The Hellboy of Gravity Falls 8
I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!
...III...
ANNOUNCEMENT!
I'M GETTING A BOOK PUBLISHED!
SUMMARY:
On the 13th day of the 13th month of the 13th year...magic will return to the world...and the streets will run red with the blood of the (semi)innocent...unless the world is saved by the most unlikely of hero's...baking cupcakes?!
The title is '13/13/13' and it'll be coming to a bookstore or E-Book site near you! Xilbris is the publisher, also available at Amazon, Inkitt and BarnesandNoble.
...responses...
...III...
-And while I'm flattered and I wouldn't be against exploring a relationship with you...I'm just not comfortable with what happened and I'm just not ready for such a big step..." Finished Dipper on Pacifica's doorstep.
Pacifca nodded, "Okay, that's fair. I guess I did get carried away, all caught up in the moment...I'm sorry Dipper, I didn't mean to make you feel uncomfortable."
Dipper smiles, "Well I'm glad your being so understanding..." He then blushes, "Uh...y'know...I wouldn't have any issue doing... 'small' stuff with you." He admits awkwardly...
Pacifica smirked as she grabbed him by his shirt and pulled him over, "You mean like this?" And she then proceeded to make out with him.
Dipper was overjoyed! He was really enjoying this...until he realized that Pacifica was frantically yanking off his clothes!
"HEY!" Shouts an embarrassed Dipper annoyed as he pushes himself away and quickly covers his once again naked form.
Pacifica blinks, "Wow, sorry Dipper...wow, I am sorry. I...I must be like super-overstimulated after everything that happened today...I think I need to take like a cold shower or something...Again, Sorry." She said apologetically.
Dipper sighed but told her it's fine...he then begins to reach down to gather up his clothes-
"Pacifica!? What are you doing out there!?"
Pacifica paled and started to push Dipper away from the front porch. "Crap, that's my dad! Run!" "Wait, I didn't get my clothes-
"WE have FIFTY trained attack dogs, do you really want to risk it!?" She shouts as she pushes him out the gate as flood lights start to activate.
Dipper paled and quickly ran off...naked...with over fifty miles between him and the Shack...
Yep, Dipper was VERY conflicted about whether or not this was a 'good' day or a 'bad' day...
...
Many days later, the Shack is having a party to recoup their recent losses...
"But Grunkle Ford! I wanted to use this party to make some new friends!" Exclaimed Mable as Ford assigned her to ticket booth duty.
"Well, you should have thought of that before you put an innocent girl in the hospital! Besides, the only reason were doing this party is to recover from the lawsuit YOU caused! It's time you learn your actions have consequences young lady!" Scolded Ford.
Mable sulked but Ford remained firm, he even went as far as forbid everyone from trying to take her place.
And so Mable was forced to spend the ENTIRE party outside selling tickets. She grumbled at the sheer unfairness of it all and how boring this was...
-no time for losers for we are the champions of the world!
Mable looks up in time to see a singing Dipper and Hellboy covered in blood as they hoisted a beachball sized eyeball between the two of them...
Evidently, Pacifica had found out how much Dipper looked up to Hellboy and wanted to go on his missions with him...well, that and Dipper's minor unhealthy obsession with comparing his masculinity(or lack there of) to Hellboy...In any case, she convinced her father to drop the lawsuit...he evidently would only do so if Ford shared whatever data he got with the Northwest's R D department...
Ford was annoyed...no necessarily about the latter...although it had been irritating at first to answer to Preston...he had to admit Northwest resources was REALLY helping his research along...
No, what had REALLY upset him was the condition Pacifica assigned to making sure the lawsuits were dropped...namely that Hellboy had to take Dipper on his missions...
Now Ford was no hypocrite. He knew he'd have jumped at the chance to do similar at Dipper's age...and he really did want to nurture Dipper's love of adventure and the paranormal.
But Ford would've preferred if Dipper had worked his way up to something as big as a Hellboy mission!
