TW: MENATL HEALTH, SUICIDE AND ADDICTION THEMES

AN: Special thanks to my alpha Phoenixofslytherin and my beta 08adrelai1993 for helping me put my ideas into reality.

Theo

Theo startled awake from another restless night of sleep, plagued by nightmares of the different ways in which he happened upon his best friend's lifeless body. His imagination was running rampant in his sleep, always coming up with new scenarios and new horrors. He was starting to think maybe he should take up writing fiction based on the trauma his mind was cultivating every night. He wasn't aware he could be so inventive, and his imagination could come up with such things.

He stretched and was immediately met by the stiff protests of his body after spending yet another night sleeping on a floor. While the carpet in Draco's bedroom was a step up from the hard wooden floors in the hallway outside his door, it still wasn't doing his body any favors to choose to sleep on a floor rather than his ridiculously luxurious bed with his 23 different pillows. He sighed, he missed his bed and at this point. He had all but forgotten how good it felt to be snuggled up under the duvets and not waking up feeling like he had spent the night trying to fend off a Manticore.

He faintly heard the spray of the shower from Draco's bathroom, and sat up to peer up on the bed to confirm his friend was indeed awake and getting ready for the day. It was going to be a difficult day all round, and Theo suspected that things were going to get a lot worse before they got better. He had witnessed the beginnings of withdrawals in Draco on a few occasions when he had gone too long between doses and it hadn't been pretty. It was the reason both Blaise and he had given in on so many occasions and gotten the potion for Draco. They were both aware they were feeding his addiction, but seeing him in that state had been shocking and they did the only thing they had known would take away his suffering. They weren't proud of it, but they had both felt too hopeless to do anything but give in.

Theo reached over and affectionately stroked Blaise's face to wake his still sleeping wizard up. While he could spend all day watching the man he loved sleep, they needed to start what would surely be a difficult day for everyone. Hermione had promised to be back in the morning so they could discuss the next steps in Draco's treatment now that he was ready, and Theo wished to sit down and talk with Draco about what had happened last night. If they were going to all support him through this it was time for them to sit down and start opening up to each other. They had all spent too long avoiding the difficult conversations and if this was going to work things needed to change.

He called for an elf to prepare tea and coffee in the dining room, and advised that they would be taking breakfast when Granger arrived. He knew enough about her by now that she would probably forget to eat in her haste to get here this morning. He followed Blaise from the room after leaving a note on Draco's bed asking him to meet them in the dining room when he was ready.

Draco

The atmosphere coupled with the thick silence when Draco entered the dining room made it obvious that Theo and Blaise had been discussing him before he walked through the door. He knew it was highly likely that Hermione had informed them of the events of the previous night and the looks of devastation mixed with pity confirmed his suspicions that they knew.

He made his way to one of the empty seats at the smaller table that had been placed closer to the window and sat down, being careful not to accidentally make eye contact with one of his best friends. He couldn't bear to see the shame in their eyes he was certain would be there.

He prepared his tea with sugar and milk, keeping his eyes fixed on his cup while waiting for one of them to speak. It was Blaise who finally broke the silence.

"Hermione told us that you tried to... umm… she told us what happened last night."

Draco released a breath he didn't know he had been holding and nodded his head to let him know it was okay to continue with whatever he wanted to say.

"We knew things were bad, but we didn't realize they were that bad, and I know that we aren't a bunch of Hufflepuffs that sit around in a circle holding hands and sharing our feelings, but you know that you could have came to us and we could have done whatever we could to help right? We shouldn't have gone out last night and left you, and we should have better noticed the signs and we are so sorry we have failed you, but we promise that fro- "

Draco jumped from his seat and faced his two best friends with a look of horror.

"Don't you dare finish that sentence and never, and I mean never, apologize to me about this again! It's not your bloody job to babysit me! It's not your fault I'm too weak and cowardly to deal with my own shit, and it's not your job to try and put me back together. That's on me to do, it's on me to find a way through this and I will not sit here and listen to you blame yourself or apologize for things that aren't your responsibility in the first place! You would be better off without me. All I do is bring you misery!"

Draco's breathing was coming out heavy as he finished shouting, and he could feel the tears streaming down his face. He felt a hand on his shoulder and turned around to see Theo was next to him with tears staining his own cheeks.

"Draco, I know you want to push us away. Every time things get hard or something goes wrong you do everything you can to isolate yourself. Look at 6th year and the way you cut yourself off from everyone. But we aren't kids anymore Draco, and you don't need to face your demons alone anymore. You're our best friend, our brother, and we would rather stand with you and face your demons in misery, than face a single day in a world that you're not in. We love you unconditionally and that means that we don't want to just be there for the good parts of you, but also for the darkest parts. It's time to get clean, time to stop using the potions as a band aid to cover up the deeper roots of your internal pain and if you're ready, I can promise you that we will love you through it all and do whatever it takes to help you to the other side of your darkness."

Draco felt his knees give out, and Theo caught him sliding with him to the floor as he wrapped his arms around him. He felt another set of arms tangle around him and he let them. Hearing that his best friends weren't going to abandon him and that they loved him was more than Draco could handle right now and words failed where tears prevailed, so he let them fall.