Chapter Eleven

Still, I Want to Fight for You

Gohan put his pencil down and heaved a deep sigh, his shoulders slumping. Videl must be on her date right now… He looked at the kitchen clock hanging on the wall, frowning as he saw the hour. It was past ten o'clock in the evening, and the boy wondered if Videl got home by now or if she was still with her date.

He crossed his arms over his open textbooks on the kitchen table and put his chin onto them, staring off in the distance.

His heart couldn't stand in place. It willed him to do something, to keep fighting, to go to her and tell her he was hopelessly in love with her and wanted to be with her and make her smile and laugh everyday for the rest of her life.

He sighed deeply, his eyes falling shut as he inwardly struggled against himself.

This was hard. Giving up on Videl… It was one of the hardest things he ever had to do. But maybe Piccolo was right. Maybe she just wasn't the one for him, and someday, he might actually fall in love with somebody else.

He buried his head into his arms and tightened them around his ears. But he didn't want anyone else. He was in love with Videl, and she was the one he wanted to be with. She was the only one for him, period. He didn't care about what may happen in the future – he loved Videl, and nobody else could replace her.

"Sweetie? Is everything all right?"

He wanted to sit up straight and tell his mother he was okay, but Gohan couldn't muster the courage to lie to her. He simply grumbled into his arms and stayed buried into the darkness they provided.

"Gohan?" A gentle hand touched his shoulder; Gohan stiffened. "Gohan, sweetie, what's wrong?"

"Nothing," he mumbled, his voice muffled by his position.

A chair grated against the floor next to him. His mother sat down and put her hand on his knee. "Gohan, talk to me. Maybe I can help?"

He stayed silent for a while, pondering his options. Should he open up to his mom? She might be able to help. She might have some advice to offer.

But, he just… He didn't want to talk about it again. He'd tried with Piccolo, whom might not have been the best choice given his physiology, and then he told Erasa about what happened, and neither were able to offer any helpful advice. Erasa's reaction had been so odd, too, thinking back. Gohan was simply lost as to what her involvement in all this could be. It didn't make any sense.

Sitting back straight on his chair, the boy heaved a deep sigh, not quite ready to look up at his mother just yet.

He swallowed. Would his mom be able to help? Should he tell her about Videl?

"Gohan," Chichi said, her voice soft and sympathetic. She gave his knee a squeeze, encouraging him to open up to her. "I'm your mom, and I love you. You can tell me anything."

His hand reached behind his head, scratching at that constant itch at the base of his neck. At long last, Gohan turned to Chichi. He chewed on the inside of his cheek, still hesitant to speak about his love life to his mother.

"What is it?" she asked gently. She took her hand from his knee and put it on his cheek, looking deeply into his eyes. "Talk to me, Sweetie. I want to help you."

He swallowed again, gathering his courage. "Okay…" Gohan sighed once more, this time in resignation. "I… I've fallen in love, Mom… and got my heart broken for my trouble."

H saw her eyes well up before she pulled him in her arms, holding him tight. "Oh, my poor baby… And here I thought everything was going well at school… Why haven't you told me?"

Gohan closed his eyes, letting some tension leave his muscles in her motherly embrace. "No offense, Mom, but you wouldn't be my first choice to talk about girls."

His joke made her chuckle slightly. "I get it. It's embarrassing. I'd be mortified, talking about my love life to your grandfather, that's for sure."

They pulled back from the hug, sharing small smiles. Chichi ran her hand through his hair, a wistful glint in her eyes. "You've grown up so fast… How are you already old enough to fall in love?"

She sighed, pulling her hand back, and faced him fully, a slight frown forming on her brow.

"So, tell me. What happened?"

And he did. He told her everything, how he met Videl, how he slowly but surely fell for her, how he tried to kiss her on his birthday, and how she rejected him… And then he told his mother everything that followed, up to their last goodbyes at the library.

A thoughtful frown had taken over Chichi's features. She stayed silent well after he was done telling her everything, and Gohan had a feeling she understood something that evaded him.

