A warm, crackling campfire.
Yummy fish caught from a nearby stream (ramen for Naruto, though).
Excitable chatter, laughing, and joking.
It was the second-ever-in-history jinchuuriki camping trip.
And Fuu was more than willing to participate in the jinchuuriki introduction thing that B had suggested.
"My name is Fuu, su. I'm sixteen years old, su. I'm from Takigakure and I love bugs like my first friend Lucky Seven, the Seven-Tailed Kabutomushi, su. I love fugu and I hate natto. My dream is to make a hundred friends and become just like my village's Takikage, Shibuki, su."
"Fuu," said Chomei. "There is no such thing as the Takikage. Shibuki is just the village leader."
"Well, I'm calling him the Takikage. He's just as cool and awesome as all the other Kage, su!" Fuu yelled, munching on her fried fish.
"Next!" yelled B. He stared pointedly at Roshi, most likely because he'd skipped out of the introduction last time.
Roshi sighed a deep, heavy sigh, as though he'd been asked to lift some mountains or go find the Dragon Balls. "My name is Roshi. I like farming, peace, and quiet. I dislike annoying people who talk too much. The end."
"Wow, that was short," Naruto remarked. "You didn't mention any of your favorite foods, ya know."
"Next!" Roshi yelled.
Next up was Han.
"My name is Han," said the fully-armored man. "I love marketing my skills so that I can make money. For example, my hot spring back in Iwa is based on my Boil Release – "
"Oh yeah," Naruto butted in. "Why were you bathing fully-armored, Grandpa Han?"
Han looked rather hurt. "Grandpa? I'm only thirty-eight," he said.
Naruto seemed to have realized his mistake, because he rushed in to say, "Oh, no, no, you got the wrong idea, Grand – I mean, Uncle Han. I was just trying to be friendly."
Han calmed down slightly, but Roshi did not. "Why is he Uncle, but I'm Grandpa?" he snapped at Naruto. "I'm not even fifty!"
"Eh, you just give off grumpy old man vibes, Grandpa Roshi," Naruto said, shrugging. Roshi smoldered so much, you could almost see lava coming out of his ears. Luckily, Han came to the rescue.
"And to answer your question, I wasn't bathing fully-armored. I was powering up the hot spring."
"Wait just a moment, I haven't finished with Naruto – "
"Next!" Killer B yelled.
"OK!" Naruto shouted. "My name is Uzumaki Naruto. I love ramen, especially Ichiraku Ramen, my favorite place in the whole world. But Sugoi Ramen back in Reihoku Town is pretty cool. My favorite thing to do in my free time is to try out different flavors of ramen. I think that Ichiraku's cup ramen is better than all those other cup ramen in the world. I have a special pair of chopsticks that I use just for my favorite ramen – "
"Next!" B called out.
"But I'm not done with my introduction, ya know!"
"Naruto, that was the exact same thing you said during the last camping trip, word for word," Han pointed out.
"Naruto, let's share some ramen when we go to Konoha, su!" Fuu declared. "I think fugu ramen would taste really good. I'll even ask our Takikage – "
"Fuu, for the last time, there's no such thing – "
"All right, it's time for my awesome rhymes!" Killer B grinned. "My name's Killer B, I'm the Hachibi jinchuuriki, the world's greatest rap master to be – "
Just then, a feral voice bellowed, "B!"
A glint of blue shone in the dense green-black nighttime forest.
"This is so dull," Darui said.
"This is so troublesome," Shikamaru agreed.
Chouji and Karui weren't the only unlikely duo in the bunch.
"It's best if we split up so that we can cover more ground." Darui sighed. "Bad enough that we had to give info to Iwa, so it's best if we travel alone so that no one else can find out about our mission."
"It's troublesome, but I agree." He gave Darui a paper. "This here contains all relevant info about Naruto that you need to track him. There's nothing else in here that's incriminating, though."
"Likewise." Darui handed Shikamaru a very similar paper. "Information regarding identifying characteristics of B-san. It's dull that we're from enemy villages, but – "
"It's troublesome, but we'll have to cooperate this time around."
"No, Sakura, no!" Kakashi yelled, holding back his pink-haired medic ninja. "You can't seriously injure Sai, he's a teammate now!"
"Just – one – punch – Kakashi-sensei – just – one – shannaro," Sakura grunted, trying her best to get a swing at Sai.
The milky-skinned Anbu continued to smile an artificially placid smile. "Why are you so upset?" He held up a little black book in his ink-stained hands. "It says here that to make new friends, you should give them a cute nickname."
Tenzo – now given the code name Yamato – sighed. "Sai." Yamato gently wrested the book from his grip. "I know that Danzo's...training...was very harsh. That's why we're here – to deprogram you."
"Deprogram?" Sai repeated.
"His methods to produce the perfect shinobi run contrary to the Will of Fire that keeps Konoha thriving," Kakashi explained. "So I can understand that you must feel like a fish out of water here. However...please refrain from calling people you've just met 'Ugly.' They won't appreciate it."
Sai just gave them a blank smile.
Yamato and Kakashi exchanged weary looks. He didn't get it. They were in this for the long haul.
"Okay. Just..." Kakashi held up his hands. "Never mind. Just don't call Sakura that anymore, okay?"
"Okay."
"Good," Kakashi said. He held up one of Naruto's potted plants. "Now for some teamwork-building exercises. Together, we will all water our teammate Naruto's plants. Yamato will use his Wood Release to make them grow even more, maybe to gigantic proportions." He gave Yamato an eye-smile.
"Senpai, what the hell?"
"All right," Sai said with his least fake smile yet. "Slowpoke-sensei."
Kakashi's smile became strained underneath his mask.
They needed to deprogram Sai.
A/N: Thanks for the reviews, RedFistCannon, Jac Frust, Shion, all of the Guests, bwcxiii, ThisIsStorm101, Carvaiine, MoonLightSkies16, UltimateGenius, and AnimeIsLife0407.
Jac Frust - yeah, they will rescue Shukaku eventually.
Carvaiine - I had no idea that Fuu's behavior was that accurate, lol.
Anyone wanna guess who came after B? :)