A/N: I loved you with a fire red, now it's turning blue. Love and be loved. Read… and review!
Live to Serve
Ty Lee's stomach is in knots. The nerves build and build. She assumes the worst will come to pass. It is wholly unbecoming of her to be so pessimistic, but she has never had more to lose than she does right now. She has never held something so precious and important to her like this. Right now, she does none of the holding though. Instead, she feels a hand run through her hair.
"Are you sure you're going to be okay?" She asks again.
"Ty Lee, honestly, you need to relax," Azula runs her hand again through the brunette's braided ponytail. "It's eight minutes, and they have to get to the capital first anyway. Then come find us. Then actually do something about it. And this is all assuming they even still plan to attack."
The Princess and the Circus Star are on Azula's bed in her royal chambers within the palace. Azula sits on the edge of the bed, while Ty Lee lies down and rests her head in Azula's lap. The Princess absentmindedly runs her hand through Ty Lee's hair as they try to enjoy their final moments together.
Any second now she would have to leave, or else someone would come to collect her. Neither wanted that and neither wanted this time to end. They have not really had alone time together since returning to the Capital. Azula was once again busy, in and out of meetings with her father and Zuko. It was also far riskier in the palace, and Azula was quietly terrified of getting caught. But the fear also made it more exciting.
Ty Lee refused to initiate the "practicing," as they had called it. She had wanted it for so long, but now that it was here she feared making things awkward. Doing it too much, or too fast, she didn't want to push Azula away. There was still some guise of this being just friends helping each other, and while Ty Lee didn't believe that to be the truth, she couldn't be sure either.
The whole affair reminds Ty Lee of the moon flower she had given to Azula as children. Azula was much the same way as that flower. In the light of day, seen by the world, she wilts away. The light of everyone watching her drives her to hide who she is. But in the shade, behind closed doors and with Ty Lee, she would bloom into her full self. In the dark, in the safety of the night, under the moon, she blossoms.
It has been 41 days since that fateful trip to Ember Island. They had snuck away to practice a few times, when Azula felt absolutely positive no prying eyes would find them. Ty Lee had thought maybe they would now, in her bedroom, but Azula had just wanted to hold her. She takes in her aroma.
Sniff Sniff
"You know, from here, I can smell you really well."
A little self-conscious now, Azula asks, "Do I smell bad?"
"No, it's," she pauses. The word she wants to say is intoxicating. She settles on, "good."
Ty Lee must join the general populace in hiding overnight, while they both know that Azula's place will be different. They have spent much of their time discussing how Azula has prepared for this moment. She will represent yet another roadblock for their enemies. No one knows it, but all of the servants and guards have been instructed of where Ozai will be, but in actuality it will be Azula's location.
The whole thing is Azula's idea and she is quite proud of it. That blind pride that made her stick to it so tightly, despite putting her in serious danger, had created much anxiety for Ty Lee. Azula would be directly in harm's way if the Water Tribe successfully infiltrated. It was a gambit that put her in the crosshairs instead of Ozai.
Ty Lee doesn't appreciate how quickly and easily he is willing to sacrifice his own daughter. She thinks it is poor leadership, although she would never say such a thing, not even to Azula.
Most of all though, the whole thing creates knots in her stomach. Just thinking about all of the alternatives, all of the possibilities, all of the doomsday scenarios. Ty Lee knows it's only eight minutes, but she is sure it will be the longest eight minutes of her entire life.
Speaking of time, Ty Lee looks at a clock and realizes that she is late now. "Oh shoot," she says sitting up. "I have to get going."
"I suppose you do."
"I'm surprised they didn't send someone to collect me as soon as it was time."
"No servant or guard would dare face my wrath."
Ty Lee giggles at this but nonetheless gets up to leave. Azula stands up as well and walks behind her to the door. Ty Lee grabs the handle to pull it open. She'll say her goodbye at the door frame.
Whoo-
Slam!
Ty Lee tries to open the door, but Azula's hand shuts it closed. Suddenly Ty Lee feels Azula's body weight pressed against hers. She steps towards the door as the body heat pursues her.
"Azula?"
Whip!
Ty Lee is spun around so that she's now facing her fiery friend. She falls back into the door to keep it closed. Azula leans into her, putting her arms up and blocks Ty Lee in. There's a devilish look in her eyes. She leans further in, to breathe in her ear.
