A/N: WARNING: Multiple miscarriages, including a brief description of a deformed stillborn fetus. Also a more detailed recounting of the events previously witnessed by Mizuki at Azula's betrothal banquet.
PAST
Naoko couldn't stifle her cry of surprise as she hit the floor butt-first. Color flooded her face as she picked herself back up. What had happened? Things had been going so well! After the court had endured a particularly annoying Talent Night, Ozai had chosen her to sit on his lap. Every single time he'd done this before, it had led to him taking her to his bed. And then he'd asked about Eri, and it just so happened that Naoko had a cute story ready about their daughter's antics during her first birthday party. That had reminded Ozai that Eri's birthday had also been the day that Prince Zuko was banished, which in turn had put him in an exceedingly good mood. Everything had been proceeding exactly as Naoko wanted it…and then Ozai had abruptly dumped her off his lap and walked out of the banquet hall. After a few minutes, Azula gave her a withering glare and left as well.
What had she done wrong? Father had told her that now was the time to start ramping up her efforts to give the Fire Nation a real Fire Lady, and she'd been hoping that tonight she'd conceive her second child. Oh well. A member of the Keohso clan didn't give up that easily. She continued to be the only one with the breeding and competence to rule at his side. What other choice did the Fire Lord have? Marrying Azula? Yeah right.
Ultimately, she did manage to get pregnant later that spring. Everything seemed to be going smoothly; Naoko had barely any morning sickness at all. Then, eight weeks in, she was eating breakfast in the nursery with Eri when she felt awful cramping. Shortly after she returned to her own room, the bleeding started. The whole process was over by lunchtime. Well, that was disappointing, but there was nothing for it but to try again. And she would have plenty of opportunities for that; that whole business with the thirteen-year-old (so naughty of Ozai), and the resulting mass departure of noble-born girls from court, had eliminated a good chunk of potential competition.
She conceived for the third time in late winter of the next year, and it had seemed like she was past the danger zone. She had reached the sixteen-week mark without problems, and her baby bump had recently made its debut. She felt elated during that week's Talent Night, basking in all the attention. But just a few hours later, the pain started as she was getting ready for bed. This time, it was full-on labor, and the doctor was summoned. Naoko tried with all her might to keep her womb from expelling its contents, despite both Mother and Dr. Huang repeatedly warning against this. Her whole body shook from the effort, but she lost the battle shortly before dawn.
Dr. Huang said that the fetus would have been another girl. He had immediately flung a towel over the body, but Naoko begged and begged to see it. The doctor was reluctant at first, but finally acquiesced, warning her that she wasn't going to like what she saw.
She was determined to stay calm and prove the doctor wrong, but then he pulled back a fold of the towel and she screamed when she saw what was inside. Unlike her first miscarriage, where everything just looked like clots, this fetus was large enough to be recognizable as humanoid: about the size of an avocado pear. And it was clear to anyone who looked that there had been something terribly wrong with it; the body was grotesquely swollen. Dr. Huang estimated that it had been dead for two to three days before the contractions had begun. Yesterday, everyone had been admiring her bump…and this had been what was inside it. Wasting all her energy to fight the miscarriage had been pointless after all.
Dr. Huang quickly took the bundle away from her, and walked out of the room, presumably to cremate the remains. Her mother swore all the servants who had witnessed this to secrecy about what they'd seen on pain of death. Naturally, this meant that the whole court knew about it the next day. All Naoko wanted to do was go to sleep for an indefinite length of time and forget that this had happened. Of course, it wasn't that simple; the Fire Lord's children were a matter of state. There was no room for extended personal grieving.
Two days later, she forced herself to get out of bed and made an appointment to see Dr. Huang.
"I don't understand," she told him as she sat in his office, a large room filled with shelves of scrolls and potions. "Why does this keep happening to me? I've already had one healthy baby; why can't I have another? And I wasn't drinking, I swear!"
The look on Dr. Huang's face told her that he wasn't about to give her good news.
