Chapter 10.
"Are we doing the right thing?"
The question threw Luke off guard and he could see something was bothering his wife from the look on her face.
"Are we doing the right thing choosing to raise Joanna?" Maxine asked.
The couple had been going about their morning routine, getting ready before they both headed off to work when Maxine stopped and hit Luke with the hard hitting questions.
"I owe it to Isaac and Tiva. I promised to raise her as my own if anything were to happen to them both." Luke said, leaning against the chest of drawers.
"No, you promised to give her the life she deserved, you promised to put her best interests first before any decision you made regarding her future. I don't know if we are the best fit for her." she said with a defeated sigh.
"If not us then who? What's going on Max?"
"If we are the right people then what are we doing wrong? She was doing so well, making friends, trying to fit in at school and getting good marks, she was starting to build a routine around the ranch and the miracle was that she was getting along with the boys. I'm just trying to figure out what went wrong." She looked up from where she sat on the end of their bed.
"You are not doing anything wrong. We have both spent years raising boys and are trying to juggle them and a thirteen year old girl. But even then Mac is her legal guardian"
"I'm a high school teacher, I am around a variety of students each day. I should know what to do with a hormonal teenage girl."
"Teaching and raising are two very different things." He pointed out and she had to give him credit for listening but also taking part in this conversation. "And as you just said, she is a hormonal teenager that has gone through a great trauma."
"We should talk to Mac, get some more answers on how she's doing and make sure he's still okay with the arrangement. It's a lot to ask, asking him to take in a young girl." Max sighed, her brain still thinking.
"He's doing well. Actually, they are doing great. I had a good talk with him the other day, we sat down and he told me how she was because he is getting concerned."
"What did he say? Is there anything we can do?"
"She's become closed off to a lot of people but she keeps getting closer to him, she trusts him. He has become a part of her life and until she starts to push him away, we need to take comfort in that." Luke said.
"But why is she choosing to push people away? She's been with us a few months and I'm worried, I'm really worried that I'm missing something or we are doing something wrong? Do I need to try to make a bigger effort to have a woman's influence in her life?" Maxine knew she was rambling but she found herself struggling to stop as she felt herself get worked up.
"You need to cut yourself some slack." He moved to sit beside her, putting an arm around her shoulder, "If it makes you feel better then I see no harm in you trying to be more involved in Joanna's life. Talk to some of your friends and I'm sure Grace could help you, listen to what they have to say. And before you say anything, the boys will understand because they come to me when they have questions regarding changes to their body or they need advice."
"And Joanna currently doesn't have that." Max said, putting her head in her hands.
"You have in no way failed her. You have spent years raising boys, it's okay to be unsure because raising a young girl is a very different game and I'm more clueless than you." He knelt in front of her, holding her hands. "You are an amazing mother and you need to stop doubting yourself."
It was in that moment that Maxine knew she had married the right man and couldn't help the smile that formed on her lips.
"Together. If we are doing this then we are doing it together."
"Wouldn't have it any other way." Luke said.
Two days later Maxine started to gain more confidence in herself and how she could hopefully help Joanna. Her friends had shared their fair share of advice and lent her books she could read, Grandma Grace had listened patiently as the other woman openly shared all of her concerns, worries and her fears.
"Joanna? Can I talk to you?" Maxine asked, finding the young girl in the lounge watching the boys play video games. Normally Joanna was outside but today they were blessed with some needed rain that didn't look like it was stopping anytime soon.
"Ooooo, someone's in trouble." Bryan said, looking away from his game for a brief moment.
"Dude, pay attention, I nearly died!" Quinn complained, focusing on the screen in front of him.
"Am I in trouble?" Joanna asked.
"No, you are not in trouble. I just want to talk." Maxine smiled softly at her.
"Okay." Joanna said, guessing her aunt wanted to talk somewhere private she followed her up to her and Luke's room, closing the door. "Are you sure I'm not in trouble?"
"I'm sure, sit down." Maxine patted a spot on the king sized bed.
Joanna did as she was told, sitting down with her knees tucked up to her chest.
"I wanted to talk to you without the boys so we can talk girl talk. Is there anything you want to talk to me about? No topic is off limits when it's girl talk."
"Not really." She said, biting her lip as she slowly looked around the room.
"Are you sure?"
"I want my mom." Joanna said in a quiet voice
"Oh honey. Come here." Maxine said, holding the young girl close as she started to cry.
"I miss her so much and I wish she was here to help me, especially with periods and bras and all the other stuff."
"It's okay to miss her and it's very normal for you to want her here. I'm not your mother but I'm here to answer any questions and help you because I went through the exact same thing. Bras are an easy fix, you let me know when you need new ones and we will have a girls shopping day. With other stuff, you can talk to me, I'm not ever going to replace your mom but I am here to play a mothering role so please talk to me because it's already been really nice to have another female around the house." Maxine broke away to look at Joanna and the young girl could see that the older woman meant every word she had said.
"Thank you." Joanna said.
"Anytime honey." Maxine said, tucking a lock of hair behind Joanna's ear. "What's going on?" Something in the older woman's gut told her things still weren't quite right.
"It's nothing. I'm just being silly."
"Joanna, there is no such thing as a silly question." Maxine said.
"You have told me that you're not here to replace my mom but you're here to play a mothering role and we can talk girl talk. Once a week me and mom would always do something together. We would see a movie, visit a hair salon, get manicures or pedicures, go to a cafe, go shopping or we would drive somewhere with a couple of horses and go riding. I know there isn't much to do around here but I honestly miss going out like that." Joanna smiled fondly at the memories that filled her mind as she spoke and she tried not to cry at the same time.
"I'm sorry we don't have a lot of money." Maxine stated to say and Joanna couldn't help but feel her heart sink, "But that doesn't mean me and you can't do something fun together. Like I said before, I'm happy to have another female around because it will give me a reason to be girly. I can't afford to take us to get our nails done but we can do it at home, have a girls night in. We could go to Clara's diner on a coffee date and if there is a movie you really want to see, we can go watch it. Shopping trips are a rare occurrence but we can make them really fun and something to look forward to because the boys always dread shopping. As for riding, I'll admit I don't get in the saddle much but again, you are giving me a reason to. How does all that sound." She looked at Joanna in anticipation.
"I would really like that." Joanna found herself crying again but instead she shed happy tears as she hugged her aunt tightly around the waist. "Thank you so so much."
Maxine smiled to herself, feeling easier about the current situation as she realized why her husband had so much faith in her. Joanna would be alright as long as Maxine played her role in the young girl's life because at the age of thirteen, her life was about to change even more.
"Hmm…" Maxine made the noise as she ran her fingers through Joanna's long hair, noticing a few split ends. "I'm going to say that you need a haircut young lady."
"No, it's fine." Joanna said defensively, grabbing her hair. She liked it long and she feared the other woman would cut it short, her aunt noticed this and laughed.
"I'm just going to give it a trim. I promise not to cut more than a few inches off." Maxine said, showing a measurement with her fingers.
"Alright. No more than my split ends."
"No more than your split ends. Did you want me to do it now?" Max asked and Joanna nodded. "Wonderful, let me grab a few things and I'll cut it in the bathroom." The blond woman said, hopping off the bed, gathering what she needed before getting Joanna to sit down and cutting her hair.