Chapter 9:
You know? While this isn't the first time I've woken on my back and staring at the ceiling after a MindFucker Holiday went sideways, this is the first time said ceiling has been in a derelict condition.
"Mandi?" a familiar female voice called.
"It Wasn't Me!" the other familiar female voice protested.
Well that's a step up from the last time I was separated from all I love and know, I'm not alone this time.
Sitting up I looked around, spotting Karen, clad in the Necrontyr equivalent of Carapace armour, looking around with her Phased Plasma Fusil at the garde and ready to use.
My other female companion, Mandisa, was getting her voluminous mane back under control, inadvertently giving a nice view of her Mesh armour's slightly overstuffed cuirass straining to withhold its contents, her Power Sword still sheathed on her back but her pistol nowhere in sight.
My final companion, Skitarius Alpha HK-47 was carefully looking around the room with his Plasma Caliver at the ready in case he took offense to something.
I promptly did a quick check: robe, armour, pistol, webbing, tools, data slate, Bob…
Bob's missing. Bugger.
"We're alive, unharmed, and…" I froze as a deep, unsettling groan reverberated through whatever structure we are in.
"I vote we find out where we are and how to get back?" I stated, glancing around nervously.
"Agreed/Concurrent statement: Agreed."
Looking to my left I spot the door, drawing my pistol I gesture for HK to take position.
The Alpha steps up the other other side of the door, I spot that the door is kept from shutting, slipping my fingers into the gap I took a firm grip on the door, nodding to HK I yanked the door open as best I could before it wedged, the Alpha slipped through the gap despite my initial belief it was too narrow.
"Statement: the corridor is clear Master," the Alpha reported.
I grunted eloquently, then adjusted my body to get better leverage on the door, this time forcing it far enough to allow our passage.
Sliding through I glanced up and down the corridor, noting that there was still light even if there was a general feel of disrepair.
Looking over my shoulder, I note Mandisa and Karen step into the corridor, looking back to HK I nod to him, indicating for him to move up.
We move up in silence, other than the periodic groans of the structure around us, the doors we pass offer little clue as to our location, some are sealed by melted seams, some are fail safed from a lack of power, some are jarred or bent partly open revealing severe damage on the other side or simply blocked by debris, a precious few are open or do open on to empty rooms.
HK stops suddenly as we reach a cross passage, "Concerned Statement: Master?"
His tone instantly has our undivided attention, I follow his gaze to a Thallax sized robot on the floor, my first thought is we might be on an AdMech ship but something about the synthetic body is disquieting, it's design is too sleek and, for want of a better term, Modern.
HK kicks the robot onto it's back and the bottom falls out of my stomach...
"Man of Iron."
I cautiously approach the fallen synthetic, taking care to not obstruct Karen's line of fire as I kneel beside the robot to examine it.
Unlike most of AdMech I don't think AI are inherently Evil, rather I think Mankind's development of the Men of Iron was the equivalent of "Digging Too Deep" and their subsequent corruption once psykers appeared and the Warp was discovered was the slumbering Balrog we had disturbed.
And unlike most of the Imperium, AdMech knows how Mankind really defeated the Men of Iron.
ScrapCode.
I'm not sure which terrifies me more, running into a functioning Man of Iron or inadvertently picking up something with active ScrapCode.
The pair of holes in the head and chest indicate that this one at least isn't going anywhere and hasn't had a hope to for a long time, standing up I look to HK, "this one's been dead for some time, though that raises the question…"
"Conclusion: Is it a boarder, or one of the crew?" HK concluded.
Looking into the cross passage I see two more fallen robots and a lot of scorch marks in the walls, but no dropped weapons.
"Someone cleaned up afterwards," Karen noted, moving to the far side of the cross section.
The remains continue down the side corridor.
"This is a bad idea," I pointed out, "but the trail of bodies probably leads into the main system sections, so we should probably follow them."
"Sarcastic agreement: you are right Master, that is a bad idea," HK replied.
"It's probably our best bet though," Mandisa reposted.
"Come on," I ordered, starting down the side corridor.
It took an hour to find the bridge.