"I've read about cases like this in the medical literature before," he said, resting his folded hands on top of his desk. "The exact cause is unknown, but it appears that you may be missing a certain something in your blood that most other people have. That substance is present in the Fire Lord's blood, as it is in your daughter's. At some point during pregnancy or delivery, your daughter's blood mixed with yours, causing your body to build resistance to the substance. Unfortunately, during any subsequent pregnancies, your body will treat the fetus as a foreign invader and attack its blood cells. That is what causes the swelling."
Naoko felt lightheaded, and had to grasp the arms of her chair to maintain her perfect posture. She asked, "I…Is there anything that can be done to fix it?"
Dr. Huang replied, "No. It is unlikely that you will ever give birth to a live baby again. I'm sorry."
She had to bid the doctor a hasty farewell and run out of the room so that he wouldn't see the tears pricking at her eyes, although she did not permit herself to shed them. That night, she made her reappearance at dinner, and tried to act as if nothing had happened. Nevertheless, Ozai refused to so much as look at her. Naoko drank and drank until she forgot that her heart was breaking.
She attempted to convince herself that maybe it was for the better. After all, she already had one perfect child, and she didn't want to risk producing a dud like Shiza had. (And maybe even worse than a dud if the rumors were to be believed; true or not, Naoko had certainly done her part to spread them.) Eri was now two, and captured the hearts of everyone who met her. She had flawless doll-like features, and her baby hair had long since fallen out, to be replaced with a head full of glossy dark ringlets. However, looks could be deceiving. Despite her dainty appearance, Naoko's daughter wasn't afraid to get her hands dirty, often being rough with playmates and giving it her all in her first practice sessions. Recently, Eri had even produced her first little flickers of flame, much to Naoko's delight…and relief. Even the Princess Azula herself had only been a couple of months younger upon reaching this milestone.
It was thus that Naoko decided to have her daughter make an early debut at court. And what better occasion to do that than the betrothal feast for Azula, when everyone would be there? What better way to rub it in the princess's face that she wasn't the only of Ozai's daughters to be a prodigy?
Naoko was full of excitement (as well as already slightly tipsy) when she headed to the nursery the night of the event.
"I'm here to pick up my daughter!" she announced to the maidservant that opened the door.
"Yes, my lady," the servant responded. "Um…let me get Huifen."
Naoko heard this servant have a murmured conversation with the head nurse, who went over to the door and bowed with an apologetic look on her face.
"I beg your pardon, my lady. If I may be blunt…I'm not certain that it would be the best idea to take Eri to dinner with you tonight. She has been feeling under the weather today."
"Nonsense!" Naoko exclaimed, elbowing past Huifen to get in the room. "Eri is a strong child. I'm sure she'll do just fine."
"But my lady, she…"
"I don't want to hear any more about it!" Naoko snapped. She strode into the bedroom, where Eri was lying in bed, wearing a nightrobe.
"Well?" Naoko demanded of the girl's attendant. "Don't just stand there gawking at me. Get her dressed for dinner!"
After Eri had been prepared, and Naoko was leading her out of the room by the hand, she did notice that her daughter was indeed rather pale and quiet. But she didn't think this would be a problem; children got sick all the time. All Eri had to do for the whole dinner was sit in her lap and look cute.
For most of the meal, things went great. Naoko got many compliments on her beautiful child, and seeing Azula miserable was gratifying. The sake and sorghum liquor she consumed only compounded her happiness. The only thing she didn't like was that new serving girl. Drunk as she was, Naoko was fully aware of how Ozai's gaze followed that bitch, completely ignoring Naoko and Eri. Normally, Naoko didn't see her kind as a serious threat, but there was a cunning and intelligence in this one's eyes that bothered her.
Naoko was in the middle of an animated conversation with the new wife of the Interior Minister, who was seated next to her, when Eri tugged on her sleeve.
"Mama?" she asked in a pathetic little voice; so unlike how she usually acted.
Naoko rolled her eyes. "Excuse me. Yes, Eri, what is it? It's bad manners to interrupt Mama while she's talking, you know."
