Sunlight, Wings and Love
Yume
The streets are dark and empty. Only the faint glow of the lamps dotting the path ahead of me guide me forwards. I am alone with my school bag and my thoughts; Neither make for particularly good company.
Grandfather's home is only a few blocks away now but, somehow, these streets feel unfamiliar to me without the light of the sun filling them with life. The air is heavy with the heat of the final days of Summer, defiantly refusing to give way to Autumn without a fight. My uniform is restrictive and uncomfortable, but Grandfather had not specified what to wear when he requested my presence and it seemed like the safest option. Yuzu would have worn something distractingly practical if she were in my shoes.
A low rumble of a car engine cuts through the quiet residential area and, almost instinctively, I adjust my tie and check that there are no creases in my skirt. Everything must be just so.
My shadow stretches far in front of me, then quickly pivots away from the road as the headlights draw closer. I do not need to look around to confirm that it is meant for me; the sound of the car slowing down does that job on my behalf. The black saloon stops alongside me and the back seat window slides down an inch or two.
"Mei." Grandfather's voice beckons me inside.
I wordlessly pull the door open and step in, yet it is not the sight of my Grandfather that greets me in the neighbouring seat: It is me.
Or rather, another me. This Aihara Mei is both completely identical and completely different at the same time. She is wearing a dark purple cocktail dress with a skirt that stops just before the knees, accented with a short white jacket and a string of pearls that fall just below her collarbone. Her hair is elaborately styled to round off a look that seems completely alien to me. This Mei… is she really me?
"Good timing, I was just on my way there. Let's go together." Her lips move but the voice is not my own; it is Grandfather's. She speaks and I hear only his words.
I've been here before. Last time, it felt like the point of no return. I look down at my uniform for a moment and then back up at her, still awaiting some kind of an acknowledgement from me. I nod my head and hope nothing more is asked of me.
"It is vital that you do not let this opportunity go to waste, Mei." She speaks again with his voice. "...The legacy of our family depends on building good relationships, there's no way around it."
All I can muster in response is a "Yes". I do not know how to address the person before me.
"I trust that you know that upholding the Aihara name also means avoiding the wrong relationships." Her expression grows stern. I should be familiar with that face; I've used it many times. Yet I cannot face her and I cannot face him.
"Answer me, Mei."
"...Yes"
"Good. We're almost there now."
The remainder of the short journey is mercifully silent, though she continues eyeing me up and down like an outfit on a rack or a cut of meat at a butcher's shop. Part of me wants to open the door and run away at the earliest opportunity, but I am immobilised. My actions do not feel entirely my own any more.
We finally pull up in the shadow of an imposing yacht. It's just as I remember it: Proud yet somehow grotesque.
I wait for the other me to exit the car and once she does, I feel her standing over me, aided by an uncomfortably high pair of heels. She looks so effortless. Is this the me that I wished to convey when I was last here?
As we approach the boarding ramp, something suddenly catches my attention as it floats by in the murky water below. I can barely see it, but I'm familiar enough with it to know what it is: Yuzu's notebook. It had been soaked before when she threw it into a pond, then it had been dotted with my tears when I wrote that letter to her. The words I could never bear to speak to her in person.
"What are you doing, Mei? They're waiting for us!" She calls out to me and still, I only hear Grandfather's voice. The incongruity of it feels less jarring with each syllable that leaves her mouth.
I look back up to see her halfway up the boarding ramp, face painted with the half-frown I use whenever someone is wasting time at a Student Council meeting. I know what awaits onboard and what is expected of me. My purpose is to inherit the Aihara name. It has always been my purpose.
I glance back down at the notebook as it floats away in the dark waters. Grandfather's voice calls out to me but I do not process the words. Without thinking, I jump. I have retrieved this book, Yuzu's book, from the waters before and I will do it again.
My senses become overwhelmed as soon as I hit the water; The water is freezing cold, I rapidly blink to try to restore my vision, I can distinguish no clear sounds. The current is stronger than I expected and I find myself being pulled along by a power that is not my own. Once I shake off the initial shock, I look ahead at the notebook floating ahead of me and try to maneuver myself closer to it.
Once I draw close enough, I grab it with both hands and pull it towards my chest but, once I look back up, I realise that I have been pulled further away from the relative safety of the edge of the river. I struggle against the current to no avail; I cannot let go of the book but I have no chance of reaching the shore without using both of my arms.
I look up ahead and spot a jetty in the direction the current is pulling me in. A figure is standing at the end as though waiting to rescue me. I cannot see him clearly but I do not need to. I know who he is. The perfect posture, the air of pride, the piercing gaze. It is my father, my sensei, as I knew him before, the man I had always looked up to as a child who then departed from my life in a blur.
