Swapped

The Feast & the Legend

Sakura thrilled at the feeling of A/C blasting down on her as she stepped into her room at the Kage tower. She immediately threw herself onto the fluffy bed that was all hers. She had abandoned Kakashi to deal with Kankuro on his own once they'd received the keys to their respective rooms. She was confident the great Hatake Kakashi could handle himself.

Kankuro was harmless anyway, she reasoned; mostly to counteract the guilt that was starting to seep into her hubris. It serves him right, she thought spitefully. For what, having the audacity to sleep soundly while you had a crisis in the middle of the desert? Another voice inside of her said. She groaned to herself.

"Damn it." She whispered when the guilt finally got to her. She stood up, intent on going next door and apologizing to Kakashi for throwing him to the sharks. That was, until she heard a high-pitched giggle coming from the hall outside her door. She frowned. She did not laugh like that.

"Kankuro…stop it! You're so bad…" Her own voice said through giggles. Sakura opened the door with so much force it nearly flew off its hinges. Standing on the other side, hands on his hips and eyebrow raised, was Kakashi. Kankuro stood behind him, arms crossed over his chest, looking unimpressed but mildly amused.

"I deserved that." She conceded after a long moment of silence. Satisfied, Kankuro shrugged and headed off down the hall with a wave over his shoulder.

"See you at dinner tonight." He called out before he turned the corner and disappeared. Kakashi was still stood in front of her, displeased as ever. With a small sigh, Sakura opened the door wide enough to let Kakashi in.

"Why would you sic that sand brat on me?" He demanded once the door closed behind her.

"Aw, c'mon, Kankuro's not that bad." She admonished, knowing it was a lie. She liked hanging out with Kankuro, but he was a voracious flirt. A Kiba of the Sand, if you would. She knew how to handle it, but she knew it was cruel to subject Kakashi to that.

"He grabbed my ass!" Kakashi shouted, blushing and infuriated.

"Yeah, he's a little handsy." She said with a sigh. "Are you sure it was him, though? Sometimes he uses the puppet…" She suggested, though Kakashi did not look comforted by the idea of being fondled by a doll.

"Have you…" Kakashi started, but trailed off as he weighed his next words. He looked a combination of curious and disgusted, "have the two of you…been together?" He said slowly with deliberation. Now Sakura was blushing.

"No!" She said immediately. "He's just…"

"Friendly?" Kakashi supplied doubtfully. "You have many friends, Sakura-chan." He pointed out sarcastically. If Sakura didn't know any better, she'd say he was jealous.

"And you're an ass." She retorted. "Honestly, Kankuro has carried a little torch for me since I saved him from Sasori's poison." She admitted with a little sigh. "But he is just a friend." Kakashi hummed vaguely before plopping down on her bed. "Hey! You have your own room; get your sweaty butt of my bed!"

"Technically, this is your sweaty butt." He said with a wide grin. She felt her eyebrow start to twitch, and Kakashi took that as his cue to leave.

Once he was gone she heaved a sigh of relief. She peeled her dusty clothes off and headed for the washroom to freshen up. She hadn't been kidding about that breakfast. As she pulled her mask off, it occurred to her that this was her space, and Kakashi couldn't hide her mirrors from her now. She grinned to herself and excitedly let herself into the washroom.

"I think you're getting a little too comfortable in my body, Sakura-chan." She jumped when Kakashi materialized from behind the open door with a toothbrush in his hand. He was looking deliberately at her bare chest.

"What," she began slowly, "the hell are you doing in my bathroom?" She said with visible effort to stay calm. He ginned cheekily.

"Our bathroom." He corrected. "You'd have known that if you hadn't abandoned me with Kankuro." He said pointedly. She stormed out without sparing him another glance.

She needed to get her mind out of this body, and she most definitely needed to get this body off her mind.

Sakura was wound up tight, Kakashi noted with a short laugh as she made her escape. At first he thought she was mad she'd had to stay up all night, but that had been her choice, so he ruled that out.