"What is it?" he asked her, fidgeting in his seat. Her silence was making him edgy.

"It's about what Videl told you… How she would be betraying her best friend if she accepted your feelings."

Gohan couldn't help the rush of hope welling up inside of him. Could it be…? Did his mother figure out what he'd been racking his brain about ever since Videl uttered those words? Did she actually understand what Videl meant by that? Was he finally going to know how Erasa fit into all this?

"Do you know what she meant, then? Because I'm completely lost…"

"Well," Chichi started slowly, her eyes shifting to the side for a moment before turning to him again, "I don't know if I'm correct, but perhaps Erasa has feelings for you, and because Videl doesn't want to hurt her, she'd rather not be with the boy her best friend likes. Does that make sense to you? Do you think that might be it?"

Gohan stared at his mom, his mouth gaping, his eyes wide open. She… She figured it out… Just like that. Was it a girl thing? O was he actually that clueless? How did she do that so easily? She had to be right – it all made perfect sense. It was the only explanation possible. Why else would accepting Gohan's feelings be betraying Erasa? It fit perfectly.

No, wait… Wait a minute… Erasa… Erasa liked him? Like, liked him?

Was he really that blind? Was it true? How could he have missed it? Was it really true? Erasa? Erasa liked him? Him? Could it be true? How did he not see anything? He just couldn't believe Erasa, his very first friend at school; Erasa, whom he never even considered as anything more than a good friend – was this for real? Erasa?

And then the realization hit him like a ton of bricks. Erasa… Erasa liked him. Videl wouldn't betray her best friend. Videl did love him, but because Erasa liked him, she couldn't allow herself to be with him. They couldn't be together because Videl was too loyal a friend and wouldn't knowingly hurt Erasa by accepting his feelings.

Was he actually that blind? He wondered again. He just didn't get it. How could he have not seen anything at all when it'd been right under his nose all along? His brow furrowed in concentration, remembering the times he hung out with Erasa, and tried to figure out what he'd been missing. So when she touched his arm at times, it wasn't just her being friendly? Her sweet smiles, her attitude towards him… He'd always thought Erasa was just an overly friendly person; she sure seemed like the type. Did she act towards him any differently than to others? Could it have been so obvious that his mother figured it out right off the bat without even meeting the person concerned?

"So it's hopeless then," he whispered, covering his eyes with his hand. "Videl's never going to betray Erasa… And that's that."

Something occurred to him. His breath hitched in realization. So that was why… Erasa's reaction the other day, when he told her what happened between him and Videl. Gohan winced. Of course she would be shocked to hear that the boy she liked had confessed to her best friend.

He was an idiot. A blind, clueless idiot. Because of him, Erasa was probably as hurt as he was right now. Everything happened because he couldn't get a hold of his feelings for Videl… If he hadn't tried to kiss her on his birthday, if he hadn't messed it all up back then, none of this would have happened. Videl would still be his friend and his secret crush, nobody would have shed a single tear, and the three of them would have continued to be friends and lived happily in blissful ignorance.

His eyes unfocused as he recalled one particular instance. It'd rained really hard after school, and most of the students had been waiting inside until the rain stopped. Gohan wouldn't have had minded going home in the rain, but it had given him an excuse to stay longer in the library and hang out with Videl. It had been just the two of them, talking quietly in the library, sharing smiles and stories they had read.

Her eyes had sparkled in that special way as she looked at him, leaning closer to him. Her peachy scent had washed over him, and he'd closed his eyes in content, listening to her low voice, letting her enchanting, peachy scent wash over him.

It had happened before his birthday; before he'd gone and ruined their relationship.

Gohan wanted to go back to that time. He wanted to go back to that wonderful intimacy they used to share. He wanted Videl to look at him that way again, her gorgeous blue eyes focused only on him. He couldn't stand the idea that she wouldn't smile at him again, wouldn't even look at him or talk to him again.

But that was never going to happen. It was hopeless. Utterly, painfully hopeless.

Was his heart ever going to mend?

