Bonus Chapter for you guys since I left you hanging last time. Per my co-author who said give the people what they want. And here we are!
We hope you like it!
Sheldon
Over the following few weeks, though self-isolating, Sheldon still remained in touch with his friends via video chat.
Not long into the Shelter in Place order, he heard from Howard who looked as he had done after his stint in space. His uncut hair would have shamed a troll doll, and the dark circles under his eyes dipped into his unkempt beard.
Howard pleaded into the camera, "Hey buddy, how are you doing, do you need anything over there. Maybe I can come over for just a minute, you know just to keep you company."
Sheldon rolled his eyes and said flatly, "Per executive order N-33-20, all residents are directed to heed current state public health directives."
"Come on, you gotta let me come over. I need a break from the kids. Bernadette has me working on every project in the house. I can't take another day!"
Sheldon scolded him, "Howard...does the stay at home order mean nothing to you?"
"Look, I'll bring over the latest Mystic Order Ka'ah. I got the aquatic-wizards pack. You have to see the Shark-Merlin. They call it a Marlin."
Sheldon rolled his eyes at Howard and said, "There's already a fish named that, and anyway I bought that pack last week."
Howard looked away off camera and his voice rose as he said, "Oh, so you do have extra toilet paper? That's great Sheldon. I will be right over!" But before Sheldon could reply he heard a loud high-pitched voice over the speaker.
"NO HOWARD, you're not leaving this house. Now come in here and help me with the kids, they put eggs in the hot tub again!"
Howard turned to the camera and begged, "Save me."
Sheldon hung up as another video call came through, this time from Leonard "Hey Sheldon!"
Leonard was covered in paint and holding a roller that was dripping some ghastly colored substance onto the floor. Penny was on a ladder behind him.
"Leonard, what are you doing?"
"Painting... Everything!" He had a strained smile on his face. "Hey Sheldon, I just wanted to confirm that we are still on for the D&D game this week."
"Our omnium-gatherum will have to be held virtually," Sheldon said, as he checked his calendar.
Leonard whined into the camera, "Come on Sheldon! Just because you're doing just dandy without everyone doesn't mean we are. Stuck in the house all day! It's torture!"
"HEY!" Penny yelled from across the room.
Leonard ignored her and pleaded, "We're clean. We have been isolating for weeks! There is no way we have COVID."
Penny coughed in the background and then sneezed, nearly falling off the ladder. Sheldon shook his head. "You know the rules."
Sheldon's instructions to his friends were that unless they could prove they had self-isolated, fully supported by documented proof, along with a current COVID test, with negative results, he would not allow any in-person contact. In fact, he had forbidden Leonard from entering the building to retrieve his mail without a hazmat suit.
"No one can get a test! How can I test every time Penny coughs! I think she's allergic to latex."
"Then you might want to reconsider your birth control methods or you'll end up with a little Hofstadter after this is all over." Sheldon's suggestion caused Leonard to smile, but before he could reply, Penny had jumped off the ladder and rushed over to demand.
Penny sneering into the camera and said, "I bet you and you're new girlfriend are not self-isolating!"
"We are. We have only been speaking through Skype and text. As you are aware, we have already perfected this form of communication. We're doing just fine. We have trained for this." Despite his confident declaration, Sheldon felt his eye twitching.
Penny laughed, and then said, "Really? I can see your eye moving."
"Sorry Penny got another call." Sheldon hung up just as Raj called, his plump face smudged with flour. It was evident that he had gained nearly 15 pounds over the last month. His first true love was in his arms wearing a hand-knit sweater and her perky little nose was covered with frosting.
"Hey Sheldon! I just wanted to let you know, we are following your example and self-isolating." Raj's girlfriend was in the back of the room stirring some kind of dark batter. Raj turned around to look at his girlfriend lick the wooden spoon, and say with a near growl, "The brownie batter is done my love.
Raj turned back to Sheldon with a wink, he gasped. "I gotta go!" and hung up.
Sheldon decided to all call Amy. Dr. Fowler had done marvelously during the quarantine. She had authored two papers, completed an Amish quilt, knitted sweaters for both Howard's children and Raj's dog. She had even learned Danish.
He wanted to let her know Cinnamon seemed to be enjoying her sweater and also to hear her voice, even though it was a few hours earlier than agreed upon.
