Present.
Bonnie stopped seeing Sarah's face and closed her eyes, took another deep breath. One last memory escaped making her smile.
"Really? Won't you kiss me?"
Bonnie crossed her arms, she thought he would kiss her, but at the last moment Damon stopped and just kissed her forehead.
"No..."
"Why not?"
She wasn't upset and it wasn't like she wanted it, ok, yes... she did want it, but she was just surprised and a little confused, she really thought Damon would actually kiss her.
Damon smirked. "Because aren't you ready."
Bonnie blushed. "Be ready for what? For a kiss?" she raised one of her eyebrows.
Damon walked over to her and whispered to her.
"No... when I kiss you... you will completely fall in love with me and you're not ready for that yet, but when you are... I'll kiss you, I assure you."
Bonnie's cheeks flushed again, but this time she couldn't help laughing and neither could Damon.
"You like being a cocky jerk. Right?" she pushed him away and Damon grabbed her hand in his.
He became serious this time and looked at her with concern.
"I'm sorry I didn't keep the promise I made to you... I let someone hurt you, again..."
Bonnie looked down. "It's Okay," she lifted her face and hid her pain in another smile.
"Don't worry about it, this is nothing, I'm used to it."
Damon brushed her unruly lock back behind her ear.
"Well, you shouldn't be used to it... that's not right, Bonnie."
That last memory made her smile sadly. Damon always cared about her.
a small sigh that expressed all her weariness.
It was useless trying to change something that could not be changed... now, she agreed with Maggie,
Some things change, but others don't, Honey.
And yes... apparently, as much as she tried... her feelings never changed...
Bonnie opened her eyes and looked out the bus window, it was inevitable not to see her reflection in it... And then the truth rushed before the world without question.
Yes world... Bonnie Bennett still loved Damon Salvatore.
Truths were always revealed in such simple ways and on such unexpected occasions... who would say that as she sat on a dusty seat, looking at the reflection of her tired eyes in a window, under the city lights, the truth would resurface with so much melancholy?
That question was answered with a wistful little smile.
Yes... She still loved him...
A snore caught her attention. The smile faded.
Seeing the little girl in her arms once more, Bonnie realized something more real than her feelings.
There were things more important than an illusion from the past... her only reality was in her arms. Sarah mattered more than anything else, Bonnie, always remember that.
Just a few more minutes battling between her feelings and her reality.
A decision put an end to the conflicting thoughts. Once again the feelings were crushed by the pessimistic reality and they continued to be part of the past.
Better to think that way. Without extending the discussion further, Bonnie noticed the stop. Thank God.
She got off public transport carrying Sarah in her arms. She walked a few streets and every now and then Sarah's small body would slip and Bonnie had to make a moderate effort to get her back into her arms and not wake her up.
The little girl wasn't that little, Sarah was getting bigger every day and that brought a real smile to Bonnie's face despite her anxieties and extreme exhaustion.
Bonnie sighed a little and moved her head slightly to hug Sarah tighter. She really loved the little girl with all her heart. With Sarah, she had learned to be a little more sensitive and caring.
Thanks to Sarah, Bonnie had become a different person, how not to have changed? She was the one who had taken care of Sarah since the girl was a baby. And for that reason Bonnie loved the girl as a true mother did.
But one of the things Bonnie certainly regretted was having to take Sarah with her to work. Her baby sister should be lounging in a comfortable bed, not in her arms.
"Someday I'll give you a better life than this, Sarah... I promise you."
Bonnie kissed the little sleeper's head and continued walking down the street.
After a long walk, they were finally home.
With a bit of nimbleness, Bonnie pulled her keys out of her purse, unlocked the door, and stepped inside not suspecting that an old driver was calling her former love.
In the past.
After the unexpected kiss on her forehead, Bonnie saw the books on the table. She knew Damon had been taking night classes at the university, he was in his second year of finance, but had to freeze the semester because he did not have the full money for tuition and the calculus books caught her attention.
"Do you study?"
"Oh... I just practice... you know so as not to lose the sequence..." Bonnie wasn't surprised. Damon was always very dedicated in everything he did. An idea came to her mind.
"How are your knowledge with mathematical operations?"
Damon smiled, he didn't expect her to ask that question.
"Good... I think, why?"
"I... I... am having trouble with... algebra." She gave a little whisper. She never liked to ask for help, but with the confidence that was in them, Bonnie dared to suggest that she really needed urgent help, even she was going to talk to John, but being here, she preferred to speak first with Damon.
