A Change in Plans

An ATC for "The Foundling"

by Lilyjack

Chapter 10

"Sharing Sorrows"

"TO MATT DILLON DODGE CITY KANSAS. ARRIVED SAFELY IN NEW ORLEANS. AM NEEDED HERE INDEFINITELY. MORE LATER. KITTY." That was the message she sent from the nearest telegraph office, her eyes fastened unwaveringly on her reticule as she passed her handwritten note to the operator.

The small, wiry man wearing spectacles looked up at her in surprise. "Ma'am? This here says New Or…"

"I know what it says. Just send it, please," she firmly interrupted, handing him a coin. "Keep the change."

"Thanks, lady," he replied, studying her curiously but happily pocketing the money.

She rejoined Quint outside on the bustling sidewalk and blew out a deep breath, casting her eyes heavenward. Quint offered his arm and asked, "You feel like walkin'? My shop is only a few blocks back toward the house."

It was a warm day but there was a pleasant breeze blowing from the direction of the Mississippi River, and Kitty was particularly enjoying the birds singing their hearts out. It wasn't a treat she was accustomed to enjoying in Dodge City every day. She sighed, "I'd love to. I can't wait to see your new business."

"Let's go then."

Kitty opened a cream-colored parasol to shield her delicate skin against the bright sun. Lace gloves protected her hands, and she'd donned her new jade green dress that was cut simply and stylishly with ample room for her growing child. In the relatively brief time she'd been in St. Louis, she'd fallen into the habit of applying much less paint than she'd worn in Dodge. Of course, running a saloon required a somewhat different public "façade" than was required in her comparatively quiet private life here. The change in routine was certainly less time-consuming, and Quint seemed to like it, too, so she was more than happy with less daily "upkeep."

"I'm sure glad to get that over with," Kitty admitted as they companionably walked arm-in-arm down Lindell Boulevard.

"So, you let Matt know you were okay." It was more of a statement of fact than a question.

"Yes." She paused, but admitted further, "I may not have been real forthcoming with the information I gave him though."

"I'm sure you'll tell him when you're ready."

Quint felt Kitty slowing her walk as they approached Forest Park. He followed her gaze to where three small children were squealing and laughing, running through the lush carpet of green grass. Her brows drew together thoughtfully.

"You okay, Kitty?"

Her blue eyes were soft, unfocused as she spoke. "I used to think I was content."

"Content?" he repeated curiously, waiting patiently for her to continue. He felt her hold on his arm tighten a little.

"Matt, and Doc, too, they both thought I was happy…satisfied…with my life back in Dodge. But then, somethin' happened to make me realize I wanted more."

"You, uh…" Quint smoothed his hand over his dark jaw thoughtfully. "You wanna talk about it?"

She stopped, glancing at him hesitantly. Her time with Mary had been precious to her, but the experience had been sullied when she realized Doc and Matt were against her. It had been upsetting, even demoralizing, when she found that her dearest companions did not think her fit to raise a baby. "It's not a happy story, Quint," she confessed.

"I'm willin' to listen."

She pressed his arm tightly again, and he led her to a secluded spot in the park a short distance away, hidden from prying eyes or curious ears. He seated her on a park bench, and she faltered for a moment, closing her parasol, fidgeting with her gloves. It was hard, admitting that the ones you love most don't have faith in you. But Kitty Russell looked up into his kind face, his unwavering gaze, and she pulled him down on the bench next to her. She finally unburdened her heart to Quint Asper as they sat side by side in the deep shade of an old oak, its sheltering branches the only witness to Kitty's secret sorrow save her old friend. An old friend who'd crossed her path again just in time to help her through a particularly rough patch in her life.

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Kitty drew a lace trimmed handkerchief from her sleeve to dry her eyes as she took a steadying breath. "I'm sorry, Quint. I don't like cryin', but it seems lately that's all I do." Kitty and Quint had spoken in hushed voices about Mary, about the joy and deep satisfaction Kitty had experienced as she cared for the helpless newborn babe. About the great longing Mary had ignited within Kitty and, later on, the fear that her chance for having babies was nearly past.

Quint had listened attentively to her story, to her heartbreak. Finally, he'd simply said, "Kitty, I can't think of another person who'd make a better mother than you." And that's when she'd broken down and cried, and Quint took her in his arms, holding her until her hiccupping sobs subsided.

"Do you really think so, Quint?" she asked as she dabbed at her swollen eyes with a sodden hankie.

He dug out his own handkerchief, offering it to her. "I know so, Kitty."

"You don't realize how much that means to me. Sometimes you get down, and you start to listen and believe what other people say about you, what they think about you…"

"Kitty, you're one of the finest people I've ever met. I wish you coulda met Bella. You two would have gotten along real well."

"You think so?" Fresh tears sprang to her eyes. "I'm sorry to be blubbering to you about my problems when you got plenty of your own."

"No, you shouldn't feel that way." He shook his head. "I've had a year to recover, although, to tell you the truth…" Quint leaned over and picked up a small stone from the ground at his feet, rolling it between his fingers. "…I haven't been able to shake some things I regret."

"Regret?" she asked.

"Yeah…" Quint's eyes gazed somewhere in the distance. "I regret how I spent my time with Bella. I'm not too proud of that."

"Whatta you mean, Quint? I can't imagine you bein' anything other than a good husband to her."

"Well, I spent way too much time workin'. Not enough time at home. Not enough time with Bella. I was so determined to be a success, to make enough money to be secure and take care of my family, that I'm afraid I missed out on the most important thing."

"I'm sure Bella knew that, Quint. I'm sure she understood. I'm sure she loved you." Kitty placed a hand on his wrist, squeezing. "I can't imagine a woman feelin' any other way. You're a kind man, Quint…kind and caring."

Quint just looked down at her hand on his arm. He couldn't look into Kitty's eyes as he swallowed the lump that formed in his throat at her words.

"And you more than anyone should know how it feels to have people form preconceived notions about you. Here I've been cryin' about Matt and Doc thinkin' I shouldn't be takin' care of a baby, but you've suffered people judging you for your entire life just because of the color of your skin, because your mother was an Indian."

She slipped her arms around his neck and hugged him tightly, her soft, tear-flushed cheek brushing his own. He enveloped her in a warm embrace and closed his dark eyes, his heart squeezing tightly in his chest.

tbc

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