter."
"Will you be able to attend the ball at Mr Andrews's house this weekend? You must have received his invitation."
"I had not planned any social engagements during this stay. We plan to leave next Friday."
"Oh! It is not a rule that could not be broken. I am sure our acquaintances would love to see Elizabeth. You must attend. It will not be nice if you take your bride away so soon without introducing her to friends."
Darcy's mind was in a turmoil. The moment he heard his name on her lips, he felt something stir inside. He could not name the emotion. He was surprised at the effect it had on him. It was the first time she had called him by his given name. He knew that she had done it due to the pressing circumstances of addressing him in front of his family. The slight blush on her cheek made the moment all the more endearing.
This is ridiculous. I cannot feel anything for her. Absolutely not. Get a grip of yourself, Darcy.
"I think we can attend this one ball before we go." He said without interest.
Elizabeth was still recovering from the embarrassment of calling him by his given name. Silly me! What is there to be embarrassed? It is all an act. He addresses me so. I call him so, by arrangement.
"Will you play for us today? I am looking forward to your performance." Lady Margaret asked her, bringing her back to reality.
"Oh! I do not play that well. And it has been very long since I practised." She said, horrified at the thought of touching the instrument.
Darcy felt she was being rude. He stared at his wife with a stern look. Elizabeth's aunt knew that she had stopped playing since her father's death. Lizzy must learn to move on. She thought.
"Lizzy, you are being modest. Lady Margaret, she does play well. Please give us a short performance at least."
Elizabeth stared at her aunt. No, I cannot play. I just cannot. She knew that Darcy looked displeased. She could not neglect the request made by her aunt. She walked to the pianoforte with reluctance. According to her, music was a way to express her happiness. But after her father's death, she hated to play just for the sake of it. It was almost eight months since she had touched the instrument. She looked at the audience watch her keenly, especially her husband. His sister must play exceptionally well. Anyway, I have nothing to lose in his eyes.
She chose a simple song. Her fingers struggled to find the harmony she once relished. It was painful to do something that she no longer enjoyed. As she played, she could not avoid recollecting the memories of the happy days spent at Longbourn when her father was alive, his voice, his warmth, his intelligence, and his care. She remembered all of it. Her fingers moved more smoothly as the song progressed, and she played with ease. She closed her eyes to hide the emotion she felt. She opened her eyes only when she heard the applause from her family, when she ended her performance.
"Elizabeth, what a beautiful performance. It is indeed a pleasure to hear you play." Lady Margaret said.
Richard joined in. "Mrs Darcy, it was truly an exceptional performance. Georgiana will be delighted to play duets with you."
"Yes, my dear. I wonder why you would hesitate to play anywhere. I have not heard anything more pleasant." Lord Matlock said.
Elizabeth thanked them heartily. Her aunt squeezed her hand. "I know what it must have taken you to play Lizzy. But it is time for you to move on in life. I am proud of you." She whispered.
Elizabeth did not look at her husband's face. She did not expect anything from him.
Had she looked, she would have seen astonishment and admiration in equal proportions on his face.
Darcy was indeed mesmerised by her performance. He had looked at her assuming her performance to be none out of the ordinary. He had never heard her play before. He had heard her sisters play at the Netherfield ball and even at Lucas lodge. He assumed she did not have much talent.
He watched her keenly as she sat at the instrument. He could not understand the sadness in her eyes as she touched the instrument.
But once Elizabeth started to play, he was drawn towards her performance like never before. There was something soulful, which resonated with her personality and elegance. Darcy could not take his eyes off her. When she finished playing, his heart wished for me. He saw that her eyes were moist when she walked away from the instrument.
Why would she feel this way? She does play beautifully. He heard the rest of them praise her performance, but he could not come up with words to do justice. He expected her to look at him. But she had not. She doesn't care about my opinion.
When Darcy escorted Elizabeth to the dining room, he half expected her to ask him about her performance.
"Do you think we can invite everybody for dinner at our house before we leave for Pemberley?"
Darcy was surprised at her request.
"Of course, we can."
It was decided that the Matlocks and Gardiners were to dine with them before they left to Pemberley. Elizabeth felt oddly nervous about hosting them. When they went home, she immediately started a discussion with the housekeeper about the preparations. Darcy saw the music room and wondered why his wife never played before. He longed to hear her play again. I wonder if she sings as well? Georgiana would be delighted to hear her.
That night he found Elizabeth in the library. She was so engrossed in her book that she failed to notice her husband standing by the door. Darcy did not want to disturb her, but his feet did not move at the beautiful sight before him.
He was riveted by the appearance of her, engrossed in her book, oblivious of his presence. He felt the library looked complete with her in it.
It was pretty late in the night, and he wondered why she hadn't retired to bed.
He cleared his throat and noticed her startle. Elizabeth stood when she saw him.
"I did not ask you whether you wanted to attend the ball before I agreed to Aunt Margaret. Are you comfortable with it?"
Elizabeth raised her eyebrows. The only thing which makes me uncomfortable is this act we are putting on together.
"Is there a reason I should be uncomfortable?"
"No. I just thought I should have asked you before I agreed."
"I would be happy to attend it."
Darcy nodded his head. He wanted to leave the library. But he could not.
Why is he staring at me like that? Elizabeth wondered. She picked her book and crossed him to reach the door.
"You play exceptionally well." He said, seeing her leave.
Elizabeth turned around in surprise.
"I am not sure if there are many music books here. You can buy new ones if you would like. Is there anything wrong with the instrument we have? I have not seen you play here before?"
"I have no inclination to play. I have not touched the pianoforte here, so I do not know about it." She said dryly.
Darcy could sense of irritation in her tone. He wanted to know why she chose to avoid it when she played so well.
Elizabeth watched him silently. Why does he care? The last thing I want to do is to sit in the music room and pretend as if my life is a fairy tale.
"Good night, Mr Darcy." She said formally and left him.
Darcy could not deny the pain he felt when he addressed him formally. What is wrong with me?
He sat down, looking at the sofa which she had occupied. Her presence in his life taunted him in a way he could not fathom. It is hardly two weeks since we have been married. And she has unsettled me in some way.
He sat there wondering if there was even the slighted possibility of their relationship turning into something meaningful. Then he remembered the compromise, the mortification he underwent amongst total strangers and having been accused by his mother.
No! No! It can never be anything more than a namesake marriage. I can never forget how I married her. She may be charming and beautiful, but she is not honest. That precedes over everything else.
He left the library mentally preparing to limit his interaction with his wife unless it was absolutely necessary. But deep down, he knew that it was not going to be an easy task.