Kagami learnt how to lie.
While she deceived herself daily, struggled to hold back and conceal so much that she couldn't understand or express, she was never skilled at lying to her mother who saw more than most could even with perfect eyesight.
To protect Marinette and the fragile little hunk of sugar crystal that the three of them cradled in their palms, trying to nurture it through its nucleation though none of them had any idea how the chemistry was supposed to work, Kagami taught herself how to lie better.
It was neither difficult nor easy to live by lies; on the contrary, it was effortless and impossible at once.
There was something perverse about the way she learned to lie together with the two people she was trying to be honest with, something that Adrien noted when he quoted someone with an unpronounceable name who once exhorted people to "live not by lies." Adrien was always rather bookish; he had needed friends as a child and for him imagination and other people's stories had to suffice. .
Live not by lies.
Wise advice that Kagami would take, were it not necessary to survive by lies.
Soft.
Kagami's world is soft.
Alien.
Unimaginable until Adrien; he was a bed stuffed with goose feathers that she could snuggle into.
Now, she drowns in a pool of molten wet softness.
Softer than the baby-smooth skin on Adrien's well-exfoliated cheeks.
Softer than his lips.
Softer than the drippy soft-serve that rolled a trail of cream down the edge of the waffle cone she shared on her last date, with a sweeter hit of vanilla from the Neapolitan they had been eating and a shocking saccharine burst of cherry lip balm.
It is not a fight; not play; not competition; not a tease.
Adrien's lips do all those things.
It is a melt.
The heat of Marinette's cheek is under her fingertips, burning her sweaty palm as she traces the edge of her girlfriend's chin, the fine bone structure sharp. A burst of static thrums in her brain, paralyzing, followed by the arching stab of lightning fear that has her intestines coiling. Her rough hands, too clumsy for this, will grate or chaff or crush or fumble-
Softness grins against her mouth, bubbling, and somehow even through that , she smiles, eyes cracking open to take in the slanted perspective of Marinette, burning cheeks and twitching tight-shut eyelids. Giggles are swallowed and returned, a repositioning of their noses when they smack together, and Kagami learns how to laugh at her own poor performance.
Her well-trained but harsh hands, skimming the surface of softness, testing its boundaries, only tickle as they both try to capture each other's top lip and only end up drooling and smooshing.
They break, and the giggles do too, mostly from Marinette's wide-spread mouth as the beautiful, flushing girl worms her hands together and stares towards the far wall.
That is clearly an error on Marinette's part, one which Kagami enjoys immensely when her girlfriend meeps , as she so often does, and smashes her face into her palms.
Adrien's photographers would be awed by the way that he sits perfectly still at Marinette's desk, legs clenched tight and folded, hands crushing his kneecaps, irises obliterated by pupils.
Kagami only beckons their stupefied boyfriend towards them. His walk is somewhat reminiscent of the brainless shambling of one of those infected cells in the anime about an anthropomorphized immune system that Adrien made them watch. Kagami found it pleasant only because it was an excuse to cuddle on Marinette's chaise and stare at Adrien's equally wide-eyed face, cut not with amazement but the grin of a child being given a puppy and all he wanted to do was love as he laughed and smiled so beautifully.
Kagami had never seen such a smile. The sight was an indulgent addiction she could cultivate and enjoy.
But, oh! The softness of Marinette's lips...
On butting into the edge of the chaise and nearly toppling over into Marinette's lap, which has Kagami sighing at the silliness, Adrien gropes for purchase before they writhe together into a tangle of limbs, all warm and easy. Limbs lock crushing tight as Marinette hides her face in their boyfriend's chest.
It is almost enough to lull Kagami to sleep.
This is hard, but then again, everything worthwhile is.
And, as Adrien loops an arm around her waist and Marinette's sapphire eyes open up to look at both of them with ... love , the softness is more tender and easy than the hard is arduous.
They hold each other, and it is worth it.
Kagami allowed her fencing bag to slip from her shoulders as she crossed the threshold into her room.
Arms folded over her chest, hands tucked into the pits of her arms, Ladybug was leaning against the wide window to Kagami's room.
An unexpected development that was to be assessed and parsed out.
"Kagami Tsurugi," Ladybug began with a suspicious level of calm. Given the danger posed by whatever more clandestine akuma must have been attacking the city, Kagami frowned at the unhurried tone.
"Yes?" That would require probing. "We are both aware of the fact that is my name."
The thrust did not destabilize Paris' heroine, and thus Kagami was still left on the back-foot.
"As guardian of the Miraculous, I need your help."
"This is a strange request," Kagami grumbled at the reminder of her failures while squeezing a fist behind her back. "I cannot be allowed to possess the dragon miraculous, as my identity has been revealed."
A small box inlaid with ornate symbols that she cannot recognize was held out to her, and she admired the craftsmanship. Mastery of, and fixation on, one art form did not preclude the appreciation of others. The flick of Ladybug's gloved thumb popped the small container open, revealing not the choker that Kagami had anticipated, but a golden comb – the one that the abhorrent little witch, Chloe Bourgeois, had flaunted because it gave her the illusion of power in a dozen different forms.