As I draw nearer, he slowly bends down and offers a hand. I reach out to grab it and my motion is temporarily halted once I take hold. I feel his loose grip on my arm begin to slip away as I will him to pull me up but he does nothing. I catch a glimpse of his stern face looking down at me beneath his slicked-back hair. He seems almost indifferent. The tug of the current grows even stronger and his grip finally breaks completely, though his expression does not change.
At once, the rush of the water takes hold of me once again and I feel myself being dragged away, notebook still clutched tightly to my chest. I try to look back at Sensei but he is already gone.
After struggling once more, I give up and let the river pull me beneath the surface. My vision goes black. Then nothing.
An indeterminate amount of time later, I feel my senses return to me. My body feels heavy but I am still now. I hear the sound of rushing water behind me and, once my vision has returned to a semi-functional state, I look back and see that the river has deposited me… somewhere. It seems vaguely familiar, but I do not know for definite where I am.
I find the notebook next to; It is slightly crumpled yet completely dry. I read the cover: The Great Operation to be Happy Love Love With Mei. Only Yuzu could write something so ridiculous with complete sincerity. The thought of her brings some warmth back to my cold body and I find the strength to pull myself up to my feet.
My school uniform is tattered and dirty, almost indecent. It is not a look befitting the heir to the Aihara name and the Student Council President and yet it somehow feels right, like something I should be wearing. I am unconcerned with how I look.
I take a few uncertain steps before finding confidence in my balance and head away from the river, back in the direction of the city streets. As the sound of flowing water behind me grows quieter, I become aware of a new sound. I strain my ears to hear it.
THUD THUD THUD THUD THUD THUD
The beat is steady and repetitive.
I head in the direction of the sound and it soon becomes louder and clearer as it echoes through the anonymous city streets. I round a corner and finally see a building I recognise, though it is not quite as I remember.
The Aihara Academy before me is not the gleaming crown that has brought so much pride to my family, but a drab and dirty slab of concrete barely distinguishable from the properties around it. The walls seem higher too, too much so for even the most daring and enterprising of students to climb over now.
I look to the gates, now a more twisted mass of black iron bars, and find the source of the beating sound: An endless stream of Academy students marching in perfect harmony down the street and through the gates. I move closer to see if I can recognise any of them but it quickly becomes apparent that none of these young women have faces. Their hair, their skirt lengths, their height, everything is exactly the same. It is impossible to tell one from the other, never mind assign a name to them.
I move to get a better glimpse inside the school grounds and see him there at the gates where Grandfather would always stand, where I wish to one day stand: it is Udagawa, my former fiancé. Behind the glasses is a face with little more expression than the students filing past him. I do not know whether to feel spite or pity.
Suddenly, a strong wind picks up, rushing past my ears and forcing me to cover my face. I catch a glimpse of the dark clouds above the city rapidly parting to make way for irrepressible rays of sunlight. The sound of the wind is replaced by something even louder and more intrusive, like the flapping of the wings of some giant bird. The sunlight grows more intense and I am forced to squint.
Mei opened her eyes with some difficulty, the early morning light streaming in through the thin curtains of the bedroom. She slowly turned her head to look at the alarm clock; it was too early to think about waking up to get ready for school. She sighed quietly, but not quietly enough. There was a dull ache in her head as she tried to hold on to the details of her dream as it slipped away from her memory.
"Can't sleep, Mei?" Yuzu whispered, peering over the edge of the bed at her.
Mei could see nothing but Yuzu's silhouette looming above her, breaking up the light filling into the room. Her futon was on the floor, partially in the shadow of the bed. Her eyes adjusted and she was able to make out more of Yuzu's features in time to see her yawn lazily before rubbing her eyes.
Mei shook her head in response to the question.
"Well… if you want… it's probably more comfortable up here than it is down there." Yuzu's voice held a touch of sweet trepidation and while the words hung in the air, she offered Mai a small lopsided smile that carried as much shyness as it did warmth.
Mei had long learned to always expect kindness and affection from Yuzu, but she had never been one to take such generosity for granted. She was still struck by crippling embarrassment when trying to express how she felt but at that moment, on the cusp of a new day, her desire to be brave burnt fiercer than the red colouring her cheeks.
"Yuzu..." She replied meekly, her voice strangely soft to her own ears. Immediately, Yuzu's green eyes stopped hiding and focussed on her.
"...Thank you." She spoke once she had Yuzu's full attention, once she could see her words on her face, the smile they had earned her was far too bright for so small a sound. She had no time to struggle over any supposed inadequacy of hers though as Yuzu had dropped by her side, bringing with her the scent of her favourite shampoo, strawberries and vanilla.
"Let's fold this… put it away..." It took Mei a moment to decipher Yuzu's intentions. At first, she nodded dumbfoundedly and, once she recovered her wits, she promptly slid out of her bedding and joined Yuzu in folding the futon.