"My tummy hurts," Eri complained.
"Well, we can leave soon. See? They're bringing the desserts out now," Naoko replied. Then, to her talking companion, "Sorry. Where were we again?"
Whoever was in charge of the seating arrangements for this banquet had done a good job. The Interior Minister's wife was fresh at court after the traditional Ember Island honeymoon, so Naoko had never spoken to her before. But the woman, whose name was Yumi, was only a year or so older than her and had a wicked sense of humor. Naoko laughed until she was out of breath at Yumi's superb mimicry of an exceptionally obtuse waiter she'd encountered on Ember Island. She no longer cared that Ozai had summoned that serving wench to the high table and was ogling her, and Eri's second cry of "Mama!" barely registered. Thus, she'd had no real warning when her daughter suddenly gave a wet belch and ejected the contents of her stomach all across the tabletop. Naoko yelped, and the people sitting nearby them all leapt out of their seats in disgust.
"EW! What's your problem, bringing a sick kid to dinner?!" Yumi demanded. Everywhere, people were looking at her with glares of censure. It occurred to Naoko that she had to get out of here before…
"HOW DARE SHE EMBARRASS ME LIKE THAT?"
Oh no. She was in for it now. She shoved Eri into the arms of the first person she saw with a serving uniform on, and ran for it. Ozai was chasing her; she had to get away! However, her legs refused to do what she wanted them to do, and she'd scarcely gotten into the hallway when she tripped over the carpet and fell, sprawling out full-length on the floor. Within seconds, Ozai had overtaken her. He lifted her up by the back of her hanfu, causing the fabric to tear, and backhanded her so hard that her ears rang.
When he released his hold on her clothing, Naoko staggered backward, finally managing to sink to her knees. She gaped up at his enraged face, too stunned to cry. He had never struck her before.
"Well? Do you have anything to say for yourself?" he demanded, voice still raised. "You usually never shut up; why are you so quiet now?!"
Naoko tried, but the words froze in her throat before she could even form them.
This only served to anger Ozai more. "ANSWER ME, YOU CUNT!"
"I'm sorry," Naoko whispered, hand cradling the rapidly swelling bruise on her face. "The nurse warned me she wasn't feeling well. I should have paid more attention." She had to call upon all of training at the Royal Fire Academy to remain calm.
In response, Ozai grabbed hold of her hair and ripped it out of its arrangement, sending diamond-tipped pins and extensions flying everywhere. Then he grasped her now mostly loose tresses in his hand, cruelly twisting until Naoko's eyes watered. But she didn't make a sound.
"I could burn all your pretty hair off right now," he told her, voice abruptly changing from bellow to menacing near-whisper. "Would you like that? Or perhaps I should simply pull it out by the roots. Burnt hair does stink, after all, even worse than burning skin; I should know."
"Whichever punishment you deem fit," Naoko murmured. For some reason, Ozai didn't seem to know how to respond to that. After a few more twists, he let go of her hair and allowed her to get to her feet.
"You will leave court as soon as possible and complete your recovery at your family's estate in Shuhon," he ultimately said. "Your daughter will stay here."
"Yes, Fire Lord. Thank you, Fire Lord," she said, continuing to do her best to maintain her dignity despite the situation.
As Ozai finally gave Naoko permission to leave, her primary concern was booking an emergency appointment at the spa for first thing tomorrow to trim off the damaged ends of her hair. It was only after this had been achieved that she remembered to check if Eri had made it back to the nursery. (She had.)
Naoko ran into that serving girl again the day before she left, but later couldn't recall what she had said to her. Neither did she remember much about her exile. Her parents were furious at her, of course, but they usually stayed at the palace, so Naoko had the entire house to herself. She could drink the days away if she wanted, which she often did, because now there was no reason not to. Plus, whenever she was sober, she started thinking, which was never a good thing.
Look at you. You had so much potential. Almost every unmarried nobleman wanted your hand in marriage, and any of them would have been delighted to have you rule over them. But now you're nothing more than a bedwarmer of a man who doesn't want you and a broodmare who is no longer useful. You no longer have any identity of your own. What a waste.
