The sand was running out of Dean's hour glass and every one was hyper aware of it. Sam and Bobby were running themselves ragged trying to find some way to get Dean out of his deal while Dean could feel the walls closing in on him. The finish line was in sight and he knew there was nothing Sam or Bobby could do about it.
Dean had gone to bed early, leaving Sam and Bobby buried in the books they were desperately searching for possible answers. Dean was restless, sleep evaded him as his fate taunted his mind. It was almost three in the morning when Dean gave up on sleep and went down stairs to get a drink and watch some infomercials since the chance of anything worth a shit being on the tv was next to nothing.
Beer in hand, Dean walked toward the living room only to catch sight of Sam and Bobby both asleep with their heads in their individual books. The sight sent a pang of regret through his chest and a lump swelled in his throat. In that moment he hated himself, hated what he was putting them through, but at the same time he couldn't say that he wouldn't do it all over again. If he hadn't made the deal Sam would still be dead and Dean couldn't live with that.
Suddenly Dean needed to get away. He needed to be anywhere but here and he needed to be there now. Dean put down the unopened beer on the coffee table and walked toward the door. Fifteen minutes later he was roaring down the highway, the radio cranked up loud enough so he couldn't hear his own thoughts without a care in the world of where the road was taking him.
It took a couple hours before Dean realized the direction he was heading. He had unconsciously picked the road to Chicago and it seemed right as he pressed down harder on the gas pedal, the desire to see his daughter coming to the forefront of his mind and the mental reprieve she would bring when he could focus solely on her.
It was mid-morning when Dean's phone began blowing up. Sam and Bobby had realized he was gone and were trying repeatedly to get a hold of him. On the fifth call Dean fished his phone out of his pocket, turning it off and throwing it in the back seat.
It was lunch time when Dean pulled up in front of Hank and Camille's. Dean's hand was raised to knock on the door before he realized that he hadn't call ahead. No one was expecting him and that meant that Rosie likely wasn't here. Disappointment flashed through him before he hoped for the best and knocked. There was a long pause before Dean finally heard a noise on the other side of the door. He was about to knock again when the door finally opened and revealed Camille.
"Dean?" She asked surprised and Dean forced a smile.
"Hey, mama. Sorry for showing up without calling. I was halfway here before I realized where I was going." Dean said as a half assed explanation. Camille seemed to realize something was wrong as she opened the door wider.
"It's alright, Dean. Come on in." She invited and Dean stepped inside.
"Today's your lucky day. Rosie's got a half day at school. I was gonna leave to pick her up here in a few minutes." Dean nodded and smiled in relief.
"I'll pick her up, thanks mama." Dean said and started back for the door, but Camille stopped him.
"Dean? Is something wrong?" Camille asked and Dean was at a loss for what to tell her. Dean remained quiet for a long moment before releasing a heavy breath.
"Honestly, everything feels wrong lately. Nothing I do makes the feeling go away and I just need to see my little girl." Dean said and Camille nodded.
"Okay, I'll call Erin and let her know that's you're in town and Rosie's with you." Camille said and Dean smiled again, a real smile this time.
"Thanks." Camille nodded with a small smile and Dean leaned down to kiss her cheek before heading back out the door. It felt weird sitting outside of Rosie's school, almost domestic as he waited in the line of cars with the other parents picking up their kids as the stream of students exited the building. Some heading to the buses, some continuing down the sidewalk away from school and the rest walking toward the line of cars.
Dean was out of the car, leaning against the passenger side of Baby as he waited. Rosie wasn't expecting him and he wanted to hug her the second she was in sight. Rosie didn't notice him at first as she walked out of the school talking animatedly with a dark haired little girl. As they got closer Dean recognized Lexi and was surprised at how much taller Lexi seemed than Rosie, the little girl obviously having gone through a recent growth spurt.