She smiled at the beautiful mundanity of it all and she was smiling still when her head found the pillow as she lay on the bed, curled up on her side with her hands tucked under her chin, Yuzu mirrored her pose and Mei let herself drift into her green eyes as Yuzu looked at her with patience and understanding.
Her eyelids became heavy as sleep pulled at her once again. She struggled against it, blinking and breathing deeply, unwilling to leave such a sweet moment behind.
"You should get some sleep, Mei."
Mei nodded, her struggle against sleep coming to an end on the soft whisper that was Yuzu's voice. Another smile tugged at her lips. Sunlight and wings. She closed her eyes with a sweet sigh.
Turnabout
As sunlight retreated from the room, Mei found herself checking the clock on the wall opposite her far too often. For once, she wished the Student Council meeting to be over sooner rather than later, eschewing her usual habit of wringing every last minute out of the allotted time. The present became nothing but a faint echo as Himeko's voice grew dull and distant.
Mei's mind kept drifting back to the conversation that she'd had with the head maid of the Aihara household earlier that morning; the conversation surrounding her Grandfather's health had been a troubling one and the information delivered by Tamura-san could have only generously been defined as scarce.
A fainting spell of some unspecified nature had hit Grandfather during breakfast and, while the doctor had not been particularly worried about the episode, Mei could not quell the unease agitating her heart. In truth, she had wished to forego school for the day and head to the Manor at once, but her Grandfather had specifically requested her to attend to her duties and only visit after the end of the school day.
Perhaps his request hid an unspoken reproach. Mei could not say for sure, as Grandfather's actions, while always carefully considered, were often mysterious in their true intent.
Mei found herself asking Himeko to repeat what she had said once she felt her gaze on her. It was a rather innocent request for most, yet a fairly odd one when coming from her, as she had very rarely failed to give the Student Council meeting her full attention in the past.
Himeko succeeded in maintaining a neutral expression, allowing only a light touch of concern to pinch her brow, the change far too subtle for Sayaka-san and Miyabi-san to notice. Himeko was generally not known for her subdued reactions but Mei knew her to be far more nuanced in her expressions than she was usually given credit for.
Sayaka-san and Miyabi-san had only recently joined the Student Council and, while Mei had had little trouble in ascertaining Sayaka-san's character, Miyabi-san kept proving far more difficult to decipher. She had not been at her sharpest when appointing them, mind and heart split between her duty to uphold the Aihara legacy and the ineffable need to have Yuzu in her life. Now she could only hope to not regret her decision.
"The sewing club president requested permission to utilise the club room and equipment during the weekends in the months preceding the national fair, Kaichou." Himeko repeated dutifully.
It was a rather reasonable request, one that passed unchallenged much to Himeko's delight. Mei's childhood friend had a keen interest in the craft for as long as she could remember and probably would have joined the sewing club herself had she not felt the need to diligently support her with the Student Council.
At the time Mei had not given the fact much thought. Back then, she had been indifferent to everything that was not directly related to keeping the Academy ready for her father's return. Now that her sight had gained a much wider scope, she had no trouble admitting that having Himeko by her side had been a tremendous help over the years, though she sometimes questioned whether she should have been more forthright in encouraging her friend to pursue her own interests.
Another matter resolved, Himeko put the Academy stamp on the paper in front of her. The wet thudding sound made by the stamp as it hit the paper reminded Mei of another late morning, one spent sharing a leather chair with Yuzu, between kisses and the elation of having just left her own mark on the Academy's history.
Living in the past was unwise, Mei reminded herself as her eyes found the clock again. Finally. She quickly brought the meeting to a close and was already packing her belongings away with haste when Sayaka-san called out to her.
"Kaichou-san" The ever-present frown on her forehead hardened with determination as she set cold filled eyes on Mei. "... I would like to revisit a previous revision to the rules around school uniform, specifically the one allowing students to wear their uniform in public after the school day has finished. I know it was made recently but..."
Mei maintained a neutral appearance, despite finding herself mildly frustrated both by the delay and the fact that the Council member had not brought the issue up in a more formal setting. In truth, Sayaka-san was far from troubling as far as opposition went. She was not sincere like Yuzu, instead mimicking many other students hoping to make a name for themselves or get into the good graces of the President. Still, it was her duty as a senpai to listen and to challenge the younger students in a bid to make them grow.
"Hikami-san, the decision you wish to discuss has already been ratified." Mei hardened her gaze, halting the girl's ongoing protests upon her lips. "While I share your concerns about student safety and upholding the reputation of the Academy, we have yet to see any incidents concerning these things. There is a practical consideration to be made for students who have to travel some distance to get to and from school and, while we still encourage students to change out of their uniform at the end of the day, having that be a formalised rule is not a reasonable ask for every single student."
Mei saw the frown on Sayaka-san's forehead deepen and sought to reach a compromise of sorts.
