Well, Long time no see everyone! I truly apologize for the long hiatus. I got super busy at the end of December with my graduation, Christmas, My brother's birthday, New Years, and then my own birthday. I was trying to let the dust settle from all of that and ended up losing motivation. But I am back now and feeling better than ever about this story! I do plan to complete it so thank you for all who have been and will continue to bare with me as I get this story posted. Since it has been so long I am uploading a pretty hefty chapter. it's also pretty fluffy, which I feel like is well deserved now. Things will get pretty real after this chapter and the next so I think a nice break from the real world of the story will make for a great treat and make getting back into the story a little easier.

As I've said before, I appreciate all who have followed and reviewed this story, especially since it has been so inactive lately. The feedback does so much for my motivation for these stories and I would love to hear from more of you as I continue. I also love hearing my reader's theories and suggestions for stories I am writing so never be afraid to hit me with an idea if one comes to you while I am posting!

Enjoy the chapter! Of course I do not own The Vampire Diaries or any of the characters.

Four Years Ago

It had been a month since the incident with the witch, and the killing had caused a falling out in the house. Damon and I have been cordial but distant, mostly due to me. He hadn't done anything in particular to make anything worse, in fact he had been very kind since the day on the stairs. I was trying desperately to cling to my conviction that he needed to work for my trust again, but if I was being honest with myself, I wasn't doing a great job. In all honesty, I missed him. Stefan tried to remain objective in the matter, but I could see that he wanted his brother and me to be back on good terms almost as badly as Damon did. I appreciated Stefan's effort to be supportive of me anyway. That night may have disrupted the dynamic the three of us had but there was something to be said for the progress it caused as well.

The research it brought on had given us new momentum and a wonderful distraction. The witch had been carrying a grimoire and a journal that belonged to the witch's bloodline, both of which had included information regarding the sun curse and the bloodline that it was bound with, my bloodline. Damon had spent days reading the journal, pouring over every detail with a focus I hadn't known he possessed. He never discussed with me the things he was finding out in the journal, and because of my stubbornness, I couldn't push him to tell me. But the attention he was giving the journal was making me wildly curious, and not knowing was driving me insane. I couldn't contain it one night with Stefan.

"He's doing it on purpose, Stefan!" I exclaimed one night in Stefan's room. Stefan was curled up in bed. The white tank top he was wearing exposed his arms so I could see the rose tattoo he had on his bicep. I glared at it pointedly as I tapped my foot impatiently at the thought of Damon baiting me intentionally.

"Elena, you need to settle down," Stefan sighed.

"There can't be anything all that helpful in that book or he would tell us. He's trying to make it seem like more than what it is so I'll be forced to ask him about it. Well, I'm not playing his game. I don't need to know what the journal says. I'll wait until he's done and read it myself." I ranted.

"Or," Stefan said, straightening himself up in bed. "you could come lay down and ask me what it says, since Damon has told me."

"What?" I demanded. Stefan tried to hold back a chuckle, but failed. I stomped over to my side of his bed and sat down rigidly. Stefan sighed and leaned up, wrapping his arms around me. He pulled me down and with inhuman speed and strength adjusted my body so I was laying down facing him. I glared at him when he was done but he ignored my expression and settled down next to me.

"I don't know why you don't just give up this stubborn stance you've taken. You miss him and you know it," Stefan murmured. My glare deepened. "He's miserable without you too, you know." I rolled my eyes in response and pushed him gently.

"Just tell me about the journal," I urged. Stefan sighed and suddenly his teasing demeanor got a bit heavier and his eyes unfocused, like he was seeing something far away.

"The journal talks about another way to break the curse, one that doesn't require the death of the Gilbert descendant," he said. I blanched and went to sit up excitedly in bed, but his hand reached out and stopped me quickly. I settled back into my spot as I realized he was not nearly as happy about this news as he should be. I scrutinized him.

"Isn't that a good thing?" I asked. Stefan pursed his lips.

"If it is even possible, it could be incredibly dangerous. If done wrong it could have the opposite effect and free the wolves from the full moon instead. Granting them the choice to turn at will whenever they wanted. It could spell disaster for all Vampires, but especially us. It's all just speculation, it doesn't sound like the witch who wrote it was even sure about the possibility of this option, but there is a descendant from the same bloodline of witches in New Orleans. Damon plans to leave soon to track it down and see if there is anything more he can learn." I stayed quiet as he finished, trying to digest all the information he was telling me. There was quite possibly a way to save me, but it may cost many lives, if it even worked. Not to mention what Joseph himself would do if they tried this and it went wrong. Could I risk putting them in danger for this chance? Would I? Then it occurred to me what Stefan said at the end.

