Ch. 10- Fate
I DO NOT OWN THE RIGHTS TO HARRY POTTER
Hermione, Harry and Ron saw Sirius in the caves during their Hogsmeade visit and learned all about his suspicions of what was going on in Hogwarts that year. They saw Dobby in the kitchens and spoke to Winky more about Mr. Crouch. Hermione, Ron and Harry sat at Breakfast in the Great Hall. Hermione had taken out a subscription to the Daily Prophet to stop hearing everything second hand. She was surprised by the amount of mail she had gotten, none of which was the daily prophet she'd requested. Hermione opened one letter and growled. It was hate mail in response to the article Rita Skeeter had written about her. She went to open the last one and screamed when a yellow liquid fell upon her hands, causing her pain and boils.
"Undiluted bubotuber pus." Ron said, examining it. Hermione's eyes watered from the pain.
"Ow." She tried to rub off the puss.
"You'd better get up to the hospital wing." Harry told her. "We'll let professor Sprout know." He told her and she got up to leave. Hermione tried to avoid everyone as she hurried to Madam Pomfrey. She made it in good time and the place was empty.
"What's happened, dear?" She asked, guiding Hermione to a bed.
"Someone's sent me a horrid letter, that contained-"
"Undiluted bubotuber pus." Madam Pomfrey. She shook her head. "No need to fret, we will get you all squared away." She smiled kindly at Hermione and left to get something. When she returned, she washed off Hermione's hands in a small bowl and wiped on a green paste, then bandaged her hands.
"Thank you. That feels better." She said and Madam Pomfrey patted her shoulder.
"I'm afraid it will take some time for the swelling and boils to disappear." She told her and Hermione rested her head back on the pillow. A short while later, she could hear footsteps echoing at the entrance of the infirmary.
Draco watched as Hermione ran from the table without her things. Pansy watched him. She shook her head immediately as he tried to stand and she pulled him back down.
"No." She whispered. Draco sat there unnerved.
"She was hurt. Did you see her hands?" He asked her.
"She will be fine." Pansy said coldly and he stood up and slung his bag over his shoulder. She followed behind him running after him. She took his hand and spun him around. "You asked for my help." She reminded him.
"And I still need you, but I have to know she's alright." He told her. "Come with me, I'll keep it brief." He said and she contemplated for a long pause. She groaned.
"Five minutes." She told him and they went up to the Hospital wing.
"May I help you?" Madam Pompfrey asked someone.
"I just wanted to drop something off to her. Is she alright?" Hermione's eyes shot open and she turned to look at Draco standing there, Pansy waiting by the door. He smiled widely when she sat up, looking relieved.
"She will be fine." She told him. "Shouldn't you be heading to class?" She asked him.
"I won't be long. We're heading there now." He pointed back at Pansy and Madam Pomfrey nodded.
"Very well. Make it quick." She told them. Draco scuttled over to her and stood there, looking at her hands.
"What are you doing here?" She asked him. "What is she doing here?" She jerked her head towards Pansy, who had started pacing by the door.
"I saw you running from the table, it looked like you'd been hurt." He told her. "What caused this?" He asked and she stared at him. "What?"
"You have to make up your mind." She told him. Malfoy sighed.
"Humor me." He told her and she too sighed.
"It was a heinous letter, filled with some poisonous substance. All thanks to that article Rita Skeeter wrote." She said and he looked back at Pansy.
"You're lucky it wasn't a curse." He told her. "I've seen my fair share and you wouldn't believe what kind of jinxes can be placed in an envelope." He said. "You shouldn't open mail from people you don't know." He scolded her and she laughed.
"I'll be sure to not open anything from now on." She said and looked away. "Was that all?" She asked him and he shook his head.
"Here." He placed beside her a small parchment and pulled out his wand and a quill. "It's enchanted, you can dictate to it." He said to her. "You know in case you had to be here for a while and wanted to do an assignment." He said awkwardly.
"Thank you." She said, he looked back at Pansy who waved him forward. "I don't understand why you're like this." She told him. "Hot and cold." She said.
"It's complicated." He finally said and she nodded. That she knew. "I have to go. Feel better." He said, and smiled at her.
"Bye." She said. Pansy watched him nervously as he walked away from her. Her eyes darted to Hermione's face and back again. Hermione couldn't understand why he would come here and what exactly did he tell Pansy to get her to come with her.
_
Hermione did not join them again until the end of Care of Magical Creatures. Her hands were still bandaged but the swelling had definitely gone down. Draco watched her again, but thanks to Pansy he did not linger on her. Hermione had begun staring back at him. As they waited for the next class, he pulled out his paper and quill again. He dated the page.
Hermione,
I'm not sure the reason why I keep writing you letters. It used to be to apologize for what wrong I'd done to you, but now it seems that it's more like keeping a journal. It annoys me to no end that you've been hurt because of the foulness of people. I'm sorry for my part. I'm sorry that I continue to confuse you with my actions. I want you to know that all I want is to keep you safe. I want you to be happy and since it can't be with me, at least I can try to be happy for whoever you do end up with. It's hard to think about.
He tapped his wand to the page, unsure of what this letter was becoming.