"Nevertheless, things do not have to exist in perpetuity and it is certainly something worth discussing more at the next meeting, if that is agreeable to you.
Mei took a moment to study Miyabi-san as well, as always sitting by Sayaka-san's side. She had been nervously fidgeting with the strap of her pencil case from the very start of the meeting. Mei did not know the girl particularly well and found herself questioning whether she, like Himeko, had opted to join the Student Council purely out of loyalty to her friend.
"Do you agree with Hikami-san, Sakuraba-san?" Mei asked the shy girl, unsurprised to see her struck with panic. She had no desire to bring her any unease but the Student Council needed strong, confident and diverse voices.
"I..." She gave Sayaka-san a pained look while tugging at the lapel of her cardigan with nervous hands. "I don't think I do, Kaichou-san."
Curiously, the answer did not seem to surprise or annoy Sayaka-san in the least, as though the pair of them had already discussed it privately beforehand. Then, as if forgetting about Mei and Himeko's presence entirely, Sayaka-san stood, gathered her things and invited Sakuraba-san to walk home with her.
Another matter settled, at least for the moment, the present slipped away from Mei's mind once more. Mentally, she was already halfway to the Aihara Manor as she took her leather bag and rose from the chair.
Planning to ask Himeko to tidy the room, she turned toward her friend, but the request remained stuck in her throat as her head instead snapped toward the door, her attention snatched by the clear sound of Yuzu's voice as the girl collided with Sayaka-san and Miyabi-san at the room's threshold. A flutter of apologies followed, though none were spoken by Sayaka-san as the girl left in a huff, leaving Miyabi-san to exchange bows with Yuzu.
Mei found herself blinking, as if stuck by sudden light. Yuzu's presence was as loud as her smile was bright. Yuzu stepped into the room, school bag slung over one shoulder, bright red bow bouncing loosely about her collar, and golden hair gathered to one side along the soft curvature of her neck; she was more than just beautiful, she was carefree and ardent, a promise of freedom being fulfilled.
"You're still here, Mei." Yuzu breathed in deeply, her face slightly pink from exertion.
"I hope you didn't break the no running rule while coming here, Aihara Yuzu." Himeko's eyes narrowed as she crossed her arms tightly over her chest.
Yuzu answered the question with an embarrassed smile and a quick apology before turning toward Mei with eager eyes. "I'll come with you, Mei."
Her confusion must have been plain across her face because Yuzu was quick to further clarify her words. "To see Grandfather."
Mei froze, as if stuck by sudden lightning, her breath caught in her throat as a wave of contradicting emotion flooded her. The thought of having Yuzu by her side eased her anxiety a great deal, yet the thought of bringing her to the manor troubled her deeply.
The world the Aihara family inhabited was built upon perception rather than sincerity,
a maze of social rules holding no value but the value assigned to them by the elites. It was not a dance she ever wished Yuzu to ever take part in, selfishly so perhaps, as she would rather Yuzu to remain ignorant of such things.
As Yuzu found her eyes with her own, Mei was swept away by the determination animating her gaze, for it held a sort of unyielding calm that made her fears feel like childish whims. Still, the manor seemed to possess the power of draining people's bravery; and her Grandfather might see Yuzu's presence as a challenging remark.
"I think it's a wonderful idea, Mei Mei." Himeko stole her away from her thoughts, her voice unusually grave as she nodded slowly to herself. "If she is with you, she won't be able to get in trouble."
"As much as it pains me to say this…" Himeko heaved a deep sigh before turning toward her, surprising her with a serene expression rather than a serious one. "You should always keep her close, Mei Mei."
"I… I see." Mei said under her breath, the implications threaded within her friends' words were far too sweet for her mind to fully grasp at the moment. She would have to revisit them at a later time.
"It's decided then." Yuzu pumped her fist through the air. "Let's go see Grandfather, Mei."
A warm hand wrapped around her own, the grip firm and gentle at the same time and Yuzu tugged her toward the door, turning briefly around to wave goodbye to Himeko.
"Aihara Yuzu." Himeko thundered, halting their progress.
"Huh?" Yuzu tilted her head, and gave the petite woman a questioning look.
"Make sure to remind your pink haired cohort that lunch is not meant to be had on the rooftop."
Yuzu offered a quick nod and a peace sign to the Vice President. Mei could only marvel at how carefree and positive she seemed to be about all things.
Testudinem Formate
The Aihara family manor made for an imposing sight. It stretched wider than any other building on the street and stood taller as well. The ways of high society still eluded Yuzu for the most part, but she had learned that people from that world were willing to make statements out of everything, and so the size of the manor, its elegant architecture and the starkness of its dark bricks were to be taken as a warning be heeded. Even the lack of flowers in the garden was a message.
Yuzu had never been one to strictly follow rules though; the only time that the manor had intimidated her had been during Mei's self-imposed exile, like a sinister castle from some kind of fairytale.