Then, he thought, maybe she resented him for putting them in this situation. She'd gotten into a lot of trouble these last few days, all because he'd asked her to accompany him on this mission. He ruled that out pretty quickly as well, because Sakura wasn't the type to hold a grudge. Not for real, anyway. She'd joked enough in the past few days about how annoying it was that he'd gotten them trapped in a body swap jutsu that he was sure she wasn't seriously angry with him over it.

Realistically, he could only reason that she was undeniably, unquenchably horny. He knew the feeling. There was something horribly sadistic in being trapped in a body that made your blood run hot. It wouldn't have been so bad, except that he'd given her that accidental orgasm. He couldn't really blame her for being so agitated after that.

He decided he ought to make it up to her. He could at least help take her mind off it.

Once he finished up in the bathroom, he dressed and went to knock at her door. When she didn't answer, he took matters into his own hands and let himself in, privacy be damned. It wasn't like there was any part of her he'd never seen before. He never did understand the point of locks in a village full of ninja. But when he stepped inside her room, he was met with an unexpected sight.

He looked around the empty room in confusion. He couldn't feel her chakra presence anywhere. Had she really just ditched him? Annoyed, he left her room and started down the hall, and was promptly bowled over by a profoundly bewildered Shikamaru.

"Sakura?" He said. "How did you get here?"

"What are you doing here?" Kakashi countered. Shikamaru fixed him with a puzzled stare.

"Preparation for the chunin exams…we just had this conversation five minutes ago, when I bumped into you in the lobby." Shikamaru looked more confused than he had perhaps ever been in his life. Kakashi sighed inwardly; she really was a tricky little thing, that Sakura.

"You're sure it was me?" He asked, as if pink-haired kunoichi with Leaf headbands were abundant in Suna.

"Pretty sure." Shikamaru said deadpanned. "I know I'm going to regret asking, but what exactly is going on here?" He asked tiredly.

"I'm Kakashi. Sakura and I got hit with a body-swap jutsu while on a mission in Fang, we've been travelling in the desert for three days, we've suffered mortal wounds and countless humiliation, and now she's absconded in my likeness." Kakashi answered in one breath. Shikamaru stared at him for a moment before letting out a long breath and tilting his head skyward.

"What a drag."

Life was much easier when she didn't fear the sight of her reflection, or the sound of her voice, or any other physical attribute that had caused her extreme discomfort in the last two days. She had felt bad momentarily when she realized she'd not only stolen Kakashi's appearance, but also all their money; that guilt disappeared much as she suspected the mirrors in their shared bathroom had. At this rate, she would never see his face.

At this rate, she wasn't sure she even wanted to. She was positive he was at least somewhat attractive under that infernal mask, and she wasn't sure she could handle anymore enticement. Even if he was horribly disfigured, she was sure she'd find his face as enchanting as the rest of him. Rat bastard. He had no right.

Her first order of business was getting word to Tsunade-shishou about their predicament. Shikamaru had said he and the Sand emissaries would be heading back to Konoha in two days, so she supposed she and Kakashi would just tag along with them. Hopefully, Tsunade could organize a solution in time for their arrival. That was probably overreaching, but a girl could dream. So with the messenger hawk on its way to Konoha, Sakura was free to enjoy her two carefree days in Suna.

"Oi, Sakura!" She turned to see Shikamaru coming toward her with a knowing look on his face. She sighed inwardly. He must have bumped into Kakashi. "Eh, I don't know if you're aware, but you've got a doppelganger running around." He said sarcastically.

"Is that so?" She asked feigning innocence.

"Mm, she told me this funny story, too. Something about being Kakashi trapped in your body, and having all his money stolen?" Sakura's innocent smile didn't falter. Shikamaru sighed. "Look, I don't want to be involved. There's a feast tonight in the Kage tower and you and Kakashi have been extended invitations. Just don't show up wearing the same body." He said unenthusiastically before walking away. "Oh, and Kakashi is looking for you." he called out over his shoulder.

Yikes.

She wasn't quite ready to give up her Kakashi-free morning just yet, but she clearly couldn't roam around looking like herself. She looked at her reflection in a shop window and bid it farewell before using a henge to alter her into someone more inconspicuous. She looked at her new reflection in satisfaction. She was now a nurse named Yume who worked part-time at the Suna hospital. Kakashi had never met Yume, and would have no reason to seek her out.