"Azula!" Ty Lee says with a hushed breath.
She whispers in the brunette's ear and the hot breath sends shockwaves up her spine, "I want to practice, Ty Lee."
She lightly bites on the ear, giving Ty Lee some further excitement. Ty Lee places her arms up and lightly pushes against Azula's body. She is far stronger and could easily shove her away if she wanted. In this position she could even chi block her, not that she would. Mostly, she knows she can get out of this predicament, and pushing back is more to play the game.
"Azula, we can't, someone could be here to take me down any second."
Azula doesn't care. She brings her whole body to press against her friend and pin her against the door. Ty Lee is on the verge of being out of her mind. She tries to remain cool, but Azula's fire is certainly making things steamy.
Ty Lee tries again, her hands lightly caressing Azula's sides and hips. "We haven't practiced in weeks, Azula. You've been so busy preparing. Why now?"
The Princess stops lavishing her friend. Instead now, she wraps both arms around Ty Lee's back. Their bodies pressed against one another, she leans back and looks into her grey-brown eyes.
"I might die," she replies solemnly. "So if I'm going to die, I want to be better than I was…"
The words had come out of her mouth wrong, and she isn't exactly sure what to say. Perhaps though for the first time in her entire life, Azula had misspoken and said what she really meant, instead of something hurtful. Ty Lee looks into the gold. She nods her head lightly in understanding.
'She's so vulnerable.' Ty Lee thinks.
She loops both hands around the small of her back. Azula keeps her left hand on one shoulder, while her other hand lightly grabs Ty Lee's ponytail. She plays with it in her hand, admiring it a moment before looking into her eyes. Azula struggles to swallow.
"Well," Ty Lee licks her lips and smiles with a twinkle in her eyes. "I live to serve."
Their lips move graciously, quickly towards each other. They meet and their mouths quickly open to one another. Azula has come a long way with just a few "lessons" from her master. This kiss is more ravenous than any before it. They both want this more than anything. Ty Lee doesn't just want this kiss though. She wants the girl. She feels Azula pulling away, so she bites her bottom lip and tugs it as they separate.
Huff huff
Huff huff
They both breathe heavily and press their foreheads together. Azula contemplates diving back in. It felt so good. It gave her strength but scared her. She wants it more every time they do it. And she wants to stop doing it in private. She doesn't want to hide how she feels. She wants to dive right back in. She licks her lips and grins at Ty Lee. She leans back in.
KNOCK! KNOCK!
"Holy sh-"
Azula backs away quickly and Ty Lee steps away from the door. They exchange a look of fear and concern for a moment. They straighten themselves up, flattening their clothes to not be as ruffled. Then Ty Lee steps towards the door to open it.
Whoosh
"Zuko! Wh-what are you doing here?" Ty Lee asks, flushed.
"Do you need something, Zuzu?" Azula asks hurriedly.
Zuko doesn't say anything initially, he just looks from one girl to the next. He has some general confusion about why they're both breathing quickly and their cheeks are flushed. Ty Lee's hair is disheveled.
"Uh, is everything alright?" He asks.
"Of course!"
"Why wouldn't it be?"
"Is something the matter?"
"Did we miss something?"
Again Zuko just looks from one girl to the next, puzzling over what was going on. He simply doesn't care and doesn't have the time to pursue this further. He replies, "Everything's fine. I'm here to collect Ty Lee. The guards told me she was with you, Azula."
"Yes!"
"Of course!"
"I was just leaving."
"And I was walking her out."
"That's why we were already at the door when you knocked."
"Yes, so now it's time for you to go, Ty Lee."
"Yep!" She says and steps out and towards Zuko. He is extremely lost and not sure what is happening or what game they're playing at.
'Oh well, whatever they're hiding, it won't matter to me soon enough.'
Azula puts on a charade, saying, "I'm not coming with you both."
Zuko nods knowingly. He is aware of the plan, and it is crucial to his own. Ty Lee, desperate to make things seem normal, plays dumb. "You're not coming? Where will you go, Azula?"
Azula and Zuko exchange eye contact. Looking away he replies, "Don't worry about it, Ty Lee. She'll be safe. It's only until the eclipse is over. None of us are going anywhere."