The ship is built around a cathedral like hollow space, subdivided into three massive decks and each deck is divided into between five and eleven compartments. A quick look around as we climbed those decks showed the central space to be a massive landing bay backed by hangars and garages of varying descriptions and contents. The deck below was dedicated to the repair and maintenance of ground vehicles while the upper deck was the same for the air and voidcraft carried aboard.
"Why would AI build the bridge on top of the ship?" Mandisa asked as we climbed yet another set of stairs, "Wouldn't it be more logical to be in the centre of the ship?"
"Pretty sure the early MoI fleet was designed by humans," I replied as I opened the hatch, "besides, there's a rather large hangar in the centre of this ship which kinda prevents that… phwor…" the air released as the hatch opened was pretty pungent.
"It seems the ventilation wasn't working up there," Karen observed.
"Sarcastic observation: it stinks," HK added.
I glared down at the pair, as cool as Cogboy Techno Voodoo was sometimes I did regret not wearing my helmet. Like today, for example.
The command level was a mess.
The ceiling had caved in on what looked like a set of command consoles, the far door had been blasted in, blast marks all over the place, wrecked MoI everywhere...
01000001 01100011 01110100 01101001 01110110 01101001 01110100 01111001 00100000 01100100 01100101 01110100 01100101 01100011 01110100 01100101 01100100 00101110 00101110 00101110
I glanced around at the faint burst of binary, shrugging it off. I move into the command bridge and take a closer look around.
1000001 01110100 01110100 01100101 01101101 01110000 01110100 01101001 01101110 01100111 00100000 01110011 01111001 01110011 01110100 01100101 01101101 01110011 00100000 01110010 01100101 01100010 01101111 01101111 01110100 00101110 00101110 00101110
I glanced around again, meeting HK's eyes for a second, I nodded, he raised his weapon and started off to check the other side of the bridge.
01000101 01110010 01110010 01101111 01110010 00101110 00101110 00101110
This time I'm distracted by something else, a large spherical module on the chart table with several wires plugged into it.
01000001 01101101 01100010 01110101 01101100 01100001 01110100 01101111 01110010 01111001 00100000 01110011 01110100 01100001 01110100 01110101 01110011 00111111
I walked over to the football sized object, it was the only still fully functional piece of technology on the bridge, it vaguely resembled the portable Data Cores AdMech sometimes used, like on that dig to Kronus where I first met Karen only smaller and, probably, more advanced.
01000101 01110010 01110010 01101111 01110010 00101110 00101110 00101110
Continuing around the table I found a console several of the cables were plugged into, it was in standby mode.
01001100 01101111 01100011 01101111 01101101 01101111 01110100 01101001 01101111 01101110 00100000 01101111 01100010 01110011 01110100 01110010 01110101 01100011 01110100 01100101 01100100 00101110 00101110 00101110
The console boots up the instant I touch the screen, though it's a little sluggish to resume operations.
01000101 01110010 01110010 01101111 01110010 00101110 00101110 00101110
Once the core boots I'm greeted by scrawling lines of binary, it takes me a few moments to catch up to the rapidly moving numbers but as I process snippets of code, "Hk? Take a look at this."
01000001 01101100 01100101 01110010 01110100 00100001
Hk strode over and I moved aside to let him inspect the screen, "Disbelieving statement: Master, I believe this Data Core contains a program that was developed to counter ScrapCode."
01010100 01101000 01110010 01100101 01100001 01110100 00100000 01110100 01101111 00100000 01000011 01101111 01110010 01100101 00100000 01000100 01100101 01110100 01100101 01100011 01110100 01100101 01100100 00100001
"Did it work?" I asked him, "I can't quite read binary that fast."
01000101 01110010 01110010 01101111 01110010 00100001 00100000 01000001 01101101 01100010 01110101 01101100 01100001 01110100 01101001 01101111 01101110 00100000 01110010 01100101 01110011 01110100 01110010 01101001 01100011 01110100 01100101 01100100 00100001
"Stunned Amazement: It appears that it did, Master," Hk replied softly.
01000101 01110010 01110010 01101111 01110010 00100001
That'll be worth a fortune if we can get it back to the Imperium. "Let's see if we can disconnect it," I told HK, then turned to Karen and Mandisa, "see if you can find a communications console."