Sakura had wanted to ask Shikamaru what this feast was about, but she was lucky she got what little information she already had from him. Kankuro had also mentioned seeing them at dinner this evening, but she hadn't questioned it then. Wandering the village, it became abundantly clear that all of Suna was ramping up for a massive celebration.

Everywhere she looked she saw businesses and homes being decorated with gauzy fabrics and paper lanterns in brilliant greens and blues. People were scurrying around, carrying lavish garments to and fro, and children huddled together showing each other handcrafted masks and headdresses. Sakura always knew the people of Suna to be relatively sober and subdued. It was interesting to see the village so filled with excitement.

She'd enjoyed a small breakfast alone while she people watched in peace. After a few hours of much-needed alone time, she was feeling in much higher spirits. She decided she may as well join in the festivities, despite not knowing exactly what was being celebrated. As long as there was food, drink, and pretty dresses, Sakura was pretty much sold. So she stepped into a shop boasting beautiful silky fabrics both inside and out and immersed herself in a little retail therapy.

Two shopping bags and one to-go meal later, Sakura felt so relaxed she actually sought Kakashi out. She'd been giving him the runaround for nearly four hours now, so she figured he'd likely given up and gone back to his room to enjoy the A/C and Icha Icha. She had just raised her fist to knock when the door flew open. Her own face looked at her in confusion.

"Who the hell is this?" He asked as he beckoned her in. She'd forgotten about her transformation into Yume.

"Oh, whoopsies." She said with a giggle as she dropped the jutsu and reappeared in Kakashi's body. "I brought you food as a peace offering." She said with an outstretched hand. He looked dubious but accepted it anyway.

"What's with the bags?" He asked with a nod to the two matching shopping bags in her hand. She smiled gleefully.

"There's a festival tonight—" She began excitedly.

"No." He interrupted.

"But you don't even—"

"No." He repeated as he dug into the food she'd brought him. "This is good." He mumbled around his large bite.

"Just think how good the food at the festival will be…" She cajoled.

"That would be excellent. You make quite the delivery service." He said with a grin before shoving another bite in his mouth.

"The Kazekage and Suna have welcomed us as esteemed guests; we should show our appreciation by partaking in their customs." Sakura insisted with a haughty sniff. When that didn't appear to sway him, she switched tactics. She leaned down to speak gently into his ear while he ate. "Unless you'd like me to tell Naruto what really happened with Ayame-chan at Ichiraku last month." She grinned as the colour drained from his face.

"You wouldn't." He mumbled in shock.

"I won't if you cooperate." She said sweetly. Kakashi stared at her in horror but eventually submitted. "Excellent. I got matching outfits for us." She declared as she placed the bags on his bed to show him her spoils.

"Outfits?" He repeated in horror. She tossed a wicked smile at him over her shoulder.

"Outfits." She confirmed.

Kakashi spent the hours leading up to the feast trying to guilt Sakura into leaving him behind for the evening but she was immovable. His tortured expression only seemed to please her, and every time he begged her to take pity on him she sighed happily, like it was music to her ears. He could see he wasn't getting anywhere like this; her mind was set. Maybe if he proved to be a wholly uninteresting festival partner, she would be so frustrated she'd beg him to go back to his room.

That was unlikely, he thought. For some reason, she actually seemed to enjoy his company; even when he did little else besides read and hum disinterestedly in whatever it was she was talking about. She never minded when he pretended to ignore her, or that he was the world's worst conversationalist. He realized too late into their friendship that he was comforted by her exuberant, incessantly chattering presence.

When the time came, she waltzed back into his room in a whirlwind of iridescent swathes of fabric and glittering costume jewelry. He sighed inwardly. Of course, she looked beautiful; if he didn't know her to be a ferocious Leaf kunoichi he'd have mistaken her for a princess of the Wind. She twirled dramatically, flaring out the long shimmering skirt than hung low on her hips, and all the embellishments dripping off her clothes jingled like wind chimes. She'd done it more for her own benefit than his, but he'd gotten quite an eyeful of her shapely legs during that twirl, so he wasn't complaining.