Summer was actually the perfect time for a 'noob' adventurer to 'grind' experience in Gravity Falls. All the really deadly monsters were in hibernation, Time Baby was mostly restoring his strength from fixing the New Year glitches so temporal anomalies were at an all time low, the witches, pagans and cannibals were all on sabbatical...Yes, Summer was essentially the 'PG' rated season here in Gravity Falls...
Fall was somewhat more manageable- except for Samhain night, that was ALWAYS a nightmare -but it was more unpredictable as there was no way of really knowing when and where any of the level 5-10 monsters would start waking up. Plus the aforementioned witches, pagans and cannibals were usually back from vacation at that point.
Winter was the second WORST season, Fall varied based on how quickly the monsters would wake up...but it was given that by Winter they would ALL be woken up(In recent years, it got so bad that Ford made sure the town was evacuated for most of that time).
But Spring was the hands down the WORST season. In addition to all the monsters and witches about, you also had all the temporal glitches that came with the New Year. It took Time baby and his enforcers ALL Spring to clean them up.
In any case, despite Gravity Falls being the BIGGEST Paranormal hotspot...it wasn't the only or even the WORST(Gravity Falls for it's faults could still be survived if you know what your doing...but other places were less predictable...)
But desperate to get the lawsuits dropped and the threat of Wendy being locked up gone as well...Ford was forced to concede...
Turns out...he was worried over nothing...
Turns out, Dipper excelled in life-or-death situations provided he had guidance of an experienced Paranormal investigator...
During a trip to Japan, Dipper figured out a way to permanently destroy the Japanese demons of Thunder and Lightning.
During the trip to search for Father Kelly's killer in the town of Girat, Dipper deduced it was the Wolves of Saint August that was responsible before showing up and prepared accordingly. Letting them get the drop on that bastard William.
And now they'd apparently succeeded in slaying the Cyclops of Central Park!
They were also making a nice int from the discoveries made made with Northwest research.
Demon ashes had proven to be an excellent fertilizer.
Vivisecting William had helped figured out the lycan gene that enabled William's disproportionate Muscle growth and believed it could be reverse engineered in safer doses.
And it was believed that Cyclopes tears had MANY regenerative properties, which if true would be a boon to medicine everywhere.
Seeing Dipper was tipsy, having split some liquor over their victory...Mable says nothing but just watches as her brother and his new 'big bro' figure stumble past her...and further and further enter a world she did not know or understand...
...
Meanwhile, the party is in full swing inside. Soos was being a great DJ. Abe was impressing kids with experiments and other tricks, Dipper had sobered up enough to have a nice dance with Pacifica...and Wendy...Wendy was still rather drunk and depressed, sitting by the punchbowl...or...drowning herself WITH the Punchbowl really...AFTER spiking it of course...
Pacifica stops dancing and looks at Wendy concerned. "Is...Wendy okay?"
Dipper sighed, "She's been depressed lately...even more so after she gave me that advice that helped me work things out with you...I don't get it..."
Pacifica chuckled, "Oh, sweet, naive Dipper...she wants you to be happy...but she also wants you." She explains with a smirk.
"Me!?" Said dipper who went VERY red. "But...but she wasn't interested in me! We had a whole talk about ti and everything!"
Pacifica just kept smiling, "Take it from someone who's gotten a good look at the seedy underbelly of mankind; 'Nothing makes you realize how much you wanted something...until AFTER it's been taken from you."
"Huh?" Asked Dipper confused, not getting it.
"She didn't know what she had until it was gone." Said Pacifica more plainly...
"Wow..." Said Dipper amazed. "I...I'm not sure how to take that...I- Then it hit him that was being explained by his CURRENT girlfriend. "Uh, wait...why are you taking this so well?" He asked baffled. Inept with girls as he was...Dipper was PRETTY sure that another girl showing interest in a boyfriend was supposed to cause SOME kind of anger...
Pacifica shrugged, "Hey, Wendy's great girl. And considering the crappy life she had before Ford adopted here, how can I not feel bad for her?"
"But...she nearly-
Pacifica made a dismissive hand-wave. "Oh, that? I don't blame Wendy for that, your sister? Sure. But not Wendy."
