Chapter 11 – Sink or Swim

The sweet scent of shampoo wafted through the halls of the house, carrying the fruity aroma of apples with it. Eren was resting downstairs and, with Levi being upstairs taking a shower, he wasn't allowed to enter the man's room. The two hadn't spoken since their little scuffle a couple hours earlier, and decided it was best to stay apart for a while. The older man was contemplating talking to the boy, his body was telling him one thing, yet his mind told him another. It confused the hell out of him, but he was determined to sort out everything...somehow.

Damn...if only I could see...I'd be able to fix everything. I'm getting...symptoms from something. Fuck, I feel disgusting...I'm a wretched human being...I never should've lashed out on him...sorry. Sorry...I'm so sorry...

"...Sorry..." Levi half mumbled to himself as he leaned against the shower wall, not noticing the sound of the bathroom door opening.

"L-Levi...?" The brunet spoke gently, as if to avoid startling the man behind the glass door.

Levi's mind was racing. He was too exhausted—emotionally and physically—to respond. The air around his body felt increasingly heavy, like a weighted blanket had been draped across him. It was constricting his lungs, causing him to gasp for breath. He could feel the warmth of the water, yet everything was just getting colder.

Colder.

Colder.

Huh...?

There was a violent force throwing itself against his shoulders. It shook him relentlessly, in an attempt to wake him.

"Levi! Levi! Hey, wake up! Damn it, I leave for two seconds and you're already falling over."

Hm...? I...I know this person...this voice...this warmth... Who...who is it? I can't remember...

Levi's eyes fluttered beneath his eyelids, trying to coax his body awake. An arm was placed under his legs and back, lifting him in one fluid movement. The person, whom Levi had fuzzy memories of, proceeded to carry him out of the bathroom and into the bedroom. He set the smaller man down on the bed before walking off to grab some clothes from the dresser.

"...Er...en..."

The brunet rushed over to his side and laid a hand on his arm to show he was there. Levi slowly opened his eyes, confused at first because all he saw was black, then he remembered his illness. His hand raised a little, searching for the person whose hand was touching him. He aimlessly grasped the air, hoping, praying, that someone would sense his cry for help. The Gods must have been on Levi's side at that moment because just before he gave up, a soothing warmth was placed over his hand. The warm hand gripped lightly onto the skin below, being careful not to hurt it.

"Levi? Are you ok?"

The man turned his face towards Eren's voice.

"Levi?" He tried once more.

"...Eren...?"

"Yes, it's me. I'm here." The boy calmed himself slightly. "I'm right here, Levi, I'm not going anywhere."

Levi sighed, closing his eyes at the sound of Eren's voice, "Eren. I..." He trailed off.

"Yeah?"

I...I'm so sorry...I can't... You can't stay. Damn it. What do I tell him?

"Levi?"

Levi glanced up at the boy, then returned his sightless gaze to the blankets. He didn't know what to do. He couldn't just tell him to go home, could he? No, that was out of the question. If he did that, it would make Eren suspicious. Then again, Eren is always skeptical.

"Can you go to the store for me?" The raven-haired man asked nonchalantly. "I need a few things."

Eren beamed, "Of course! What do I need to get?"

Levi motioned his hand to a stack of post-it notes on the nightstand, "Write this down."

"What? You think I'll forget?" Eren teased.

"Precisely."

"Ok, ok." He chuckled as he grabbed a piece of paper and a pen.

"Are you ready?"

"Yep! I'm ready to write!"

"Ok, I need peaches—whole ones—, cinnamon, oatmeal, brown sugar, butter—not margarine—, and flour. Did you get all that?"

Eren's eyes skimmed over the list, "Yeah, whole peaches, cinnamon, oatmeal, brown sugar, real butter, and flour. Right?"

"Mhm."

"It sounds like you're gonna cook something. Like a peach cake or something."

"Cobbler, but yes. And you're going to help me." Levi mumbled as he laid back on the pillows.

Eren's eyes lit up, "What?! I'm gonna help you make peach cobbler!? Really?"

"Well, yeah. I can't see, dumbass. I'll need assistance."

"Oh, right...but, um, why're you making a dessert all of a sudden? Is it a special occasion?"

Levi slouched back against the bed and closed his eyes, sighing heavily. He raised his arm to rest on his forehead, inhaling to gain the air he lost.

"I just want to cook. That's it, nothing more." He then opened his eyes once more to look towards Eren.

What Eren saw in those silver eyes saddened him. He could see a hint of anger, along with sadness. But the emotion he couldn't bear to see on the man was one of regret. Ever since he'd come to Levi's house, he could clearly tell that Levi hated himself. He knew the older man didn't want to be alive, to be breathing, to be happy. Eren wanted nothing more than to comfort him, but he had no idea how to. He couldn't tell if Levi wanted to be left alone or hugged, and he wasn't about to find out on a whim. All he could do was sit back and wait.

"Eren?"

He flinched, "Y-yes?"

"Just checking."

The brunet tilted his head in confusion, "Checking?"

"To see if you were still here."

"Oh..."

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Ok, here's a short explanation of this chapter. Even though these two clowns didn't really fight in the last chapter, they decided to give each other some space to think and sort out their thoughts. HOWEVER! Eren, being the nosy brat he is, wanted to check up on Levi, so he went upstairs and that's when he found Levi having a mental breakdown. Hehe...anyway! Levi wanted ingredients to make peach cobbler for Thanksgiving. :)