"Damon's leaving?" I asked. Stefan gave me a knowing look. I tried my best to keep my expression blank. He nodded.

"Wait, won't it raise suspicion if witches start talking about Joseph's son asking around about sparing the Gilbert Descendant?" I asked. Stefan sighed, louder this time.

"That's what I said, but he told me I should have more faith in him. I was afraid to even ask what that meant," he said. I did sit up this time.

"So you're just going to sit back and let him leave, even if it could end up getting him hurt? Getting him killed?" I demanded. Stefan just watched me with a smirk. I glared, waiting for him to have an appropriate response.

"I wasn't aware that you cared so much," he teased. I scoffed and climbed out of his bed.

"Where are you going?" he asked exasperatedly. I didn't answer, just left the room, pulling the door shut behind me. I stomped my way down the hall to Damon's room. I pounded on his door angrily for a solid fifteen seconds before it flung open so quickly that I couldn't stop my fist from pounding on to his chest when he appeared in the doorway. He scrutinized the spot on his chest that I hit and then turned his inquisitive gaze onto mine. I jumped slightly and pulled my fist back quickly.

"Sorry," I said quickly and breathlessly. He gave me a tight lipped smile but otherwise didn't say anything.

"I, um," I stammered, not really sure what I was going to say. All of my anger dissipated the minute I'd touched him. We had hardly said a word to each other in the last couple weeks. His eyebrows raised slightly at my confusion.

"I think you were coming to yell at me about leaving," he offered with a straight face. My mouth fell agape.

"Stop listening to my conversations!" I yelled. He raised his hands in exasperation.

"I wasn't trying to," he said. "But about me leaving, Elena," he started.

"Yes!" I interrupted. "You can't go around asking about loopholes that could save my life, it'll raise suspicions and put us all at risk!" I scolded.

"Especially me?" he asked under his breath.

"Especially you!" I yelled. He smiled more genuinely.

"Aw, didn't know you cared," he cooed. I scoffed again, as I had when Stefan had said it.

"Stop doing that Damon, I am serious," I said. He shook his head and laughed at himself, but sobered up quickly when my fists balled up at my sides.

"I thought you were avoiding me? Couldn't excuse my cruel behavior? Didn't care about me?" Damon said.

"I never said I didn't care about you," I countered.

"No?" he asked.

"Is that what this is all about? Did you stage all of this to get me to talk to you? So I would admit that I care about you? You want to hear me say it? Fine!" I yelled. "I care about you! I don't want you to get hurt. I don't want you to risk yourself for me." I finished breathlessly. He smirked again. I was seeing red. My anger climbed higher at him than it ever had.

"How dare you give me any hope at all to fulfill some petty need to be right and obtain some sick satisfaction at my expense," I hissed at him. His smirk fell away and his brow furrowed.

"Elena, I didn-" he started.

"How dare you?" I asked again with tears in my eyes. Then I walked away, but instead of going back to Stefan's room I marched into mine and slammed the door loud enough that had Stefan been human he would have still heard the noise all the way up in his room.

Much to my chagrin, Damon left two days after that and was gone for about a week. I tried to talk him out of it, insisting that he'd taken this little spat between us too far this time, but he seemed disinterested in engaging with me. It took him forever to actually leave, worrying incessantly about Stefan as well as about Stefan's ability to protect me. After insistence from Stefan that he would be fine and was perfectly capable of protecting me himself, Damon left without even so much as a goodbye to me.

"I thought he had just wanted me to talk to him again," I said with a defeated tone when Stefan returned to the library when Damon was officially gone. Stefan squeezed my shoulders supportively but shook his head no.

"It was real. We have no choice but to trust him now," he said. I wanted to be angry with Stefan about his naivety and his misguided trust in his older brother. I wanted to be angry with Damon for being so irresponsible when he was clearly the more responsible one here. But ultimately I was just angry with myself for seeing the worst in Damon again, when again, he was only trying to find some way to save me, no matter what the cost. I sighed sadly.

Even though I haven't felt the best about Damon, I found that with him away, I was less content with my safety and comfort within our home. And the anxiety I felt about whether or not he was okay was harder on me than anything. Several times over the week I wanted to call him, just to hear his voice, just to know he wasn't being harmed, but Stefan insisted that would only make things worse. He reassured me that Damon had been in contact with him through the whole trip and that everything was fine, but still I was discontented. Much to my great relief Damon did return at the end of the week, but to our ultimate dismay, he hadn't learned anything encouraging. Turns out the lead was nothing but a dead end. Sparing the life of the Gilbert descendant would do what Stefan had mentioned, free the wolves, and I was not willing to put them and their kind at risk to save my life. It wasn't worth it to me.

