A/N: Hi guys! We've reached the double digits! I'm so grateful for your reviews and the support I've gotten for this story. I have so much planned and I can't wait for you guys to see what's coming. ;)

His breath came out in the form of soft mist, dispersing just as soon as another huff forms. His breathing continues to come out short and labored as he leapt from building to building. The icy air stabs his lungs as he lands roughly. His shoulders tense and his body jerks to a stop. He observed the rooftop he had landed on. To the naked eye, it was a normal, average rooftop. There was nothing that stood out. It had no features that made it more appealing to the surrounding buildings. To anyone else, they would've kept going and ignored the blackened and rusty floor. Anyone with the exception of Raphael.

The second oldest brother fell to his knees, tears forming in his tightly closed eyes. It had been a month ago when he and Mikey had arrived on the rooftop to only find an unconscious Leo and a bo. Leo had been injured and drugged while Donnie was kidnapped by some new enemy. All that was left of his missing brother was the bo staff he carried.

The blood that had stained the roof was long gone. Washed away by the rain that was threatening to fall down once again from the clouds that covered the twilight skies of New York. Raph didn't care. It wouldn't be his first night caught in a storm, much like how it wasn't his first night arriving at the devastating building.

As the days grew into weeks with no sign of Donatello, Raph found himself returning to the building whenever the grief of losing his brother grew too much to bear. At first, the sight had ignited determination. It made his muscles intensify, giving him a burst of adrenaline that he would then use to continue his lone search efforts. Now, after a painful month with no results. No clue as to where Donnie was located, Raph could feel grief and guilt wrap tight around his heart.

Grief from the possibility that Donnie had been dead all along and was never going to return to their family. Grief from Splinter's death returning full force. Without their father to support them, it made them feel all the more alone and scared. The responsibility of finding their brother rested solely on their shoulders. Leo would try to reach Donnie on the astral plane but it always led to failure. Mikey continually prayed that we would find a sign. He tried his best to keep our spirits high yet the hopelessness of the situation was starting to take its toll. Raph had spent most of his time topside. He knew it irritated Leo for him to be topside during daylight hours but what was Raph supposed to do?

He wasn't spiritually gifted like Leo. He didn't have Mikey's positive nature. Even Karai was exerting her sources to find information. April and Casey had been spending their time helping Karai, occasionally helping with the searches that were becoming futile. Still, spending his days searching, combing through each building was all Raph could do.

If Donnie was there, Raph had no doubt he would've made ten times more progress than any of them were making. He would've used some advanced technology that could've given them some idea where the threat was.

'But he's not here, and who's fault is that?"

Raph didn't stop the tears that ran like a river down his cheeks, landing on his shins, drop after drop. They glistened in the silver light from the moon. If anyone else had been there Raph would've done everything in his power to hide his emotions, but that wasn't the case. He was all alone. Left to sulk alone.

Donnie had called Raph. He had called him. Not Mikey, not April, him. During the ambush Donnie had phoned Raph, pleading for the hothead brother to come to his and Leo's aid. Donnie's voice was filled with fear. Raph could hear his brother's voice shake as he struggled to get the message out. Raph remembered Karai's worried expression as Donnie's voice cut through the space between them. Raph could feel his eyes bulging out from the words his brainy brother had spoken. His heart stopped when the line went dead. The last word his brother spoke had rang in his head much like it continually ringed now.

"Raphie. . ."

Raph had failed. His brothers had needed him and he failed. He was supposed to be the family protector. He was the one who made sure his brothers got home safely. Even if it meant taking a bullet to the gut, he would. No matter how many times he argued with Leo, how many times Donnie blew up the lair, or how annoying Mikey got, Raph would rather let himself face any wound or punishments than his siblings.