"I'm sure that Gramps is okay, Mei" She offered to the silent girl walking by her side.
Mei was not carrying herself with her usual poise, with her slightly dipped shoulder and the downward set of her brow making for a forlorn sight.
"He wouldn't have asked you to finish your school day before seeing him otherwise." Yuzu filled the silence but as they stepped through the manor gate, Mei's pace became hesitant and after a few more steps, she stopped walking altogether, tipped her head back and stared at the building in its entirety. A frown appeared on her smooth forehead as she contemplated the sight.
"Grandfather has always paid little attention to his health." Guilt tinged Mei's voice, somehow making her sound younger.
"... but aren't you and Mama the same, Mei? It's a family trait." Yuzu pointed out playfully.
The comment did not have the desired effect and Mei's expression remained tense. There was little Yuzu could do but move slightly closer to the girl. It was all the comfort she could offer at the moment, as the closer they got to the manor entrance, the more distant Mei felt to her.
As expected, they were greeted at the door by Tamura-san. Yuzu had seen the head maid before, yet Tamura-san's face still did not feel familiar. Her perennial expressionless face failed to leave an impression and while she always acted with the utmost courtesy, her complete dedication to professionalism left little room for any warmth. Yuzu was not surprised that her grandfather would expect and likely even demand such conduct.
Tamura-san stowed Mei's coat and bag in a discreet closet in the foyer with practiced ease before moving to do the same for Yuzu. Yuzu suddenly felt a great need to inject more life into the situation, perhaps to break the monotony of the moment, or out of a need to be there for Mei.
"Thank you!" She said, smiling brightly at the maid while passing her her belongings. While Tamura-san's face betrayed little emotion, her eyes grew a little wider, almost imperceptibly so. It left Yuzu slightly confused but she let the matter go without further thought.
Before she knew it, the both of them were following Tamura-san, striding after the petite yet surprisingly brisk maid through one of the many hallways of the Aihara Manor. Tamura-san was barely taller than Nene, but her short steps drummed a speedy rhythm into the floor, one that had her long dark skirt dance around her ankles.
Once they reached the main living room, Yuzu realised that she had not taken her eyes off the woman's back once, but forgetting to study her surroundings had been a blessing, since the manor pristine emptiness never failed to make her disquiet.
She led them to the main living room and directed them to take a seat on a large brown leather sofa, which had an identical counterpart on the opposite side of a simple yet elegant coffee table. Yuzu followed Mei's lead, taking a seat next to her. Armchairs with the same finish were placed at either end, providing plenty of seating for social events that she struggled to imagine the Aihara patriarch hosting with any enthusiasm.
Placed on the table in the centre of the room was an exquisitely decorated tea seat, white and glossy, adorned with deftly-painted scenes of rolling blue fields. Another maid must have been instructed in advance to prepare it upon their arrival, doubtless making themself scarce via some other exit moments before they made their arrival. Being so organised surely helped to run things smoothly, but Yuzu was still unsettled by the lack of spontaneity to be found within such a well-oiled machine.
Yuzu moved without thinking, leaning forward to take hold of the teapot. Mei enjoyed drinking her tea when it was still scorching hot. Her hand almost collided with Tamura-san as the maid reached for the handle herself.
Yuzu withdrew her hand and, while Tamura-san showed no emotion, she could not help but think the woman was annoyed by her actions. After that, she returned her attention to Mei but the moment their eyes met, Mei hid her face in her freshly-poured cup of tea as though startled by such a flagrant breach of protocol.
The maid proceeded to fill her cup next with flawless precision; Yuzu held out her hands to receive it and straightened her back, eyes focused on the steam rising from the tea. A bow then quickly preceded the sound of Tamura-san closing the door behind her as she left the room, which pulled Yuzu back into the moment and, as she stole a quick look at Mei, a blush flushed her cheeks.
"I'm sorry, Mei." An embarrassed laugh tumbled from her lips as she studied the floor patterns. "...I'm not used to-"
"That is so like you, Yuzu." Mei's quiet and gentle voice surprised Yuzu, the tenderness of the tone had Yuzu look at her once again. The cup had lowered below her chin and Yuzu saw the unmistakable shape of a smirk upon Mei's lips as she gazed into the cloudy liquid.
"I do not mind in the least." Mei said while placing her tea cup back on the table with the utmost care.
The elegance of her pale slender fingers stole Yuzu's eyes; she followed Mei's hand as it returned to her lap. Her gaze traveled up her torso and lingered on the long and graceful curvature of her neck for a long moment before setting on her visage.
"You're always trying to help out however you can." Mei shifted her head away from Yuzu's attention, as though trying to conceal something. "It's something I admire."
Yuzu's chest tightened and her throat closed at Mei's words; Mei's admiration could only render her speechless. The feeling in her chest was not one of embarrassment, but the flutter of a heart that no longer belonged to her entirely.