"What do you think?" She asked elatedly as she examined all the foreign things adorning her body. Kakashi hummed his approval, but his eyes were busy following the two slits in her skirt. From the tip of her toes up all the way up to her hip bone. He shamelessly let his eyes follow the sleek curves and contours of her body, her exposed waist, the smooth skin of her bare shoulders, and when he finally made it to her face she met his eyes with a raised brow and pink cheeks.

"I think you'll be cold." He said after a tense moment of wondering how to proceed after being caught eyeing her up. He briefly wondered if there was any room between those slits and the top of that skirt for underwear.

"I'm feeling quite warm actually." She said with a forced laugh. He kept his eyes on her, watching her pink cheeks and bright eyes and wondering if it was a good idea to spend his night in the proximity of those thighs. Then again, the alternative was him being far away while she walked those thighs around Suna for anyone else to admire them. He was starting to realize he might have a bit of a jealous streak. She cleared her throat and turned away from him nervously.

The view from behind was quite nice as well, he noted. He didn't have much time to ponder it before she turned back around, flourishing a long piece of shimmering fabric.

"What's that for?" He asked warily. She huffed in irritation.

"I told you, we're going to match." She said devilishly, waving the fabric in his face as if that would entice him. Or maybe she hoped to hypnotize him. Either way, it was failing. "You don't like it?" She asked with a pout.

"I do. It is a very nice curtain." He said amiably. She growled at him.

"It's a sash! You're impossible." She said as she tossed it at his head. "Look, I got you something easy and subdued, and I got a new shirt to replace the one that got shredded by Aoyagi." She wagged a threatening finger in his face. "Now transform into yourself and I will wrap you up in this beautiful fabric, and we will have a lovely evening." She demanded. With a sigh, he did as he was told. With a morsel of shame, he realized her bossiness actually sent a thrill through him. He did love a good challenge.

Sakura made quick work of draping the sash around him, and made him a little dizzy in the process, with all her turns about him and tossing the fabric over his head, his shoulder, around his back. By the time she was done he wondered if it had been her mission to mummify him. She stepped back and nodded in approval of her own handiwork.

"Very handsome," she deemed him. He doubted it. She walked through their shared washroom to her room and reappeared with what she called sandals, but looked like very sparkly shin guards. He was dismayed and enthralled when she lifted her leg out of its slit and onto a chair to buckle up the sandal. His mouth felt dry, but he figured the desert could do that to a man. He looked away when she lifted her second leg. "Shall we?" She said with a charming smile while she looped her arm into the crook of his elbow. He let her tug him out of the room, albeit reluctantly.

He felt like they could have much more fun in his room than at the festival. Top of that list was a refresher on that memory she'd shared, but maybe they could skip the genjutsu this time. That was not the first time in his life that he'd been thankful Sakura could not read his mind.

As the doors to the elevator closed, Kakashi caught their reflection in the polished brass. It seemed Sakura had as well, and her hold on his arm tightened and she grinned up at him. Every time her hands tightened on his arm, his stomach tightened along with them.

"We look so cute." She cooed. He thought he rather looked like her bodyguard, with his sash draped over his masked vest and standard uniform pants. What a laughable idea; that the firecracker at his side would need anyone to protect her.

It was a short ride down to the lobby, and when they entered the banquet hall, Kakashi was very glad for his pushy partner. He would have stuck out like a sore thumb without her meddling and penchant for shopping. He'd never tell her that, of course, but he was eternally grateful for her on the inside. The pleased, arrogant look on her face told him he didn't need to say it out loud, in any case. She already knew she had been right.

All around them, everyone was dressed far more extravagantly than Kakashi was. Sakura fit in rather nicely, far from the most overstated and not nearly as underwhelming as him. Even Shikamaru had been convinced to participate, though Kakashi was sure it hadn't taken much leg-pulling from the blonde kunoichi at his side. Or perhaps it had taken some pulling on a different appendage entirely. He decided it was best not to dwell on that. He'd really rather not picture it.