During battle, Raph was the one that would watch his brothers' backs. Over the years, he noticed how he would watch Donnie's more so than Mikey's or Leo's. It wasn't from the fact that Donnie was weak, well, he wasn't as strong as the rest of them but when he was peeved enough, Raph was almost impressed by his brother's strength. Raph watched Donnie's back for the reason that Donnie was the brains. It wasn't unusual for The geek to stop midway during a fight scene to take care of any technical issues. Whether it was disarming a bomb to shutting down security measures, Donnie was the master at it. Though it did have it's disadvantages. While Don dealt with the complicated tech, his shell was left defenseless. Whenever Raph noticed him in the middle of something, he took it upon himself to protect his brother's back. It was challenging but Raph didn't care. If his brother could get the job done with no injuries, that was enough to satisfy the hothead.

Raph never truly realized how often he really started to subconsciously watch Donnie's back. He would always fight his enemies in a way where his immediate younger brother was in his eyesight.

The only moments where Raph couldn't protect his brother was during times where Raph was the one inflicting pain. . .

All he wanted to do was sleep in his bed till next Saturday. He wasn't looking forward to the morning's training session that was sure going to hurt like shell. His sore body demanded rest but his mind couldn't turn off. His thoughts swirled through his head, preventing comfort and a peaceful slumber take over.

He looked over his small clock on his nightstand. It illuminated his tired eyes, informing him that it was nearly three in the morning. He grunted into his pillow. He should be able to rest easy after the exhausting day that today was. His eyes drifted over to a small, worn rag. There were two bowls beside said rag. One held little water while the other was filled with lettuce that had begun to rot. It was right where he placed his beloved pet turtle.

His turtle that had been mutated into a monster.

Spike, or at least Slash, had been mutated by Donnie's last canister of mutagen. Raph was sick and tired of Donnie's constant explosions. He let his temper get the better of him and left Spike alone with the mutagen.

When Spike mutated, he gave Raph the offer that he had always wanted. Spike, or Slash, had made Raph believe that they could become a team and work together, no fooling around. The idea filled Raph with excitement, but that excitement quickly turned into dread.

He didn't know that when Slash had issued their partnership that it meant the others would suffer. . .

Ironically, it was Donnie that Slash had gone after at first. With Raph's earlier angry burst at the second youngest, it made perfect sense why Donnie was taken down first. Raph remembered the sick feeling he got when he and Mikey found him, bruised and broken.

Not too long after Donnie was found Mikey had disappeared. The next time that Raph had seen his baby brother was when Mikey was tied up and hanging off a billboard. Much like Donnie, Mikey was injured, badly injured.

Another minute passed over Raph's face. He almost lost his two little brothers today. Heck, even Leo had gotten a good amount of bruises. Slash had disappeared in the end and they all made it home. Still, because of his anger, his brothers had gotten hurt.

Raph lifted himself from the mattress, sitting upright with his feet on the floor. Obviously he was going to get any sleep, not that he would get much if he did happen to. He groaned as he left the comforts of his bed and left the confinements of his room.

The lair was quiet. Everyone had departed to their rooms for the night, hopefully getting better sleep than what Raph was managing. As he looked around the dark atmosphere, Raph noticed the new scuff marks that had been made from the explosion earlier that day.

He knew Donnie was trying his best with his attempts at a retromutagen but it didn't make explosions any less annoying.

Speaking of the nerdy brother, Raph's eyes glanced over at Donnie's lab, only to notice the light that came from within. Raph rolled his eyes, and chuckled at the same time. Classic Donnie, pulling another all night, even after a dangerous night and a sprained arm. If Donnie was fixated on something, he was known for spending hours upon hours working on whatever problem he was trying to solve. Seeing nothing else to do, Raph walked to the stairs leading to the lab.

Raph pulled the doors open, wincing at the screeching sound. He didn't need or want to wake up Splinter or Leo, that would just be the cherry on top of an already messed up day. At least Raph wouldn't be the only one earning a lecture.

The screech had certainly surprised Donatello. The purple masked brother had nearly fallen out of his chair from the unexpected sound. Clutching his chest, Donnie turned to face the intruder, ready to lash out at whoever startled him, only to shudder in response. He turned his back towards Raph, hoping that if he ignored Raph long enough his older brother would get bored and go away. Sadly, simple methods really worked against the force that was known as Raph.

"It's past your bedtime brainiac." Raph commented, leaning on Donnie's desk, crossing his arms and his gaze at Donnie's head.