"Do you want me to help you with that...?"
Bonnie nodded. "Yes... it turns out that I was chosen to participate in the math Olympics and compete with other schools..."
Damon crossed his arms and nodded. He knew those competitions, but if she had been chosen, then he did not understand how could he help her.
"Wow... that's great... but how can I help you?"
Bonnie got up from the couch and walked across the room and spoke very fast and embarrassed.
"I memorized some exercises in my last exam and I was the highest grade... if I had known that-"
Damon made a gesture with his head and also got up, he stopped her making signs with his hands without understanding what she was saying.
"Did you memorize the exercises?"
Bonnie responded as if it were the simplest thing in the world.
"Yes... a complete guide with more than fifty algorithms..."
Damon widened his eyes in surprise. Damnit... a fifty exercises?
"What? Are you kidding me?"
For the last half hour, Damon was going through the answers to twenty exercises that he had chosen at random for Bonnie to do and she managed to solve them without any problem and in record time, that was ridiculously fast.
He put the leaves aside and snorted in overwhelmed breath.
"This is amazing... you are a genius!"
Absolutely not! Bonnie didn't think the same as him. She shook her head. "I don't think so... I don't know how to do an exercise other than these... and I don't know how to do it-"
"You're kidding, if you can-"
"I'm not kidding... I'm serious, if I entered that competition I will be everyone's laugh when I have to solve more complex exercises than these, they will think I cheated-" She answered a little nervous.
Damon put his hands on his hips and of course he was going to help her.
"I can teach you... if you want, it won't be difficult-"
Bonnie interrupted him without hiding her joy. "Really? Can you help me... can you teach me, this?"
Damon didn't see it as a problem, it was just some math. "Yes... numbers are not my thing, but... I have knowledge, I can teach you. When do you want to start?"
"Can we start right now?"
That afternoon, Bonnie had forgotten the whole fight with Elena, she forgot the hit and the insults and focused on the things she liked best.
to Study and to spend time with Damon.
Bonnie couldn't believe it... she had worked so hard... and she won, it was the first time she had won anything and the feeling she was experiencing was immensely incredible.
The competition had taken place in another institution, she had attended alone, since that same day Elena had a talent competition at the music school where she watched classes.
Anyway, Bonnie hadn't told anyone about her participation in the math olympics except for Damon, he was the only one who knew about it and he couldn't accompany her because he had taken John, Abby and Elena to the theater.
Having been alone in something so important to her did not matter to her, it scared her but those were not an impediment to give her best effort.
Bonnie was so happy to have accomplished such a thing and was looking forward to sharing the news even with her mother.
When she got home, Bonnie was met with an aura of depression. Elena had not even won third place in the competition and that had devastated her and consequently the whole family was depressed.
How would she tell them that she had achieved something as great as winning first place in a regional math competition and that she would possibly have a place in the next national competitions and that if she continued like this she could opt for a scholarship at a university? How?
But that wasn't her problem, she wanted to share it and it was at that very moment that Bonnie walked with her head up to her mother. For the first time in a long time, she struggled to get Abby's attention.
"Abby... I want to show you something..."
Abigail glanced at Bonnie. She was in the kitchen with Elena, comforting her.
When Elena saw Bonnie come into the kitchen, she got up from the stool and hugged Abby while she whispered a few words in her ear.
Bonnie looked away and waited for both people to say goodbye.
Abby kissed Elena on the forehead. "Wait for me in the room my sweet girl, I will prepare a tea and I will take it to you myself."
Elena with her puffy eyes nodded and stepped past Bonnie without saying a single word.
After the fight, nothing was ever the same between them.
The resentment grew larger in Elena's heart. She no longer considered Bonnie her sister and did not forgive her even though the whole matter was resolved. Elena in the end accepted that Bonnie was not to blame for anything, but despite that Elena continued to see Bonnie as a rival.
Bonnie on the other hand did not care and just ignored her, but deep down she missed having Elena around her with all her childish behavior, because somehow Bonnie had already gotten used to it.
However, the gap between them was getting bigger and bigger, especially when it came to sharing the attention of their own parents.
When Elena left, Abby began to look for some things in the kitchen drawers without paying attention to her daughter.
"Make it quick... Elena needs me right now."
Bonnie nodded and took the small certificate out of her bag and showed it to her hiding every emotion she was feeling.