"No, Gohan, it's not hopeless," his mother said firmly. "You don't have feelings for Erasa, do you?"

He frowned. Things would have been easier if he did. "No, I don't."

"Well, then she'll just have to get over you and move on. You can't put your own happiness on hold because it might hurt somebody else's feelings. It's not like you were going to go out with her just because Videl rejected you. Erasa never had a chance with you, and the sooner she gets that and finds someone else to be with, the better it'll be for the three of you."

He sighed. "I don't know… If I were in her situation, if Videl didn't share my feelings, I don't know if I could get over her…"

"Well, I'm not saying it's going to be easy, but it's not hopeless, Gohan." She cupped his cheek and offered him an encouraging smile. "I'm sure you and Videl will get together eventually. Erasa will get over you."

"So I have to wait until she's over me? That's it?"

"That, or you talk to her and tell her how you feel about Videl. I'm sure she's a reasonable girl. She's not going to push two people who love each other apart for her own sake, especially if she cares about both of you."

Gohan swallowed. This sounded too good to be true. If it were that easy, why hadn't Videl told Erasa about what happened between them? Surely there must be a reason she couldn't admit to her best friend that they both had feelings for the same boy, right?

"It won't be easy," Chichi said again, a grave expression on her face as she nodded her head. "And Erasa will hurt a lot, but in the end, she was always going to hurt because you weren't going to grow to like her in that way."

His mother was making a lot of sense. Gohan swallowed. He wanted to hope, he wanted to believe this was possible. He wanted to be with the girl he loved. He wanted to fight for her.

But… Was it fair if it meant hurting their dear friend in the process?

ooOoo

This was a bad idea. He should've just waited for Monday and talk to Videl then. But his impatience got to him. Gohan didn't want to wait another second. He wanted to be with Videl. His mother was right; he was never going to like Erasa as more than a friend, so what was the point of making all three of them miserable with this situation? Surely Videl would see it that way too, right?

But she had her date tonight. And she still wasn't home from it. Gohan impatiently looked at his watch for the umpteenth time, pursing his lips at the late hour. It was already past eleven o'clock. Where was she? Why wasn't she back yet?

He felt a painful, wrenching tug in his chest, as a horrible thought crept to his mind. What if she wasn't going to be back? What if… What if she… Gohan swallowed hard, each of his heartbeats throbbing torturously as his imagination worked against him.

What if Videl was spending the night with her date?

His throat tightened and suddenly he was having trouble breathing. He put his hand on the wall behind which he was hiding, to steady himself, feeling dizzy with the heartbreaking, hurtful thought that his precious Videl, the girl he loved, might be…

No. She couldn't be. Could she? No way, not Videl. It was only the first date. She wasn't that kind of girl. But what if it went too well…? What if the other guy seduced her and they ended up…

No, no, no, no. No! He could not stand the idea. She couldn't. She loved him. He knew she did; he felt it when they kissed, when they held each other, when she cried for him… This couldn't be happening.

He clutched at his heart. It hurt so much. Just the thought of Videl with some other guy… If only he had figured out about Erasa sooner, if only he had talked to his mother earlier, he wouldn't have let Videl go on a date with another boy. He could have talked to her, they could've found a way to be together, and Videl wouldn't be doing god knows what with god knows who.

He shut his eyes tightly. Gohan felt like thousands and thousands of needles were playing darts with his heart as the target. It was the worst kind of pain, including all the times he'd been close to dying. At least then, he could be healed. At least then, it was fixable; he knew the pain wouldn't last, that it'd go away eventually.

Now, however…

It just hurt so much. Was he really asking for too much? Did he not deserve some happiness after what he sacrificed for the world? Couldn't he even be with the girl he loved more than anything?

It just wasn't fair. Why was Videl on a date with another guy? It should've been him. She should've chosen him.

The sound of an engine made him look up. Relief washed over Gohan as he spotted the motorbike from the distance. Videl was finally back. His stomach churned, however, when he noticed the guy who was riding the motorbike, and Videl, behind him, holding him about the waist.