"Same to you Raph, what're you doing up?" Donnie asked, trying to keep the conversation pointed at his immediate older brother.

"Couldn't sleep, you?" Raph responded, trying not to sound too concerned. He looked over Donnie and almost shuddered. Donnie's skin was a few shades lighter. His body was still blanketed with bruises and bandages. His arm was held with a brace while his other arm clicked away on the mouse. He noticed how Donnie's eyes drooped from clear exhaustion but there was something else that underlined the deep bags that were badly hidden behind the purple fabric. The same purple fabric that Slash had taken as a trophy he wore around his bicep. Raph had been lucky enough to grab both Donnie's and Mikey's mask before Slash could make off with them.

"You know me, insomnia is both my friend and enemy." Donnie answered, keeping his gaze locked on his computer screen. A few minutes of awkward silence passed between two siblings. The sound of Donnie's fingers, as they typed away, was the only sound of noise that transpired. It was killing Raph. It wasn't that he didn't have anything to say, it was more that he didn't know how to say it.

"Look Donnie. . .I-" He trailed off, his eyes darting to the floor.

"Raph, if you're here to apologize there's no need. You have nothing to apologize for." Donnie stated. His fast pace typing drawing slower and slower.

"Would you just let me finish?" Raph groaned. "What I said to you, before Spike mutated, I didn't mean it. I was just angry and upset like always. Mikey got into my stuff and Leo was there to defend him like always. So I guess what I'm trying to say is that. . . well ya know. . ."

"Once again Raph, there's no sense in you apologizing. It was due to my incompetence that I almost blew up Spike in another failure of a cure that I'm too stupid to make." Donnie said, his head dropped forward.

Raph wanted to punch himself in the gut. He should've known Donnie would've taken everything more to heart than he showed. If Raph's sadorable comment from the previous year wasn't enough evidence, he didn't know what was. What was worse is that Donnie had the tendency to connect words to instances where he felt like, well basically an idiot. It was a tendency that Raph suspected Donnie had developed from their oldest brother. It was becoming increasingly irritating how alike Donnie and Leo were starting to become in Raph's opinion. He was considering 'informing' Leo just how bad of an influence he was becoming-

Raph shook his head. Now was not the time to criticize Leo for his many, many mistakes. For once he needed to console his brainy brother, no matter how awkward it would probably be for the both of them. He returned his focus to Donnie, once again shaking his head. Though Donnie wasn't looking directly at Raph, he could easily see his brother's puppy dog eyes. Somehow his younger brothers had perfected the art of the saddest and most heart wrenching puppy dog eyes. It was a look that Raph and Leo had been at then end of for years and it never failed to make them both fall for the look.. The difference between Mikey and Donnie's was Mikey's was seen far more often and usually came with a price that either Leo or Raph had to pay or to make the baby seem more innocent. With Donnie, the look was seen rarely and would only appear when Donnie really felt as depressing as his eyes revealed.

"Donnie, that's not true." Raph said before he could think. He winced from the cheesiness but even more so than that it wasn't even a response. Trying to convince Donnie that something wasn't true was never an easy feat.

"Funny how you say that when it was me who nearly killed Spike. It was me that made you angry and took the mutagen. Heck I wouldn't have even been working on that experiment if I hadn't been the one to mutate April's father along with every other citizen in New York City!" Donnie yelled, slamming his fist onto the desk. His eyes scrunched up in irritation that quickly turned downcast again. His breathing softened but Raph could see him wince from pain.

Raph could feel the urge to punch something become stronger and stronger. Of course Donnie was spending his late hours in his lab continually blaming himself for the mutagen spill. Before today Raph couldn't count how many endless experiments Donnie had been creating, cooped up in his lab, barely coming out. It was bad enough that April's dad had been the one that was mutated but it was even harder to see April yell at them when she found out that it was technically their fault for what happened. Though April had scolded at all of them, her hateful words were directed at Donnie more so than the rest of them. Raph had clearly seen her seething eyes glaring at Donnie's innocent soul. April had knew exactly what she was doing and frankly, Raph didn't know if he could ever forgive her. As much as he valued April's friendship, his brothers came first.