"I have a few minutes I can spare." Amy smiled broadly and put away her harp.
"Good." Sheldon relaxed in his chair for a moment.
Amy didn't seem phased by the unscheduled call, in fact, she asked if Sheldon could demonstrate the best way to clean the baseboards. Sheldon was more than happy to oblige and carried out the task enthusiastically for about twenty minutes before she hung up saying she needed to brush her teeth. Sheldon was pleased to note that despite the situation, Amy still maintained her oral hygiene standards.
After the call, Sheldon sat in his spot with his Monday night Thai food from Thai the Knot; not as good as his regular place, but at least they had delivery. As he ate his dinner, he looked around his silent apartment. His whiteboards were filled with brilliant theories, there was a fully assembled Lego Death Star, ten completed puzzles, and his entire apartment was sanitized with the detail of a crime scene cleaner. He had even tried to start a workout routine, but when the elastic resistance band he used for pull-ups snapped back in his face, he gave up and kept to hacky sack instead. He was now up to 72.
Thanks to the enforced isolation, he now had more time to himself to concentrate and as a result, he had been more productive than ever. But for some reason, his achievements lacked satisfaction. Something was missing. Quite often he would find himself looking around the apartment for something he thought he had lost. The only time he felt whole was when he spoke with Amy. Their communication via text, phone calls and e-mail was as frequent as before, but even with the added once-a-day video calls, it didn't seem enough.
Sheldon still had Thursday's calls with Amy to look forward to, though given the state of the virus, their third monthly date on May 28th date would be virtual as well.
AMY
Amy was a caring individual, and though she was concerned and worried for those suffering from and having to deal with the global pandemic, for her personally, the last few months in lockdown had been heaven.
She didn't have to drive to UCLA, she could work on her side projects with no distractions and to top this all off, she had a boyfriend. Not just any boyfriend or a made-up horse trainer, oh no. A real man, who had a thriving career, all his teeth and a cute butt. Not that Amy could see it that often, but while on Video calls with Sheldon, she could often find some reason for him to get up and check on something in the kitchen just to see the little sway of his fine tuckas.
Sheldon was doing well, as she knew he would be. He had worked on a number of projects, and she was proud of the fact that he had published a few papers. Their virtual relationship was made for this time. Though their second date had had to be virtual, she thought that it had been amazing. He had set out dinner for two. Her favorite meal, crispy brown Chicken Cordon Bleu, looked delicious and had made her mouth water. He had also played her favorite Neil Diamond songs, set up unlit candles (due to safety reasons and to top it off, a glass of grape juice for Amy, since he had no wine he could steal from Penny. Amy had thought it was the most romantic evening ever.
However, as the month of April made way for May, Sheldon's voice calls had become more frequent, and his video calls at odd hours seemed out of character. She could tell there was something wrong. During one of their video calls, she noticed he had developed a noticeable twitch.
She had tried to discuss this with him, "Sheldon, you are accustomed to a packed social calendar. You and your friends had a standing game night, Paint ball things, movie nights and dinner together. Don't be surprised if you're not doing as well as I am. I'm used to being alone."
"Nonsense." Sheldon leaned forward into the camera and said with a thick Texas accent, "I'm doing just dandy, little lady! Now, let me finish my idea to extend my Fun with Flags podcast to a video show. I call it, Dr. Sheldon Cooper presents, Fun with Flags."
A new project would be just the ticket, she thought as she listened enthralled to his plans. Eager to help, she offered to record his presentation, and send the video to him
"Now that people have to stay at home, they will be eager for something like this. Everyone will want to see that show!"
Sheldon agreed and loved that she was so encouraging. He said, "I know, I don't know how I am going to deal with the hordes of adoring fans. They will want to call themselves some funny name, like Sheldonites, or something."
"Or Flagaketeers."
Sheldon's smile took over his face, and he said, "I love how you get me."
What she had said to Sheldon about being used to being alone, had been true. For all of her adult life she had enjoyed her own company, happily depending on no one but herself. But for some reason now, the complete isolation did grate on her. Thursday sessions were the best time of the week. In fact, she couldn't wait to see Sheldon's face during their next call. She had ordered a costume that she thought would intrigue him. It would be their first video session.