"What are you always writing?" Pansy asked beside him.
"Everything." He muttered. Her eyes sparkled.
"Unbreakable." He pointed his wand at the page again. She smirked, but looked at it curiously. "Pansy." He said and she looked up at him brightly. "Why do you help me?" He asked her and she looked down at her hands again. When they were alone, Pansy did not act as she did in front of her possy of friends, in fact Draco thought she was quite insecure around him.
"You're my friend." She said dryly. "And you've helped me quite a bit." She said and he remembered tutoring her during their first and second years.
"I haven't treated you fairly." He told her and she looked up to him hopefully again. The other Slytherin were beginning to arrive and she lowered her voice as she spoke.
"I'm quite fond of you, Malfoy. I just don't want to see you get hurt." She finished and he nodded along. Draco felt grateful for Pansy then. He had been so angry at her for going to his mother, but understood now that it was not just out of spite. Pansy cared about him.
The Hate mail continued to arrive for Hermione and to her dismay she could not simply toss them all in the fire. Some sent howlers, calling her every name in the book. Everywhere she turned another student would be reading the article or asking her about Harry and Viktor. She really hated Rita Skeeter. Draco had not made any more attempts to see her. They had not been alone again and to that she knew she could blame Pansy. She was always there and even worse it seemed that Draco wanted her always there. When a new pile of hate mail fell in front of her during breakfast, Hermione shook her head and spoke louder than she had intended.
"I think I'll go home for Easter holiday. Yes, I think I need to spend time with my parents." She told Ron and Harry. Harry looked at her sympathetically. He knew what she was going through. The same thing was happening to him.
"If you think that will help." Ron said, stuffing his mouth. "Although, the owls will just go to your house." He said annoyingly and Hermione scoffed.
"A few days without magic will do me just fine." Hermione left them shortly after to check out books from the library. She would get a lot of work done without any distractions. She wrote her parents a letter, explaining to them that she would be home this weekend, tied it to a school owl and watched them leave. She sat there longer than she should have, hoping to avoid the masses. It didn't work. The owlery did not hold anything for her. She walked down and towards her bridge. Only Neville lingered close by the bridge, watching something in the courtyard. She put her bag down and faced the window of the bridge. The wind blew lightly and she could feel the warmer air listened to the sound of the water below and closed her eyes. It still worked. She had not visited this place since Draco had said those cruel words and kissed Pansy Parkinson in front of her. She felt embarrassed now, for avoiding the peace and tranquility she felt here all because of him. He clearly didn't know what he wanted. Hermione should not continue to pine for him. She shook her head and smiled as she opened her yes. It wasn't the way it worked and she knew it. It was complicated as he had told her before. She knew what she felt for Draco would take a long time to pass. She lingered as long as she could and then took her bag and went to Professor McGonagall's office to tell her about her plans to leave for the Easter Holiday.
"Are you very sure?" She asked Hermione, who nodded. "Not many people are leaving due to the tournament." She said.
"Yes, but Harry's next task isn't for a while and I'll be back in plenty of time. I'm bringing all my books and will of course study while I'm away." She explained and Professor McGonagall laughed.
"I have no doubt dear." She said and jotted down Hermione's name to the list. "The train will leave from the Hogsmeade station early Saturday Morning." She told her.
"Thank you, Professor." Hermione took the paper McGonagall handed her and continued her day. In two days' time, she said goodbye to Harry and Ron and left for Hogmead in a carriage. She was alone, as Professor McGonagall said, not many people were going home for the week. She found a compartment easily away from the students who gathered together and placed her things in the bins. She pulled out her books and began reading. Once the train had departed, a little knock sounded and she looked up hoping that it was not someone wanting to tease or mock her some more. Her eyes widened when she saw Draco Malfoy standing there.
"Do you mind if I join you?" He asked and Hermione just stared at him. "I can leave you alone if you'd like." He said, his face falling.
"No, I'm sorry you took me by surprise." She said. "Come in." She said, moving her bag from across from her and looking back at her book, but unable to comprehend what she read. "Where are your friends?" She asked him.
"Back at school. My mother wanted me home for a visit and everyone wanted to stay for the tournament." He explained. "And you? Where are Weaselby and Potter." He asked her. She scowled.
"Ron and Harry are back at school. I wanted to visit my parents for a few days." She explained and he laughed. "What's so funny?" She asked him.
"What are the chances of this?" He pointed between them. "Didn't we plan this before?" He said and Hermione remembered quickly that they had made plans to meet in London during some holiday to have some time to be alone. The irony that now they weren't together they were very much alone. She looked at her watch. At least eight hours of uninterrupted alone time.
"That's right." She said. "Funny how that happened." She muttered.
"Don't let me keep you." He said pointing at all the books spread across the seat. Draco pulled a parchment and Quill and began writing.
Draco dated the paper and wrote as Hermione returned to her reading.
Hermione,
Just my luck that I happen to walk past your compartment and see you on this train utterly alone. No one here to interfere or listen into our conversation. Is it fate? Is something pushing us together? What am I supposed to do when the circumstances turn up for me so easily? Pansy is not here to stop me. Potter is not here to stop you. It's just you and me in this compartment for eight glorious hours. I should be controlling myself, I should be in a compartment alone, but to have you here so close. I don't have that kind of will power.