She rarely thought of Eri, if at all.
Six months later, Ozai finally called her back to the palace. This time, she really, really tried to get her alcohol consumption under control. Sometimes she had a pretty good handle on it for weeks at a time, but then there'd be another banquet, and the temptation of everyone around her drinking would be too much for her to overcome. As usual, she was diligent about keeping up appearances even on bad days. A little extra face powder, having a constant supply of fresh mint available to chew, getting her robes taken in at the waist and padded in the chest to disguise the fact that she'd lost a large amount of weight in Shuhon…and no one would be the wiser. That was the hope, at least.
But things had changed. Despite her efforts, it was clear that the Fire Lord had no intention of restoring her to her place in his bed. Although people continued to be courteous to her, she could tell that it was more out of pity than out of deference. Father had more or less given up on her. Her relationship with her daughter was equally fraught; the girl appeared to see her as little more than a stranger. Not that Naoko could blame her, when she herself found it difficult to look her daughter in the eye after The Incident.
Eri did not have such problems in her interactions with her father. In fact, to Naoko's surprise, she was in even higher favor with the Fire Lord than she had been before. Ozai even occasionally showed up in the nursery to observe Eri's play. One time, Naoko happened to see this on one of her own rare visits. The image of the leader of the civilized world sitting on the floor amongst the child-sized furniture as Eri showed him her newest toys was not one that was easily forgotten. He had definitely never taken the time to visit Shiza's children like that. Most of the Fire Lord's illegitimate children were sent to the dormitory full-time after they turned three, but Eri had been granted special permission to continue to sleep in the palace. Only a select few of his children got to do that. And as far as Naoko knew, Eri was the only one of his illegitimate children who was allowed to address him as "Daddy" or "Father" instead of "Fire Lord."
On the morning of Eri's third birthday, Naoko went to the nursery, determined to be a proper mother at least for this special day. However, she was informed that the Fire Lord had already picked their daughter up and taken her with him to his office. Naoko forced a twinge of jealousy into the back of her head, and decided to head down to check on things.
On the way down, she encountered someone unexpected: Shiza. The woman looked like she'd just seen a particularly horrifying dark spirit.
"Naoko, you have to get your daughter out of here as quickly as possible," she said in urgent tones. All Naoko did was laugh.
"Nice try. But you can't fool me that easily," she said. As much of a dolt as Shiza may be, her older son Zoren was known to be smart and charismatic. He'd likely be able to worm his way into Ozai's affections if Eri were to suddenly leave.
Shiza scowled and stomped her tiny foot.
"Will you please listen just this once?!" she asked. "This is not about ranking, or influence, or favor, or anything like that. This is about your daughter's well-being, and maybe even her life."
She actually sounded partway intimidating. It was almost enough for Naoko to wonder if she truly was concerned for Eri.
Almost, but not quite.
"Do be a dear and get out of my way," she said, and then shoved on past her anyway.
She didn't want to admit it, but Shiza's words had planted a seed of doubt in her head. Ozai punished those who showed disrespect to him, as was his right. She knew Eri would never do that intentionally…but she was young. What if she had said something that could be misconstrued as insulting?
Her pace quickened as she approached the doors of the Fire Lord's office, only for them to swing open just as she got there. Ozai was holding Eri in his arms, and their daughter was relaxed and smiling as she babbled about whichever topics were running through her head at the moment. Shiza, as usual, had had no idea what she was talking about, and Naoko felt annoyed at herself for giving her words even the slightest heed.
"It looks like you two had a good time together!" she said.
"We burned it!" Eri informed her before bursting into giggles.
Ozai looked down on Eri fondly. He explained, "She did help me dispose of some unwanted correspondence, yes. I thought, since today was her birthday and she's becoming such a big girl, that she might want a glimpse of her Fire Lord at work."
He was actually looking at Naoko when he said this! It was a big step in the right direction.