In the meantime, every night, she set up an extra pillow, and put a red Flash shirt on it. Then she'd curl up with it and imagine it was Sheldon snuggling with her. She didn't think anything could be better.
Sheldon
He set up his laptop in this bedroom. Amy called right on time for their Thursday night session. This would be their first session on Skype. Sheldon didn't know what she had planned since it was her turn to come up with their fantasy.
He relaxed back on his bed, with his laptop and answered her call with a wide smile. Amy had on thick robe but her hair was up on her head in a beehive. She had applied heavy eye makeup that made her green eyes pop off the screen.
"Good evening, Sheldon." Her kittenish grin meant she was up to something extraordinary. "Or should I say... Mr. Spock." Amy rose off her chair and positioned herself so he could see her all of her. She dropped her robe to the ground and revealed her outfit: A red classic Star Trek uniform, complete with knee-high boots and black tights, just like Uhura. The tight skirt barely covered the top her thighs.
Sheldon let out a whimper and his voice cracked as he said, "Um...how did you find that uniform." Sheldon felt woefully unprepared. He wanted to run to his closet and throw on his Mr. Spock uniform and ears.
Amy twirled around giving a tantalizing view of her round buttocks as the skirt flared out. Sheldon's lip quivered. Amy said, "Amazing what you can get online! Oh, I almost forgot!" Amy went off frame then came back with an authentic tricorder. "I'm not sure how these buttons work. I want to scan for life forms on this planet using the lower EM band. Can you help me?"
A low moan emanated from his lips, just as she touched the display.
Sheldon's rapid breath almost steamed up the monitor. "I can help you with your dials and buttons, and switches..."
Her hands caressed the black device. Her finger tips played delicately with the buttons on the sides, and gently stroked the chrome seams. Her fingers twisted the dial to find the perfect frequency. Amy removed the hand-held multi-module sensor device and blew on the tip to test the speaker. Her mouth parted slightly and she whispered, "Is this right?"
"I have to go." Sheldon slammed his laptop down and ran to his bathroom to take a long shower. When he emerged, he texted Amy, having missed three calls from her during his 45-minute shower.
"Forgive me for the interruption." He wrote.
Amy sent back a heart emoji and then added. "Maybe we shouldn't do our Thursday sessions over video. Perhaps it is too soon for that."
Sheldon may not have been prepared for a video session with such an alluring subject, but seeing her suggestion, he realized that he didn't want to revert back to their old relationship. The quarantine had done enough damage to their dating.
He wrote, "That seems like devolving. Shouldn't we be moving forward?"
"These sessions are just for your physical release. It's not a part of our relationship's intimacy. We are doing just fine with our current status, in fact, from what you have been telling me, you are doing better than ever before. You're able to concentrate since you haven't any distractions. So maybe we should discontinue these sessions. I'm okay with that suggestion if you are."
He called Amy before she suggested any more cockamamie changes to their perfect routine.
"I wanted to explain my abrupt exit from the session. You see... the tricorder you were using was a medical tricorder. Normally not a problem, but you wanted to um... use the lower EM band, and for that you will need a science tricorder. Common mistake."
"I see..." Amy's soft voice sounded like she understood, but she also could be humoring him.
"I have such a tricorder. You can use that, as it is already calibrated for the settings you require." Sheldon offered.
"How, pray tell, would I get this tricorder? Are you going to ship it to me?" Amy had a hint of derision in her voice that he certainly did not appreciate. She knew he hated the post office due to watching people lick stamps, and other unsanitary reasons.
"I have no intention of trusting the UPS with this. I think you will have to come over here to retrieve it."
Amy protested. "That's a bit-"
"In fact, since you and I have been tested-"
"Sheldon, I told you those home-based tests might not be accurate."
"Regardless, you have been self-isolating, as have I. I believe we can make manage this." Sheldon knew he was breaking protocols, in fact he had only recently chastised his friends for proposing the same thing. However, his mind ran through the regulations and found a loophole.
"What about the shelter in place order? The Governor issued -"
Sheldon already knew what she was about to say and he had the answer. "Per executive order N-33-20, essential workers such as behavioral and mental health workers responsible for coordination, outreach, engagement, and treatment to individuals in need of mental health and/or behavioral services are exempt. Since you not having the right tricorder will drive me crazy, this situation applies."