Abby grabbed the certificate and looked at it blankly.
"What-what is this?"
Bonnie noticed the lack of interest in her mother and was quick to explain.
"That is... is... a diploma, which... which... certifies that I..."
"Can you speak faster than that?" Abby spoke impatiently with raised eyebrows.
Abigail's unfriendly attitude destroyed the little happiness inside Bonnie.
Bonnie bitterly took the certificate from Abby's hands and lowered her head for a moment, then lifted it and looked her mother in the eye.
"I got first place in a math competition... I won first place. But surely that doesn't matter to you. Right?"
Abby looked at her again this time with more understanding. But to tell the truth, Abigail wasn't cut out to be a real mother.
"Well, good for you! Please don't show it to Elena, she's sad that she didn't make it to the semifinals and this might depress her more. OK?"
Abby continued making the tea for Elena and turned her back on her daughter.
Bonnie smiled sadly, what could she expect from Abigail?
Her mother would never be happy for something good to happen to her. Bonnie even went so far as to wonder herself, did Abby really love her the way she seemed to love Elena? the motherly way she treated Elena at times was so believable that Bonnie truly doubted it was just a lie, because it really seemed that her mother loved Elena more than she did.
Bonnie came out of the kitchen with more than resentment. Walking towards the exit of the house,, she bumped into John at the corner of the aisle and the certificate flew out of her hands.
John hurriedly raised the blade.
"Are you OK?"
and Bonnie just nodded, waiting with a raised hand for him to hand the certificate to her, but the paper caught John's attention.
John watched and read.
"This is... Wow did you win the regional math olympics?" he looked at Bonnie in surprise.
Bonnie nodded without enthusiasm. "Yes..." all the emotion that she harbored a few seconds ago was quenched by her mother's apathy.
John winced at the little energy Bonnie put into her answer and he definitely cheered her up like a real dad.
"Oh come on! This is great! Why didn't you tell us? It's awesome Bonnie, I also won a math contest when I was in school."
Bonnie shook her head and smiled. "Really? Were you a nerd?"
John laughed at the adjective. "Yes... just like you." he made fun of her too.
and that made Bonnie laugh too.
John nodded and patted Bonnie on the arm.
"You know... you are very good with numbers, maybe you can study the same career as me, although you still have one more year to think about it... but choose well, it would be fabulous to hire you as a junior in the company. It's a shame that Elena has no interest in these things, but you can think about it... in the future, what do you think?"
Bonnie widened her eyes in exaltation. "Thanks... I'll think about it! That would be great!"
Sometimes, unknowingly, John actually made Bonnie feel like his daughter and that was nice.
Elena heard every word John exchanged with Bonnie, it was painful to hear her father compare she to her.
Bonnie continued on her way after finishing the conversation with John.
The only person Bonnie really wanted to tell her was steps away from her.
She walked over and revealed the certificate by placing it in front of him.
"Thanks to your excellent teachings, I did it."
Damon opened his eyes and smiled with joy and pride.
They had worked tirelessly together every afternoon. Hard work gave these good results.
She had made it.
"I knew it... my trust was always in you!"
Damon approached Bonnie and hugged her tightly lifting her body a few inches off the ground.
It was something that definitely surprised Bonnie who ended up laughing. They both embraced until Damon realized his daring and with a bit of awkwardness he put Bonnie back in her place without moving away from her.
"I'm sorry..." he apologized.
It had been maybe a few weeks since he almost kissed her and the more time passed he really wanted to kiss her.
But Damon didn't want to rush things and screw them up and he was just waiting for the right time to come.
"I have something for you..." He took a tiny cloth bag out of his pocket and handed it to Bonnie.
"What is it?" Her eyes widened in surprise when she removed the knot and found a thin white gold chain with a tiny drop-shaped emerald, it was so small and beautiful.
"Oh my god... is this for me...?" She looked up and Damon nodded.
"It's a gift for having won..." He smirked at the joy in Bonnie's eyes.
Bonnie was happy, but suddenly her expression changed. She was concerned that Damon was wasting his money on something as expensive as this, because it must have cost a fortune, and Damon needed to save for college tuition.
"Don't worry... it didn't cost me much..." He winced when Bonnie looked at him with narrowed eyes. "Well yes... but it's beautiful and it made me think of you, do you like it?" he scratched his head, waiting for her to agree to take it.
