Teddy stood watching her 5-year-old patient's mom watch over her little boy as he slept soundly knowing he was safe because his mom was there. She beat herself up knowing she should be home with her babies making sure they knew she would protect them. Instead, she ran, like she did every single damn time things became overwhelming, terrifying … she ran. She had a husband and 3 kids she madly loved with every fiber of her being and yet she still ran.
"Dr. Altman, you're still here"? She heard a voice behind her say
"Ya, I couldn't sleep so I decided to check on Nathan".
They stood in silence watching the little boy.
"Dr. Altman forgive me if this is out of line, but why are you so mean, do you hate teaching? Dr. Hunt told us you were an incredible teacher, that you're this kind person and we're all waiting to learn and see that".
Silence ….
"You heard yourself right…? *Teddy asked coldly* 'we're all WAITING to learn' There is nothing to wait for, if you pay attention it is right in front of you. Have you ever read or seen Waiting for Godot "? About two men waiting for Godot but they Do not know who Godot is, no one knows who Godot is. They do not know if Godot is a thing, a person…. Some people interpret it as meaning, when we have less, we are always expecting something better than what we are given, hoping something better will show up when what we need is right in front of our faces. Do not wait for Godot, seize the moment. I would be a horrible teacher if I always gave handouts. And he is right I am not a naturally mean person. I am a great teacher; however, I have not worked this hard my entire life to just HAND people my advice I expect people to least attempt to match my level. If I say jump 10 feet you should say you can jump 15. I do not care if you fail, my job is to pick up the pieces if necessary if you fail. Failure means you tried, we grow from failure if you do not sit there and dwell on it".
"Hi Teddy Bear"! Nathan waved She walked back into Nathan's room
"Hi darling, how are you feeling? Can I take a listen?"
"You're so good with him, normally he is so afraid of doctors".
"I've a 4-year-old little boy". she smiled "Sounds good my friend! Nice work getting better"! she gave him a high five.
"I'll be back to check on you guys in the morning'.
Back at the house, Owen was feeding the kids dinner
"Daddy, Where did momma go "? Leo asked
"Bud she had to go back to work".
He didn't mean to say to things he said. He knew exactly what Teddy was doing, she was petrified of losing her family. She had no one to call her family for SO LONG, that losing her kids would undo her.
After baths he got the kids down, so he sat and waited for his wife to come home.
She quietly entered their house "Hey" out of the darkness a voice
"Jesus"! she gasped "I am going to bed". She tried to dodge him
"Teddy, can we please talk"?
"Owen, I said I'm going to bed, I'm tired". She paused "what are we doing here"?
"what do you mean"? he asked
"What is our purpose here, that we had to uproot the lives of our children"?
"To serve the men and women serving our country ".
"You're kidding yourself Owen; *she raised her voice * we are sitting ducks! Do you truly not see that?! OUR CHILDREN COULD HAVE BEEN COLLATERAL DAMAGE FOR NOTHING, OWEN?!
"THEN WHY DID WE BRING THEM WITH US"?!
"YOU CONVINCED ME, YOU PROMISED ME WE'D BE OKAY"
"WE are FINE".
Leo woke up and walked out into the hall
"WHAT THE F'IN HELL DO YOU WANT TEDDY! I CAN'T GET ANYTHING RIGHT WITH YOU"! he yelled getting in her face
"Don't raise your voice at me like tha… *mommy* she turned her attention to the little voice
"Oh my god".
"Leo honey come here" she held her arms out to him, he refused
Glaring at Owen "Some parenting, huh? bravo". "Come on Sweetheart "she gently guided him back to his room
"Mommy"? "yes sweetie" she got in and laid down next to him kissing him on the head running her fingers through his curls
"Do you and Daddy still love us"?
"YES! To infinity and beyond! But listen, baby…. what happened this past week was scary… and sometimes even when mommies and daddies say they're not scared… they actually really are, and they yell and cry too".
"When … Mommy and daddy are going to yell or argue … I promise that doesn't change how much we love each other, you or your sister and brother"
"Oh …. Are you scared now "? He asked putting his Lil hand on her cheek
"mmmm a little, but that's mommy's job to worry…. I'm going to worry bout you and your siblings till I am 100+ years old" She laughed "Can I have a hug and a kiss"?
"Mommy"?
"Yes, baby, "she said cherishing holding her 40-year-old 4-year-old
"can we have another baby"? Shocked she did not know how to respond so she just kissed him
"GO TO BED, GOOFBALL. I Love you"! She said getting out of bed and tucking him in. "Sweet Dreams "
"He okay"? he said as she walked into their room
" Ya… HA! He asked for another baby". She chuckled shaking her head
"WHAT "?! He said laughing
"You heard me the first time".
She turned around to him staring at her "Why are you…. OH, HELL NO! ABSOLUTELY NOT"!
"Jesus Owen"!
"We are fighting remember. I am still really pissed at you".