Azula nods in agreement with this. Zuko takes a long look at Azula before ultimately turning and stepping away. Ty Lee takes a step as well, but she risks a look back at the Princess. Their eyes linger over one another as Ty Lee exits. They had enjoyed their final moment, but it had cost them their goodbye. Ty Lee thinks about what Zuko had said and hopes to Agni that he's right.
They walk through the long hallways together, headed for the catacombs. They're the two closest and most important people in Azula's life, yet they are barely friends. They've spent so much time together over the years, but can't make small talk now. From their bonfire on Ember Island, they shared some of their darkest secrets together, but couldn't name the other's favorite color. They grew up together, but could pass for strangers. This is what makes their walk together so tense and awkward, while also not being all together uncomfortable. It surprises Ty Lee still when he interrupts the silence with such force.
"I'm sorry that I called you a circus freak," he says, keeping his chin up and his shoulders straight. "That was wrong of me and I regret it."
Caught off guard, Ty Lee immediately responds, "Oh, it's okay, Zuko. Like I said, it's a compliment," she rubs the back of her head and tries to smile. "I'm sorry for what I said about bad skin."
"Don't think about it too much. I forgive you, and I know you weren't trying to say it to hurt me. But what I said was meant to hurt, and for that I apologize."
"I know people say you and Azula are different, but you two are so similar sometimes."
"We're nothing alike." He responds rather coldly.
"Is that so?" Ty Lee is not deterred. "You both act like you don't care about people, when you secretly do a lot. Why else would you apologize after all this time?"
"I'm not capable of doing the things that she can. I can't stand back while innocent people get hurt." He charges.
There is something about his tone that Ty Lee can't place. She comes to the defense of the Princess. "Azula is capable of terrible things, but she would never harm innocent people of her own volition."
Zuko doesn't break stride but he does pause at this comment. He looks sideways at her with an inquisitive look, imploring her to go on.
Ty Lee speaks confidently, "Everyone around her controls her. They take away her ability to choose a life for herself."
She reflects on Ba Sing Se and the Firelight Fountain.
"She could kill," the brunette knows the truth of what happened under that lake. "But she would only do so if it was demanded of her. If she didn't have a choice."
"And what about the Avatar?" He replies.
"Don't be silly, Zuko," Ty Lee plays her own game. "Everyone knows you killed the Avatar."
"Right," he replies curtly. "Because I did."
They march onward in silence. Ty Lee feels good for defending Azula. She is tired of everyone always speaking about the Princess like they know her. Ty Lee can't help but feel like she knows her better than anyone else, even better than her own brother. She wishes she could be more honest with her feelings. She wishes they both could be.
'Here I am, at the end of the world, and I can't even tell her how I feel.'
She reflects on what Azula had stumbled through earlier. 'If she was going to die, she wanted to be better.' Ty Lee agrees with that sentiment. It rings home to her and resonates. She doesn't want to die with regrets. She also wants to be better than she is.
Ty Lee has made up her mind. If they survive this attack, if they are still standing after the Black Sun, Ty Lee will tell Azula the truth. She will tell her how she feels. She will tell her how she loves her.
How she has always loved her.
How she will always love her.
"Azula! Where is Azula!"
Ty Lee sprints through the Royal Palace halls in a frenzied pace. She's barely dodging people going in the opposite direction. Every person who stares at her is asked the same question.
"Does anyone know where she is?"
'Would she be in the Throne Room? In her chambers? Somewhere else?'
No one has told Ty Lee if she is alive. No one had confirmed it. Such a matter after a war-time event would be poor form. The Capital couldn't just let that sort of information be publicly known. If the Fire Lord was killed during the siege, they wouldn't want the people to know right away. They would instead immediately seek to replace the head of the Fire Nation to maintain order.
So it came as no surprise to the acrobat when she is stopped by a blockade of Imperial Firebenders, blocking her path deeper into the palace. Ty Lee is known in these parts, the servants all know her, the guards know her. She is a friend to the royal family. She is best friends with the Princess. She helped lead the seizure of Ba Sing Se. She has been roaming these halls long before any of these men were even stationed in the Capital. Who are they to stop her now?
"Let me through, I'm here to see the Princess."