"you know this was not necessary, Damon... with that hug was more than enough for me. But... I love it... thanks you so much..."
She whispered gratefully.
Bonnie was adorably modest and maybe that was one of the qualities Damon liked the most about her.
"I- I'll put it on you."
Bonnie nodded, turned her back, and lifted her hair. Damon placed the necklace on her and again she turned at him and she took the pendant in her hands.
"Really thank you, Damon... it's beautiful."
Damon stared at her and for an instant Bonnie thought they would kiss this time, but a voice interrupted the moment.
"Damon!"
It was Abby with her arms crossed looking very seriously at the two.
Bonnie backed away from him, and Damon with a bit of discomfort turned to Bonnie's mother.
"Yes?"
"John wants to talk to you."
Damon nodded and turned to say goodbye to Bonnie before going to see John. "Congratulations." he whispered and Bonnie gave him a smile in response.
Without waiting for what her mother wanted to say, Bonnie walked in the same direction as Damon and just as she passed Abby's side, she took her by her arm.
"Be very careful what you are doing with that boy." The suggestive tone Abby used didn't like Bonnie at all, but she didn't care.
"What I do or not! Is not your problem!"
And with that Bonnie sped away, leaving Abby completely alone.
Damon looked at Elena in the rear view mirror, the whole way she didn't say a single word and that was strange.
Damon was taking her to the house of one of her friends so that she would spend the weekend there. Elena was doing that lately. Since the fight she has been spending time away from home and it was kind of weird not having her around.
"We haven't talked in a while? Why don't you tell me-"
"Why don't you ask Bonnie."
Elena interrupted him without taking her eyes off the car window. Damon was impressed and nodded, now he understood well what was happening between them.
"You know Elena... Bonnie isn't-"
"You prefer her... everyone prefers her... first Matt... then dad... and now you... it's not fair!"
Damon gave a small sigh of frustration, because yes, the relationship between the girls was much worse than before.
"I don't prefer anyone, and neither does your father."
He paused for her to consider something else.
"Like you, she may also be thinking that her own mother prefers you instead her. Haven't you thought about that?"
Damon waited for a reaction, but Elena preferred to ignore the comparison.
"Your father loves you more than anything, but... he hates the way things happened between you two."
"She hit me!" Elena yelled at him from the back seat.
"You hit her first and you were insulting her when it was not her fault! you didn't give her a chanc-"
Are you defending her?
"It's not that! you have to know how to deal with the consequences... if you talk to Bonnie I'm sure that you two can fix things."
"Like you and your father?" Elena snorted mockingly.
Damon stiffened upon hearing what she said.
"...Is different."
Elena between closed her eyes.
"You are a hypocrite... I heard you talk to my father. That man is offering you the opportunity of your life and you are wasting it, why?" Elena was beginning to suspect why Damon didn't want to agree to go with his father, but she didn't mention it. "You can live better than this! why don't you want to do it? what's stopping you?"
Elena pressed him, but Damon didn't say anything, she knew how close he had become with Bonnie and that was also one of the things Elena resented.
Damon stared straight ahead and clenched his knuckles.
What was stopping him? What stopped Damon from accepting his father's proposal? in accepting his help and going with him and studying and building a future. A future that guaranteed him a job in his father's company, in having everything that was denied him since he was a child, in getting to have a different life than the one he had now.
What stopped him from accepting his father's proposal? What...?
Yes, his father was Giuseppe Salvatore, a rich man, a rich man who fell in love with a humble woman and when he found out that he had made her pregnant he left her alone with a son and the only thing he left his son, it was a surname, a surname that until now had meant nothing to Damon.
But now, Giuseppe Salvatore had returned repentant wanting to fix the mistakes of the past and give his son a place in the family and perhaps in the company and although the proposal was tentative Damon still harbored resentment and pain.
Something that at first influenced his decision, but now after thinking it over Damon was sure he didn't want to accept his father's help.
He just couldn't do it, because if he did, then that meant he would have to go far away from here and he really didn't want that... but why?
Damon wasn't sure, he just knew he didn't want to.
It doesn't matter if that family could offer him more than he had right now. He was fine where he was, what he had was enough, he never needed his father and would never need him.
"Sometimes Elena, the little we can have is enough... and what happens between my father and me is none of your business."
They had arrived and Damon parked the car. He was definitely upset and Elena was too.