Rosie was only ten feet away when she looked up, trying to spot her grandmother's car only to spot Dean leaning against Baby. She squealed and ran toward him, leaving Lexi behind without a thought as she raced toward her father. Dean beamed as he braced and caught Rosie in a tight hug as she barreled into him. Lexi didn't seem to mind as she waved at Dean and continued down the line of cars toward her waiting mother.
"Momma didn't tell me you were coming!" Rosie exclaimed as he pulled back a little from her father's embrace.
"She didn't know I was coming. Didn't decide till this morning that I was coming here." Dean explained but Rosie didn't care about the reason as long as she got to see her father. Rosie was old enough now to realize that her dad wasn't around as much as the other kids' dads, but she didn't care about that because when Rosie saw her dad she knew that he was there to see her, that he wasn't going to brush her off or disappear in a couple hours. When her dad was around she felt like a princess who had found her prince and her mom had told her that it made her the luckiest girl in the world.
"Can we go for ice cream and pie, daddy?" Rosie asked and Dean beamed again with a laugh.
"Do you even have to ask?" Dean joked and carefully set Rosie back on the ground and opened the door to Baby's backseat so Rosie could take off her book bag, tossing it on the seat before climbing in after it. Dean watched her hook her seat belt before shutting the door and walking around the car to get in the driver's seat.
Dean looked in the rear view mirror as he started the engine and smiled at the sight of Rosie in the back seat. For the first time in weeks everything felt right and it allowed Dean to relax a little as he pulled away from the curb and headed toward their favorite diner for an after school treat. The diner wasn't anything special, but they had decent pie and served Rosie's favorite black raspberry ice cream.
Dean filled their afternoon with pie, ice cream and a trip to the park where he pushed Rosie on the swing for a good hour before some little boy invited her to a game of tag and she chased after him, leaving Dean alone for the first time in hours to watch as she joined the group of running and laughing kids around the jungle gym.
It was there that Erin found them during the later hours of the afternoon. She took a seat on the bench next to Dean as he watched Rosie go down the slide for what seemed like the millionth time that afternoon. Erin wasn't surprised when he didn't even bother to look her way when she sat down, more than used to the way Dean was completely absorbed in Rosie. Erin and Dean sat in silence for a couple minutes before Erin finally broke it.
"Sam called me this afternoon." She said and Dean hummed. He wasn't surprised that Sam had resorted to calling Erin when he couldn't get through to him on the phone, though he was surprised that it had taken Sam till the afternoon to do it. He would have assumed that Sam would have called her after his attempt at tracking Dean's phone had failed, which would have been shortly after Dean had shut his phone off.
"He's worried about you, Dean. Said you disappeared before he woke up this morning without so much as a note. He's been trying to call you all day." Erin continued and Dean sighed.
"I know." He said simply and it was Erin's turn to sigh.
"Sam was headed this way when he called, but I told him I'd talk to you. Figured you'd want the extra time to yourself." Erin said and Dean looked in her direction for the first time. Erin was watching Rosie the same as he had been. The amount of space between them and the lack of emotion between the two would suggest they didn't know each other and for the first time Dean regretted how detached he was with Erin. Granted he and Erin had become friends since Rosie was a baby, but they were still rather detached. If it wasn't for Rosie, Dean probably would have ditched Erin's number long ago and Erin probably would have done the same.
"Thanks." Dean said simply and Erin nodded. She had an idea of what had gotten into Dean. She was just as aware of the upcoming deadline as Sam and Bobby, but Erin was in a much different situation when it came to dealing with Dean's impending death. Erin didn't have the knowledge of the supernatural to throw herself into research to try to find a hail mary for Dean's soul, so instead she pretended that everything was fine for Rosie's sake and allowed Dean's unusually clingy behavior to slide as he showed up randomly to monopolized and spoil their little girl.
Erin was tempted to approach the subject, but knew that Dean had probably been forced to talk about it plenty by Sam and Bobby. She knew coming to Chicago was Dean's version of a vacation as he got to hide away from the supernatural world for a little while, allowing himself the luxury of a couple days of mental reprieve before he threw himself back into the fray. The silence resumed for a little while longer before Dean surprised Erin by breaking it and reaching into his pocket.