"Yuzu?"
It was only when Mei called her name that she took notice of her questioning gaze, but before she could even entertain the idea of formulating a response, Yuzu saw Mei's gaze shift towards the door with catlike speed. Yuzu could hear slow rhythmic footsteps heading in their direction. Something sounded off though. She strained her ears.
One… Two… Three feet?
It all became clear when the door opened and their Grandfather appeared at the threshold. His laboured movements were aided by a walking stick, creating an unusual sound as he moved about. Despite his pale appearance and his shambling gait, there was no denying that the Aihara patriarch retained an air of pride and power about him.
"Grandfather!" Mei leapt to her feet at once, unsure whether to bow or to immediately come to his side. Instead, she did neither as he waved her away with the stubbornness of a true Aihara.
Grandfather made his way to the empty couch, held the walking stick in front of him to aid with his balance, and took his seat with little trouble. The action was smooth as if he had performed it a thousand times before, Yuzu could imagine the man practising his moves in order to appear flawless, the picture, while unlikely, made him seem more relatable.
In spite of his weakened persona, his imposing presence claimed the room almost immediately. it made the room feel smaller and drove Yuzu's gaze to the window, if only to be reminded that the world was far too huge for a single man to own it all.
"Should you not be resting, Grandfather?" Mei's concern elicited no visible reaction as Grandfather's expression remained a stalwart mask.
"At my age, moments of weakness are to be expected." He conceded. "I shan't let such a minor thing inconvenience me."
"Still-" Mei began and then stopped herself, as though saving her arguments for more winnable battles.
"Yuzu." Grandfather dismissed Mei's concerns and set his heavy gaze on her. His eyes were just as intense and inscrutable as Mei's. It made for a familiar sight, albeit one growing eerie with every passing second as Yuzu failed to find any semblance of warmth in his gaze and while his look was not hostile, it felt evaluating. She wondered what he truly saw when he looked at her.
"Your recent grades have been quite impressive." She was caught off-guard by the compliment and felt as though she were falling, unsure if the giddiness was due to being happy to receive such praise or a sense of nervousness brought on by the realisation that her academic performance was being monitored by him.
"Ah! Well, I have been thinking about my future a lot lately." She finally blurted out.
"A strong foundation is necessary to build a successful future" Grandfather agreed with a slow nod, the motion prompting him to pause and adjust his glasses before continuing. "Doors will either open or close depending on one's academic performance."
"Well, I still have a lot of work to do. The next exam is never far away!" She grinned nervously, consciously straightening her posture under his scrutiny,
"Of course. Things can always move in unexpected directions in spite of your best efforts." His stare hardened for a moment and his voice gained a note of regret, of self-reproach even as he continued. "It's always good to have options."
Yuzu felt his words taking root within her, his appreciation felt uncomfortably satisfying and it made her shudder. She did not miss his hostility, not in the least, but his sudden admiration stomped on her mood nonetheless.
Yuzu had a hard time reading her Grandfather, as it often happened with Mei; his gaze appeared to be set over a horizon that Yuzu could not quite spot. She tried to puzzle out what his words implied exactly, what was latched onto them, because taking them at face value felt unwise as Grandfather valued his time far too much to waste it in circumstantial acknowledgments. He was much like Matsuri in that anything he said was but a matryoshka doll, intentions stuck within intentions.
She relegated herself to observing the pair as silence fell upon the room, eager to take notice of every shift within their expressions, eager to catch the wordless exchanges taking place between the two, eager to solve the puzzle arising around her. She had learned from her time at the Aihara Academy that people belonging to the elite could hold entire conversations without uttering a single word and just as easily speak for hours while saying precisely nothing. The practice reminded Yuzu vividly of the way animals would assert their superiority by posturing alone. She had been unable to chase the analogy from her mind since watching a documentary on TV as it was a perfect fit; they might have dined with spoons made of silver but their world was a jungle.
"You father visited a while ago. He informed me about your Mother's pregnancy. The pair of you must be very excited." Grandfather swiftly opened a new topic of conversation, one fairly easy to discuss as well.
"Yes!" Yuzu clapped her hands on her thighs, slightly bouncing in her seat as she found herself smiling genuinely for the first time since setting foot into the room, the new arrival was something they all could rejoice in as a family.
The sound of her enthusiasm faded, a thick silence taking hold of the room once again. It was not a wordless silence though, and she became suddenly aware of the unspoken conversation taking place around her. It was held between Grandfather's eyes and Mei's entire self.
Mei was faring poorly, she maintained an unsettlingly apologetic demeanor, although Yuzu had no idea what Mei should feel sorry for. Gone was beautiful confidence that the Student Council President was admired for and gone was the quiet, graceful strength that let her hold up her chin in any confrontation, even those meant to demean her person.
