The uneven ground had entered into a conspiracy to slow me down, trip me up, and make me dog food. Swear to the universe. I was never going hiking again. We raced over the ridge and down the other side, Yosemite and Alek leaping and gliding over rocks and brambles toward the line of healthier forest far below and beyond us. All those hours climbing up this ridge to get to the valley, all that effort, and now I had to stumble my way down at breakneck speed. I would have sighed, but I had no breath to spare.
Breakneck speed was an accurate phrase for it. I gave up after the second fall ripped my jeans open at the knees and embedded thistle needles into my palms. I reached for my magic, letting it run through my muscles, strengthening me, lifting me up as I sprang a few feet off the ground and forward, leaping like a long-jumper. Using my magic, I pressed down, willing myself not to land, but to keep going. I'd learned in my AP Physics class in high school that gravity is considered a weak force and I intended to ignore the shit out of it for as long as I could if it meant not face-planting again before reaching those trees.
Even with magic, I could barely keep up with Alek and Yosemite, their long legs eating up the distance, their huge bodies apparently good enough at defying pesky things like air resistance and gravity all on their own.
Behind me, the baying of the Fomoire hounds grew louder, closer. I couldn't risk a look, but it felt as though they were closing the distance, definitely over the ridge themselves by now. I wanted to turn and tear into them, but memory of our barely won fight at the barn kept me gliding forward, kicking off the ground for another long glide. All I needed was a Hidden Leaf headband or an Anbu mask and I'd be right at home in a Naruto manga.
The healthy forest spread out ahead of me, the leaves looking like they were on fire in the morning sunlight, lit from the side by the rising sun. We were nearly in its shade when the first of the hounds caught up.
Fetid and heavy breathing warned me, and I threw myself sideways, using my magic like a ski pole to shove my gliding body aside as a hound sprang at me from behind. I shouted a warning as I hit the ground, the impact jarring me from ankle to teeth. I managed to keep my feet and spin, lashing out with a beam of purple fire. The hound dodged and went for Alek instead.
Alek shifted and sprang, his huge jaws ripping into flesh with satisfying crunches, paws bigger than my head with claws longer than my fingers tearing the hound to whimpering shreds.
Yosemite had reached the trees, and he turned as well, a thick branch, its length still covered in twigs and leaves, dropping from the trees to his hand. He spun it with mastery, cracking into one monster's skull and spinning back to trip another and send it flying into the trees. Vines ripped up from the ground, glowing green in the dim light beneath the trees. Any hound that shot past us was caught, yowling in pain, and dragged into the earth.
The pack backed off as a high whistle sounded and the ground shook. There were less of them than before, I noticed as I edged toward Alek and the druid, gasping for air. Still too many; twenty or so at least. I raised my eyes as Yosemite cursed in three different tongues and looked back up the hill.
One of the stone turtle insect guardians, its craggy body oozing rusty smoke, lumbered down the hill. It wasn't moving very quickly, but it was picking up steam as it went. The one the day before had moved better, and after a moment I could make out why this one was more cautious.
It had a rider. A man stood on its back, his golden hair bright, a motherfucking crimson cloak streaming out behind him.
"Fucking theatrics," I muttered.
"That the sorcerer?" Yosemite asked. He had half turned away and was looking at the trees around us as though searching for something.
"A sorcerer," I said. "Not Samir. I think that's Clyde."
I set my feet, one back, one front, and started to pool magic into my hands, balling force as I had before. Bowling that stupid turtle down would be even more satisfying with that clown on its back. He was an idiot to come out in the open. I smiled.
Just a little closer, fuckwad , I thought, watching Clyde come down the hill. I could make out his features now. Delicately pretty, like Tess had said. He was grinning fit to split his face. Well, that made two of us.
"Jade," Yosemite hissed, his voice filled with fear and urgency. "The other guardian, it's behind us."
I risked a glance behind, clinging to my focus, holding the gathering ball of magic in my hands. Something grey and black slithered between the trees, brush crackling as it came closer. I made out a snakelike head and rust-colored eyes or maybe nostrils, smoking beneath the trees.
"I don't think I can take out two, and the hounds," I hissed back.
"I can open the way, but only in that tree," Yosemite said, pointing toward an oak about twenty yards to our left. It was bigger than the trees around it, growing at the edge of the wood where it had gotten plenty of light and water.
Alek crouched by my side, growling low in his throat, his whole body vibrating with tension.
The stone turtle insect stopped its advance, and Clyde called out to me, "Good morning, Jade Crow."
Cocky cocksucker. My whole body shook from holding the spell. It wouldn't be as strong as yesterday's; my reserves were still low.
