A/N: So, here goes nothing. I'm planning to update this story for a little while. It's been hanging over my head for a while, and I'm gonna try to close it out. Christmas is in a couple of days, so I doubt I'll update before then, so I'll wish everyone a safe and Merry Christmas!

2008: Time Hurts

For a few years, everything had been good.

Evy had three children now. Isla was fifteen, Robbie was thirteen, Eric was eleven and Connor, she hoped, had turned sixteen that morning.

She had no idea where Peter was. He hadn't been home in over three months. Every few weeks, he would go on a trip, scavenging the town and the outlying wilderness looking for Connor. While Evy appreciated the effort, the weeks he was gone were lonely.

Isla was a mess. She and Connor had been eighteen months apart, and at times acted more like twins than simply older brother and younger sister. Isla would wake every morning and go to Connor's room, which Peter insisted on keeping exactly the way it had been. Evy had long since given up the fight to utilize the room in some way, and stuck to cleaning it once a week. But Isla spent every morning checking her brother's room, trying to see if he had come home yet.

Evy had started looking for her brothers again. She'd believed that, over time, her memories of them would fade and it would become less painful to think of how she'd been forced to live without them. But after, and perhaps because of, Connor's disappearance, her drive to see them again had intensified. She longed for a hug from both of them. The hug from Sam that told her that everything would be okay. The hug from Dean that told her she was precious to him, even though he'd never, ever use that word.

Everything was most definitely not okay.

Evy had basically been a single parent for the last four years. She'd woken up one morning, more than five years ago, to a sick and feverish Connor. She hadn't been worried about it. The flu had come to every child in Jordan Valley over the course of a couple of weeks, and Evy just assumed that it was her family's turn to deal with it.

Things had seemed okay for the first few hours. Connor slept in his room, except for twice when he woke up to throw up. Peter came home for lunch and that was when the nightmare started. Connor wasn't in his room.

Every day after that had felt like Evy was holding her breath. After a few weeks of mourning, in which the entire Jordan Valley pulled together to help them, she went through the motions of taking care of kids, working, and just trying her best to look like she was fine.

After a while, it became harder and harder to pretend. Had Ryan not been Peter's father, Peter would have been fired from his job more than once. But Evy refused to take money from Ryan without doing any work, so she took over Peter's job. She worked five mornings and one double shift at Ryan's, and Ryan did his best to fill in the spot that Peter should have been taking. He took the children to doctor's appointments, babysat them frequently, and did anything else Evy needed of him.

Then the worst happened.

Ryan called Evy and asked if she could take a second double. That he felt like garbage and was heading to the doctor. Evy wanted to go with him, but Ryan insisted. The best way she could help him was to run the bar for him. A phone call from the hospital later that night confirmed Evy's worst fears.

Ryan had died of a heart attack.

Two weeks had passed since that night, and once again, everyone was pulling together to help support Evy and the kids. Evy hadn't needed to cook a single meal, do a single chore, or take the children anywhere. While she was sincerely appreciative of everyone's efforts, Evy wanted to get back into the routine of caring for what was left of her family. She had sent home Mrs. Danners, the kind grandmotherly lady that lived next door to them, and joined a downcast Isla on the couch.

"Talk to me." Evy said quietly.

Isla just shrugged. "About what?"

"Whatever's going on in that head of yours."

"I thought he'd come back."

"Come back?" Evy asked. "Who…Oh."

"I called him."

"You called your dad? When?"

"About a thousand times since he left." Isla said.

"Where did you call?"

Isla pulled a piece of paper out of her pocket and handed it to Evy. "He left me that in my room. Told me to call him anytime."

"And?"

"He never picked up. Or called back."

Evy sighed. "I'm sorry, kiddo. I really am." When Isla said nothing else, Evy took her hand. "Hey, I have something to tell you."

"What?"

"You have been amazing. Not just the last couple of weeks, but before that too. I couldn't have done all this without you."

"You mean that?"

"Yes. I do. And I talked to Mrs. Jackson today. She's gonna watch the boys after school on Wednesdays, Thursdays, and Fridays."

"Why?"

"Because you're a teenager, and you've spent way too much time that you should've been doing teenager things keeping your brothers for me."

"I don't mind, Mom…"

"I know you don't mind. And that's what makes you a great kid. But I do mind. I'll still need you on Mondays and Tuesdays. You'll need to pick them up from school, make sure they get dinner, and I'll try to be home to put them to bed." Evy said. "But if something comes up on one of those two days, let me know."