"This is for you." Dean said and handed Erin a key. Erin looked at it curiously as she took it from Dean's hand.
"Well, I guess it's not really for you, but you're going to need it." Dean fumbled and Erin's gaze moved from the key to Dean.
"Dean, what is this?" Erin asked and Dean frowned.
"It's a key to a safety deposit box."
"A safety deposit box? What would I need a safety deposit box for?" Erin asked.
"I've been living under the radar for a long time, Erin. I couldn't exactly open a bank account so I got a safety deposit box under a fake name. I've been saving up as much as I can since you told me you were pregnant. I knew from the beginning that I was probably going to leave her behind well before she graduated high school and I want her to get everything she deserves. I know it won't put her through college or anything, but it's a good start." Dean said and Erin could hear the strain in his words. She'd be lying if she said that her eyes didn't get a little misty at the thought Dean had put into this and the reality of it all was hitting her pretty hard at that moment.
"What am I supposed to tell her?" Erin said, her voice choked as a tear threatened to fall.
"You tell her the same thing you would tell any kid who has lost a parent. You tell her I loved her, that I want the best for her, that it's all going to be okay because she still has you, and Hank, and Camille, and Justin, and Sam, and hell… she even has Bobby. That old bastard hasn't even met her and he would drop everything and come running if you called him for help." A tear slid down Dean's face, but he quickly wiped it away.
"It's not going to be the same." Erin said as she wiped away her own tear.
"I know." Dean said.
"In a way, I'm grateful it had to go down like this." Dean whispered and Erin looked to him in horror.
"What?" She choked out and Dean quickly started explaining himself.
"I mean, this way I get to say goodbye, Erin. I always knew I'd go out bloody and there was a good chance that I'd say goodbye to her one day and neither of us would know that it was the last time. This way, I could prepare. I know when my time's going to be up and I get to go out knowing that I've spent every possible moment I could with her, that I was the best dad I could be. She's going to go on living knowing that her dad loved her more than anything and I hope that I've given her enough good memories of me that she'll remember at least a few of them when she's older." Dean said and struggled to finish as the emotions became too much.
Erin couldn't hold the tears back anymore. She could barely see Dean through the water blurring her vision. She gave up all pretense of emotional distance as she threw her arms around Dean in a tight hug, a small sob escaping her lips. Dean squeezed his eyes together tightly as he hugged Erin back, letting his face rest in her hair as he fought for control of himself.
"Mommy? Daddy? What's wrong?" Rosie asked and the two quickly tore apart, eyes coming to rest on Rosie as she stood in front of them, looking to them with wide curious eyes.
"Nothing baby." Erin replied weakly, but both knew Rosie didn't buy it as she looked at them suspiciously.
"Then why are you crying?" She asked and crawled up on the bench between them and pointed to the tear tracks on her mother's face as Dean quickly wiped away the remnants of his own tears.
"Because sometimes, you just have to let yourself cry, baby girl." Dean said and pulled Rosie to sit on his leg and allowing Erin to wipe away her tears with a tissue she'd pulled from her pocket.
"Like when I fell and cut my hand when you showed me how to ride my bike, daddy?" Rosie asked and Dean smiled with a nod.
"Exactly, kiddo. It felt a little better after you cried, right?" Dean asked and Rosie tilted her head in thought before nodding.
"Yeah, a little. Do you feel a little better, daddy?" Rosie asked eyeing the redness around her father's eyes. Dean smiled as he pulled her a little closer into a one armed hug.
"I always feel better when you're with me, baby girl." Dean said and Rosie gave him a beaming smile before hopping off his lap and holding out her hands to her parents.
"Can we go home now, I'm hungry." Rosie said, effectively breaking the somber mood and making Dean and Erin chuckle as they stood up, each taking one of Rosie's hands and letting her lead them out of the park as she began telling Erin all about her day.