"Good morning, Clyde," I called. Then, in a whisper, I said in Old Irish, "Start going to the tree, I'll distract him," and added the words in Russian for Alek's benefit.
"I see our little traitor has been talking," Clyde yelled. "You think she won't betray you, like she did Samir?"
Something about his words bothered me, but I shoved them aside. I couldn't hold the spell much longer.
"Fuck off," I yelled. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw that Alek and Yosemite had halved the distance to the tree. It would have to be good enough.
"You are trapped," Clyde called out. He started to say something else stupid and gloaty, but I threw my hands forward, unleashing the Kamehameha.
The energy ball ripped along the ground, tossing hounds out of its path like sticks. It slammed into the polluted guardian, rocking the creature backward and bowling it off its feet in a cloud of dirt and shale.
I bolted toward the tree, not watching to see what further effect my spell had. The stone snake guardian rushed us, crushing ferns and saplings in its path as it abandoned stealth for speed.
Yosemite was chanting, green light streaming from his hands and into the oak. A glowing portal opened in the trunk and he half shoved tiger-Alek through it and reached for me as I made one last magic-assisted leap. The snake's jaws snapped just where I had been, its breath an ill wind at my back. I dove into the leaf-way.
There was no ground, no up or down. I flew through empty space, feeling like I was moving or that perhaps the filtered green light that danced all around me was moving and that I was just falling. Falling forever, my heart in my throat. If that was what skydiving was like, I made a solemn vow right then and there to never ever try it.
I clutched at my d20 talisman with both hands, needing something solid to remind me I was here and real. I was a sorceress. Hitting the ground after a fall like this wouldn't kill me. If there was ground. Hadn't Alek and Yosemite come out through the ancient oak at the Henhouse, safe and sound, only days before? I tried to cling to that memory, to the knowledge that whatever was happening would pass and I would survive it.
I slammed back into daylight, ground beneath my feet for a moment until my toes tripped me up as my forward momentum carried me into a full-on-face plant in the dewy grass outside the Henhouse. I almost kissed that ground as I realized I was here and it was solid, but I was afraid if I opened my mouth, I'd barf.
Alek, back in human form, leaned down beside me, helping me to my feet.
"How bad can it be?" he said, eyebrows raised.
"Okay, you win," I said, swallowing hard. "Let's never do that again."
Yosemite leapt from the tree behind us as though he'd been on a stroll, and turned, banishing the green light and closing the leaf-way. I really wished he'd said something cool, like "The way is closed" but you can't have everything, I guess. Besides, hadn't I just been disgusted with Clyde the evil sorcerer for being overly theatric? That was partially sour grapes on my part, I knew. His little distraction plan had almost worked, though I wanted to believe I could have taken him, and his little dogs too. All two dozen of them. And two giant monster things made of nearly impregnable stone.
Yeah, those grapes would have tasted like shit. The fox was so right.
We walked into the Henhouse after checking on Max and the unicorn. A few lights were on and I heard voices as I entered. The whole lower floor smelled of butter popcorn. The first person I saw was Harper, walking between the kitchen and the open door to Tess's room, a huge bowl of popcorn in her hands—which explained the scent at least. She looked tired but had a smile on her face that grew grim when she saw us.
"You guys are a mess," she said. "You okay?"
"Yeah," I said. "Everyone in Tess's room?"
It sounded that way, at least, their voices spilling out into the hall.
"I must make a phone call," Yosemite said. He went up the stairs without another word.
I followed Harper into Tess's room, Alek behind me. Levi, Ezee, and Junebug had all set up camp there, as far as I could tell. They'd brought one of the flatscreen TVs into the room and I recognized the closing credits from Firefly paused on the screen. Tess had more color in her cheeks, but still looked delicate and weak in the bed, propped up on half a dozen pillows.
"You guys been up all night?" I said.
"We were worried about you guys," Levi said.
"So we started watching Firefly ," Ezee said, with a shrug.
"Next thing we knew, it was morning," Levi finished.
"You are just in time though," Tess said. "We finished the first season, but we haven't started season two yet."
"Season two?" I said, raising an eyebrow at the twins. "You didn't warn her?"
"We didn't have the heart," Harper muttered as she set the popcorn down on the nightstand.
"Warn me about what?" Tess asked, looking between their faces.
"There is no season two," I said, glaring at my friends. I felt like I was in some alternate universe. I went away for a few days and everyone was hanging out like old friends, turning our new friend into a gorram Browncoat while they were at it.
"What do you mean there is no season two?" She looked crushed. I knew the feeling.
"Fuck this," I said, throwing up my hands. "I'm going to go take a shower. You guys can explain things. Then we'd better tell you all what we found."
I left to the sounds of another fangirl heart breaking in twain.