Kakashi was pulled from his thoughts by Kankuro as he saddled up to Sakura, eyeing her appreciatively and slinging an arm around her shoulders. Kakashi clenched his jaw beneath his mask. Kankuro whistled lowly.

"Now I know this isn't Kakashi." He said with a laugh, as his hand fell from her shoulder and down her mostly-bare back. Kakashi could feel his shoulders tighten and teeth grind together. Sakura was playing along, as usual, but when she spared a glance at him her eyes twinkled with recognition and she smiled knowingly. What an enigmatic smile, he thought. Clearly she knew something he didn't.

"Yes, what a clever man you are." Sakura said to Kankuro as she casually removed his hand from her person. Kakashi felt the muscles in his jaw relax fractionally. "I tried to convince Kakashi to wear a dress, but he wouldn't go for it." She said with a teasing smile in his direction. His response was a blank stare.

"I'm pretty sure you could convince anyone to do anything with the right incentive." Kankuro said, partly-joking but mostly suggestively. Kakashi thought he might crack a tooth if this continued for much longer. Sakura, bless her, was quick to realize his growing agitation.

"Well, maybe I'll investigate that a little further in future." She said as she laced her arm back around his with a salacious wink. He nearly suggested they leave and immediately get started on that. Kankuro looked stumped and silently watched as Sakura led them away to their seats at the table. There were many honoured guests of the Kazekage present, so naturally they were sat at the butt-end of the table, along with the other courtesy invitees; dignitaries' retainers, lesser members of notable Suna clans, and two Leaf shinobi who had had the most unfortunate of weeks.

Sakura, naturally, had settled in easily and was already the best of friends with the woman across from her. She was heir to Suna's celebrated Houki clan, and to Sakura's delight, specialized in medical ninjutsu. They had clicked instantly. Kakashi didn't have much to contribute to the conversation with the finer points of surgery on the battlefield being lost on him.

Sakura did try to loop him in at one point, as they discussed triage and infirmary protocol. Sakura kindly pointed out that with all his battle experience and injury, that he surely had some input. He had simply smiled and told her that with a medic as gifted as she, he could have no complaints. That had stopped her in her tracks with her teasing and with pink cheeks she went back to her conversation without him.

Then the feast was beginning. Servers came out, filling their tall, slim glasses with a thick golden liquid and placing small starter plates before the guests. Sakura looked down at the plate before her in a mix of curiosity and fear.

"Kakashi," she whispered to him, "is that…" He bit back his smile at her reaction to the scorpion on her plate. It was large and bright red from all the spice on it.

"Fried scorpion is a staple of Wind; a national dish of sorts." He leaned down to say softly in her ear. He saw a shiver work its way down her spine, though whether it was his doing or the scorpion's was yet to be seen. "You ought to take a bite. Out of respect." He said smugly, quite sure she wouldn't do it. She glared at him.

"Why don't you take a bite?" She whispered back fiercely. He grinned beneath his mask.

"Oh, but I already have Sakura-chan." He said as he watched her gawk at the chunk of scorpion missing from his plate. "You're not scared, are you?" He goaded.

"No." She insisted, picking up her skewered scorpion defiantly. Still, she hesitated with it halfway to her lips. She took a deep breath to steel her nerves, and then went for it. He nearly died of laughter when she ferociously chewed through the crunchy, tough texture. Then, the spice hit her tongue and she choked so loudly, half the room turned to look at her in surprise. Gentle laughter sounded at her expense from the Wind natives, while others fixed her with a sympathetic look. Sakura swallowed her bite down then took a generous sip of the golden liquid. Houki and another were smiling compassionately at her.

"Sorry." she mumbled quietly with pink cheeks as she wiped the corners of her mouth before fixing him with a dirty look. "You could have warned me." She grumbled as she took another sip from her glass.

"We call this pairing the poison and antidote." Houki offered. "The courses of this feast will coincide with the desert legend." She explained. Sakura's eyes widened in interest.

