Chapter 11: Kiri Academy is Baby College

The reason I have not updated in a while is because my college finals have been kicking my ass, and if you could not tell from this chapter I am basing Kiri academy off my own college to a degree. Partly because it is what I know best and partly to vent. Thanks for reading.

'Thinking'

"Talking"

I do not own Naruto, obviously.

It has been a year so far since I have entered the academy and that means the next school year is about to start. I am currently four since my birthday is on January 1st (why the fuck do we share month names, most of them are Roman based!?). That isn't actually my real birthday you see those at the orphanage don't give a shit about birthdays, they simply bump your age up by one once the new year passes.

'I wonder if they even know my real birthday, I'm going to have to see if I have a birth certificate later or if I was just dropped at the doorstep.'

That being said I spent most of my time this year learning how to read and it was a lot easier than I thought it would be, mostly due to me still being a malleable child. Even still, it was horribly time consuming.

After my first day of class was over I found out that to my surprise we have a few hours of free time after classes. I was even more surprised to find out that we have a day off on Sunday (Regular day names as well as months! What is this even?) that we can use to wander Kirigakure proper or just do whatever. I was totally sure the academy was not the kind place to have days off, but I was pleasantly surprised.

I used this time to wisely pester Yagura for extra reading lessons. I say pester but what I really mean is asking him for help and him replying "yes" in his classic Yagura face. I've pretty much forgiven him for the whole attempted murder thing because he has helped me with my reading on literally every weekend without complaint. Honestly he's a major pushover, I think he would kill someone if I asked him to and his expression would not change at all, in short, he is a natural Kiri shinobi.

It was a long and arduous process but now I can finally go to the library and start amassing knowledge. But first I have to ace this test.

Kirigakure Academy is divided into ten grades, and to graduate into the next grade, one has to pass the Grade Test, real creative name, I know.

The Grade Test is divided into the information and practical portion. The information portion is going to be a cinch for me. Not just grade 1, but even if I was given the grade 5 test I'm sure I would pass it with flying colors.

'Thank you Matron-san' I thought as I circled my final answer and turned the test in.

She really taught me much more than I thought she did. Then again, if I was a normal three year old I would have probably only been able to absorb a quarter of the information she taught, so good job me.

As for the practical portion, I can safely say that I am the best kenjutsu user in my class, and while my win streak was a little shaky in the beginning, it is now perfect. Yagura immediately skipped a few grades so he technically isn't in my class. I'm pretty sure he's in like grade 6 now, which is...wow. Kenjutsu class is much harder to graduate in than any other class due to it being the class Kiri cares about the most so him already being over halfway through it all in his first year; I'm not jealous, I swear!

By virtue of being the first to turn my test in, I did not have to wait for others to finish their practical test and simply walked in the next room.

Inside I was met with Akebino-sensei standing on the other side of a rectangular, sandy arena, two swords in hand.

"Figured you would be the first kid. I don't need to explain the rules right?"

"The real ones or the fake ones?" I replied.

"Ha!. Why not tell me both, you seem like the only kid here who would realize them beforehand."

"The fake rules are to knock you out of the arena or defeat you in combat. The real ones are to get you to move more than your sword arm or just impress you right?"

"Tch spot on kid." He smirked as he threw the sword from his right hand at me.

Smiling, I caught it in my left. Yes I'm left handed, I'm just special like that. Unlike sensei that is, who was keeping his other sword in his non-dominant hand.

"Not using your right hand sensei? Well more advantages for me then." I charged.

"Kid, fighting my dominant hand is grade two." He said as he effortlessly parried my blow.

I quickly followed up with several stabs which he all blocked with the flat of his blade before knocking me back...and are his eyes closed!?

Rolling back, I dashed behind him and came down with a one-handed overhead strike that he once more effortlessly blocked without even turning to face me. My sword rebounding, I was "forced" to roll back. A little jittery from adrenaline at the risky maneuver I just pulled, I contemplated my plan of attack. 'I now have two secret weapons I can use but I have to wait for the perfect opportunity...'

Jinin was in his first fight of the day and he was getting bored. The kid he was fighting had spunk at the beginning but now he was just circling him, occasionally jumping in to deliver one handed strikes. It was boring. He craved high stakes fights but was personally assigned to the academy by Mizukage-sama himself.

Jinin was well aware that this was a test, Kiri shinobi are trained to be emotionless, bloodthirsty individuals, not teachers. That is why it was an open secret among Kiri ninja that the academy teachers were assigned by the Mizukage as tests for certain divisions. If he were to go and complain it was guaranteed that he would be struck down as a potential swordsman candidate immediately and that would not do. It has always been his dream to become a Ninja Swordsmen of the Mist and if the price to become one is a few years of boredom then so be it. But does it really have to be soooo boring, he could barely keep his eyes open, so he didn't.

