I was originally going to wait to post this til later but I didn't want to keep ya waiting. This one is hard so please take care when reading and know that you aren't alone.

Piper could tell that Jay was in agony.

Jay always did his best to keep things light around her. He always had a smile, even when cases were hard or when he was exhausted. After spending so much of her young life around bad people, people with anger in their eyes and a scowl on their lips, Jay was a welcome respite.

Jay was always brave for her. He made her feel safe like nobody else in the world.

Seeing Jay sad made Piper want to cry, but she knew that she had to be brave.

Jay needed her right now.

He'd first received word of the death of his friend when he was walking back from the breakroom, cup of coffee in hand. She'd been seated on the side of his desk, working on her science homework. His phone had rang, and he answered it happily. Piper had heard him talk about Mouse before – he was an old friend from Jay's time in the rangers, and he had briefly worked for Intelligence at the same time as Jay and Erin. He was a funny guy, and a text from him usually made Jay smile.

Jay's demeanor immediately shifted as he sank into his chair, listening to what his friend was telling him. Piper and Hailey exchanged looks over the desks, both overcome with concern for the detective in front of them as they picked up snippets of the conversation from Jay's words.

One of his friends had died.

They'd killed themselves.

Piper looked around the empty bullpen, unsure of who to turn to for help. Sergeant Voight was in his office, but Piper wasn't sure if he would help or hurt. She knew that who Jay really needed was Erin.

She let out a breath when Jay's partner jumped into action. Luckily, Hailey seemed to know what to do. After Jay excused himself to the locker room, she'd immediately stood from her desk to inform their sergeant about what had happened. Thankfully, they'd been the only three people in the bullpen with the rest of the unit out in the field.

After Hailey had spoken with Sergeant Voight, the older man had come out to the bullpen to sit with Piper while Hailey went to see what Jay needed. Piper could tell that he was concerned as well, but he tried to keep things as light as he could, asking her about school and homework and the books she'd been reading.

When Jay finally followed Hailey back into the breakroom, all Piper wanted to do was hug him. Her friend looked absolutely defeated. "I'm going to drive you guys home," Hailey said gently to Piper, "Can you grab your backpack and put your coat on?"

Piper nodded and quickly did as the detective said. While Hailey spoke with Hank, Piper took the opportunity to grab Jay's hand and hold tightly. He wordlessly glanced down at her, his pulse fluttering in his palms. "It's gonna be okay," she whispered, "We're goin' home."

Erin made it home in record time. Hailey's voice on the other end of the phone had put all of her instincts into overdrive. Her partner needed her, and he needed her badly.

"Hi," she said breathlessly, leaving her briefcase on the counter and shedding her coat, "Where is he?"

Hailey gestured to the living room, where Piper was quietly seated beside her shell-shocked partner.

Erin drew in a breath when her eyes fell upon her boyfriend. Her heart ached at one glance. Her little sister was resting against his arm, tiny hand on his chest. From afar, Erin could tell her fingers were moving up and down, silently reassuring the detective that she was next to him.

Tears welled in Erin's eyes before she could stop them. "I think she's uh, keeping him from falling apart," Hailey said carefully, "Been like this since we got back twenty minutes ago. She sat with him in the backseat of the Sierra too. He hasn't spoken, really."

Erin managed a grim nod. Despite physically sitting in their living room, her boyfriend was miles elsewhere. "I haven't gotten either of them to eat anything," the detective continued, "Piper's been really good with him. I think he's still just processing it all."

"What happened?" she asked, keeping her voice as low as she could, "Did he say anything?"

Hailey shook her head. "His friend uh, Mouse, he called Jay when we were wrapping things up early. I guess he heard that one of the members from their team, Jason O'Grady, had um, killed himself. Honestly, I barely got a few words out of him." She dropped her voice even lower. "Erin, I…I've never seen him this bad."