"That was very generous of your father, Eri," she told the child as Ozai set her back on the ground. "What do we say to people who do nice things for us?" She hoped that Eri's nurses had already been working with her on this; otherwise she'd just look really stupid.
Luck proved to be on her side. Eri immediately said, "Thank you," and bowed without being bidden.
"You are welcome," Ozai replied. "Now I must go to my war meeting, and perhaps one day I will permit you to attend those as well."
As Naoko took Eri by the hand and led her away, the child piped up with, "Mama! Mama! I'm gonna be Fire Lady!"
Naoko smiled down at her daughter with rekindled affection, and replied, "That's the spirit." Obviously, Eri had either misunderstood something Ozai had said or was simply playing pretend. Naoko chose to let her child have her little fantasies for the time being.
Everything was looking up for them. Eri had accomplished what Naoko admittedly could not. Now all she had to do was be patient, wait for the right opportunity, and then pounce on it with all her might.
PRESENT
The instant that she heard the click of the door to her room being unsealed, Naoko slid it open and sprinted directly into Ozai's room. She froze in place and her heart leapt into her throat as she saw her lord and master crumpled against the back wall of the room, the floor in front of him ablaze. Zuko was nowhere to be found.
Was he…? No, he was moving and looking up at her now. Naoko quickly put out the fire and ran to him. She knelt before him, taking his face in her hands. He had a worryingly dazed look in his eyes, as if he didn't quite recognize her.
"My lord. My darling. My love," she babbled, "It's me…Naoko. Are you all right? I heard everything. What did that double-crossing piece of shit do to you?"
Ozai blinked, trying to shake off the mental fog.
"…Redirected my lightning," he muttered. "He wasn't supposed to know how to do that. No one is."
With much coaxing, she was able to get from him that he hadn't actually been struck by the lightning. However, the resulting shock wave had thrown him against the wall, injuring his lower back in the process. He was obviously in a great deal of pain. What sort of son would do that to his own father?!
"Where are your guards?" she asked.
"Chasing Zuko," Ozai said through gritted teeth. He tried to stand, but his legs gave way. Naoko reached out to break his fall.
"Dear, please, you're hurt. Let me help you!" Naoko pleaded. "Everything will be fine. There is no way that that traitor is going to escape with so many people after him. It's only a matter of time before he'll get the fate he deserves." And she would make up for her absence from the Agni Kai by being in the front row at the execution, cheering the loudest of everyone.
Ozai was finally able to get to his feet with Naoko's assistance. Together, they hobbled up the stairs and into the hallway, where the children were streaming out from their room. Eri was among them, clinging onto the hand of an older half-sister. Her face lit up when she saw her father.
"The Fire Lord is not feeling well," Naoko told her firmly. "Go on with…"–she paused to remember the girl's name–"Lanying."
A harried-looking Anshi blew a short blast on her whistle.
"Great job, everyone!" she said, pasting a smile on her face.
Ruanyu grumbled, "But we didn't even get to do anything!"
"Even so," Anshi insisted. She turned and bowed to Ozai. "Fire Lord, is it all right if I give them the rest of the day off?"
"Yes, go ahead," he said with a wave of his hand; Naoko thought it likely that he was still in shock and hadn't entirely comprehended what his eldest daughter had said.
"Did you hear that? No evening drills tonight!" Anshi told them. Some of the younger children cheered, but one glare from Anshi had them kneeling and murmuring their thanks as they ought to. They were just about to go their separate ways when…
"Where are Shiza and her children?" Ozai's voice had suddenly returned to its full power, without a hint of confusion. Naoko hadn't even noticed the absence of Lady Squeaky, but a quick headcount revealed that there were only four pairs of children, instead of the expected five.
Anshi quailed. "She…she said that you'd given her permission to have her children with her."
"And you were stupid enough to believe her? I did no such thing," Ozai growled. "Her sons were supposed to be with you, and her assigned room was over there." He pointed down the hallway. Ichiro ran over to open the door; to no one's surprise, the room proved to be empty.