"Then what happens between Bonnie and I shouldn't matter to you either! And when you talk to your father and fix things between the two of you... then I'll start listening to your advice... otherwise keep your words!"
Elena opened the car door and stopped before exiting and turned her gaze to Damon, she hated having to fight him.
"I'm sorry I didn't mean... I'll think things over about her and me, but I didn't assure you anything. Bye, see you Sunday!"
They both gave each other awkward little smiles.
Elena got out of the car and Damon drove off, rambling through his thoughts.
Present.
Elena approached immediately when she saw Bonnie enter with Sarah in her arms. She had just arrived too, in general Elena was the one who was late, not the other way around.
"Poor little girl... I was worried when I didn't see you at home. why did you two take so long? Since when does she sleep?"
Elena spoke quietly so as not to wake the girl, walked over to Bonnie and kissed Sarah on the cheek.
"Sorry... I had to clean the oven and,"
Bonnie responded with a grimace of displeasure as she remembered everything she had cleaned up.
"...she fell asleep half an hour ago. I'm going to put her to bed..." Bonnie dumped her purse and backpack on the couch.
"Wait... did she eat something?"
Bonnie nodded, "Yes... she had dinner at the restaurant."
"And you? I'm preparing dinner, do you want to eat?"
"Yeah... that sounds good... I haven't eaten anything."
"Then you'll love what I'm cooking..." Elena spoke each word with great enthusiasm and Bonnie just laughed.
"Sure!"
Bonnie put Sarah to bed in her room.
The small condo only had two rooms. Sarah shared the room with Bonnie and sometimes when she was in a good mood she slept with Elena.
Bonnie leaned against the door frame for a while while still looking at Sarah, then she looked over her shoulder as she heard Elena sing a song, from there she could see her in the kitchen while she finished preparing dinner.
Bonnie smiled sympathetically as she identified the song.
Apparently someone was in a good mood tonight... And... The food smelled incredibly good, considering how little culinary experience Elena had.
Bonnie looked at her a little thoughtfully.
They had been through a lot between the two of them... how many fights and arguments there were... the two came to hate each other.
Like blaming rivalry and jealousy, if they both came from different worlds, they were both young and unable to understand the things they had gone through before meeting.
Abby's relationship didn't help much either. Her rudeness... her mistreatment... her indifference towards her only daughter at that time, along with the jealousy that Bonnie had when she witnessed her false motherly love for Elena. All of that added to the resentment that once existed between them.
But all that was left behind.
Bonnie smiled again.
How many things happened for them to put aside their differences and their stupid hatred. Neither of them had admitted it, but it could be said that now they loved each other... and all thanks to Sarah.
She and Elena would always be united for life by that bond.
And Bonnie, like Elena, was happy not to be so alone.
Who would have imagined that after all this time they would truly become sisters.
Bonnie stepped closer and took off her coat.
"It smells really good..."
Elena turned around with a huge smile of pride. "I have improved, right?"
"Yeah... although the flavor will affirm that!"
"I'm sure you will like it!"
Bonnie was sure of that too. Thinking of something else,
She had to tell Elena that she had seen Damon.
But she didn't know how to start the conversation to tell her.
"You know... Today Sarah gave me a taste of all her fashion knowledge..." the words came out with a smile.
Although Elena had her back to her, Bonnie knew that she was smiling.
"Well... she learned from the best. My little girl is half Gilbert after all!" she said giving a look over her shoulder with a smile from ear to ear. "You should see her when she goes to the store... her eyes shine like two stars and she even gives advice to customers... can you believe it?"
Bonnie smiled at the comment.
Yes, she could believe it, because Sarah was too reckless and since Elena started working at the clothing store as a sales consultant, Sarah had not stopped talking about all the dresses in there.
God... she so wanted to buy one of those dresses for her and more when her seventh birthday approached.
Bonnie knew Sarah would have loved that. But with all the recent expenses, Bonnie had to spend the money she had so painstakingly saved for that and she used it to pay the bills.
Damn it... every time she set out to do something, something else happened and it ruined her plans.
With that disappointing thought, she walked over to the rack to put her coat on top of it and saw the shopping bags on the living room floor, she walked over to them and looked.
"Did you buy... all these things?"
Bonnie was quick to ask, she first gave her the benefit of the doubt, because she didn't want to believe her assumptions were true.
Elena stopped, she had forgotten to put away the things she had bought and cursed under her breath when Bonnie asked the question.
"Yes..."