"I see, you memorized the order?" Her nose curled up when she giggled.
"Of course. Besides...you stated you wanted to bring me those Danish cookies from that recipe you translated, and I can give you the tricorder then. We can try again next week."
Amy protested, "But that's our virtual date. I love our dates, I don't want to miss out with for some quick exchange of tricorders. Let's do it the following week." but Sheldon's lightening mind had already thought of that contingency.
"Well, we can do both. Now, let's discuss the decontamination protocols for our date. I believe one of those hazmat suits I asked you pilfer from your lab will come in handy."
###
By the time their date night had arrived, all windows had been sealed shut with plastic visqueen to prevent any pathogen from seeping in from the outside. Not to mention that the entire apartment and every surface had been cleaned with a home based mixture of anti-bacteria soap, Lysol and hand sanitizer. Amy's lab wasn't cleaner than Sheldon's apartment.
His personal safety precautions included a plastic shield plus a hazmat suit that he himself had 'borrowed' from Cal Tech. Under which, he wore his best clothes; a button up stripped shirt and pressed slacks. He had not forgotten about his promise to let Amy borrow his tricorder, which was now disinfected, and placed in a bag after being wrapped three times with bubble wrap.
He heard the knock at his door at precisely 5:30 PM.
Amy had on a full yellow hazmat suit including face shield. He could barely see her eyes through the cloudy visor, but he heard her muffled voice through the plastic, "Hello Sheldon,"
He wanted to hug her, or at least touch her in some way, but he didn't want to break the six-foot distance requirement. Instead he sprayed her suit with Lysol as she shuffled into the room. She had brought with her the medical tricorder, and a tin of Danish cookies that would have to go through quarantine.
Amy bent to sit in the beige chair, but Sheldon cried out, insisting that she sit on the hard chair at the opposite end of the couch so they could maintain a six-foot distance.
Though Amy sat facing forward, whether or not she was actually looking at him he couldn't tell because of her oversized suit. He heard her voice say something but could not make out the words. He saw her shoulders rise and fall as if she had sighed and he watched her pick up her phone.
"This is nice." She texted him.
"Yes. This is much better." Sheldon texted back. "I have taken the liberty of picking a movie for the evening. Given the state of the world and the requirement that our movies be science based, I chose Outbreak. With Dustin Hoffman and Morgan Freeman."
"Good Idea. We can criticize the science principals while being terrified with the lack of response to a pandemic and poor funding."Amy texted back. "I didn't know you were into comedies." Her suit rippled with her chuckle.
Sheldon started the film.
During the movie Sheldon had to leave the room during the gross parts. He couldn't tell if she was enjoying it or not, but had better manners than to speak during the movie. Then when the person's suit ripped, Amy paused the movie.
"Lab safety violations are always good comedy." She texted Sheldon and restarted the movie.
As the credits rolled across the screen, Sheldon jumped up eagerly.
"I prepared our meal for the evening." and he showed her the smoothies he had made: First course: Pot roast and carrots pureed into a liquid to be followed by dessert of strawberry and cream. Offering her the first course he held out a deposable long straw that she could slip through a small opening in the suit.
She texted him, "This is silly. I can't put a straw through this opening. It's meant for an oxygen tank. The valve is different."
Sheldon didn't agree. He approached her to show her he was right but stopped when he saw through the large face shield that she was wearing Red. A particular Red. Star Fleet Red.
"Amy... are you wearing the uniform underneath your hazmat suit?" He swallowed all the saliva in his mouth and a strange throbbing through his whole body like a pulse of excitement. He drew in three breaths to steady himself.
She didn't answer at first, but curled a kittenish grin up and then said in a husky voice, "I thought it would be fun, since we lost our scheduled night."
He tried to push the straw through her opening suit but his shaking hands couldn't hold it steady. They both froze when they heard a rip.
"This is just like Outbreak." Amy said horrified.
Sheldon backed away from her instinctively covering his mouth with his arm.
"Sheldon! You're fine! Your suit is intact. I'm the only one at risk and you've cleaned this room thoroughly."
"What did you say?"
"I said you're fine!"
"What?" Sheldon yelled through his suit. "It's benign? I didn't think COVID could cause tumors!"