Her place has been usurped by a girl with downcast eyes and dropping shoulders. Yuzu's chest clenched as that was an image that did not suit Mei in the least. Still she had no words to offer and the stage was quickly stolen by Grandfather as he shifted his attention fully to Mei, making Yuzu a mere spectator while removing a huge weight from her shoulders.
"Mei, I wish to receive regular updates about this. You're more reliable than your father for these sorts of things."
"Of course, Grandfather." Mei replied immediately, akin to a soldier standing to attention, straightening her posture at once.
"Another member of the Aihara family… a very unexpected turn of events indeed." Grandfather spoke in rather contemplative fashion and suddenly Yuzu realised that the same subject had always been at the forefront of the conversation, from start to finish: the legacy of the Aihara family had been the topic at hand. Her good grades and Mother's pregnancy had been taken into consideration in relation to it and little else.
The realisation saddened her, made her feel too small to stand by Mei's side and support her, although, true to her hopeful disposition, she did find a silver lining wedged into the dark clouds: no matter how slowly, she was learning to understand their language.
Of Food and Other Comforts
Mei ducked under the curtain and followed Yuzu into the restaurant. It was only a short walk from Grandfather's house but she had no recollection of even seeing the place before, let alone going inside. The interior was cramped and rustic while remaining clean and well-maintained. She stuck close to Yuzu as they made their way to a free table.
The taste of spices in the air and the mild sting of steam on her face roused her from a stupor she had previously been unaware of and once her senses were aroused, she found herself to be quite peckish. Her stomach no longer in the clutch of anxiety, she experienced a warm feeling of gratitude towards the person leading the way.
A string of low-hanging lanterns added a red glow of sunset to the golden of Yuzu's hair as they passed under it. Mei's breath caught at the sight; her fingertips tickling, she would have reached out to touch the shimmering locks if not for the makings of a sneeze startling her. Heat flooded her face when Yuzu turned around to throw a dazzling smile her way. Mei was left wondering how she had ever thought possible leaving behind such moments. She had been foolish, arrogant even. She had thought herself so wise back then while she had known so very little, a toddler in a world of adults.
She ducked her head in embarrassment with a small sigh. Her heart floundering once Yuzu's took hold of her wrist and tugged her along. The grip was loose, delicate even, an invitation to closeness rather than a tether. She followed suit, hastening her step and leaving behind her worries for the time being.
Upon reaching their seats, they stood in front of their table, unmoving and almost holding their breath, with Yuzu's hand still loosely clasped around Mei's wrist. Mei had never considered herself a particularly bold person and it was a trait she wished to rectify. She was not a particularly spontaneous person either. Her actions, while always honest, were always reasoned. She had too little knowledge of such feelings though, too little experience, lacking any frame of reference made it impossible for her to formulate how she would go about doing such a thing.
Nevertheless, Mei managed to seize onto some courage and pushed herself to slide up her wrist through Yuzu's loose grip, and once their palms came together, she closed her hand around Yuzu's. The hold only lasted a heartbeat, daring for more seemed unfair at that moment and the drumming of her heart almost hurt Mei's chest. Without a word she took her seat, raising her gaze when Yuzu did the same. She was met with a grin and a wink when she looked at her.
The table was small, intimate almost, but she managed not to avert her eyes when the heat of a blush added some warm to her cheeks. Yuzu's grin became a blinding smile at the sight. She had learned from her nightly ordeal that searching Yuzu's eyes with her own filled her with a sort of preternatural calm that seemed to contain all the answers she needed, the most important ones at least. It was something she had elected to explore more thoroughly in the future. As of now, she planned to enjoy the present.
For a simple outing to make her this happy, it almost felt unreal.
A make-your-own okonomiyaki restaurant would not have been her first choice but Yuzu had spoken of it with such enthusiasm that she had found herself longing to go there too. It was just about within walking distance of school and she presumed that Yuzu must have visited the place on occasion, most likely with some combination of Taniguchi, Nomura and Mizusawa-san in tow.
"Say, Mei." Yuzu called her attention to the menu in her hand. "Do you have any preferences?"
Mei reached for the menu at her side and lifted the plastified paper to scan the options attentively.
"Take your time Mei, I never know what to get!" Yuzu's voice drifted to her, the sound carried by a laugh. "...and getting Harumin and Matsuri to agree on something is always a trial."
Mei nodded in agreement, allowing herself the luxury of a small smile as she imagined the scene. Misuzawa and Taniguchi were constantly at odds and Nomura could be just as strong-headed on occasions. Surely, Yuzu's outings with the trio were as lively as they were loud. It did not feel like something she would enjoy in the least, yet the regret she felt over not being part of such a picture did not surprise her. She had been experiencing new yearnings as of late. A world built around the desire to have Sensei back and to honour her family legacy felt far too small at the moment.