Elena responded without daring to look at Bonnie, who was simply surprised and not exactly happy. Talking about Damon had taken a backseat, because this was where her reality hit her and hit her hard.
"And you say it like that... so easy? This is very unfair Elena."
What to say to that? Elena couldn't defend herself, because yes, it wasn't fair, but she had a plan and if it worked, then Elena could make it up to her later.
Bonnie kept shaking her head completely disappointed.
Damnit!
"It's not fair... I had to ask for an advance on my salary to cancel the rent, because you couldn't cover that expense, even though it was your turn to pay it... and... Last time... you didn't help me pay for Sarah's tuition! But if you have money for these things! Really?"
Dammit! and to think that she helped Elena pay the bills with the money she was going to use to buy Sarah's dress! and Elena does this? Really?
Bonnie did not want to argue with her about money again, but money was always a very sensitive issue between them, because they just didn't have it, their financial situation was very unstable, some months would be good, others not.
And they were in this together. They were a team! This was how they were working to alleviate the problems. That had been the agreement, the two of them would split the expenses and the care of Sarah.
Just as today it was Bonnie's turn to take care of the little girl, tomorrow it was Elena's turn, that way they managed to maintain a balance.
Damnit! They were doing very well, but Elena's actions wasted all the breakthrough they had made.
"Stop spending money on unnecessary things, think that it is more important! Next week we will see the lawyer, Elena, and I cannot ask for another loan. If we do not get the payment to cancel his fees, all the legal procedure could be delayed. And... that may make us look very bad in front of the prosecutor. We can lose the custody of Sarah! I don't want to lose Sarah... do you want that?"
Bonnie asked desperately and Elena answered the same.
"Of course I don't want it!"
"Then stop wasting the money we don't have!" Bonnie took the clothes out of the bag and showed her disappointed.
Elena quickly took them out of her hand and put them back in the bag.
"I have a job interview, I have to be presentable..."
Elena was about to cry. Between the two of them, Elena was always more sensitive, she solved everything with tears and that did not matter to Bonnie, who in all these years never once shed a single tear in front of her or someone else.
And that card would not be played with her.
"Another interview...? You have a job! If you continue like this, you will lose anoth-" her eyes detected the truth in Elena's gaze, Bonnie gasped.
"Did you get fired... Right?"
Elena didn't reply.
Bonnie closed her eyes and massaged her temples, this was perhaps the fourth job Elena had lost this year. And the worst... it was not the time to lose other job. With all the expenses they had, Bonnie couldn't do it alone, Elena wasn't really helping her, like not bothering with so many bills to pay.
Bonnie was silent and walked around the place not knowing what to think or say.
The way they were going, she would have to continue working double shift at the restaurant! got damn!
"I'll get other job... a better one! I promise!"
Elena had not been fired, she had resigned to get the job she wanted so much and if this time she got it, she could earn more money, that was her plan and she was sure that this time she would get the job.
Although Bonnie was unaware of her plans, even if she did, she would not agree and that was why Elena preferred to keep it a secret..
Bonnie didn't want to continue all the drama. She was tired too and... they just couldn't do more than move on.
"Just... just focus Elena... and please... stop wasting time-"
Bonnie barely whispered using the same slow tone of voice, but the criticism, and the way Bonnie looked at her, made Elena feel as if Bonnie believed she didn't care what was going on.
But it was not so. She was just trying to help by taking a new risk.
"Wasting time...? I am not wasting time, unlike you! I am fighting for my dreams! I have dreams Bonnie!"
Elena yelled at her expressing the anguish of all these years and despite everything, Bonnie could still understand her, but she did not agree with her.
"I also have dreams! But the reality is different! We can't live on dreams Elena! Understand that!"
Bonnie avoided yelling, because she didn't want to wake Sarah up.
But... yes, this was the main problem between them.
Elena still wanted to live clinging to an illusion, and Bonnie didn't! she was living up to their reality and their reality was kicking their ass, but Elena didn't want to understand that.
"You know what? I can't deal with you right now, you don't understand... you would never understand!"
Elena took the bag, she did not want to continue arguing, but before going to her room she turned around and unburdened herself in the worst way with small tears running down her cheek.
"I never wanted things to be like this... but I have done everything possible... and... you don't even appreciate what I do, you always demand more and more of me... you're so selfish!"
Elena put her hands to her lips, she regretted the moment the last words left her mouth, and her regret was greater when she saw Bonnie's pale face.