She swallowed and nodded. "Okay. Thank you, for bringing them home." Erin paused. Jay needed her, and she needed to be there for him, but she didn't know how Piper would react or feel if she asked her to go upstairs while she talked to her boyfriend. "Actually um, do you mind staying for a bit? For Piper?"

"Absolutely," Hailey replied quickly, "Whatever you guys need."

Erin took a deep breath and took a step into the living room. She'd seen Jay in a bad place before, but she'd never seen him look so broken. She swallowed the lump in her throat, realizing that in their previous relationship, there was a high likelihood that he'd been in such a state before but hadn't allowed her to see. That alone nearly undid her but Erin took another breath. That was the past. This was right now, and right now, Jay needed her.

Piper glanced up to meet her sister's gaze, her own eyes full of worry. Erin tried to give a grateful smile to the little girl, but it didn't reach her eyes. She was so grateful for Piper's maturity in the current situation. She stroked her cheek gently before taking a seat on the coffee table in front of her partner. He still hadn't even registered she'd arrived.

"Hi babe," she whispered, placing a gentle hand on his knee, "I'm so sorry."

Erin's heart just about shattered as her partner lifted his gaze to meet hers. His eyes were red, full of pain, fear, self-doubt and heartache. "Hey," he croaked, unable to force his voice to say anything else. He just stared at her, her green eyes searching his blues as she stroked his thigh gently.

"What can I do?" Erin asked after a minute, both of her hands on his knees, "What do you need?"

"Pipes uh, needs some dinner," he managed, glancing down at his little friend who was still resting against his arm. Her gentle mannerisms were keeping him from completely unraveling, and he'd never been so grateful for her sensitivity. She knew exactly what he needed.

Piper continued to run her hand over Jay's chest. "Erin's gonna stay here with you," she whispered, offering a nod to her big sister. "And she's gonna help. I'm going to show Hailey some of my new books."

"Thank you Noodle," Erin murmured. Her little sister was a literal angel. She could tell that Jay needed the space to feel all of the emotions he was currently keeping just below the surface, and she also knew that he didn't want to let them all out in front of her.

"I love you," Piper mumbled against his long sleeve. Jay dropped a kiss atop the child's head and inhaled deeply. Her sweet scent usually helped bring him back to center, but he was so far gone that it didn't have the desired impact. Erin watched as her sister kissed Jay's shoulder before sliding off the couch to grab Hailey's hand.

"It's just us," Erin said after Hailey and Piper disappeared up the steps, "Just us." She moved from the coffee table to sit beside him, running her fingers across the back of his head, down his shoulders and arms.

"One of my guys, O'Grady, he…he killed himself," Jay gasped out, hot tears he'd done his best to keep back spilling down his cheeks, "He couldn't take it and-" Jay shook his head, unable to get any additional words out.

"I've got you," Erin promised, holding tightly to her partner as a sob rolled off his tongue, "I'm here, baby, I'm here. You're not alone."

"He didn't have anyone," he wept against her chest, "I-I have you and Pipes and Will and Hailey and the team and he didn't have anyone."

"Shh," Erin cooed, rocking gently back and forth as she continued to hold him closely. Her heart ached at just how guilty her partner felt. "It's not your fault, Jay."

"I wish I'd known," he whispered, "I just wish I could have helped him. He didn't deserve to suffer alone."

"Nobody does," she said firmly, kissing his forehead, "Nobody deserves to suffer."

"I-I used to be him," Jay managed, "I could have easily been him. The PTSD got too much and-" He stopped, sobs constricting his throat.

Erin held tighter, doing everything she could to ground him with her touch. She stroked his back and kissed his head and continued to whisper a mantra into his ear. "You're home, babe. You're safe, you're loved, you're not alone."

Jay wept hard, strong body feeling so frail as he sagged against Erin's chest, her arms around him seemingly holding him together. She held fast, her low voice keeping him in Chicago and preventing him from straying down a path of pain and suffering.