"What rumors?" Amy bellowed. She pulled off her the top of her suit and said, "What rumors?"
Sheldon pulled off his hood and said, "I said tumors!" He yelled, but then froze when he realized what he had done. She matched his wide-eyed stare.
They said nothing for a minute, and then Amy said, "Sheldon. It's probably fine."
"PROBABLY?" he screamed, "Probably didn't help typhoid Mary!" He reached for his Lysol and sprayed the room.
Amy shook her head and as she removed her hazmat suit, she said, "Calculate it. Do it. Now. What's the likelihood we have COVID and we will give it to each other? I'm waiting..." By the time she finished removing all of her protective gear, Sheldon had a number.
"1.5% to 3.5% of the total population of infected...1 in 500 of dying from COVID."
"Now apply that to the population, the likelihood that we have the infection and also factor in that we, wash our hands all the time, use proper protocols, not left home at all, and had regular testing."
The number was too low to mention. The infection rate was that high based on total population. Neither of them had traveled to a hot spot or broken protocol until that moment. Nor were they morons who decided the whole thing was a hoax and went out as if nothing was happening. Amy hadn't even been to a grocery store, and Sheldon knew he was safe. But still there was a minute chance.
Sheldon calculated the odds while Amy continued to remove the entire suit. As she bent over to pull off the final bit he noticed that she had even included the Star Fleet regulation boots. He could barely finish the calculations. Sheldon blinked a few times as he worked through the numbers, and then blurted out, "Quit seducing me with statistics!"
Amy rolled her eyes and said flatly as she sat on the couch, "Sheldon, you and I are the cleanest people I know. I haven't seen another soul in months. I think we're safe." She went to her purse and pulled out a pair of purple latex gloves.
Sheldon thought through her reasoning.
Amy was right; they were the cleanest people he knew. He trusted her to be as clean as his shower, but that only counted as long as he could watch her.
"I concur."
"Good. Now we can finish our date." Amy brushed off her uniform and he could tell she seemed pleased.
Sheldon wondered how long it would be before she was lured into a sense of false security. One slip up, one idiot who didn't want to wear a mask, one moron in Amy's apartment building who went to a party and ignored the required social distancing, and she'd ruin their odds. Worse, what if some stupid politician deems it safe to return to work, and the whole population would be a walking petri dish. Sheldon knew what he had to do. He took off the rest of his hazmat suit and went to his spot on the couch.
"At least we had our date. This is thrilling!" Amy's smile bloomed across her face. "Before we have the next one in June, I will get a COVID test and we can make sure we are safe. Do you agree?"
"No, I do not."
"Oh." Amy slumped her shoulders down and looked away from him.
"We cannot be apart and insure we are clear of the pathogen. The only conclusion is that we shelter in place together."
"TOGETHER? What do you mean?"
"I mean, you need to stay here. For the foreseeable future. Sorry you won't have your lap top, but you can port in using mine as long as you don't look too closely at my browser history. I had no idea searching for "Shampooing a Wookie" would be so scandalous."
"Shampooing a what?" Amy blurted out. Then shaking her head, she said, "Sheldon! I can't stay here! Where would I sleep? What about my clothes? I can't go around wearing my Star Trek Uniform all day!"
Sheldon smirked and bit his lower lip.
Amy restated, "I CANNOT wear this all day!"
"Yes. Well, I think we will have to order you some clothes to be delivered." Sheldon started to think what outfits he could order and wondered if he could get the white Princess Leia costume. Amy's hair would look amazing in twisted cinnamon buns on the side of her face.
Amy looked at Sheldon who for some reason seemed to be having trouble keeping a straight face. He forced his grin away.
"Sheldon, this is crazy."
Sheldon rose off his spot on the couch, and dead bolted the door. He shrugged and said flatly, "Crazy like a very clean, COVID-free fox, I'd say"
So, Sheldon has locked the door. Interesting. I wonder how Amy is going to react to being held captive by Sheldon? We shall see! A few more chapters left here folks. I really hope you like it! Thanks again for the reviews. You guys always catch my little crazy things, like my restaurant names, and call backs to the show. I can't tell you how much it pleases me! Thanks so much. You guys are literally the best part of writing, No cap. As the kids say.