They pulled up, and the boy helped Videl off of the bike. Gohan watched their exchange with a tight knot in his gut as the guy hugged Videl.

Damn it. It should've been him.

The guy said something in a low tone, but Gohan couldn't hear anything from his spot. Videl smiled and replied something… And then… And then…

NO! His mind screamed in despair and outrage. GET AWAY FROM HER! NO!

He was leaning in, going for a kiss… and Videl wasn't pulling away. Gohan turned away from the couple and buried his face into his hands. His heart couldn't stand the sight of them. They were actually kissing… Videl was kissing another guy. She'd already replaced him, forgotten about him. And he felt like dying.

This couldn't be happening. It wasn't supposed to be like this. Videl was supposed to be with him. He should have been the only one allowed to kiss her.

Letting out a shaky breath, Gohan reluctantly turned his gaze towards the pair again. At least they were done kissing now. The other guy seemed to be frowning slightly, but Videl was still smiling at him.

x

It's only the first date, Videl kept telling herself. Sparks aren't going to fly right away.

She pushed back the little voice in her mind, far, far away in the back of her head; the one who kept whispering to her the whole night, about how Gohan had been able to make her feel like a puddle of goo right from the start. How he was so much more fun than Reece, and funnier, and more interesting, and smarter, and wittier. How he was much more adorable, had a much cuter smile.

She'd kept comparing Gohan and Reece the whole night. The whole… friggin'… night. Every time Reece did something, said something, or smiled at her… Every single time anything happened, she would imagine what Gohan would have done, how he would have reacted, or what kind of smile would be on his handsome face.

The whole freaking night. UGH.

Reece had been so sweet on their date, too. He'd taken her out to a very nice restaurant. Nothing too fancy, but very nice indeed. They had dined out in the dim light of the terrace, and had a very good time together. And yet, she simply didn't feel the little spark that should have happened. When Reece would hold her hand, or touch her arm; when he would move close to her, or when he hugged her just now.

Nothing. She felt nothing. Not even the tiniest little tingle.

She wondered if Reece couldn't feel a thing either, or if, on the contrary, he did feel something. If he did, maybe with time he could transfer his feelings to her. Sometimes attraction needed time too, right? She just needed to be patient, and surely, sooner or later, she'd finally get over Gohan. She'd finally stop thinking about him all the time and stop comparing him with every little thing she saw in Reece. She just needed time.

She hated that she was using Reece like this. He was a genuinely good guy, and she couldn't even stop thinking about Gohan for two seconds

"Well, uh, good night, Videl," Reece said softly, an awkward smile on his lips. His bright green eyes gleamed in the light of the street lamps. Gohan's black, gentle eyes would've looked much nicer in the dim light, she mused.

Forcing her thoughts away from Gohan for the umpteenth time that night, she nodded her head. "Good night, Reece. I had a very nice time."

"Does that mean I get another date?" he asked, grinning hopefully.

She chuckled. "Sure, why not. I had fun tonight."

"Sweet," he said, grinning from ear to ear.

Gohan wouldn't say 'sweet', thought Videl distractedly. Gohan is off limits, dammit! Screamed her mind in retort.

"Call me," she said, and then turned away to walk through the gates, across the pathway and to her front door.

A strange feeling raised the hair at the back of her neck and she suddenly stopped, looking around swiftly. She caught sight of Reece, still standing at the same spot and waving at her with a broad smile. She waved back distractedly, her eyes looking left and right, the uneasy feeling still not leaving her.

She felt she was being watched – and Videl always trusted her instinct. She knew someone was watching her. But she couldn't see anyone, and eventually she unlocked the front door and walked inside.

She hadn't expected her father to wait on her. She barely saw him at all, usually. It was a wonder, indeed, that he'd noticed her absence. Well, he did not look happy, to say the least.

Not that she cared.

"Who was that?" he asked in barely contained resentment.

"None of your business."

Her father sputtered indignantly and started yelling at her. But Videl simply walked past him to go to her room. She was stopped, however, as the man caught her forearm.