"Like what?"

"School starts in a week. If you want to join a club or a sport or something, let me know. It won't kill the boys to sit at the bar with me. Hell, Robbie's thirteen. Maybe, if he's lucky, I'll start letting him stay home alone too."

Despite her assurances that she could handle it, Evy could see the tension draining out of Isla's shoulders. Evy smiled and was about to share a hug with Isla when a knock at the front door stopped the conversation cold. Evy let out a groan, certain that one of the neighbors had come back. Isla offered to get the door and tell the visitor that everyone was on their way to bed.

"That sounds like a plan."

But when Isla opened the door, Evy saw her mouth drop open in shock. Evy walked over, wondering who could make her daughter so speechless. There, standing in the door, was ragged looking Peter. He had a shaggy, unkempt beard, a big change from his normally clean shaven face. Peter attempted a smile, but Evy was barely keeping her temper.

"Isla, honey, go in the backyard with your brothers please."

"Sure, Mom."

Isla turned and went out the backdoor without speaking a word to her long-lost father.

"You gonna let me in?" Peter asked. It would've been smug if Evy didn't know Peter well enough. He was afraid.

But him being afraid didn't cloud Evy's anger in the slightest. "I don't know. You gonna stay for longer than five minutes?"

"Please let me in. I came to talk."

"Come on." Evy said irritably.

"Thank you."

Peter walked inside and tried to hug Evy, but wasn't surprised when she pushed him away before closing the front door. Evy walked over and took her seat back on the couch, folding her arms across her chest and glaring at him.

"Can I sit?" Peter asked cautiously.

"No. Tell me what you came for."

"Okay." Peter shifted awkwardly on his feet and gathered his thoughts. "I'm sorry."

"For?" Evy asked.

"Leaving."

"And…?"

"Everything." Peter said simply.

"No. I need to hear you say exactly what you did. What you've done over the last five years."

"I know I haven't exactly been here…"

"You're. Damn. Right!"

"I'm sorry. Okay? What else can I say? I wanted to look for Connor…"

"Do you think I didn't?" Evy seethed. "He's my son too."

"I know…"

"Shut up! You don't get to talk right now. I gave you a chance and you didn't take it. Connor was my son too. But I've been right here with your other three children, taking care of them. I have done your job for you, and taken care of your dad. Speaking of which, where the hell were you when your dad died?"

"In Colorado." Peter said. "I thought I had a lead on him."

"And?"

"Don't you think I would've led with that?"

"Look. I get it. I understand it. Hell, I even appreciate you trying so hard to find him. But it's time to get back to the kids we have here."

"I know. I just…I feel guilty. Like we're giving up on him."

Evy sighed. "We're not giving up. We're not. We looked as hard as we could for as long as we could. I feel like we need to move on. If he came back and we were broken apart, I think that would hurt him worse than anything."

Peter nodded. "I know."

"Look, I'm okay with you coming home. But you gotta earn that trust back. Not just with me, but Isla and the boys too. I won't make them talk to you."

"I don't expect you too."

"And one more thing." Evy said.

Evy stood and walked back to him. Though she was an entire foot shorter than Peter, Evy could see him shivering in intimidation. She spoke slowly but clearly.

"You ever put your hands on me again, for anything other something I want you to put them on me for, and I will not hesitate to put in hell so fast it'll make your head spin. Remember, we're in the wilderness, darling. It'll take years, maybe even decades, before anyone finds you. If they find you."

"Yes, ma'am."

"Good. Let's go check on the kids."

Things continued to be well for a few years, but Evy never quite got over the feeling that it wouldn't stay that way. Her children grew up, went away to college, came back and raised families, and Evy was happy. Truly happy.

Things started to go rotten again, and eventually the image in her head of her brothers started to fade. Eric joined the army and had a little girl. Evy eventually got the news that she'd been dreading to hear, and she and Peter found themselves raising their five-year-old granddaughter in their late sixties. A few years later, Evy attended Peter's funeral, and a few years after that, she got even more bad news.

"I'm sorry. The test results are fairly conclusive. You have cancer, and it's spread fairly far. We need to talk treatment."

Sam was getting desperate. Dean didn't seem to understand that for every minute they didn't find Evy, she was experiencing years wherever she was. Sam wondered, in the back of his mind, whether Evy had given up on finding them. Whether she had a life there of her own.

Whether it was even fair to bring her back at all.

But all that changed when he found what he was looking for.

"DEAN! BOBBY! I got it!"