"Seafood." Mei suggested as soon as she read the ingredients. Her cheeks became pink when she caught sight of the knowing grin curling Yuzu's lips.
Mei cleared her throat with a scowl and pointed to the menu. "I'd like to try this one."
"Got it!" Yuzu plucked the menu from her hands and placed it on the table, on top of her own, green eyes gazing about in hopes of spotting a waiter.
Food and its preparation had been considered a form of art in Japan for as long as anyone, living or dead, could remember. Mei had never paid too much attention to her meals when she lived by herself, for eating had been just a bodily process to her. As she observed Yuzu mix the batter and the ingredients in a few different bowls, she felt a great deal of respect and awe as such craftsmanship eluded her.
"Now we just need to wait for the grill to reach the right temperature, Mei." Yuzu sat the bowls alongside the built-in grill, blue tipped nails drumming the table as soon as she was done.
"Mei, do you want to make it?" She asked without warning, almost startling her. She figured out Mei's predicament without Mei needing to voice it and smiled sweetly. "It's fine, I'll make the first layer and you'll do the second."
"I'll do my best." Mei agreed quickly, embracing her new responsibility.
"That's the first dish Mama taught me how to make." Nostalgia filled Yuzu's eyes as she started talking. She smiled to herself for a moment before giving Mei an adorably sheepish look that made her heart flutter. "I was so happy that we ended up having the same dinner for a week, hehehe."
"Here we go." Yuzu poured the batter over the sizzling grill, her expression so unbearably soft that Mei could not help but lean slightly forward to better study it. Time seemed to stop and her breath caught in her throat with nowhere to go. It was the sudden watering of her eyes, caused by the delicious smell rising from the grill that started the clocks anew.
Yuzu looked at her with quickly blinking eyes, a delighted giggle spilling for her lips as she caught sight of Mei's stunned look. Not for the first time that day, Mei felt grateful for her long hair as the locks concealed her burning ears quite effectively. She was quite relieved when Yuzu handed her the next bowl, inviting her to pour the second layer as it offered her an action to focus her mind on. She carried out the task with the same steadiness she employed while preparing documents for the Board. Her determination was rewarded by a perfectly-shaped layer, at least to her unskilled eyes.
Once the dish was ready, Mei wasted no time, immediately digging into the savoury pancake with her chopsticks, making sure to trap some cabbage with her squid, a combination she particularly enjoyed. In front of her, Yuzu attacked the food with her typical enthusiasm and flourish, often humming along while chewing.
"I don't think Mama's ever been here, Mei. It's such a nice place." Yuzu mused absentmindedly whilst snapping her empty chopsticks at the air.
"We should bring Mother next time then." The words left her lips before she could notice, Mei was unconcerned by the loss of control though.
"Maybe when we visit Grandfather again!" Yuzu smiled brightly at her own suggestion, green eyes flooded with enthusiasm. "I didn't expect him to be so interested in the baby. It's good, Mei."
"Family holds the utmost importance for Grandfather. It always did." The honesty of the statement became a brick in Mei's stomach, as Grandfather's sudden enthusiasm held a duality she was unwilling to acknowledge just yet, though she did not doubt that Yuzu had noticed his inferences too.
"And it must be depressing being in that big house by himself, right? I would feel so lonely."
"He is used to it, I think." She replied quietly, the sweetness of Yuzu's compassion tightening her chest.
The Aihara Manor had never been intended for a single person. Grandfather's solitude had never been his choice. Mei straightened her back, her heart lurching between her desire to open up to Yuzu and the embarrassment that voicing her emotions caused her. She steeled her resolve and forced breath into her lungs, intent on stopping the words forming in her mind from dissolving before she could make a sentence of them.
"I do wish Grandfather would allow me to share in his burden more." She spoke quietly, her words a secret that she too was discovering for the first time.
"I can no longer ask for Grandfather's trust, Yuzu. The future of the Aihara Academy depended from my marriage and I…" Her voice trailed off and while she tried to lift her head and look at Yuzu, something akin to shame held her head down.
"I don't quite understand your world and its rules, Mei." Yuzu wondered gently, the lack of judgement in her voice soothing away part of Mei's guilt.
"...But I know how much you admire Grandfather and I know how important the Academy is for you, Mei. You shouldn't give up."
Mei lifted her head then, she had expected to hear words of understanding, hoped for them at least, but what she found made for an incommensurable treasure instead. She studied Yuzu's face in silent awe, her features had tightened in a confident expression that suited the beautiful angularity of her face; the high set of her eyebrows gave her a trustful and open expression and made her eyes look even bigger. She grinned at Mei, unconcerned by her lack of response, and tilted her head to give her a look that conveyed nothing but certainty.
"You changed the rules before. Didn't you, Mei?" Yuzu tugged at the lapel of her uniform with her free hand, her cheeky grin on her lips stretching into a blinding smile as Mei accepted her words. "I think you can do it again."