"Selfish? Really? Did you-you just call me selfish?"
Bonnie lengthened each word painfully. She felt the full weight of those accusations.
"I didn't mean to say it that way..."
Elena tried to redeem her mistake, but it was too late to change what she had said, the words were said and Bonnie knew that was exactly what Elena thought of her.
"Do you think I wanted things to happen this way too, Elena?"
Bonnie no longer wanted to continue the discussion, but she was fed up with everything that had happened in the last few months and her patience reached the limit with what Elena had said. Somehow if she didn't speak now and save it for her, later Bonnie knew she would explode and vent in the worst way and she didn't want that.
Elena lowered her head, she wiped her tears, now she had to accept the consequences of her stupid outbursts.
Bonnie waited a moment and kept talking.
"I had many dreams Elena... but the reality was different and I had to deal with it alone! You more than anyone should know it... And you call me selfish? I, who stayed with your father and Sarah when I could have gone away and left them alone... and fulfill each of my dreams!" she snorted and smiled with bitterness.
"Bonnie... I-"
Bonnie raised her hand, "let me finish..."
Bonnie never spoke to anyone about how she felt having to give up all her dreams, not even she had discussed it with Elena. She was always very reserved on that issue because she knew that despite everything, she had made the best decision. She never regretted it and there was no need for people to know all that she had sacrificed.
She reserved talking about everything out of respect for John's memory and out of love for Sarah, because what she had done, she had done because she wanted it and not out of obligation. But Elena had to remember what apparently she had forgotten.
"I... took care of John after Abigail left us. I didn't even go to my graduation, or stupid dances, I couldn't continue my college career despite the scholarship I got. Instead you... left!"
Bonnie pointed her finger at her.
"You went to study in another city, and you only came when there was no more money to pay for your exuberant whims. Even when you returned and did not want to take care of your own father, because you felt bad to see him sick in bed... I took care of him! I had to take charge when I was still a teenager, I sacrificed every one of my dreams..."
A pause.
"I took care of John and Sarah... even when it wasn't my responsibility, because they weren't my responsibility... and I did it, not because I had no other choice or because it was my obligation, no! I did it because I wanted to, because John didn't deserve to be abandoned like Abby did And neither did Sarah... I stayed because they were my family. And you call me selfish? Do you really call me! selfish? after all this time...?"
Elena tried to get closer. "Bonnie... I didn't mean for it to sound like that... seriously, I didn't mean..." but Bonnie pulled away.
"No... it's okay, I don't care... maybe you're right, I'm selfish. I, Elena, want to keep fighting for Sarah, because damn it!"
Bonnie's voice shook and the words came out with anger and bewilderment because she really didn't know until now what was going to happen in the future.
She didn't even want to think that Abigail could get away with it and take Sarah from her.
That was Bonnie's biggest fear. Because she didn't have to be smart to know that the only thing Abigail cared about was the money she could access if she was left with full custody of Sarah.
"I'm not going to let Abby get away with it and take Sarah from me. And if that's being selfish, then yes! You can keep calling me that!"
Elena averted her gaze elsewhere... she knew that Bonnie was right.
Bonnie picked up her purse and went straight to her room.
"Bonnie... wait... Aren't you going to eat?"
Elena's concern was more than sincere. She didn't want to fight Bonnie. They had spent so many years fighting each other, that Elena was tired, and that made her feel so bad about herself because many of those fights were caused by her fault, like now.
Bonnie stopped and spoke calmly, there was no resentment in her voice, just a painful disappointment.
"My appetite is gone, thank you. Today was a long day... I'll go take a shower. Good night..."
Bonnie did not wait for an answer, she did not want to be upset with Elena, but it was inevitable not to get carried away by the bitterness of her words.
Damn she was never selfish... she wished she was for the fucking time in her life selfish, but that was not her nature.
Bonnie got into the shower after a brief moment in her room. She turned on the faucet and let the cold water run down her body... and there in the solitude of a small bathroom, Bonnie secretly cried as she always had for all these years.
She wept and let the water wash away her sorrows and sorrows. Bonnie cried and let the water wash away her worries and give her more strength to move on. She cried because she was tired of this life and Bonnie cried because she wanted to give Sarah a better life, a different life, but she couldn't.
Bonnie cried because she didn't understand how her mother was so despicable. She cried for John, because he had been a father to her, perhaps the only father she ever knew. Bonnie cried for Elena, because after all she was her sister and Bonnie didn't want things to happen that way for them either...