"mmhmm"
"OMG, Leo said that on purpose… Did you make him say that"?!
"NO!" She glared at him "Why don't I believe you"?
"Leo … Leo baby wake up sweetie," she said picking him up "Sorry love, hey…Hi Oh I know Hello You, you want some milk or juice"?
"Teddy you've lost your mind what are you doing" She ignored him
"Here you go baby *she sat down handing him a cup of warm milk* Did daddy tell you to tell me that you wanted another brother or sister"?
He nodded "can we "?
"When did daddy tell you to ask me this"?
"Tonight".
"Oooookayyy… back to bed, love, sweet dreams".
"It's not happening Owen, shut it down". She said going to bed. "Seriously reflect on my question of what we're doing here".
"Teddy if you really want us to move, I will look into be assigned elsewhere".
"IFFFF you REALLY want that baby idea to even be considered… we'd have to move first".
"Fine"!
She rolled her eyes ….. "goodnight Owen".
"TEDDY! TEDDY! TEDS wake up, we're moving to Germany"
"What? When"? she woke up groggy
"End of the week babe! The night after the bombing … I put feelers out for new jobs. I knew you wouldn't want to stay here".
"You did? and yet you let me throw a fit ?"
"I know Teddy. What kind of husband and father would I be if I didn't know that my kids have the most terrifying mom on this planet? NO ONE messes with Teddy Bear's kids. What kinda husband would I be If I didn't know that my wife probably die if her family was taken away from her?
Teddy, look at me – I know you've faced so much loss, I promise you nothing will ever happen to us. No one will come in, in the night as steal away your family while you sleep".
"Thank you" she hugged him
"Can we try" ? he winked
"Can we try …. What"?! she asked
"for a 4th baby…" he said kissing her
:" NO OWEN! Get off me"! *Daniel let out a cry* Speaking of baby …. I hear one crying, motherhood calls "
A week later they were all moved into their new house in Germany.
"Finally, I can breathe a little easier" Teddy sighed
"Dear baby daddy of mine…. What are we doing for birthdays "?
"Ohhhhh that… Maybe the zoo? How about we ask Leo today"?
"GOOD MORNING, soon to be birthday boy"! Teddy cheered seeing Leo walk into the kitchen
"Buddy, Dad and I were wondering what you wanted to do… the zoo is near by".
"YESS! Let's go to the zoo"!
They spent the rest of the day unpacking and getting settled in. "Thank you for listening to me, " she said while moving a table.
"I always will hear you out, even if I don't agree".
"I know". She smiled "Hey! How about we take the kids to the park"?!
As They sat on the grass with Daniel and watched their kids play Owen glanced over and watched Teddy… for once she didn't have a wrinkle in her brow and she looked at peace watching her kids play. "Hey" he poked her
"Ya"? she said smiling still watching the kids
"I love you".
She looked at him " I love you too "
"GOOD BEAUTIFUL MORNING to my Birthday Baby"! Teddy got in bed and snuggled her 4-year-old
"You can stop calling me a baby now, you know. I'm not a baby anymore …I'm 4 ". Leo said holding up 5 fingers
"You're always going to be my baby. Forever and always, even when I'm old and grey and you have to take care of me".
"I think Daddy made you Birthday waffles you should go see"! "Go go go "!
Finishing breakfast they piled into the car and headed off to the zoo
"Mommy Mommy look at the Lion"!" Leo ran to the enclosure
"That's right love"!
"I'm glad we did this, "Owen said wrapping his arm around teddy, he could not remember the last time they were just Teddy, Owen and the kids. Either something horrible was happening or they were fighting or working.
"me too "kissing him "Now that we're in a safe place, we can do things like this more often… plus more things TO DO…. Allison's birthday is right around the corner…. ".
"Yes, I remember, how could I forget. We should do something fun…..Liiikkkkeeee get nanny, a hotel suite and make a baby "he said excitedly
"Dude … EW NO that's ….I don't know, kind of weird. *she grimaced * By the way, what is it with you and a 4th baby talk?! You know what? * she smiled putting her hand up * I am not even going to get worked up b/c it has not happened, and I want to be present with my birthday boy today!
She said walking over to her kids on the playground
They spend the entire day walking around the zoo, her kids were happy and safe she and Owen were in a good place she was on cloud 9.
Owen's phone rang
"Hey, you guys, look who it is"! showing the kids his phone
"Grandma Evelyn"!
"Helloooo my beautiful Grandchildren, I miss you SO MUCH! Where's my birthday boy"?!
"Hi, sweets did you have a good birthday"?
"Yes," Leo told his grandma ALL about the day at the zoo
Teddy came out of the kitchen carrying a cake and they got to sing Happy Birthday with their grandma
"Teddy dear, how are you doing"?
"Hi mom, good we miss you! Owen and I will have to talk about getting you a plane ticket to come to visit us for the holidays"!
"I would love that"! Evelyn exclaimed "But don't worry bout the flight".
"No… I insist "teddy stopped her.