Eventually, we managed to get up off the floor. Nobody knew what the next step was or how to move forward. Christian was quiet, muttering things about the apartment and college. I replied with the same stilted conversation until my parents and Riley got home. My mom immediately knew from my face something was up, but Riley ran to greet me before she could say anything. A world away from the day I first found her, she was now a radiant beauty. Her long tangled hair had now been trimmed and styled, and she was fresh-faced and clean with lovely clothes. I was so happy I had found her when I did. Any more time in that place could have done serious damage on her mental state.

"You okay sweetheart?" My mom asked, looking warily from Christian to myself.

I nodded.

"We're just heading out," Christian told her, taking my hand and catching me off guard.

I looked up at him confused, but didn't question anything. With a quick goodbye to everyone, we were off. I knew my mom would quiz me about it relentlessly tonight when I got home.

In Christian's car, both of us were pretty much silent. He put the radio on low, both hands on the steering wheel which was something he rarely did. The tension in the air was thick and my regrets from last night were coming back to haunt me. Regrets. That's what they were. I had been drinking. I had not been myself. Sober, calling over Ethan was not a rational decision I would have made. Tears filled my eyes again and I looked out of the window so that Christian wouldn't see me.

We drove for a long while, both of our heads filled with chaos and heartbreak and regret. I didn't even know where we were going, but I did not care. Eventually, we stopped. The little apple tree orchard where we first went on our playdate together. There were only a few people there in the distance; the golden sunlight beautifully shining across the lush fields. This had always been such a special place to me. A special place to us. We walked towards a tree and sobs wracked my body as we strolled out into the sunshine. Christian pulled me toward him wordlessly.

"You don't have to go back to California Christian," I said quietly. "You don't have to be with me anymore."

"Why would I not want to be with you anymore?" He asked, his voice just as soft.

I turned to face him, looking up into his beautiful face with my tear-streaked eyes.

"What I did…"

He cut me off, breathing deeply.

"We've both done bad things Ana. That doesn't mean we don't love each-other."

He sat down on the grass, pulling me with him. I breathed him in like perfume. We were quiet for a long while before I finally spoke again.

"Do you ever think we should have just stayed friends?" I whispered. "That everything would have been easier?"

He chuckled a little, leaning his head back against the tree. "Yeah, probably," he agreed. "But when Brody took an interest in you, I saw red. You were the same with Holly. We were never meant to be just friends."

I took his hand, interlacing our fingers together. "I know."

"I remember being fourteen and wanting to touch you so badly," he continued. "I wanted to kiss you and feel you and get you in my bed. I was too attracted to you to be just your friend."

"So was I," I smiled, remembering very clearly.

He sighed. "Anything worth it is never easy Ana."

I nodded. "I know, I just don't know if it should always be this hard."

"I have unresolved issues I need to still work on," he admitted. "Most of it is me."

"You have a saviour complex," I told him.

"Yeah," he agreed, for the first time in forever.

"You can't save the world Christian."

He rested his head on my own.

"I know. It's a hard cycle to break out of."

I sighed, clutching his hand tight. "Some of it is me too," I finally admitted myself. "I…I don't always hear you out. I run away too quickly. I'm so selfish when it comes to you and I want you to be mine always. All of you. I know it's unfair of me and I'll try to work on that too. The truth is Christian, I was jealous of the attention you were giving Riley. I know it sounds pathetic, but it felt like you had no time for me anymore. Like I was just a bored housewife sat at home waiting. I felt that way with Hattie too and Andrea and even Brody. I'm jealous when you spend time with other people. I'm jealous when they get your attention over me."

He kissed my neck briefly. "You don't have to be jealous. You'll always be my number one, above anybody else. But we have to have lives outside of each-other too. We have to pursue our dreams and make our friends. The way we've been…all the arguments and envy, it hasn't been healthy. I understand that now."

"I know," I sighed. "It's just hard. For so long it was just you and me. And then we grew up and now I have to share you."

"I have to share you too," he said, and there was a double meaning in his tone which I chose to ignore.

Although I knew that conversation would come, I didn't want it right now.

We sat quietly after that, watching the sun glisten whilst we reflected. Half an hour later, we headed back to mine. My parents had taken Riley out for dinner and so we watched a movie in the lounge. As the evening was finally drawing to a close, the door knocked.