"Donnie, it wasn't just you that was responsible for the mutagen spill. We all played a part in that."

"But-"

"Geez Donnie would you let me finish, again? It's bad enough I'm doing this twice when we both know I suck at these things." Raph said, interrupting his little brother before he could make any comments.

"Look Donnie what April said. . .I know you're still hurting but you can't dwell on her words. She just needs time to cool down, she'll come around, okay? Anyway, she's not the point. Donnie you're the least incompetent person I know. Shell, you're smarter than any of us put together. I mean look at what you're doing! A retromutagen? Don we don't even know if it's possible and yet here you are. Working your shell off to find it because that;s how you are. Your friggin big heart working relentlessly.

"Today, like I said, I was irritated and I took it out on you when I shouldn't have. I vented to Sp-Slash and in doing so he went after you first." Taking a deep breath and making sure that no one was listening in, Raph continued. "Basically I'm saying that I'm sorry Donnie. Really sorry. It was because of me you and the others got hurt but I know my words weren't much different. . .so can we skip the fact that this is painfully awkward and go back to how we were, ya know, before all of this?"

It took a few minutes but much to Raph's surprise, Donnie looked up at him with a small, gentle smile.

"Yeah, we can do that." He responded, nodding his head.

"Good." Raph said, hinting at a threatening tone. He looked back towards the doors and shrugged. They only had two hours left till training anyway. There was no real sense for getting any sleep now. Besides, Leo was most likely to cancel the night's patrol due to their lingering injuries and Donnie's sprain. Seeing nothing else to do, Raph walked over to where his shell cycle was, grabbing Donnie's nearby tool set.

"Um Raph? Not to be rude but what're you doing?" Donnie inquired, raising his brow.

"Might as well work on her now. Someone's gotta keep an eye on the insomniac." Raph said with a teasing smirk.

Donnie rolled his eyes with a smile. As much as he treasured his alone time something about Raph's presence was comforting.

"Oh and I wouldn't bet on me keeping this whole all nighter act from fearless." Raph smirked again, letting out a menacing laugh.

"You wouldn't dare." Donnie gasped, appalled.

"Try me."

That night had been one of Raph's most memorable with Donnie. They had spent the next two hours working on their own projects. Donnie calculated more of the mutagen's makeup while Raph had worked away on his mechanics. He knew he wasn't as skilled as Donnie but he knew how to hold his own. They traded small jokes and shared some embarrassing info that they both had gathered from their other brothers. By the time training started, Raph felt that Donnie truly soaked up his apology and wasn't hiding behind the emotionless facade he had used often. Leo had caught them exiting the lab and didn't spare them from the lecture of getting adequate rest each night especially when training was in the morning. Like always, Raph shrugged it off and even Donnie made several sarcastic comments.

Raph's eyes trailed to the barely visible stars. Twilight had long transitioned into a deep dark ocean. The clouds still lingered, threatening the city with thunderous roars. He remembered countless times when they were kids the mini lessons that Donnie had given them about all things with stars and planets. Raph often tried to ignore his brother's words or try to interrupt to start something else but there were times, rare times, where he took time to listen to Donnie's words. During those times, Raph admitted that he was hooked.

He knew he was harsh when they were kids. He argued with Leo, he would hit and yell at Mikey, and would either bully or avoid Donnie altogether.

With Donnie, Raph never knew how to act as tots. Donnie was so different. He was nerdy, sensitive, and logical. As much as Raph argued that it was because Donnie never came out of his lab to play and was always too much of a crybaby, it was only a part of it. The other part was that he was secretly intimidated by Donnie's abilities. When Splinter was teaching them, Donnie was always ahead. He started using big brainy words that to this day Raph didn't understand. He could fix everything in the lair and even had created his own inventions that greatly benefitted them.

As they grew, the feeling grew. Raph avoided Donnie even more for the reason he felt he couldn't hang out with Donnie. He felt too dumb to be around his brainy brother who could talk a mile a minute.