It felt hours but was probably only fifteen minutes that Jay sobbed. His shoulders drooped as Erin dug her fingers into his tightly coiled muscles, carefully massaging his tense neck and tight jaw. "I'm here, baby," she continued to murmur, "I'm not going anywhere."

Jay shuddered and sniffed, the tears finally dried up. He remained pressed against her chest, the comfort of her smell and warmth of her touch continuing to keep him in Chicago. "Thank you," he mumbled, "I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize," Erin insisted, "I'm here for all of it, Jay. Anything and everything, the good, the bad, the ugly."

"I think it's going to get ugly," he managed, "I-I might go stay at Will's or-"

"No," she said firmly, "You're staying here, with me and with Piper. We're here for you, okay? You don't need to muscle through this alone. Please, babe."

He nodded and lifted his head slightly. "But if I wake up and-"

"I will be here," she promised, "No matter what. I am not going anywhere, and neither are you. Promise me, Jay."

"I promise," he whispered, "I promise."

Piper led Hailey up the steps. "This is my room," she said softly, gesturing to the bedroom. "Erin said I could pick out the colors for everything, and I picked blue."

"Wow," Hailey mused, taking in the little girl's room. Erin and Jay had really made an effort to give Piper her own space. Growing up, Erin never had a room to decorate until she lived with Hank and Camille, and she wanted Piper to feel at home. On the advice of Piper's therapist, they chose to keep Piper's room for the time being while they got to the crux of her nightmares and focused their efforts on making the room as Piper-as-possible. "It's really nice, kiddo."

"I never had a room that was just mine before," Piper whispered. She pointed to a bookshelf in the corner. "That's where I get to put all the books."

"That's awesome," she replied, "You're going to be the smartest kid in your class."

Piper blushed and glanced down at her feet. Hailey was really nice, and she knew she was a good partner to Jay. "Is Jay gonna be okay?"

Hailey swallowed. "He is. He's really strong." She knelt down on the plush carpet that Erin had picked out for Piper's bedroom. "Erin's with him now."

"I never seen him so sad before." Piper lifted her gaze to meet Hailey's, "His heart is hurting so bad."

"I know." Hailey reached out to take the little girl's hand, "But you did such a good job today, kiddo. Really. He needed someone to sit with him, and you did exactly that."

"I wish I could have helped better," she murmured, "I don't like seeing him sad."

"I know how you feel," she assured her, "I do. He's going to need your help, and my help, and Erin's help to get through this, but he will, and he's going to be okay." Hailey felt her chest ache when she met the little girl's watery gaze.

Piper sniffed and gave a nod before wiping her eyes quickly. "I-I gotta be brave for him. So he and Erin don't have to worry about me."

Hailey held out an arm to hug the child and held tightly when Piper tentatively stepped into her embrace. "You are such a good kid," she whispered, "And you are so brave already. All you gotta do is be yourself, okay? And if you need me, you have my number."

She nodded. "It's on the list Jay gave me of people to call if I ever needed help."

Erin knocked lightly on Piper's bedroom door and poked her head in. "Hey guys," she said softly, smiling when she saw Hailey and Piper leaning against Piper's bed reading from one of Piper's books, "How's it going in here?"

"Piper's letting me borrow a book." Hailey held up a copy of The Phantom Tollbooth and offered a smile. "Everything alright down there?"

She nodded and let out a breath. "Jay actually headed out to a veteran's meeting, which is a good thing. I thought we could make some tacos tonight, what do you think, Noodle?"

Piper nodded. "Jay's coming back though, right?"

"Mm-hm," Erin confirmed, "I told him we'd save him a few. He won't be late." She glanced back to the detective, still sitting on her sister's bedroom floor. "Hailey, we'd love it if you stayed for dinner."

Hailey widened her eyes in surprise. Truth be told, she didn't want to leave without seeing her partner on the mend, but she also didn't want to intrude. "I, uh-"

"You can help us with the tacos," Piper said, "We're getting good at cooking now that we've got two recipe books."

She looked up at her partner's girlfriend and back to the little girl. "That does sound good," she said finally, "I've got a few tricks up my sleeve. I'll teach you and then you can surprise Jay."

"Jay's back," Erin said, relief evident in her voice as she saw the headlights in their driveway. After holding her partner while he sobbed, letting him out of her sight for a veteran's support meeting was one of the more difficult things she ever had to do. She was so proud of him for getting the help he needed, the help that she couldn't fully provide, but it didn't stop her from worrying from the moment he left to the moment he returned.

Piper let out a breath and leaned back in her chair. She too had been riddled with anxiety after hearing that her friend had left the house. Jay always promised her that he was going to be back and that he wasn't going to leave her, but it didn't stop the nagging voice in the back of her head.

"Hey," he greeted softly after entering through the garage, "Smells great in here."

All three of Jay's girls let out a collective breath at the sight of him. He still looked sad, eyes red-rimmed from tears and cheeks flushed slightly, but it was a far cry from the shell-shocked and broken man in the living room hours before. "We made tacos," Erin said, rising from her chair to greet her partner. "Are you up for some?"

"That would be great." He offered a smile to Piper and Hailey who were still seated at the kitchen table. "Hey guys." Jay took a tentative seat in his normal chair, "Thanks for looking out for me this afternoon."

"Are you okay?" Hailey asked carefully, "I know that might be a stupid question but-"

"I'm okay," he assured her, "The meeting helped. You guys really helped." He swallowed, "It was uh, really tough news to hear. But I'm going to be fine, I promise." Jay gave a smile to Piper, "I'm not going anywhere."

Erin placed a bowl of tortilla chips on the table and her shoulders relaxed as she watched her little sister register Jay's promise. "Good," she murmured, dropping a kiss atop his head, "Hailey taught us how to make homemade salsa. It's incredible."

Jay dug into the dip. "Wow," he exclaimed, "This is delicious."

At that, Piper cracked a smile. "I might have stolen the recipe from Voight's favorite taco place near the district," Hailey informed him, "Good, right?"

"Speaking of Voight, I uh, stopped by his place tonight," Jay said almost nervously after swallowing the snack. He looked up at Erin and then back to Hailey. "He gave me the all clear to take a few days. Tomorrow I was going to go pay my respects to O'Grady's dad, he's still out in South Bend. They're planning a service for Wednesday, I think but I'll uh, probably be back after."

Erin nodded and gripped his shoulder. She was so proud of him. "Take the time you need," Hailey replied, "Text me if you need anything, okay?"

Jay nodded. "Thanks Hails. Appreciate it."

She gave a small smile. "I better head home. Thanks for dinner, you guys."

Erin cast a grateful look to her partner's partner. She was so glad that Jay had someone else looking out for him. "Thank you for staying, Hailey" she replied, rubbing Jay's shoulder gently.

"Wait, Hailey," Piper called, pushing back her seat and hurrying to the living room to grab the book, "Don't forget your book!"

Hailey dramatically bopped her head. "How could I forget? Thank you, kiddo." She took the book from the little girl's outstretched hand. "I'll see you in a few days."

Piper waved and slipped her hand into Jay's, who had also stood from the table to see his partner off. "Hailey's borrowing a book," she explained after the detective had left, "She hadn't read it before."

"Ah," he said, giving her hand a gentle squeeze, "Now, where are these tacos I've heard so much about?"

"Heating you up some right now, babe," Erin called from the kitchen, "Do you want any more, Noodle?"

Piper shook her head. "I'm full, thank you," she said politely, "They were super good." She looked up at Jay. "Hailey taught us a way to cut the onion so Erin doesn't cry."

"Oh yeah?" Jay managed a smile, "Well, you guys are going to have to teach me next time-" He paused when a knock came at their front door. "We expecting anyone?"

Erin shook her head and removed the taco meat from the pan. "Unless Hailey forgot something?"

Jay peered into window beside the door. "It's my brother," he said in surprise when the red-headed Halstead waved from the front stoop, "He didn't tell you he was stopping by?"

"Nope," Erin shook her head, "We've got leftovers if he wants some though."

"He's always down for tacos," Jay said, pulling open the front door. "Hey man. Let me guess, you were in the neighborhood and smelled Erin and Piper's tacos?"

"You know it," he said jokingly, shedding his gloves. "Hey munchkin, hey Er." He waved into the kitchen. "I uh, I actually just wanted to come by to see how you were doing." Will looked at his brother curiously, "I was at Molly's, I heard from Ruzek that you got some bad news today. I'm so sorry, bro."

Jay just looked at his brother in surprise. The Will he used to know hadn't been there for him when he first got back from Afghanistan. The Will he used to know didn't know about the nightmares, the PTSD, the shame. But this Will had seen it. This Will had been there as he struggled after Abby, after Erin moved, after all the trauma of the job and their dad. Will pulled his brother into a hug. "I know you've got your girls," he continued, "But I wanted you to know that I'm here too. If you need me."

Erin watched from the kitchen, doing everything she could to keep her eyes dry. Watching her boyfriend's relationship with his brother blossom was one of the most beautiful things she'd had the privilege of witnessing, from their constant banter and teasing to the tough stuff. Seeing the brother who Jay had previously only talked about in passing truly become his best friend again filled her to the brim.

"Thank you," Jay managed, "I'm okay. I um, I really appreciate that you came by."

Will squeezed his shoulder. "Well it helps that your favorite girls are now my favorite girls," he teased, turning to Piper with a grin, "What's this I hear about tacos?"

Erin's heart was aching.

She'd always known that Jay struggled greatly with PTSD after returning from Afghanistan. She knew there were bad nights, before they even started sleeping together. She knew that while she was in New York, struggling to keep her head above water, Jay was practically drowning in Chicago, the weight of all he'd endured on his shoulders.

Over the past six months, Erin had gotten a glimpse into just how bad it was through brief anecdotes and the occasional nightmare, but for the first time, she had a front row seat to her partner's pain. After Piper fell asleep, Jay had tried to insist on spending the night on the couch, which Erin had adamantly refused. Instead, she watched him struggle against the sheets, her touch not having the desire effect as he fought the demons in his dreams.

It broke her heart to watch him cry out, to see him wake up disoriented and shaking with the memories, to feel his hot tears on her shoulder as she tried to provide all the comfort she could. She was so glad he'd taken time off from work, knowing just how distracted he was. No part of her wanted him out on the dangerous streets while his mind was miles away.

The nights were the hardest. During the day, Erin was amazed at how together her partner was. He'd picked up his car from the district and dropped Piper at school before heading to pay his respects to Jason O'Grady's father. He made time to meet with Dr. Kim, his therapist, and attended the veteran's support meetings in the evenings. While he wasn't his usual self, Erin was struck by just how hard her partner was trying to take care of himself.

Her little sister was a godsend. Piper seemed to just get Jay, and consistently did her best to make him feel better. When they were at home, the little girl was rarely away from his side, fully aware that somehow, the detective was more at ease when she was with him. After the veteran's meetings in the evening, Piper and Erin settled on either side of Jay, hoping that their presence would be enough to remind him that they were there.

Erin took the day off for O'Grady's funeral, and sat stoically beside her partner in the church. Jay's uniform always took her breath away, but it was the sadness and shame in his eyes that nearly brought her to her knees. She was so glad he was trying to let her in, but knowing just how hard he was struggling with the death of his friend left an unwavering ache in her chest.

"Erin." A small voice pulled Erin from sleep. "Erin, wake up."

She snapped her eyes open and looked around, immediately seeing the shivering form of her little sister standing beside her bed. "Noodle? What's wrong, sweetheart? Are you feeling sick?"

Piper shook her head, her eyes damp with unshed tears and worry. "It's Jay."

Erin wrinkled her brow and turned to her left where Jay usually slept. The bed beside her was cool and empty. "He's on the couch," Piper whispered, "He's havin' a nightmare."

She immediately shed the covers. "Thank you for waking me up," she said quickly, "Did you hear him?"

Piper shook her head. "I-I had a bad dream he left and I came in to see if he was here with you but he wasn't." Her small voice hitched, "I was gonna try to go find him but he was on the couch having a nightmare."

"Okay. Okay." Erin nodded, taking Piper's hand gently. Tomorrow morning she'd address the fact that Piper had almost left the house in search of Jay in the dead of night, but for right now, she needed to focus on Jay. "He's downstairs?"

Piper nodded and tugged Erin's hand. "I'm worried."

"He's going to be okay," she promised, "I'll be right back up."

The little girl furrowed her brow. "I want to come down with you."

Erin paused. On one hand, she wanted to spare her little sister from witnessing Jay in the midst of a nightmare and spare Jay from any concern over scaring Piper, but on the other, the child had already seen him in the depths of the nightmare and often could provide comfort to her partner. "Okay," she breathed out tentatively, "He might be a little rattled, Noodle."

Piper gave a nod of understanding and gripped her sister's hand tightly as she softly made her way down the steps. As soon as Erin saw Jay on the couch, she knew he was in the middle of a really bad nightmare. Since returning to Chicago, he'd woken up a handful of times beside her, breathing heavily as he escaped the grips of his memories. She had been able to easily talk him back down to sleep.

But this was different.

She'd only seen him so bad a handful of times, and each time broke her heart.

"Jay," she whispered, putting a gentle hand on his shoulder as he writhed against the couch, "Wake up, you're dreaming."

Erin frowned when Jay didn't rise. "Jay," she said more forcefully, giving his shoulder a shake, "Wake up. You're safe, you're home, you're in Chicago."

She jumped slightly when Jay gasped and his eyes snapped open. "Er?" he choked out, breath coming out in short and pained pants, "W-what?"

"You're safe," she said immediately, taking a seat on the coffee table while Piper remained at the edge of the couch, observing the detective from a safe distance, "You're home, babe."

Jay took a shuddery breath. "Sorry," he managed, dragging a hand over his face, "Did I wake you?"

Erin shook her head and stroked his cheek gently. "You're on the couch in the living room."

He took another breath, realizing that he wasn't in bed, but downstairs. "Sorry," Jay repeated, "I just…I'm sorry."

"Please don't apologize," Erin said as firmly as she could despite the ache in her chest, "Babe, please." She tilted his chin to meet her gaze. "You don't need to apologize to me for having a tough night. I told you, I'm here for all of it." She swallowed, "We're here for all of it." Erin reached out a hand to take Piper's.

The little girl squeezed her sister's hand tightly before placing her other palm on Jay's knee. "You don't have to be alone," she whispered, "That's why you have us."

Jay swallowed. "How'd I get so lucky?" he said thickly, unable to keep the moisture from his eyes as he looked up at his girls.

"Mm, I think we're luckier," Erin murmured, shifting from the coffee table to take a seat beside her partner. Piper followed suit and tucked herself into Jay's other side, immediately resting her head on his chest. "We love you no matter what, babe." She placed her hand on his heart, feeling his rapid pulse as he came down from the nightmare.

After a few minutes, Jay let out a soft breath. "Thank you," he whispered against the top of Erin's head. "I uh, I was worried I was going to hurt you so I thought it would be better if I slept out here tonight. Today was tough and I didn't want to-"

"Jay." Erin cupped his cheek, "I'm here for it all. You're not going to hurt me. It hurts me more to see you suffering out here alone."