Letting out a yawn, he deliberately showed a weak point.

'Let's get this over with' He thought as he waited for the kid's strike, but it never came.

'Muggy mists kid!. Not capitalizing on a weak point that obvious, what a rooky mis-*swish* 'Oh! Spoke too soon' In mild surprise he opened his eyes to see a shuriken headed straight for his knee.

'He knew that I was bored and deliberately showing a weak point so he waited till I was finished and attacked while I was exasperated with his inability. That by itself is enough to warrant graduation not to mention bringing an extra weapon.'

'I could stop this now... but I want to see where this is going, it's finally getting interesting.' Akebino smiled slightly.

Dashing forward sword in hand, the kid aimed for his own sword that had blocked the thrown shuriken, locking it in place at his knee. The other hand was curled into a fist that made its way straight to his nose... 'Nice kid, that won't do damage at all with no chakra enhancement but points for eff-'...and then the fist opened to reveal it was full of sand.

'OH HELL NO!'

He didn't even have to think before he swatted the sand and by extension the boy away with his other arm, he was not going to get pelted in sand. It's coarse, and rough, and irritating. And it gets everywhere. He always hated sand which is a very undesirable trait to have when you live and work on what amounts to a large cluster of sandy islands. Not to say that he can't fight through it, just that he will do what he can to avoid it whenever he can like in this scenario. No way is he fighting a hundred other kids for the next several hours with sand around his eyes and in his shirt.

A thought that came up in his mind caused him to look around the battlefield before finally spotting what he was looking for.

'It seems like the kid didn't come in with a pocket full of sand, when I knocked him back earlier and he rolled away he grabbed a handful off the ground. Impressive.'

"You pass kid." Akebino sensei opened his mouth to say as soon as I dragged myself off the ground from his backhand.

'That thing fucking hurt.'

Despite what I could feel was a red mark angrily appearing on my cheek, I grinned widely.

'I passed!'

"You exceeded my expectations, I knew from your performance in class that you were talented with the sword but your use of multi staged tactics and deceit completely overshadowed that.

"Congratulations, you, Shimizu Satoshi, are now grade three in kenjutsu."

'Wait?' "What?"

"Don't act too surprised kid, in fact, I would make you grade four right now if your stance were a bit better. Grades two and three have a heavy focus on battle tactics, creative thinking, and misdirection in battle, all of which you have shown here in spades. It is only your skill that is holding you back from grade four, not your smarts, even though your technique is quite close anyway, and with your learning speed you should be able to reach it in about two to three months"

Blushing at the praise I bowed, "Thank you for your confidence Akebino-sensei."

"Tch" He tch-ed in reply.

"Go on, I can hear I got another boring challenger standing at the door."

I nodded and tossed him the practice sword as I ran to pick up my thrown kunai before bursting out the door with a spring in my step. So engrossed I was in my happiness that I almost bumped into a person turning the corner in one of the hallways to my room.

'I suppose it is true that enemies meet on a narrow path'' My eyes narrowing much like this path I walk as I came face to face with the horned kid from my first day and his equally narrowed eyes.

"You passed your test already? That was fast." The kid, who I am now going to refer to as Horns since "the horned kid" is way too long, remarked as he smirked and started to unleash a menacing aura.

"Of course, the information portion could not have been easier and I'm top of my class in kenjutsu." I bragged as my body tensed in preparation.

I was obviously better at fighting than I was before but I still know that beating the now eight year old is nothing more than a pipe dream. And there was no Yagura this time to save me, so I will just have to draw up my courage and… escape!

'Nigerundayoooo!' I inwardly screamed as I used the Joestar Secret Technique.

Taking full advantage of my smaller size, I sidestepped him at lightning speeds and dashed down the hall. I could feel Horns initial shock at my actions quickly morph into rage as the sound of him running after me graced my ears.

Too bad for him though, I have a lot of experience running while I bet he is the type to focus on the upper body. Too bad for me though, his legs are longer and I would bet he has greater stamina than me as well.

Trying to formulate a plan of action to get me out of this doomed situation, I actually did run into the next person who turned the corner. At least, I assume it was a person and not a brick wall like it felt when I made contact with it/them.

Shaking the stars out of my eyes I looked up to see. Young M...e..i.?

Rubbing my eyes to see if this was a concussion hallucination I was still greeted with the baby face of the young Fifth Mizukage peering down at me curiously.

'Once again I repeat, where the fuck am I in the timeline?'

Stomping in behind me, Horns grabbed me by the back of my shirt and ripped me up to my feet then spun me around and grasped my front collar all before I could even utter an eep.

Seeing the closed fist drawn back and about to be rocketed to my face I raised my arms to protect myself. But before the knuckle sandwich could be launched from the starting platform the unexpected obstacle now spectator went and said..

"Hey handsome, want to go on a date?"