When training had started, Raph saw right away that Donnie wasn't going to fare well as the rest of them. He was lacking in natural skill and his form was thin. From the moment they all trained and practiced, Donnie was always two steps backwards. He spent more time on techniques and katas that took the rest of them barely a few days to master. Not to mention that he was given the bo. Raph could admit, he'd seen some pretty impressive moves from his younger brother but still. Even now, Raph knew that their previous enemies had thought less of his brother or pushed him aside.

During the previous years , Raph felt sorry for Donnie. He didn't like seeing Donnie fail from the exercises. He knew that one day they would all go topside and they would need to be on their top game if they were going to stop Shredder or the other crimes in the city. So he made comments during practices and sparring matches. He didn't always say the nicest things and he knew that he didn't tread lightly with his brother's sensitivity but in the end it was all means to try and encourage his brother. He wanted to see Donnie succeed and went about making crude remarks in the hope that Donnie would get fired up. Sometimes, they did work, other times. . .not so much.

He got punished by Splinter more than once and Leo never missed an opportunity to lecture him in some way. It agitated Raph to no end, eventually he shifted his focus from Donnie to Leo. He focused his attention to making sure he was stronger and superior in every way possible. In his mind if Donnie wanted to improve he'd do it himself.

Over the years, as Raph had previously thought, he changed his tune somewhat and opted to watch Donnie's back. Donnie still wasn't the best fighter out of all of them but Raph would be damned if he'd let the villains take advantage of it.

"Don. . ." Raph said aloud, more to himself. He brought his knees to his chest, wrapping his arms around them.

No matter how many times he told himself, Raph couldn't believe that his nerdy brother was still out in the world somewhere, alone. He couldn't bear to think of what torture Donnie was facing from this Osamu guy. Raph still didn't believe Leo when his oldest brother had given him the information that Osamu had relayed to him. It wasn't so much if the information was true, it was more on the lines of if Leo had given him and Mikey all the information. He knew Leo didn't have too many problems with keeping things from them. He much rather deal with stress on his own, which Raph hated. They were all dealing with the loss of Donnie, they should all deal with it together.

"One month Donnie. The guys and I. . .we haven't seen you for a whole month. I can't believe it. . ." Raph took in a painful breath, shuddering from the clouds overpowered the sky, droplets of water falling from their enclosure. They felt like tiny pins against Raph's exposed skin, but he ignored it. For all he knew the small pain paled in comparison to what Donnie was being dealt with.

If only he knew how right he was. . .

"Donnie, I know you can't hear me, I guess I'm pretending like you can for my own sanity. . .Do you remember what I said to you when I found your broken body after Slash beat you to a pulp. You asked for me and Mikey to leave you behind because you were too weak. I forgot to mention that bit when we had our long talk afterwards, but I told you no turtle left behind. I mean it brother. No matter what we're going to find you and bring you home.

"Donnie. . .please don't believe that you're weak. That you are ever too weak. You're stronger than you think little brother. I know that wherever you are you can overcome what's being thrown at you. I know it. You just need to hold out a little longer. We'll find you soon Don."

"Raphie. . ." The voice felt so real, as if it were right next to him, but he knew it-he wasn't.

That phone call was all that Raph cling to these days. It was the last time he heard his brother's voice. He felt it was all he had left. Raph groaned, the cold was beginning to get to him and he knew if he got sick he would never hear the end of it from fearless. Like his previous nights, Raph walked to the direction of April's. The redhead had kindly offered her apartment for Raph when he had begun his personal searches. Of course the nights he spent were filled with her trying to guilt trip him into going home, and occasionally he did. . .

Raph looked back at the rooftop. It had been a month. Maybe spending the night with the others was the best for right now. He knew Mikey was most likely a mess and Leo was probably struggling to help Mikey along with his own emotions.

He turned his head and walked off towards the familiar manhole cover.

The genius and the brute. The logic and the rage. The little brother and big brother.

Raph had hell to pay for the man who messed with the brains behind his brawn.

Poor Raphie, hopefully he gets to beat up Osamu at some point. Also, for you Mikey fans, don't worry! I have plenty in store for the baby boi and you'll see more of him in the next couple of chapters! Have an awesome day and I'll catch ya guys next week. . .