They spent half an hour writing and reading, neither of them speaking. Draco watched her though and as she struggled with something, he finally spoke to her.
"Do you need help with something?" She laughed.
"No, I do not." She said, turning a page and scribbling down something on her own paper. "Besides, I'm not sure you would even know how to help, even if I needed it." She turned the book to face him and showed him the ancient runes translation page that she was working on and he rolled his eyes.
"I don't take Ancient Runes because the subject does not interest me, not because I am not capable." He translated the first line, without looking at the translation dictionary. Hermione looked at him impressed.
"No one likes a show off." And then they both laughed. They started with school and how their assignments were filling up quickly every week. If not for her ample reading ahead, she would never keep up. Then they got to the subjects Hermione had wanted to avoid.
"The bulgarian seems to like you." He told her and watched as her cheeks flush pink. "And I'm sure the article was wrong, but is Weasley still bidding for your affections as well?" He asked her and she shook her head.
"Viktor," She corrected him. "Viktor does seem to like me, although I'm not sure why. We don't speak much." She said and his face fell for a moment. "No, what I mean is, he usually just sits by me and watches me study." She smiles and Draco shakes his head. "Ron hasn't shown any interest in me at all, other than his jealous fight with me on Christmas." She said. "You and Pansy seem rather close."
"Yes." he told her. "She's become a good friend." He said and then her face fell. "Only a friend." He adjusted.
"Not that it matters, right?" She said and he shrugged. "You still don't want to be with me?" She said plainly and he just stared at her. He should have never come into this compartment. Here was his test and he was failing miserably.
"I'm not safe Granger." He said and she crossed her arms.
"I don't know what that means." She answered him.
"It means that us being together can have dire consequences to you and I won't put you in danger." He told her, knowing he had said too much, but hoping with everything he had, that she would listen.
"I'm not afraid of you." She told him.
"I know." He replied. "It doesn't change anything. We can't be together." He told her. There were still at least six hours left on this bloody train. Hermione and Draco stared at each other un moving. The trolley woman knocked on the door.
"Anything off the Trolley dears?" She asked, cracking the door a bit. Hermione and Draco stopped looking at each other. She reached into her pocket, but he waived her away. Draco ordered and paid for at least two of each from the trolley and handed her all her favorites.
"Thank you." She said and ate. "You don't want me to fight you on this." She said as he ate too. He nodded. "But do you want me to leave you alone?" She asked. "I only ask because it seems that every time I find a way to distance myself, you find a way to show me who you really are." She said.
"It's complicated."
"I think I can keep up. Try me." She told him.
"I sort of promised my mum, I would stay away from you." He explained, looking sullen. "If I break that promise, none of it will have mattered." He said and she nodded along.
"Then what are we doing?" She asked him. "If you have to stay away from me, why are you here with me now?" She asked and he looked at his hands.
"Because I am weak." He said and Hermione just stared at him. She stood up and sat beside him. She places her hand on his and he looks at her. He was weak, the feeling of her hand on his made his heart thud loudly.
"You are not weak. You are human." She said to him. "It's been difficult for me too." She said and her voice was low, almost a whisper. "I've missed you." She said and looked at her hand on his. Draco could not hold back anymore. He was weak, weak for her. He took his hand from hers and pushed her hair away from her face. She breathed roughly. He looked from her eyes to her lips and drew closer to her. His lips found hers and very tenderly he kissed her. Hermione's eyes closed and she kissed him back. Their hands finding their way again and their bodies edging closer. He felt whole once again and knew that when they parted the spell would be broken and they would have to go back to how it had been. But that was when the kiss ended. For now he had her back. She was his and he belonged to her. He breathed her in, and felt the warmth of her reach throughout him and mend all that was broken. When they broke apart, his eyes bore into hers and they were breathless and alert. He pulled back further and the cloudiness of his mind began to clear. He had made a mistake, but she avoided his eyes now.
"I guess we haven't missed a step." She said, her hand resting across her heart. She smiled at him and sat back. When he did not speak, she decided to speak instead. "I know that the kiss doesn't mean what I want it to." She said and he looked at her. "It's alright. Now that I understand why you did what you did. But you should know something." She said and he finally spoke.
"What?" He asked her.
"If at some point you change your mind and decide that we can do this, I can't guarantee that I will be sitting around waiting. It's not fair to ask that of me." She said. "If you are sure that we will never be together, then you should let me go, otherwise I will always find hope." She said and his heart ached a little at her words.
"That is fair." He told her. "Can I ask you something?" She nodded. "Can we keep pretending for a little while longer?" He asked and she looked at him confused. "When the train stops, I will leave and promise to try my best to let you live your life without my interference." He promised. "But for now, can we just enjoy that we are alone, in this compartment and together?" He said and a smile spread across her face. Hermione did not respond. She simply sat up and rested her head on his chest. Draco wrapped his arm around her and held her close, continuing to breathe her in. He felt elated. If even for a few more hours, they belonged to each other.