"Don't just brush me off like that, young lady," he said angrily, gritting his teeth. "I'm your father, and you can't act as you like while you live under my roof, use the jet copter that I gave you, and not to mention all the money you want which I earned."

She broke free of his hold – in surprising ease, too – and glowered darkly at him. Her own resentment, which had been growing steadily for seven years, was finally bursting out.

"That you earned? Really?" She scoffed indignantly, her face contorting in a repulsed sneer. "And how, exactly, did you earn all that money, hm? Remind me, Father," she spat the word in disgust, "remind me what you did to become so famous and wealthy."

She saw him open his mouth to retort something, but then a flash of understanding flickered in his eyes; something hit him, and he suddenly turned white as a sheet. He opened his mouth and closed it several times, resembling a dying fish, his eyes wide open in shock and dread.

Videl narrowed her eyes to slits, her lips tightly pursed. "I'm ashamed to be your daughter," she whispered, before turning on her heels and walking away.

She'd finally said it. After seven years of holding it in, of keeping herself from blurting out that she knew… It was now out in the open, and there was no going back. Her father had realized what she meant. That she knew he was a liar, a fraud, a fake. That he had lied to the whole world so that he could be worshipped like a god.

He now knew how much she resented what he'd done.

She vaguely heard him try to hold her back, faintly, letting out a pained whimper. She forced herself not to feel bad for him. He had no right for her compassion; he'd lost that right the moment he'd made her an accomplice of his horrible, hateful lie.

She collapsed onto her bed and hugged her pillow close to her chest. Her eyes stung, and she closed them. A few tears slid out from beneath her closed lids, and Videl let out a quiet sob.

Seven years ago, before the Cell Games, both her and her father had respectively, and rightfully, won their category of the World Martial Arts Tournament. That day, her father treated her to the most luxurious and expensive restaurant, telling her how proud he was of her, how he couldn't be happier that she was following in his footsteps. How her mother would've be so proud, too, seeing her with the Junior Champion Belt when she was only nine years old. How he was sure that she was watching over them and celebrating their victory, too, up in heaven.

How he was the happiest man ever, and that he couldn't ask for more.

Then why, Daddy, thought Videl helplessly, more silent tears staining her sheets. Why did you need to lie to get so much more?

She wished she actually didn't care. But more than anything, she wished for her daddy back. She wanted the man of that special day to come back; the loving, honest dad she'd looked up to with undying admiration, and who actually deserved it.

She wished she could stop caring about him.

She felt so lonely and miserable. She blew out a shaky breath… and wished Gohan could be here with her. With all her heart, she wished he could hold her against him, let her lean on his shoulder while she cried. She wished he was here with her, comforting her, whispering sweet words to make her feel better. If it were him, she knew he would've been able to make her feel better again. To make the world right again.

She needed his presence. She needed his arms, his warmth, his scent, his soothing voice. His lips, on hers. She needed to feel the fireworks again. She needed him so much right now…

But he was off limits.

She was completely, utterly alone.

x

He had waited some more after she got in her giant house, giving her the time to get to her room so he could go see her alone.

Gohan frowned. Something was off. Why did Videl's aura feel so distressed all of a sudden? What was going on? What could have happened in the brief lapse of time between the moment she said goodbye to her date and now? It hadn't even been ten minutes…

He hovered towards her balcony. He touched down on the tiled floor almost noiselessly. The curtains were drawn, but his acute hearing picked up the sound of sobs.

A tight knot constricted his throat, wrenched his gut. What in the… What could have happened when she got home? Why was she crying? Damn it, he'd given up on her precisely because he didn't want to make her cry anymore. Who was the bastard that was making her cry now? Was it that other guy? Gohan scowled. Did he do something inappropriate to Videl? If so, Gohan was going to murder the creep. Or whoever it was that was the cause of Videl's tears.

He tapped on her balcony glass door. "Videl?"