"You're ridiculous," Damon said in response to my refusal. The first thing he had said directly to me since his return hours prior. I turned my eyes on him and just stared.

"I'm ridiculous?" I asked incredulously.

"Guys, this isn't helping!" Stefan blew up. We both looked at him in surprise. He rubbed his forehead with his hand, his shoulder slumped.

"I agree with Elena, it's too risky, it won't work. Even if Joseph didn't kill us for our betrayal, the wolves surely would." Damon shook his head and pushed away from the table we all had been sitting around. He plucked the journal off of the table and walked over to the window seat where he fell unceremoniously and began reading again.

"I know you've already read that thing cover to cover, what could you possibly be looking for?" I asked. Damon ignored me.

"Stefan, he isn't helping us," I started. Stefan put his hand up to silence me.

"Neither of you are helping us. Whatever is going on between you two needs to stop because this is already a hard enough situation without the three of us being divided. Please figure it the hell out." I opened my mouth to argue my side when Stefan's phone rang. He pulled the device from his pocket and scrutinized the name for a moment before picking up.

"Caroline?" he said into the receiver. The tension in his body seemed to disappear and a smile danced on his lips.

"Yeah, hold on one sec," he said into the phone. Then to me and Damon he said, "fix it, both of you. You're acting like children." He turned his back on us and walked from the room. He asked the phone "Who do you think?" with a small laugh and then he disappeared from view. I watched after him with my mouth slightly open. I made an exasperated noise. DId Stefan just call Damon and me children?

"Who's Caroline?" I asked Damon angrily.

"Why? Are you jealous?" Damon asked dryly. I rolled my eyes and plopped onto the window seat next to him.

He gave me a side eyed look that told me he wasn't pleased with how close I was to him. I ignored it.

"Of course not," I said. "Just curious. He always seems so happy when she calls, but he doesn't talk about her, and she never comes here." Damon lowered his reading material and assessed me carefully as I spoke. His lips smoothed into a straight line as he pondered what I said. Finally he sighed and turned to gaze out the window.

"He loves her," he said simply. I watched his profile, waiting for more but Damon just stared quietly, the cloudy daylight turning his blue orbs white.

"And?" I urged.

"And so he can't be with her," he continued with the same dry attitude. My eyebrows furrowed and I questioned Damon further with my expression. Damon sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose with his finger and thumb.

"You have to understand Elena, our lives have not always been this quiet. It's never been safe to be cared for by either one of us. It automatically made that person a point of weakness, a means by which we could be controlled. The moment I realized Stefan loved her I urged him to let her go, to get her as far away from us and our father as possible. And Stefan is a good brother, so he listened, much to Caroline's dismay. They both understood though, it wasn't worth dying over. And now that you're here and our father is not, Stefan gets to talk to her again, but still she can't come here." He finished his story and sighed as if the retelling of these events had physically exhausted him. My heart hurt for Stefan, and for the girl I'd never meet. To not be able to be with the one you loved seemed a fate almost worse than death. It certainly was for my parents. But I didn't understand the need for separation now.

"Why can't she come here?"

"No one can know who you are, or where, Elena. Not even our most trusted allies. They could be used to get information on you, tortured for it." Finally his eyes found mine finally and they were softer than I thought they were going to be, the worry was clear in his stare.

"You care about her too?" I deduced. Damon's answering smile was faint but tender.

"I have a soft spot for the girl, yes," he murmured. "But that's none of her business." I grimaced.

"Yeah, god forbid anyone knows you actually care," I murmured, suddenly remembering why my mood had been so sour towards Damon.

"You're being ridiculous," was all he said in response and went back to reading the journal. I ripped it out of his hands and tossed it back to the table. He looked at me with big surprised eyes, his hands still open in front of him as if the book was still there.

"You sound like a broken record," I accused.

"Want me to sing a different tune, stop being so ridiculous," he said, crossing his arms over his chest.

"I'm being ridiculous? You went on a fool's errand that could have endangered all of us. That could have gotten you tortured or killed," I spat at him. He watched me patiently, no real emotion in his expression.

"And you didn't even say goodbye, you just left. I had no idea if you were safe, or if you would come back. And if you make one comment about not knowing that I cared I swear to god I will stake you right now," I scolded. This drew a surprised chuckle from his lips but his expression remained serious. I sighed, suddenly exhausted by the back and forth with Damon. I had spent all week being worried about him and now that he was here in front of me, all we could do was fight. It honestly felt awful, and I was losing conviction for it. I turned my back on him and put my face in my hands, rubbing my temples. Suddenly his cool hand was on my shoulder, turning me back around.

"Lena," he urged, pulling at my hands. I let him pull them away and looked up into his eyes to find them clear and concerned as they had been only a few times before.

"I'm fine," I told him. He released my wrists and tucked my hair behind one ear.

"I'm sorry I left without saying goodbye. I was hurt by what you said, that you would think I would do something like tease you with hope, just to settle a petty dispute between us. Hurting you back should never be the answer though. I am sorry, truly." I searched his face for his usual sarcasm or gloating, but found none. He was just being Damon right now, the Damon he saved only for me. I gave him a sad smile.

"Thank you," I said. "I'm sorry too. I was afraid and foolishly embarrassed because I was scared for you. My pride kept me from hearing you out and I was wrong, again." Damon's answering smile relaxed me in a way I was afraid to admit.

"Hey, it's okay," he comforted. "We can't all be geniuses like me," he teased. I smacked his chest playfully.

"Shut up," I groaned. He pulled me in then for an uncharacteristic hug. I wrapped my arms around his torso and he held me tightly against him.

"If it's any consolation, I spent every minute I was away being consumed with worry about you too," he murmured into my hair. I pulled away to smile at him.

"That helps," I said.

"Just don't tell Stef," he said. "I have a reputation to uphold."

"I'm not sure that reputation is holding Damon," I told him fondly as I stepped out of his embrace. His startled expression caught me off guard as he looked at me. He seemed to be looking for something, his brow turned down in confusion.

"What?" I asked. He shook his head and intentionally fixed his expression to be unreadable.

"Does that mean you don't hate me anymore?" He teased. I let the smile fall from my face into a theatrical glare.

"Nope. Definitely still hate you," I said flatly. It was his turn to chuckle. I turned to walk out of the library with the sound of his laughter following behind me.

"Elena," he managed to call out to chastise me before I left the room. I stopped without looking at him. I pulled the french doors open and bit my lip to stop the smile from sliding onto my face.

"I'm glad you're back Damon," I murmured without turning around. "I didn't like not having you here."

"I won't leave again," he whispered, suddenly just behind me, his lips just on the outside of the curtain of my hair. I jumped at the sudden proximity and spun around only to come face to face with him. His smirk was ornery. When I could compose myself I glared more authentically.

"You're an ass," I grumbled. I turned away from him to stomp down the hallway, but he stayed in step with me.

"You missed me," he teased. The lightness in his voice broke my resolve and I laughed. At the stairs I stopped to face him again with an easy smile.

"Yeah, I guess I did," I admitted. "Doesn't mean I don't hate you." I amended. He nodded with an unbelieving smile.

"I know," he said. He let me walk up the stairs alone then, but I could feel his eyes on me as I went.

Today

"You could have just warmed me up some spaghetti," I said entering the kitchen with wet hair and fresh clothes. The smell of pancakes and bacon filled the room. Damon just smiled. He stood in his black V-neck shirt with a dish towel thrown over his shoulder. A spot of flour was visible on his left cheek. I couldn't help the tender laugh that escaped my lips at the sight. He looked down right domestic. Damon's eyes narrowed but he otherwise ignored it.

"It's definitely closer to breakfast time than dinner time, so I thought you should have a proper breakfast," he said. I furrowed my brow and looked to the clock on the kitchen wall.

"It's 4:00AM?" I asked, shocked. "Where's Stefan?"

"He stepped out after dinner, was being kind of cryptic about why, but hey, i'm not his dad," he said with a shrug. My expression immediately darkened.

"Aren't you a bit concerned about that though? It's not exactly safe to just be strolling around right now. If your father is ready to do the sacrifice that means someone's betrayed him right? That the witches or wolves have grown desperate? If they find him they could hurt him." I started to panic.

"Elena," Damon interrupted. I looked at him with accusing eyes. "He went to visit Caroline, okay? He's a big boy and knows how to take care of himself. He's fine." He reassured me.

"Caroline?" I asked. Damon nodded as he flipped a pancake. I couldn't help but to smile then. "I'm glad he's getting to see her. At least something good is coming from all of this," I said with a broad sweep of my arm. Damon avoided my eyes pointedly and flipped the pancake again. Which brought my attention back to the domestic look Damon was sporting currently. I walked around the island to his side of the stove. Reaching for the spatula in his hand, I pushed him from in front of the pan. I carefully used the utensil to remove the pancake from the skillet and placed it on the stack of perfectly golden pancakes beside the stovetop. Then I set the spatula down and turned Damon to face me.

"I was cooking for you, what are you doing?" he asked. I laughed when I spotted the flour on his face again. I reached up carefully and wiped it away with my fingers. He unbelievably looked shy as I did it. This only made me smile wider.

"I'll let you finish I promise. I just couldn't take you seriously with that flour on your face," I teased with a laugh. Damon nodded seriously.

"Oh, okay," he said. Then with lightning quick speed he turned and reached for the bag of flour behind him, covering his fingers in the white powder and then gently dragging them across my cheek. I gasped and he smirked.

"Can you take me seriously now?" he asked. I wiped my hand across my cheek and came away with the soft white powder on the back of my hand. I giggled.

"Oh you shouldn't have done that," I said. Then I darted around him and grabbed a fistfull of flour which I deposited quickly into his dark hair. His mouth fell open.

"Are you serious? How old are we?" He asked with laughter in his voice. I pursed my lips to keep from laughing at the speckled appearance of his hair. I held up my hand with all five fingers extended.

"This many," I pushed through my clenched teeth.

"Ah," he murmured. "Mhm, you're absolutely right." he said and then too quickly for my eyes to see he had his own handful of flour and it was falling lightly into my hair. And then the war was on. Fits of laughter escaped both of our chests as we flung fistful after fistful of flour through the kitchen, the breakfast long forgotten. Eventually Damon grabbed the bag and dumped the remaining flour onto me, covering my hair and face with white powder so thoroughly, I was unrecognizable. He doubled over with laughter as I stood frozen in my defeat. His black shirt was spotted, and his black hair resembled Stefan's now it was lightened so much by the white powder. When he stood back up and took in another eyeful of me, he leaned over on his knees again, his laughter rendering him motionless. I nodded and giggled along with him. I began to inch forward slowly and quietly as he continued to laugh. When he straightened up again I was right in front of him and I threw my arms around his torso, plastering my body against his. He jumped and threw his arms into the air as he tried to back away from me but I held on tight. I started to rub my face and head all over his black shirt, effectively transferring the white powder from me to him. Damon groaned and hollered as he continued to try and get away but it was no use. When my face was all cleaned off onto his shirt I looked up at him, laughing openly. His arms had dropped and were resting lightly on my hips. Watching him laugh and try to wipe my face free of the flour that still remained I was taken aback by the innocence in his face in the moment. I had always thought of Stefan as childlike, as innocent and small and naive. But in this moment, Damon appeared just as childlike, free from the pressure of his world, and happy, truly happy. I didn't think I had ever seen him like that before. His hands wiped the sides of my face and then came to rest there, cupping my face as he looked into my eyes. We were both sobered now, but smiles still played on the corners of our mouths.

"What?" he asked after a minute of my scrutinization.

"I…" I started and then thought better of it. "Nothing," I said. He used his hands to direct my eyes back to his.

"What is it?" he asked quietly.

"I would have liked to have more time like this, with you," I said hesitantly. Like I knew it would, my comment sobered him completely, and Damon sighed, losing the remaining smile that had tugged at his lips.

"I'm sorry it's always been so complicated, that I wasn't ever able to give you what Stefan could," he murmured. I shook my head.

"I never wanted you to be like Stefan, Damon," I told him. "I wanted…" I trailed off, thinking of the way he pulled away from my kiss the night before. He rested his flour covered forehead on mine and looked into my eyes.

"Me too," he said. My eyes shot up to look into his.

"You did?" I asked. He just nodded and kissed my forehead.

"When is Stefan coming back?" I asked. Damon pulled away from me.

"Tomorrow morning I think. Caroline wasn't exactly nearby," he said. I nodded.

"Can I ask you for something then? Something that may be an awful idea and might hurt you?" I asked hesitantly.

"You can ask, but I make no promises," he said skeptically. My arms were still around his torso, so even though his hands weren't on my face anymore, our faces were still close together.

"One day," I whispered. His head fell slightly to one side and he looked at me in confusion. "Give me one day to just be with you, the way we could be if our lives were different. It's all I want," I pleaded. His eyes widened and filled with emotion as he looked at me.