01000001 01101100 01100101 01110010 01110100 00100001
"Got it," Karen replied, heaving her Phased Plasma Fusil on her shoulder, "come on Mandi."
"Coming," the strawberry Elfdar called and hurried after the busty Necrontyr.
01000001 01101100 01100101 01110010 01110100 00100001
Together HK and I began the slow process of shutting down the core and disconnecting it from the central console, luckily it had its own battery and once it was free I rolled it over to HK.
"You carry it when we leave," I instructed HK, stepping back from the central console.
01010000 01110010 01101111 01111000 01101001 01101101 01101001 01110100 01111001 00100000 01000001 01101100 01100101 01110010 01110100 00100001
"Hey, this looks like the right one, help me move this," Karen said to Mandi, approaching the console in question and getting a grip on debris lying on it.
"Ok," Mandi replied, stepping up beside Karen and also taking a hold on the fallen girder.
01001111 01100010 01110011 01110100 01110010 01110101 01100011 01110100 01101001 01101111 01101110 00100000 01100100 01101001 01110011 01110100 01110101 01110010 01100010 01100101 01100100 00100001
"Be careful," I warned the pair.
01001111 01100010 01110011 01110100 01110010 01110101 01100011 01110100 01101001 01101111 01101110 00100000 01110010 01100101 01101101 01101111 01110110 01100101 01100100 00100001
"You got it?"
01000001 01101101 01100010 01110101 01101100 01100001 01110100 01101111 01110010 01111001 00100000 01100001 01100010 01101001 01101100 01101001 01110100 01111001 00100000 01110010 01100101 01110011 01110100 01101111 01110010 01100101 01100100 00100001
"I've got it."
01000011 01101111 01101101 01100010 01100001 01110100 00100000 01010000 01110010 01101111 01110100 01101111 01100011 01101111 01101100 01110011 00100000 01000101 01101110 01100111 01100001 01100111 01100101 01100100 00100001
The girder was thrown clean out of the girls' hands, both HK and I had to duck to avoid it, I heard Karen shout as I scrambled up and was sent to the floor again as Mandisa collided with me.
She rolled off me and I got a look at our assailant, a robot that looked like a real world take on a Star Wars tactical droid was currently trying to wrest Karen's Plasma Fusil from her grip.
Rising I lifted the Dominion Rod off my belt, snapped my wrist to activate it and began the Canticle of Cessation as I closed to attack the Man of Iron.
The only explanation I have for what happened next is that it understood what I was saying.
It released Karen's weapon, in fact it threw it at her, spun on its heel, ducked my first swing, dodged my second, punched me in the gut with enough force to lift me off the ground, then grabbed my ankle and threw me into the opposite wall.
HK took a few shots while my head was spinning, I realized it was trying to reach me as the world stopped spinning and I had been disarmed.
It finally had enough of dodging HK's shooting and sprinted at me, I struggled to escape the pile of scrap I was embedded in and just as it reached out to throttle me a silver flash made me blink.
The Man of Iron slammed into me, collapsing the pile of scrap I was on, but instead of trying to strangle me it beat the stubs of its arms against my chest plate.
It stopped and took a moment to process it's dismemberment, I took the opportunity to get me knee up and lever it away before it could try headbutting me.
As I did that my hand brushed something in the scrap pile, closing my hand on it I found it to be a pistol grip, the robot standing up forced my hand, I kicked it in the stomach to force it away, yanked out the weapon, aimed it and pulled the trigger in one motion.
The closest visual aid to the effect the weapon had on the Man of Iron I can think of is a cross between the Nano rifle from Red Faction Guerilla and a Necron Gauss weapon, as a rough wave of translucent amber energy erupted from the rusted barrel, enveloping the torso of the machine which then disintegrated, leaving the head free floating in front of me for a brief second before gravity exerted it's cruel hold and it fell to the deck with the arms and lower half.
I absently glanced at the weapon, which vaguely resembled a cross between an Adrathic Destructor and an actual gun, then to my companions.
HK and Karen stood further back with their weapons raised while Mandi was a few feet beyond the remains of the MoI, her Power Sword drawn and the MoI's hands at her feet.
