Chapter Eleven: Some Sunny Day
Winter, Several Weeks Later, Cyran Province
The Ruins, Cipher's Laboratory
The ancient alchemy lab that had once been Bill and Alistair's secret hideaway was now Bill's center of operations. He'd created as sophisticated a setup as he was capable of, with his considerable knowledge of science, technology and tactics. Having learned more during his time with Alistair and his year in the City, Bill had created a solid network between his people and the other resistance cells throughout the country.
With as impressive as it was, it had been little comfort to him in the hellish days following the return of the rescue mission. He had to be a leader and leaders couldn't take time to drown their sorrows any more than he already had. People knew he was mourning, even encouraged him to take some time away from the responsibilities he'd taken on, to try and deal with his misery. Bill refused. The work was more important than his own emotions, he'd told them and besides, the work helped him stay focused. When he was coordinating and planning and keeping things safe, he didn't think about Alistair, about him being gone. He didn't allow himself to dwell on what might have happened to the man, what might be happening to him.
No, he only thought about that when he lay awake in his room in the Kendrick house, sleepless, trying to rest. It was only then that his wild imaginings began to take hold of him.
After Alistair vanished, Bill considered moving back to his parents' cottage. With Varien's condition only getting worse, Bill felt it was better for him to stay, keeping the gentleman company, keeping Risa company as she tried to care for the devastated Square. Bill's parents agreed, visiting Varien often, talking to him, staying with him and trying to bring him out of what could only be described as severe melancholia.
Bill, Risa, Karol and Louisa were worried. They discussed the possibility of medical care but the man didn't seem to be unhealthy or ill, other than his deep depression. And though none of them said it, they were afraid of the truth of his depression being revealed to the government by the medical authorities.
Varien was lethargic, silent, moving around only when assisted and eating only when asked. He was like an automaton. It scared all four of them but they had no other option than to care for him and watch him and hope that eventually, he might come out of it.
Bill didn't mind taking care of Varien, he loved the man. He didn't mind overseeing the resistance movement, he cared for his friends and the people of Flatland. He didn't even mind when the resistance began increasingly turning to him for leadership, all the resistance, even the most militant of groups.
He was, as he'd written not that long ago, the Cipher. He was Cipher, leader of the Flatland Resistance. Cipher, commander of the Subversives.
And he knew that Vyraius Cerchio knew who Cipher was.
William Sifras, the young Triangle who'd refused him, who denied and fought off his sexual advances and was responsible for the destruction of his Palace and later, his stranglehold on his country.
Bill knew a man like that would have hated him simply for the insult of refusing to become his consort. Adding to that his general affiliation with the Subversives, his planning of the attack on the Palace and now, his clear and competent leadership of the resistance, well, it simply wouldn't be bearable. Not for a man like Cerchio.
Cerchio was too arrogant, too egocentric to be anything but incensed by Bill's rebellion. He'd take it personally. Too personally.
Bill had increased guards around the Kendrick house, suggested that his parents might want to move in with them for their own safety. They didn't really want to leave their own cottage and he didn't blame them, it was the only thing they had that was entirely theirs. At the same time they really wanted to be closer to Varien, to help the man they considered part of the family, however they could.
After a bit of a discussion in which they'd even tried to ask Varien about it, they'd agreed to move in. His answer had been a slight incline of his upper side, which was more than they'd expected and hoped to see from him, so they decided it was a good sign, at least where the Square gentleman was concerned.
The move was planned at the end of the month, since it would take the Sifras' that long to pack, close up the house and make sure their things were safe.
Bill considered all of this as he sat in his lab, at his desk, staring at lists and plans and communiques from the other groups, regarding the movements of the Circle Militia throughout the Outer Prefectures. He'd been spending the last hour updating the rosters, marking out the cells that had been compromised, disbanded or vanished.
"Alistair," he whispered, dropping his apex to his desk a moment, lying there, eye closed. "I need you."
I know. I'm sorry.
He'd been so tired lately, he'd heard Alistair's voice in his dreams often and this time seemed no different. He supposed he was falling asleep on his desk again and for just this once, he didn't care. It was so nice to hear his voice, it didn't matter if it was another dream.
"Please don't be dead, your father can't take any more."
I know. I-I want to be with you.
"I can't take any more."
I... I'm not. Dead, I mean. I-I'm trying to come back to you. Please, just hold on a little more.
Bill went very still. He wasn't asleep, he was sure of it. And this, this wasn't a dream.
No, you're not dreaming.
He pushed up a bit, blinking. "Alistair?"
Remember when I said I could do a few things? That I had ways? Remember when I asked you to trust me? You're going to have to continue to trust me. I'll tell you everything soon.
"Alright," Bill breathed, "just, please come back. I-I love you. I don't know if I can keep doing this alone."
Bill, you are doing it. You've always been doing it. I only helped. It's always been you.
"You're telepathic," Bill whispered. "You always have been, haven't you?"
Yes, well.
Bill felt a laugh bubbling up inside him. When it came out, it sounded a little hysterical.
God, Billy, I love you. Please don't give up, you can do this. I'll be back with you soon and then I'll tell you everything, I promise. Trust me.
"I'll always trust you, Alistair."
I love you, Bill.
"I love you too," Bill sighed.
Late Winter, Trikampis Village
Sifras Cottage
"I think that's it, Mom," Bill said, looking around at the cartons around the living room. "We'll take this last bunch to storage and they'll be safe. The house should be locked up and you take the keys with you. I'll go get Dad."
Louisa nodded her eye and looked around. "I have the keys in my bag. I'll meet you and your father out front."
Bill went into the kitchen and out the back patio door to the garden.
Karol was standing in the garden, looking at the dormant plants. "I hate to leave them like this," he said as Bill approached. "I don't want to leave the house-"
"I know but we will keep an eye on it. It will be alright. Nobody will take it from you. This is only temporary, until-uh, until things are better. U-until Varien is better."
"Bill," his father said, "you're doing so well, better than I ever dared to imagine you would, but-"
"It's alright, Dad. I just want to keep you safe."
"Yes," Karol said. "I know you do." He turned to look at his son. "I want you to know, William, your mother and I are so very proud of you. So very proud."
Bill nodded and glanced down, feeling a flush in his angle. "Dad, you don't have to say-"
"No, Bill. This is important. I am so very proud. You have done things I could never have dreamed, made such a difference already, even if it had to be this way. Sometimes, son, things need to be shaken up for change to ever be assured. And freedom is more important than anything. I know you've tried very hard to keep things sane and safe, I know you haven't always succeeded, I know you're willing to fight for your friends and your family. Through all of this, I have supported you. Your mother has supported you. Varien and his family have supported you.
"You have made me very proud to be a Sifras. