Hi guys. Yeah, this chapter is here way earlier than expected, I know. Borders closing, racing across the country only for them not to close, just ughhhhh. Anyway, I'm back home now.

Micheal in Arizona: That's great to hear! Haha, tell that to my parents. Thanks, hmm I can agree there. Well, the "I" mentioned may or may not be some big mystery I'm developing… but anyway, thanks for your review.

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Guest: Probably not, sorry if you wanted them to.

They all stared up at the screen, waiting for the second movie to begin.

Shows Privet Drive. Harry Potter sits in the window of one of the houses.

Harry looks through pages through a scrapbook, stops on a moving photo

of him, Ron and Hermione. SQUAWK! Harry jumps. Hedwig pecks

at the lock slung through her cage door, then glowers at

Harry.

"I remember Hedwig kept chirping in the early hours of the morning, but I don't remember looking through that scrapbook," said Harry.

"Well, you must have looked through it sometimes, right?" Hagrid said hopefully.

"Oh, yeah, I did," Harry promised. "But I never looked at it just before Hedwig chirped."

"And why is there a photo of you with Ron and Hermione?" Hagrid questioned. "It was all photos of your parents!"

"It was," Harry mumbled.

Harry: I can't, Hedwig. I'm not allowed to use magic outside of school. Besides, if Uncle Vernon –

"I didn't say any of that," said Hagrid.

"Man, Dad, your voice has gone through some serious change there, eh?" Albus said, raising his eyebrows at Harry, who shrugged.

At the sound of the name, Hedwig squawks again, louder.

"Oh gosh," said Harry. "Of course Hedwig must always make a big racket like that, getting me in trouble."

Uncle Vernon (O.S.): Harry Potter!

"Well, he technically didn't get mad at me until breakfast, but from what I saw when it was zooming in on me, it was night," Harry mentioned.

"Was this seriously why they put bars on your window?" Ron asked.

"No," said Harry. "Just wait."

Harry: Now you've done it.

"I don't remember saying that, but OK," said Harry.

Aunt Petunia puts the finishing touches to a pudding, and Uncle Vernon struggles with Dudley's tie, and the three of them are glowering at Harry.

"Why… why are we getting ready… already?" Aunt Petunia asked. "If it's going to show the argument, that was at breakfast."

"Welp, we're still brunettes, mum," said Dudley.

Uncle Vernon: I warned you. If you can't control that bloody bird, it'll have to go.

"Third time that week," said Uncle Vernon, remembering. "And I didn't say I'd warned him."

Harry: She's bored. If I could just let her out for an hour or two…

"And she's used to flying around outside. I asked if I could just let her out overnight," Harry corrected, rolling her eyes.

"Poor Hedwig," said Ginny.

Uncle Vernon: And have you sending secret messages to your freaky little friends? No, sir.

"I actually asked him if I looked stupid, and that we knew what happened when the owl was let loose," Uncle Vernon said darkly, shaking his head.

Harry: But I haven't gotten any messages. From any of my friends. Not one. All summer.

"Oh, come on mate, we tried," Ron said. "Just Dobby didn't let you see them."

"And, to tell you the truth," Hermione added. "We thought you had forgotten about us."

"But I didn't even say that, I had tried to protest, but I was rudely interrupted by Dudley," Harry said.

Dudley: Who'd want to be friends with you?

"Ooooohhhhh burn!" Dudley cried. "Good job, movie-me!"

"Is that how Dudley interrupted you, if you hadn't said anything about your friends?" Ginny asked.

"No," said Harry. "He interrupted me by saying he wanted more bacon."

"Then Mum was saying I wasn't getting fed well at Smeltings," Dudley said, grinning.

"Which you were," Uncle Vernon said, raising his brows at Dudley.

"You just thought it wasn't enough for your fat lump of a stomach," Harry sneered, earning scowls from the Dursleys.

"And then Dudley asked Harry to pass the frying pan," Aunt Petunia added.

"Told Harry to pass the frying pan," Harry corrected.

"Before Harry insulted Dudley by saying the 'M' word!" Uncle Vernon said dramatically.

"The 'M' word?" Hermione asked.

"Don't ask," Harry rolled his eyes.

Uncle Vernon: I should think you'd be more grateful. We raise you since you were a baby, give you food off our table, even let you have Dudley's second bedroom... purely out of the goodness of our hearts.

"Please," Harry said. "You didn't give me Dudley's second bedroom out of the goodness of your hearts. You gave it to me so the letters would stop coming to my cupboard!"

"But that scene was not in the movie, remember," said Dudley smugly. "Soooo, according to this, it was out of the kindness of our hearts."

Harry rolled his eyes and groaned. "Sooooo, according to real life, Big D, which happens to be more accurate than this" — he gestured to the screen — "you people just didn't want to let me go to Hogwarts, you gave me that room, and ickle Duddikins, you were reluctant to give me your room, because all your toys you don't even care about were in there."

"Hey, I thought we were at peace now!" Dudley said angrily. "Or would you rather a piece of me?"

"SHUT UP!" Ginny yelled, pointing her wand at Dudley. "Sit down. And be quiet. No more messing with ma hubby. Because if you mess with him, you mess with me. And trust me, you DO NOT want to mess with me. Now SHUT IT!"

Dudley stared at Ginny, then quietly sat down.

"Thanks hun," Harry said, pecking a kiss on Ginny's cheek, who was still grinning broadly.

{Aunt Petunia sees Dudley extending a finger for the pudding.}

Aunt Petunia: Not yet, popkin. That's for when the Masons arrive.

"I did not do that!" Dudley said grumpily. "And mum didn't say that, because I did not eat that, I mean, I'm not that greedy."

"Yeah, sure," said Ron, looking at Dudley's huge body, earning himself angry looks from all the Dursleys.

Uncle Vernon: Which should be any moment. Now. Let's run through our schedule one more time. Petunia, when the Masons get here, you will be —

"No, it wasn't at any moment, because the whole argument happened at breakfast," said Uncle Vernon, doing a facepalm.

"I suppose Dudley's not going to come and remember it's my birthday. My goodness, that was funny… Dudley finally remembered the days of the week!" Harry said.

"But I did remember it was your birthday," Dudley snarled angrily.

Aunt Petunia: In the lounge, waiting to welcome them graciously to our home.

"Now that was perfect," Petunia said. "Just make that woman blonde and it could have been an A plus!"

Uncle Vernon: Good. And Dudley?

"So, so bossy," Dudley said, rolling his eyes at his father. "And you said good twice."

Dudley: I'll be waiting to open the door.

"Oh, how sweet!" Mrs Mason said to her husband. "They were preparing for us to come."

"Yes, and their nephew," Mr Mason looked angrily at Harry, "dropped the pudding all of the floor. It must have been with his magic skills that we saw in the last movie."

"It wasn't me, it was…" Harry started.

"SILENCE!" Uncle Vernon snapped. "No more lies."

"You must not tell lies," came a fake sugary voice and Harry turned around to see a toad-like face in her fluffy pink clothes.

"Ugh," said Harry, turning away from Professor Umbridge and looking back at the screen.

Uncle Vernon: Excellent. {turning on Harry} And you?

"Now that…" Ron shook his head. "Gosh, Harry…"

"I can't believe you did this to my son," Lily said angrily to Petunia.

"May I take your coats, Mr and Mrs Mason?" Dudley said, imitating what he had said that morning.

Harry: I'll be in my bedroom, making no noise and pretending I don't exist.

"Pretending I'm not there," Harry corrected.

"Is that seriously what you told him to do?" Lily fumed towards her sister and Vernon.

"Er, well…"

Uncle Vernon: Too right you will. With any luck, this could well be the day I make the biggest deal of my career.

"I actually said that before we started practicing," Uncle Vernon corrected his movie-self.

DOORBELL RINGS. Instantly, Uncle Vernon shoves Harry out

of the kitchen and into the hallway.

"Oh, we didn't get to see the rest of your preparations!" Harry moaned. "Oh Mr Mason, we had to write about a hero at school, and I…"

"SHUT UP!" Dudley yelled before Harry could finish.

Uncle Vernon: Upstairs! Hurry!

"That's actually what Aunt Petunia said to me," said Petunia. "After giving me two bits of cheese for dinner and forcing me to walk on newspapers."

Lily looked ready to strangle her sister.

Harry enters, turns, and stops dead: a tiny CREATURE with bat-like ears and bulging green eyes is jumping on his bed as if it were a trampoline.

Hermione gasped. "That's Dobby!"

Dobby grinned at Hermione, and she saw he was wearing all the stuff she'd knitted, and it was all battered and worn out.

So, here we are with the first chapter of the chamber of secrets! I hope it was OK! See you guys soon with the next chapter.

And because I've been in another state (a state which had a corona outbreak) I'm off to get tested… so I'm just gonna hope I get a negative result, so yeah :/