"Mandi? First paradise world we reach, we're finding a spa for you to be properly pampered after that save," I promised her breathlessly as I clambered out of the scrap, when I looked back to my favourite strawberry Elfdar she had sheathed her sword and had this happy little smile that I knew as a sign she was holding in her joy.
"Assuring statement: the data core is undamaged, Master," HK informed me, preempting my question.
"Good," I nodded, "see if you can get that console working."
After a few minutes, during which I attempted a few repair and maintenance psalms on my new pistol and Mandi inspected her sword for damage, the console was operational.
"Inquiring Announcement: Attention, to any void craft in range of this transmission, this is Skitarius Alpha HK-47, requesting assistance and evacuation from our current location."
"I've just thought of something," Mandisa whispered to me, "why does a seventeen thousand year old Man of Iron ship have functioning life support?"
I briefly considered that but shook my head, "don't think too hard about it and be grateful."
Mandi pouted and was about to continue when the console crackled to life.
"Skitarius HK-47, this is Executive Officer Anubis of the Strategos Command Ship, Pride of Centauri responding to your distress call. What is the disposition of yourself and other survivors?" a female voice said. I couldn't put my finger on it but something about her voice set me on edge.
"Informative Reply: Myself, my superior and his two travelling companions are in good health, despite the efforts of a Man of Iron trapped in the wreckage," HK replied to the woman.
"Are you able to access a nearby airlock or hangar?"
"A melee with a Man of Iron can't have compromised the main hangar from here," I pointed out quietly.
"Affirmative statement: we can access the main hangar, though we cannot guarantee functionality of atmospheric containment measures after millennia of neglect," HK replied.
"Acknowledged, a shuttlepod has been dispatched to your location, further instructions will be provided once it has arrived and assessed the best docking location," Anubis replied, the battered console to the left lit up and we could see a small dot lift off from a medium sized lump that was squished into a much, much larger vague pinecone shape.
I felt a part of me die in fright as I realized what that could only mean.
"We're on a Space Hulk," I announced faintly, "how wonderful."
I'll forgive Karen for almost dropping her Plasma Fusil.
"Scipio?"
"Yes Mandi?" I turned to look at her.
"What's a Strategos?" Mandi asked curiously.
"Not sure," I admitted, though the word Charlemagne came to mind for some reason, although I hope that's wrong, "any idea HK?"
"Uninformative reply: I apologize but I only know that word is connected to Project: Charlemagne," HK replied apologetically.
And there goes any hope of the Universe not shitting on me any further, "Shit."
"What's wrong?" Karen asked, lightly concerned.
"Project: Charlemagne was AdMech's one attempt to reconstruct a Golden Age AI, the Titular Charlemagne, it was a total failure and is the main reason AdMech is rabidly Anti-AI," I explained, as anti-Marsist as I am I'm going to pay attention when they warn not to meddle with shit like that.
"Why? What was wrong?" damn your insatiable curiosity Mandi.
"Charlemagne had been infected with three different strains of Scrapcode, the attempt to recombine the pieces led to the three strains reactivating and AdMech's containment measures were overwhelmed in seconds. Charlemagne was a Warmind-class Strategic Defence AI, although dedicated to defending Mars it could access defence assets across the Sol system, the Scrapcode ravaging it caused the fragments to engage a scorched Earth protocol and deploy the remaining defence assets against the surface of Mars, the only good news was the vying fragments confused the targeting data and none of the populated areas were hit except the server facility. What little terraformed parts of Mars had survived the Old Night were reduced to radioactive dust bowls in seconds," I explained, my mood dark.
"I can see why the toaster fuckers would hate AI after that," Karen observed.
"So where does the Strategos come into this?" Mandi asked.
"I can only assume they're a related project to Warminds," I admitted after a moment, unable to come up with a better explanation… unless Mars had encountered a Strategos in the past?
"Inquiry: does that mean we're still accepting their offer of rescue, Master?" HK asked, watching the blip moving closer with every second.
"We're on a Hulk, we've little chance of finding edible food here, much less hygiene facilities, and it's usually best to seek safety in numbers on a Hulk so we're kinda out of options," I surmised.
"So what for the AI?"
"Wait for the AI," I confirmed.
Something told that this may be the most normal day I'd have in a long time.