"What", I involuntarily uttered as both me and Horns froze in our movements.

"No, not you. You're way too young for me and baby faces aren't my type." Mei said with a voice positively dripping in disdain.

'That's not what I meant but did you really have to reply like that!?' I mentally exclaimed in anguish from my wounded pride.

"I was talking to you tall, horned, and handsome-san."

Horns still had me gripped by the front of my shirt, which, while a prime place to get my face smashed in, also doubled as a front row seat for me to see his jaw drop and his face turn scarlet. He then started to absentmindedly run his once balled up hand along his far right horn as he stood there in shocked silence.

That was of course the moment that two more people walked onto the scene

"Oh fancy meeting you here slut, trying to rope in yet another one?" A distinctly female voice said; tone full of fake cheer that did not hide the vitriol contained within at all.

'Why are there so many people showing up in this hallway?' I thought as my head whipped to the side to see two more kids who looked about Mei's age join in.

The one who just spoke was a girl with red hair a few shades duller than Mei's, narrow eyes, and shark teeth I have since discovered are possessed by roughly half of Kiri other one who walked up was a young boy who, once again, looked the same age as Mei and in possession of pointy shark teeth. Unlike the girl he was very tall for his age and possessed no eyebrows though he did have hair on his head. It was grey, short, and spiky. His most notable feature was that his neck and ears were wrapped in bandages.

'Okay I might not remember who these two are but they have appeared in Naruto, for sure.' I came to the conclusion after a single glance at their memorable character designs.

Hey don't talk to Mei-chan like that Ameyuri, and you," He said, giving a death glare to Horns. "what do you think you're doing seducing Mei-chan."

"How many times do I have to tell you to stop calling me that Juzo-san, you're too young for me." Mei sighed out at the same time the girl now named Ameyuri said "What not even a san for me Bozo."

Hearing Mei's reply (and subsequently ignoring Ameyuri's) Juzo's face took on a wounded expression and he exclaimed "My birthday is a week after yours Mei-chan!"

"As I said, too young." Mei calmly proclaimed with a serene smile on her face.

Juzo's expression became even more hurt before it quickly morphed into a much calmer, and more dangerous one. Turning to face Horns, and by extension me who was still trapped in his grip as we watched this three man comedy act; it was pretty obvious what he wanted to do.

Take out his anger at his crush's rejection on the nearest bystanders, which just so happened to be us.

The sheer killing intent he was releasing surpassed that of the average Kiri Academy student by quite a sizable amount so it was obvious that he was very strong. This new threat completely drained away Horns' focus on me and realizing this was my opportunity, I sent a surprise kick straight at his stomach while using my hands to take off my shirt. My plan worked out perfectly and I managed to escape. I, of course, hit the ground running in the opposite direction of the four powerful shinobi in training and yelled out for good measure.

"I feel your pain man, Mei-san only had eyes for the other guy and didn't give me a chance at all since I'm only four!"

I don't know what happened after that because I booked it out of there and didn't look back. Horns either didn't follow me or didn't catch up. All I know is that by the time I sprinted around a few corners the last thing I heard about that situation was the sound of Ameyuri laughing her ass off.

Sooo, I may just have a teensy tiny eenie miney Big Fucking Problem on my hands.

It all started a day after I encountered Horns. It would have started on that day but I decided to stay in my room and let the heat die down.

Anyway, now that I had graduated to grade three in my practical classes I decided I should do the same for my informational, so that meant a trip to the library to check the information that was going to appear on the grade test.

The library of Kirigakure Academy paled in comparison to the ones in my past life but to me it was the most beautiful place in the school. Tons and tons (well more like pounds and pounds) of books just waiting for me to harvest their information; in a world where information is a form of currency, this library would significantly increase my bank account.

First things first, the encounter with young Mei yesterday reaffirmed me in my understanding that I needed to find out where I was in the timeline, so I picked up a book on the brief history of the shinobi world, skimmed through it, and looked for the second edition to continue where it left off.

There was no second edition; I practically turned the library upside down, inside out, and sideways, and there was. no. second. edition. That was a big problem see, because that book happened to stop at the aftermath of the Second Shinobi World War. Which means the third one hasn't happened yet.

Fuck Kiri, fuck Kaguya, fuck graduation, this is a war we're talking about. Not that sham of a Fourth Shinobi War, a real war. You know when I said I would surpass all challenges thrown at me that wasn't an invitation.

Luckily I have had two years (and a background in the American education system) to train my compartmentalization skills into a finely honed storage emporium, so after a brief bout of muffled screaming that would have gotten me kicked from the library should it have come out, I shoved all unnecessary thoughts from my mind and got to studying. I don't know if it will help, I don't know if it would save me, but what I do now is that I have to try. There is a war coming and I was going to be as ready for it as I could possibly be.