He gave a small nod. "I'm trying to let you in but it's just-"

"Take all the time you need," she insisted, "I'm not going anywhere. Piper and I are here for you, okay? Whenever you're ready, whatever you need."

"I'm scared," he admitted shamefully, "I know I'm not losing you guys but if I did anything to hurt you I'd never forgive myself." He glanced down at the little girl who had drifted off against his chest. "Er she's…she's seen so much. Been through so much, both of you have. If I were the one to scare her again, either of you I-"

Erin continued to stroke his cheek as he struggled to finish the thought. "I don't want you guys to be afraid of me. Like my mom was afraid of my dad."

"Oh babe," she whispered, pressing a kiss on his shoulder, "I promise, there is nothing that is going to make me let go. You're stuck with both of us, no matter what." She stroked his jaw, tilting his head to meet her gaze.

"You're also not your dad, Jay. We know you would never do anything to hurt us intentionally." Erin scratched the side of his head lightly, bringing his cheek closer to hers. "I know we can't plan for what might happen. We don't know and I get how terrifying that is for you but I promise you, we will handle it. Piper and me, we love you, so freaking much you don't even know." She glanced over to her little sister. "She woke up from a bad dream that you left and went to find you. When she saw you having a nightmare, she came to get me. She wasn't scared, just worried."

Jay widened his eyes. "She came looking for me?"

Erin nodded. "When you weren't in bed next to me. I didn't hear her the first time, but I guess she went downstairs and saw you."

"She could have left the house," Jay stuttered at the realization that his little friend could have literally been walking the streets of Chicago just because he wasn't in bed. "Babe, she could have gotten outside and-"

"I know, I know, and we'll talk to her about that tomorrow," Erin soothed, "But she loves you, so damn much that she'd literally go against any instinct she had about staying safe in this house to go out and find you." She ran her fingers across his chin. "We'd go to the end of the earth for you, babe. A few difficult nights aren't going to scare us away."

At that, Jay relaxed slightly and dropped a kiss atop Erin's head. "My girls," he murmured, ghosting a hand over Piper's shoulder as she snoozed against him. "I love you guys."

Erin settled in against her partner with an exhale. Jay was going to be alright. "What if we get out of here for a bit?" she murmured against his shoulder, tracing circles on his chest with her fingertips, "For a few days or so?"

Jay furrowed his brow and glanced down at his girl. "You mean like vacation?"

She nodded. "For a change of scenery. Get away from the city, all this stuff. Give you a few days to take your mind off everything." Erin continued to stroke his bare skin delicately, "Piper's off school in two days anyway, but what if we pull her out early? You always talk about how beautiful Wisconsin is in the winter. We could go up there for a couple days."

"You'd want to go up to Wisconsin? In February?" Jay was surprised that his girl had offered. He thought he'd have to really convince her that the freezing cold temperatures were worth it.

"I'd go anywhere with you, babe," she murmured, "And we don't have to do it, it was more of a suggestion to take your mind off everything."

"I love you," he mumbled into her hair, "For thinking of me. I never thought I'd see the day where Erin Lindsay suggests a few days in the woods."

Erin chuckled softly. "First time for everything," she replied, "I'll even rock the snow pants for you, Halstead." She pressed a kiss on his chest, "I already took the next two days off and told 'em I might need part of next week too. We could leave tomorrow."

Again, Jay looked at his girl in surprise. He knew she took the day to accompany him to the funeral, but he had no idea that she'd put in for additional days off. "You took more time off?"

"I wanted to be there in case you needed me," she said simply, "Not just for the funeral but after too." She paused. "I wasn't there when you needed me before and I don't want that to ever happen again."

"I love you," he repeated, swallowing the lump in his throat, "I um, don't know what I did to deserve you."

"You are the best man I know," Erin whispered, "You are everything to me, Jay Halstead. You're everything to us."

Next one is lighter and sweeter, I promise. Still building to the good stuff :)