Lando Calrissian

1. Insist on calling him "Mando", "Rambo", "Lambo", or anything else that rhymes with "Lando".

2. Hide ALL of his capes!

3. Shave his mustache when he's asleep.

4. Bring up literally anything that has to do with Han owning the Millennium Falcon or winning it from him.

5. Imitate Vader's breathing when he enters his dining room. Hide under the table so he doesn't know it's you.

6. Land in Cloud City without his permission.

7. Get Sabine to paint hilarious cartoons all over the nice white walls of his palace. Tell him that it needed a facelift. Seriously though, Sabine might give it nice and fashionable facelift.

8. Give him a pink, princess-y cape for his birthday, and make sure that everyone sees it. Bonus points if it's super glittery! Don't do this if you think he will like it. He likes fancy capes as a general rule.

9. Remind him of the one time he knocked off the Falcon's satellite dish after he promised that he would bring it back to Han without a scratch.

10. Kidnap Lobot and tell Lando that you fed him to the sarlacc. Make sure to treat Lobot nicely while he's with you though! Bonus points if you convince him that it will be the PERFECT way to prank Lando so that you can blame the prank on him when Lando finally figures it out comes after you. OR

11. Build a realistic, moving sarlacc in the middle of his room, and make sure that it grabs him!

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A.N.: For some reason, I can imagine Lando and Han and the rest of the gang at an old-school disco jamming to the club mix version of Lapti Nek. You know, with the disco balls and the lights and the roller-skating. :D By the way, if you've never heard that song, do yourself a favor and look it up, especially if you like 70's and 80's dance music. The other versions are good too (MECO, Urth, and "Fancy Man" which is what the version with the original English lyrics is called), except maybe the one that ended up in the original Revenge of the Jedi. Anyway, that's enough rambling for today. :)

Guest: I've heard of those books too, and they sound pretty interesting. I have yet to read them though.