"That will not be happening, Miss." The soldier tells her.
"Why not? Where is she? What happened to her? Is she okay?"
"We can't discuss that with you, little girl."
Ty Lee grows red with rage. Her entire aura blackens to a dark red. She sizes up the guards. There's six of them and one of her. She didn't like their odds. Her muscles stiffen. She slowly raises her arms up in preparation to chi block them and fight her way in further. Her hands come up into view. The guard talking to her eyes this oddly. What is this teenager about to do?
"Miss," he says threateningly.
The grey-brown of her eyes constrict. She mentally plays out the encounter in her head. She goes through the various iterations it could take on. She plans three moves ahead for every possible alternative. She flexes her muscles and prepares to strike.
"Excuse me," a small voice cuts through from beyond.
The Imperial Firebenders turn on the spot and encounter a small, timid royal servant girl standing behind them. She has brown hair, brown eyes, and light skin. She catches the eye of Ty Lee and says to them, "Yes, that's what I thought. Let her pass."
"We have orde-"
"The Princess was very clear that she be let through."
"But ma'am-"
"I have lived my entire life in service to the Royal Family. I grew up beside this girl. Although we may not be friends, she is closer to the Princess than any one of us here."
"Ugh," they stammer.
"Please trust me, you do not want to be on the wrong side of the Princess today. She may strike you down on the spot if she learns you denied entry to her childhood friend, Ty Lee."
The guards reluctantly agree and allow the acrobat to pass through their check point. Ty Lee walks through and mutters a 'thank you' to the girl.
"Please, follow me," she instructs Ty Lee, who does as she's told.
They march through the halls, far too slowly for Ty Lee's liking. She wants to sprint ahead to Azula, but she still isn't sure where she is hiding. She turns to the young girl.
"So, is she okay? I mean, if she sent out her servants to find me, then she must be okay, right? Where is she? Why are there so many guards? Is she okay?"
"She is fine, but something has happened to the Royal Family."
Relief washes over Ty Lee instantly. 'She is fine.' Just hearing those words felt like a 50 pound weight off of her chest. The release is instantly followed by more anxiety, "What? What happened? Did… did they kill the Fire Lord?"
'Oh, Agni. If something happened…'
"I do not know, it has not been told to me."
"Who are you? You know me, but I don't know-"
"I am Yuzu, part of the Princess's all-female staff. I have known you for many years."
Ty Lee was not a stranger to this dynamic with the royal servants, but this situation is nonetheless awkward. "Oh, well, it's nice to finally meet you! Wh-where are we going exactly?"
The servant stops at Azula's chambers. "Exactly where you'd imagine she'd be."
Ty Lee stares at the door a moment. She turns to Yuzu, and bows slightly, "Thank you for your help. That would have been much bloodier without you."
"I live to serve. Although I doubt a single drop of the blood would've been yours," Ty Lee rises up at this ready to joke about it. Instead, Yuzu bows herself and says, "I will leave you to attend to the Princess. It is what she desires."
Without another word, Ty Lee is left alone at the entrance to Azula's royal bedroom. Her mind rushes. The fear from just a minute ago that something had happened to Azula. The fear now of what may have happened to the Fire Lord.
Knock knock
She stands a moment and waits. She wants to tell Azula how she really feels. And for a moment she thought she had lost that opportunity. Now, she has the chance again. She can do it. She will do it. She must do it. She can not be a coward.
Whoosh
Another servant stands on the other side of the door. Ty Lee tries to peer around her, "Is Azula-"
"Is that her?" The familiar voice sings to Ty Lee.
"It is, your highness." The girl turns and for the first time Ty Lee sees her. Standing in the room, surrounded by her servants.
Ty Lee steps in and Azula immediately shouts, "All of you, out now."
Ty Lee stands at the door with her hands clasps together as the four servants all quickly stream out. Ty Lee patiently waits. She watches them go. She anticipated the door closing. She prepares to lunge at her best friend. At her love.
Whoosh
The door shuts behind and Ty Lee can not contain herself. She bursts forward and runs at Azula. The Princess does not move at all. She stays in the middle of her bedroom. She doesn't even raise her arms up to embrace the brunette.