And finally she cried for Damon, because in all these years she hadn't stopped loving him one fucking time.
Bonnie dropped down and crouched down hugging herself.
Sometimes she hated pretending to be strong... when she herself knew she wasn't...
Elena cried sitting in the living room after Bonnie entered the room. She cried because Bonnie was right and that still weighed heavily on her.
She had made so many mistakes in the past, but there was one that hurt her the most and for which she would never forgive herself.
She regretted not having been a good daughter to her father.
Elena wiped away her tears, she remembered the day she received a call from Bonnie to tell her about her father's health and about her new financial situation, that day she took a flight back after not being home for a long time. It was one of the worst days for her.
Accepting that she could no longer be the Elena Gilbert, whom she was used to being, was very hard to assimilate. But what happened next was harder to bear.
Elena thought that all the misfortunes had befallen her family. But then everything got worse and she believed that things couldn't get any worse. But no!
Now, the situation really was much worse. With Abby trying to take Sarah from them, after five years of absence only to access the money from the life insurance that John had left in the name of the little girl, and from which they could not collect, because simply, neither Bonnie nor Elena were legally Sarah's guardian.
Unfortunately her father did not predict that.
But the money remained blocked since then and now Abby having knowledge of that, she returned to claim her rights, but not on Sarah but rather on the money. What Abby did not count on was that Bonnie would not allow it so easily, not without first fighting, for that reason now both faced a judicial process in order to have full custody of Sarah.
Because truly the only thing that mattered was Sarah. Bonnie even asked her mother to take the money and grant her to legally adopt Sarah, but Abby refused.
And with the economic factor that was not helping, things looked very bad for them.
With everything that was going on, Elena knew that Bonnie was more than worried... and of course she was... How could she not be? Bonnie took care of Sarah since Abby left her at just one and a half years old and it was Bonnie who took care of Sarah like a mother.
When Elena returned it was quite difficult to gain the trust of her little girl, Sarah practically did not know her. She was only a few months old when Elena decided to go to college and returned a few years later. But in the end all three managed to move on after John died.
Elena opened her eyes disappointed in herself, because Elena knew that Bonnie had been carrying all the responsibility alone.
And yes... she wasn't helping much either. Damn... when would she learn? Bonnie was right. She had to face reality and this was reality for them.
She didn't want to lose Sarah either.
Elena sighed and kept crying..
Yes... she definitely had to apologize to Bonnie. She would tell her that she was going to promise to return everything she had bought and would focus on quickly finding a new job and trying to find the money to be able to pay the lawyer.
Yes...
With her eyes closed, Elena heard knocks followed by the sound of the doorbell.
When she opened, she never thought she would find him there, standing in front of her.
And when she heard his voice, she knew that everything was real.
"Elena?"
It was him... "Damon... i'st you? Oh my god, it's you..."
Despited the surprise and disappointment in his eyes, Damon accepted the hug with great affection... how long had it been without him being able to hug her...?
And there it was... he heard her sobs.
Elena cried in his arms, just like the day the two of them last saw each other, when Damon embarked on the journey that led to his now new life.
"Do not Cry..."
Elena snuggled closer to his chest... she had cried so much over the past years, but all the tears were never enough to ease her pain.
"Dad died... Damon... Dad died..."
Elena moaned breathlessly clinging to him with all her might.
Damon ran his hands through her hair and held her in his arms.
He knew it... when he returned, that terrible news also devastated him, that was one of the reasons for wanting to find Bonnie urgently, because Damon didn't know exactly what had happened after he left and especially after John's death.
With a soft voice, Damon comforted Elena in his arms.
"I know, Elena and... I'm so sorry, I'm really so sorry..."
AN:
This chapter focused more on Bonnie and Elena's relationship.
Bonnie taking on an important role and Elena trying to adjust. Perhaps Bonnie has matured faster than Elena because of all the difficulties she has been through in her entire life. But despite the rivalries of the past, they have achieved a brotherly relationship thanks to Sarah and nothing and no one can change that.
Bonnie still loves Damon, but for her the reality she faces is more important, because she really doesn't want to lose Sarah.
Now, we know what happened to John and why he is not with the girls. And Abby, Abby is still the same selfish woman.
Thanks for reading and I apologize for any errors found.
There is little left to finish dusting off the past. Thanks!