Dipper just looked at her baffled. "Wait...but...don't your families hate each other?"
Pacifica groaned, "Ugh, don't remind me! The reason is just so STUPID...and Wendy's family was clearly in the right...but try explaining that to my dad!" She shakes her head irritably at the whole thing. "Honestly? I wouldn't mind trying to extend an olive branch to her...want to volunteer?" She asked with a mischievous smirk.
Dipper just looked at her confused, "What do you mean...?" He asked cautiously...
"I'm just saying...if you wanted to do stuff with Wendy on the side...I'd be okay with it."
Dipper looked at her dumbstruck, "Wha- Who- Why-" He stammered.
Pacifica hushed him with one finger pressed firmly against his lips. "Sentences Dipper. Use them." She teases playfully.
"Wha- I- Why would you be okay with that?!"
Pacifica shrugged, "Eh, I'm just going by example: My mom was a literal trophy wife my dad won in a yacht contest. And both my parents have their own sets of lovers on the side."
"Aw man, I'm sorry to hear that..." Said Dipper sincerely mournful.
Pacifica seemed briefly taken aback by the sincere concern for her well-being but quickly hides it with a dismissive hand-wave. "Sorry for what? My parents are horrible people but pragmatic. My birth and my mom's pedigree was all my dad wanted from the relationship. My mom getting to enjoy a higher life of wealth was all my mom wanted. They both got what they wanted, but stay together for appearances sake."
"...and your...okay with that?" Asked Dipper in disbelief.
Pacifica shrugs, "I'm used to it, in any case were both young and 'testing the waters'...so why not give it a go?"
Dipper frowns...he'd be lying if he weren't tempted...despite everything he still did have feelings for Wendy...but... "I don't know...are you really okay with this?"
Pacifica giggles, "Your girlfriend give you permission to be with another girl you clearly like and you hesitate out of concern for me?" She warmly smiles, "That's what I like about you Dipper, most guys your age only think about poptarts and pokemon...you actually CARE about relationships, MY feelings, and all the crap...and that's why you deserve this." She forcibly turns him around and playfully slaps him in the rear to get him moving. "Now go enjoy your reward for being such a considerate boyfriend and hook up with the hot older ginger! Your girlfriend commands it!" She shouts playfully.
A flustered and still VERY flummoxed Dipper walks up to an increasingly plastered Wendy...and cautiously whispers the situation to her...
Wendy turns to him...with a look that seemed to not be able to decide whether or not it should be annoyed, disbelieving or thrilled...
Finally she shrugs. "Ah, frak it. I'll probably regret this tomorrow, but TONIGHT I'm going for it!" Before Dipper can say anything, he's being swept up, thrown onto the punch table and having his tonsils explored by the tongue of the inebriated fiery red head...
While everyone gaps at this scene in disbelief...Pacifica just smiles...not at the scene...but something...something else...something that apparently only SHE could see...
"Wow, that sky-rocketed! Alright Wendy, you just got promoted to VIP...take me to the top you crazy ice queen!" She says gleefully...
...
A man in a dark cloak looked over the seemingly quaint little town of Gravity Falls...he nods to a man in front of a Zinco truck...the man begins to open the back of it...
...
On a day when little water was to be found Man spent awhile in thought and realized that he might one day die, never to rise again. Man sent Dog to God to ask that he might come back to live again, like the flowering plant, after death.
Dog went off and followed his nose toward God. He was soon distracted by the smell of soup, and followed his hunger toward the source. Leaning close to watch it boil, Dog was content and forgot his mission.
Seeing that Dog was lost, Frog took it upon himself to go to God and tell him that Man did not want to live again. If Man were to be reborn, thought Frog, he would soon muddy the rivers and destroy the birthplaces of frogs.
Dog finally arrived to tell God Man's message. Leaning low, he crooned Man's need for rebirth in the song of his howl. God was touched by the devotion of Dog for Man...
But God still granted the frog's wish, because he got there first...
...
The frog men stumbled from the truck and began to make their way to the unsuspecting town...
...III…...
TO BE CONTINUED?
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