"Kagami Tsurugi, you have proven yourself a woman of integrity and courage. Because I already know that I can trust you to use it for good, to protect others, just as you used the Dragon, I offer you the miraculous of the bee."
Was this infidelity? She had pledged herself to Longg, yet proven unworthy of the trust that Ladybug had placed in her once. Surely the heroine who was looking at her so softly, bright, standing tall yet easy as if she already trusted Kagami with her life and more must have been aware of that fact. The strangely alluring crystal blue eyes that pierced her and made her feel ... like her skin was tingling in the midst of a thunder storm, crackling pinpoint precise bolts of lightning flashing by her, but safe because there was an inexorable will to the winds – were steady, tight focused but relaxed.
Yet still, responsibility reigned.
"I am sorry, Ladybug, but I have proven myself unworthy of this ... duty." It was her great shame; the one duty that fell on her not because she was her mother's daughter, but because someone had believed in her, she had shirked.
"No, Kagami." Ladybug shook her head. "You showed that you could be trusted when we fought Chloe's parents."
"I will not argue with you," Kagami sighed, rubbing her brow, unable to suppress the strange hunger to feel the explosion of bliss that was the miraculous magic. "The need must be dire, so I accept provisionally."
"You don't need to accept, Kagami." The wooden box strained in Ladybug's hand.
"But what of the akuma?"
"There is no akuma."
"I do not understand." This was as confusing as any interaction with Marinette and Adrien could ever be.
"I'm not going to throw you into the middle of a fight again. I'm not going to do that to anyone. I want to give you the chance to choose without that pressure. I want you to have a real choice."
Adrien would likely cry at that.
Kagami refused to, whatever she felt. A war between responsibilities was never easy to resolve. Which good took precedence? Which need? Which love? Did one have to?
Could she bear another responsibility?
Being needed was as addictive as Adrien's smiles and Marinette's blushes and lips though. So tempting...
"Please, spend some time with Pollen, the bee kwami." The box was placed into her palm. An easy slackness to Ladybug's jaw and the soft, slick fabric of her gloved hand that lingered lit a fire. It was so tempting to give in when challenged and supported at once. Kagami knew that feeling from all those many hours spent with Adrien and Marinette. Fingertips almost caressed the rough flesh of Kagami's palm before Ladybug pulled away.
"Take time to think about the responsibility and – and what you want without any pressure. I'll be back in a few days to pick up Pollen, if you decide that you don't want to accept. I would be honoured to have you fight alongside us, but whatever you decide, you'll still have my utmost respect. "
And with that, Kagami watched as Ladybug bounded out of her bedroom window.
Hesitation was always pointless, and no new information was to be gained by simply standing around in the middle of her room.
Settled on her bed after peeling off her socks so that she could slip her feet under the covers of her bed, splaying out and wiggling her toes into her cool sheets, she thought for just a moment about her many responsibility – to her mother, her future, her boyfriend, her girlfriend, and, because one had to be honest about selfish needs, herself.
She opened the box, plucked up the miraculous, and fixed it in place, knowing to shield her eyes. The flare of light that sent sparking shards exploring along her eyelids, bursting in the dark, hadn't yet cleared when a high buzzing voice reached her.
"Hello, my Queen. I am tremendously honoured to be a part of your hive."
As Kagami tilted her head, she realized that there was still so very much to learn.
And so much more that she would have to lie about.
Author's Notes
Yorume - Rest assured that, while I enjoy some other ships such as Lukadrien, the Lovesquare has always been my go-to pairing. That said, ever since Heart-Hunter, the throuple of Adrien, Kagami, and Marinette has enthralled me. I'm so pleased that my depiction of these three as they try to work out their feelings as resonated with you, and hope that you will enjoy the very long ride that we have yet to complete.
As you can see, we've taken Kagami in a different direction, as her identity was still revealed in this canon-divergent conclusion to Season 3, so she'll be acclimatizing herself to the Bee miraculous for the next little while. She's still a dragon at heart, but cannot adopt that identity just yet. As for Marinette, she doesn't yet know of Chat Noir's identity (there's a good deal more angst and struggle the three of them are going to have to go through in order to earn their happy ending), but cat, bee, and dragon imagery will be cropping up as we go along.
Thanks for taking the time to review!
Yellow 14 - Your reflection on the myriad difficulties associated with "negotiating" a non-standard relationship is entirely apt, Yellow 14. Andre warned them that combining more than two flavours is difficult; you have to negotiate the choppy waters of three "pairs" and a "triad" at the same time, and that's a terrible challenge. Failure and disaster always loom large. I very much wanted to "show" in this chapter what Adrien asserted in the previous one: that things are somehow easier when they're all there to meet each other's needs and balance each other's flaws or weakness. Thank you so much for letting me know that I achieved at least some success there.
Still, they're living by innumerable lies; balance is impossible in that case. They've a long way to go as we move into the second "act" of the story focusing on their established, but still tenuous, relationship.
Guardian of the Inheritance - I'm glad that you've enjoyed watching them try to explore these untested waters. Another brief time-skip is coming up as we move into another realm of their relationship, and I hope that you'll find it just as exciting and engaging... though there will be pain and much struggle before we reach our bittersweet ending.