Ty Lee wraps her arms around her and holds her tight against her body, perhaps too tight. She squeezes Azula and never wants to let go again. "I was so scared-"
"Ty Lee."
Her voice belies the point. Ty Lee leans back and looks at her friend. There is something unsettling about her demeanor. A sadness about her. Ty Lee asks, "Azula, did something happen to your father?"
"No. He was untouched," she says. "The plan worked perfectly."
She turns away from Ty Lee and steps towards the bed without saying anything. Ty Lee is confused. 'If the plan was perfect, then why is she acting so somber?'
"Then what happened?"
She turns back and looks at Ty Lee. Their eyes meet. Azula tells her, "Zuko… he's gone."
"They killed him?" Ty Lee asks, paralyzed on the spot.
"No," she shakes her head. "He betrayed us."
Ty Lee feels like the walls are falling down around her. He… betrayed them? She had just walked with him last night. They had been together when he escorted her to the catacombs. Now he is gone? Had he been planning it then? Did he know then that he would do it?
Azula doesn't cry, but Ty Lee can tell she's upset. She is haunted by this development. She looks fractured. Ty Lee moves towards her, "Oh, oh Zula."
She hugs the girl and they stand by the bed. Azula doesn't resist or return the hug. Ty Lee just holds her for a few moments. She had thought, assuming Azula was fine, that this would be a celebratory moment together. One to commemorate their great victory in the War. Instead, she needs to keep the pieces together. Prevent Azula from cracking. She is a brittle piece of glass, ready to break.
Azula thinks about what Ty Lee said. Not now, not the day before, not even since Ember Island. She thinks back to their conversation after dinner in Ba Sing Se.
'I think you're afraid to end up alone.'
Azula had pictured a nightmare life without Zuko then, and now she is living it. She feels empty inside, even as Ty Lee holds her at her bedside. Alone, away from prying eyes, victorious, yet she couldn't enjoy this moment. She has lost something important to her. No one understood what it was like growing up in Ozai's home. They only ever had each other. They had protected each other over the years. A part of herself went with her brother.
"Why would he do this?" Azula asks.
"I don't know." Ty Lee responds, rubbing her back. "I wish I could explain it."
"You said he wouldn't leave," Azula says.
'But what do I do if they all leave me? What if they get sick of me one day and just leave me.'
'They won't do that, Azula.'
Ty Lee remembers and regrets her comment from that walk on the beach. How she had originally assured her that the people closest to her, like Mai and Zuko, wouldn't abandon her.
"I know. I'm sorry, Azula. I never saw this coming."
"I'm going to find him," she says now, her mood changing. "And I'm going to bring him back down to my level. Make him regret his decision."
Ty Lee pulls back from her precious friend and looks at her. There's a sorrow-fueled rage in her eyes. "I'm going to take everything from him."
Ty Lee pulls her back into her arms. Azula just wants her brother back, but the betrayal has cut her deep. In ways that she can't fully understand yet, but nonetheless feels. She cycles through memories of her brother and plots what she will say or do when she finally faces him again.
Ty Lee sits and reflects on the last thing that Azula had said. How she wants to take everything from Zuko. This is exactly what Ty Lee thinks has already been stripped away from Azula: everything.
Everyone believes that she has everything. Her power, her ability, her strength, her mind. 'Everyone adores her' is something Zuko would say. But, really, everything is exactly what the world has taken from her. She wasn't allowed to grow up like a normal little girl. They stole her childhood. They stole her normalcy. They took everything from her. They've taken so much already and now this. The girl that Ty Lee knew in the royal garden smiling against the beautiful sunset behind her is not the same girl who she now holds in her royal chambers.
"Ty Lee," Azula interrupts her thoughts. "I need you to promise me something."
"Anything," she whispers in her ear.
"Promise me that you'll never betray me like this. Promise that you'll stay by my side, always."
Ty Lee squeezes her friend tight against her body. She thought she was coming here to confess her feelings. Those will have to wait. Right now, Azula needs her best friend more than a girlfriend.
"That's the easiest promise I'll ever make in my life, Azula."
"Please, just say it."
Ty Lee smiles. She doesn't hesitate at all.
"I promise I'll never betray you, Azula."
A/N: This Chapter's OST is "Paradise" by Constance.
Love always. Tyzula forever.
Notorious