I felt the cold seep all the way through my bones.

We didn't need to pretend. Both of us knew who it was. A few seconds passed in tense silence before Christian bolted up and stormed straight for the door. I sat up, my body rigid with tension as I moved toward the edge of the sofa. Christian opened the door and Ethan stood on the other side. Both of them were roughly the same height; Christian perhaps a hair taller. Christian's eyes were blazing with held back fury and I jumped up quickly, placing myself in front of him.

I coughed, clearing my throat as Ethan looked down at me.

"Ethan," I said. "I'm sorry, this really isn't a good time."

He went to reply but Christian stepped back, urging him inside.

"Oh no," he said, a wry smile on his lips. "It's a great time. Come on in, let's have a chat."

I cringed, knowing nothing good could come of this. I prayed for Ethan to not take the bait, but he did, strolling inside casually.

He looked from me to Christian, before laughing a little.

"Back with him already Ana?" He asked. "Could have given it a few days jeez."

I frowned. His voice was off kilter. Strange and...almost sneering. He sounded like Kate when she was being mean, and I realised I had never seen him in any other form. He was usually kind and polite.

"You knew she was drinking," Christian said, his voice so cold it could have frozen the room. "Is that what you're into? Drunken vulnerable girls?"

Ethan barked out a laugh. "Trust me dude, she wasn't vulnerable. She came on to me and she knew exactly what she was doing."

I glared at him.

"Why are you here?" I asked.

He shrugged, his blue eyes blazing into mine. The soft ones from last night were gone, replaced by a hard steely gaze I didn't recognise. The truth dawned on me slowly. I didn't recognise it because I didn't know him. Not really.

"Thought I'd come round for seconds. I didn't expect him to be here, but I should have known really. You're too predictable."

He then looked at Christian. "Did she tell you what we did? I didn't just touch her or anything. I fucked her. Hard. She was screaming so loud."

Heat and embarrassment flushed through me so hot and intense I felt as though I could cry. I turned my face and the next thing I heard was a loud crunch.

"Don't you ever talk about her like that in front of me," Christian said gravely.

I looked up to see Ethan clutching his bloody nose. Miraculously, he was still laughing.

"I honestly didn't think you'd get back with her," he said cruelly. "Neither did your daddy."

Both of us froze, causing Ethan to laugh again as he reached for the box of tissues to mop up his face.

"What are you on about?" I asked.

He ignored me. "Your dad," he said to Christian. "He knew I spoke to Ana sometimes. He asked me what I thought of her and whether I liked her. I told him she was hot. Told him I'd given her a bracelet once, but she didn't put out, so I backed off. Little bit too needy and childish for my taste. Liked a lot of attention," he shrugged. "I asked why and he offered me five grand if I could seduce her and get her away from you before you left for college. I'm rich as fuck already, but who's gonna turn down money to fuck a pretty girl?" He laughed. "I said sure, why not? Made up some shit and a few days later had you on your back. Mission accomplished."

He looked over at me as he said this, and I felt myself burn with humiliation and betrayal. Anger and hatred for Carrick Grey surged through me so deep that I wanted to tear his face off and scream at the top of my lungs.

"Mission not accomplished," I said vehemently, walking toward him. "Christian didn't break up with me nor did I."

He shrugged. "Not my problem. I got five grand and a good fuck."

I lunged at him, but Christian pulled me back quickly, shoving me behind him. Instead, he pounced on him, punch after punch. Ethan fought back and I screamed, begging them to stop. I was just about to call for someone when my parents and Riley came back from dinner. Riley screamed and my dad pulled them apart, shoving Christian back down. His fists were bloody, and my mom helped Ethan up before he quickly shoved her away.

"You won't get away with this Grey," he stated, before storming out into the night.

Fresh tears fell down my face as my mom enveloped me in a hug. I felt pathetic. Stupid. Used and degraded. I felt worthless.

"How could Carrick do that?" I cried to Christian.

Christian got up off the floor, pulling me from my mom and into his arms.

He smoothed my hair back from my face, kissing my forehead gently.

"He's going to pay Ana," he said, and his voice was an eery sort of quiet. The one that was dangerous and determined. "They're all going to pay."