"THAT BITCH!" Ozai raged, causing the torches in the corridor to flare up to alarming heights. Even Naoko was surprised at the intensity of his reaction. Then, as he attempted to stand to his full height, he let out a further shout of pain and fell against Naoko's side, nearly knocking her off-balance in the process. Izumi clapped her hands over her ears and made that awful groaning sound, and Zhilan's infant son started wailing, but the others knew to keep their mouths shut.
Naoko held him close to prevent any further sudden movements. She saw her long-awaited chance handed to her on a silver platter.
"Forget her and her pathetic children!" she hissed. "Right now, you have me, and I will never leave you. Let's go back up to the palace and get you some help for your back."
Ozai sighed, as if he wanted to argue but didn't have the strength for it.
"You will be punished later," he told Anshi.
"Of course she will," Naoko agreed. "Everyone who has wronged you today will. But you should have your own injuries tended to before you think about that."
She helped her Fire Lord limp onward to the elevator, whispering sweet nothings into his ear the entire way.
She was by Ozai's side almost the entire time as he was moved to his room and Dr. Huang assessed him, only stepping away for a few seconds to knock back a much-needed glass of sake. Thankfully, the doctor quickly determined that no permanent damage had been done, and prescribed a couple of days of rest, a support cushion, and a cane for walking. He also offered tincture of opium for the pain, but Ozai declined it.
Most unfortunately, the guards came back with the news that, although the invaders had been beaten back and many taken prisoner, Zuko had eluded them and Iroh had also escaped. Predictably, Ozai scolded them harshly for their incompetence, expletives flying like fireballs. He also threw some actual fireballs at them. Naoko placed a gentle hand on his chest to stop him from getting out of bed. Typically, she would have loved to watch Ozai tear those buffoons a new one, but today wasn't exactly a typical day. She had to think quickly to calm him down before he exacerbated his back again.
"Things will maybe take a bit longer than anticipated, but they will be found," she assured him. "Even these fools can manage that eventually. You should just focus on getting better so you can give those traitors the punishments they deserve when they're apprehended." She withdrew her hand, but not before running a finger down his perfectly toned muscles.
"Very well," he sighed. "Guards, you may leave. For now, you will only docked two months' pay each. I may consider reducing that to one month if you ensure that I am not disturbed by anyone tonight."
"Even the Princess Azula, Fire Lord?" the head guard asked.
"Especially the Princess Azula," Ozai answered.
The guards snuck looks at each other. They had not been among those in the bunker, and were obviously wondering what was going on. Nevertheless, fearing greater loss of wages or worse, they kept quiet, bowed, and backed out of the room. The doors were shut, and Naoko heard the guards drawing the bolt and chains. Now, it was just the two of them in the room.
"My poor dear," she cooed while brushing a few stray hairs out of Ozai's face. "The weight of the world is on your shoulders, isn't it?" She smirked as an idea occurred to her, and climbed on the bed, kneeling between his legs.
"I think I can help you feel better. Would you like that?" Her finger resumed tracing its path, going lower this time. She gave a little experimental squeeze when she reached her destination. Yes, it appeared that he would, in fact, like that.
Ozai snorted. "You truly are the most brazen slut I have ever known."
Naoko shrugged and said casually, "But I'm your brazen slut. You know that. Now..."–she reached for the fastenings of his trousers while making sure that the support cushion was securely in place–"You don't have to move a muscle. I'll take care of everything."
Her body ached to have him inside her after all those months of celibacy, but she knew that would be too much exertion for the Fire Lord's current state. Instead, she pleasured him with her hands and mouth. After he was finished, he made a little groan of contentment, and did appear to be in less pain. Shortly thereafter, as so often occurred, he nodded off. Naoko hoped that he would remember this later: how she had been there for him when no one else was. Doubtlessly, the Princess Azula would show up sooner or later to check on her father, and Naoko would be there to tell her what was what.
She hadn't lied to her Fire Lord, or attacked him, or fled. She would be loyal, even if she never did end up being Fire Lady.
Always.
No matter what.
For the rest of her life.