...f three, 7 sets of three, 8 sets of three, 9! Wow, this was an amazing idea and I am ashamed I didn't come up with this idea before! Past me, you are a fucking idiot! But still, this is going STRAIGHT in the inven, no chance of this haul getting lost!

"Wh- where did the money go!? What did you d-"

"Relax. I just... Put in a pocket convoy. Yes, that is actually a really concise way of putting it. Well done, me."

"A... pocket convoy?... What?"

"Surely, you didn't think my coat is so massive that I can hide away all of what we have inside it! To simply ponder such an idea feels like an immeasurable jest! In truth, this robe is enchanted to automatically store anything in a... Think of it as a city bound inside the robe through magic. I am basically using that city as a massive inventory."

"I- that feels like it should be illegal."

"Yes, I can do incredibly illegal stuff with this."

Ah, yes. Because this was a conversation I wanted to have.

[system notice: you will be experiencing a skirmish equatable to a chapter battle tomorrow.]

"Anyways, you should sleep ea-"

[SYSTEM WARNING: due to unforeseen events, and the meddling of another otherworlder, the date when canon will begin has been shifted! The fated battle shall occur in: 17 hourse.]

Ffffffffffffffffffffffffffffff-

"I stand corrected. Get up, and fuel up. We need to move."

"What is it n-"

"Unless you wish to get involved in a battle between a presumably renowned bandit, the Archbishop herself, and Jeralt's men, I suggest you shove your complaints back down your throat and save them for when we get to the other side of the continent!"

Not caring in the slightest for what hellfire the FDA and PETA will rain on me for this, I pull out a piece of quail and shove the bastard down my gullet whole, rawness and head intact. I didn't need taste, I needed energy.

"Do you need to eat?"

"N-no sire! I already stole some food from a passerby! Sorry, sire!"

"Expect this to be the one time I applaud you for stealing from someone that isn't an enemy on the battlefield or just an overall bastard! Now then, we will be moving out, in the opposite direction of Garreg Mach. You will take the lead, and I will ensure we move unopposed."

"YES SIRE!"

Gunnery would be proud.

"Now then, march, or so help me goddess I will make you wish you were facing the three nations all at once!"

~~timeskip. Because who would want to read a boring-ass march?~~

We did not make it very far. This damn forest was just way to big and confusing! So help me god, if I could, I would whip out a swarm of hatchets and make the deforestation from my world look PITIFUL! But, I am running under the assumption that Jeralt's commission has already camped up, and the last thing I want is the ashen demon of all people laying eyes upon me! The poor, pitiable bastard already gets caught up in canon deciding the fate of Fodlan, last thing he needs is contracting my stupid to make him even slightly think he can even side with the molemen! Because knowing my luck he would! ...wait, who...

"Who's there."

Christ, that wasn't even presented as a question. Welp, time to choke myself with the drawstrings. I CANNOT let the bladebreaker see my hair or eyes, lest he also become a neck breaker.

(rolls:

Progress in the forest: rolled a 5. Crit fail. This led to them not only NOT making progress through the forest, like at all, but also led to them being dumbasses and not concealing themselves. Laugh at the poor little piss baby.)

(oh yeah im also gonna fail an attempt at making a byleth pov for the next chapter.)