The sobs subsided somewhat. Quick steps rushed towards the curtains, which the girl drew open in a swift movement. Her lips parted and she gasped when she saw him standing there, and Gohan couldn't imagine what was going through her head right now.

His heart tightened painfully at the sight of her red, puffy eyes, of the wet trails on her cheeks. She sniffed as she quickly opened the glass door, and then she all but threw herself at him, wrapping her arms around his back and burying her face into his chest. Her shoulders shook as she cried softly. Gohan moved his arms around her and held her close, offering her the comfort she seemed to need so desperately.

"I… I wished so hard you could be here with me…" she uttered out between sobs and sniffs. "I can't believe… I can't believe you're actually here…"

He kissed the top of her head and rubbed her back in a soothing motion, hoping his presence helped her feel better. "I'm here for you, I'll always be there if you need me, Videl."

"I needed you so much," she cried, tightening her arms around him. "God, my dad's such a dick. I hate him so much."

So this was about her father… Gohan had noticed, ever since he knew Videl, that every time her dad was mentioned, she would scowl and try to change the subject as quickly as possible. He'd always wondered what that was about, but felt it wasn't his place to ask.

Perhaps now it was.

"What happened?" he asked, pulling back slightly to look at the girl in his arms. But she shook her head, using her palm to wipe her face.

"It doesn't matter." She raised her head to give him a half-smile. "I'm just so glad you're here right now. I still can't believe it. It's like you heard me calling you…" She chuckled slightly, like she just said something silly.

"Maybe I did."

A chilly breeze made her shiver, and he suggested they went inside. Videl nodded, and she took his hand to lead him inside her bedroom. The simple gesture, her hand holding his, filled his heart with warmth…

She turned on her nightside lamp and sat on her bed. Gohan sat next to her, his upper body turned towards her to give her his full attention.

He cupped her cheek. "Are you feeling better now?"

She closed her eyes, leaning into his touch. "Yeah. Thanks…"

He couldn't resist… His thumb brushed over her lips. He heard her swallow thickly. She knew what he was thinking, he was sure. He placed his other hand on the small of her back, pulling her closer to him…

"Gohan…" Was it a protest? A moan of anticipation? It sounded more like the latter…

He pushed her gently onto the bed, towering over her. His heart was hammering like crazy against his ribcage. Videl still had her eyes closed, waiting for him – willing.

He leaned in, his breath hitching as he felt hers brush his lips. He gently tucked some strands of hair behind her ear, his eyes falling shut as he slowly closed the distance between them…

The kiss was sweet, tender, loving. It was everything. It felt like… admiring the ocean at sunset, or like watching the stars and the moon on a clear night, or like taking a stroll in the forest on a beautiful day, listening to the leaves rustling to the wind, to the birds chirping happily, to the sound of a waterfall in the distance.

He cupped her face with both of his hands. His heart was ready to explode. He pressed his body against hers, revelling in the way her curves felt against him, and the kiss deepened as he slid his tongue in her mouth. She moaned, arching her back, clutching him like he might slip away if she loosened her grip on him even the slightest bit.

It felt like heaven.

He pressed his forehead against hers, keeping his eyes closed, as he tried to catch his breath.

"Sorry," he couldn't help saying, his voice faint and slightly quivering.

"Why?" she murmured, her pants mingling with his.

"I feel like I'm taking advantage of you… You were upset and vulnerable and I…"

"Did exactly what I needed the most…" she finished the sentence for him.

He felt a smile form on his lips. He was afraid to open his eyes only to wake up in his bed and realize this had all been a dream.

"I did?"

"Yes… I was feeling like crap, and you lifted me right out of that awful mood."

"Me? I did that?"

She chuckled, wrapping her arms around his neck, pulling him to her, and hummed in response. He moved to lie next to her on the bed, bringing her close, allowing Videl to lean into him.

He didn't say anything. Didn't want to ruin the moment with any more talks. He buried his nose in the crook of her neck and breathed in deeply, bathing in her addicting scent.

If only time could stand still. If only they could just stay like this, always…

January 30, 2021