"You've heard the origin legend, haven't you?" The ninja beside Houki spoke up. He was smirking at Sakura as her mouth parted sweetly in a silent oh. "Really? It's a fascinating story." He said with a lopsided smile, clearly trying to entice Sakura. Beside him, Houki rolled her eyes.

"Lay off, would you, Daichi?" Houki said bitterly. "Either tell them the story or can it." Daichi looked incredibly displeased at her interruption. "Dumbass." She added under her breath. Kakashi decided he liked this woman.

"Shut up, Maiko." He bit off in reply. Kakashi and Sakura shared a look with wide eyes. Honestly, these two reminded him a bit of Sasuke and Naruto. Perhaps if they hadn't been to hell and back, this is where they would have ended up.

"So this origin legend," Sakura said, interrupting the bickering pair. "This is the story of how the desert came to be?" She asked, leaning over the table eagerly.

"This legend, at its core, is a tale of romance. As all the best stories are…" Daichi began a little too theatrically for Kakashi's taste. Not one for myths, legends and superstitions, Kakashi leaned back and continued to drink. He anticipated this would be a long story.

The promise of a good story was all the distraction Sakura needed from the scorpion fiasco. She would deal with Kakashi and his duplicity later. In the very least, the antidote portion of the poison-and-antidote was spectacular. It was light and sweet and warmed her belly. She probably should have been more concerned with her alcohol intake, but once Daichi had gotten into the tale, she was sipping absent-mindedly, completely enraptured in his words.

"The first part of the legend, the poison and the antidote," Daichi said, waving his hand at Sakura's half-eaten scorpion, and now empty glass, "begins with a disgraced prince, exiled from his home to find redemption. He was set adrift on the Great Salt Sea with nothing but his raft and his wits. Days went by, and he had no water or food. He began to pray, loudly and desperately. Countless days and nights passed, and he prayed to the open Sea, with nothing and no one in sight. He was nearly dead, his voice only a mere whisper, when he finally got his answer.

"The rocking of the waves suddenly ceased as his raft scraped against something solid. He had landed on a small mound of sand, surrounded on all sides by the sea. There was no drinkable water that he could see, but hidden among the sparse grass were critters. Starving, the prince reached for a scorpion. But the scorpion reached back and stung him, sinking its poison deep into his bloodstream. Now, his death seemed more imminent than ever before. He cried out with what little strength he could muster, for some divine intervention.

"'I could help you.' A sweet voice said to him, coming from everywhere and nowhere. 'I could give you everything you need.' It said; the sound reverberated in his head and overwhelmed him. He could feel the waves lapping at his feet as he lay in the sand, feeling the poison quickly course through his veins."

"You can't feel your veins, dumbass." Maiko interrupted, rolling her eyes.

"It's called artistic license!" He snapped. He spared her a quick glare and then proceeded with his storytelling. Sakura hid her smile behind her refilled glass. "Lying helpless in the sand, and dying, the prince found his only hope was this ominous voice. 'Please. Please help me.' He begged. The waves around his little island began to crash with more fervour.

"'I can save your life but you must do something for me in return.' The voice said, crashing down on him as the waves crashed against the sand. 'Once you are healed, find the Basilisk Queen Nagami and slay her.' The prince hesitated. Could he trade this queen's life for his own? 'Decide.' The voice demanded. Finally, he agreed. He would slay this queen in order to live. Around him, the water diminished and his mound of sand grew to an island, and then further still, until he could no longer see waves on the far side.

"Water pooled to his side, cooling his heated skin. In its gentle current, it carried a vial of some glittering liquid. The voice told him to take the vial and swallow every drop. As he did so, he felt his strength return tenfold. He had never felt so alive.

"'Return here in a fortnight's time.' The voice said, slowly fading into something distant. The prince stood and began his journey through the sand that had mysteriously emerged before him." Daichi finished with an arrogant grin as Sakura hummed softly in awe.

Beside her, Kakashi was not nearly as impressed. She could see him downing his drinks and scoping the room for escape routes. Before he could attempt a getaway, the servers remerged with the second course. Maiko smiled as the plate was placed in front of her.

"Part two," she said with a thrilled gleam in her eye, "the serpent and the sea."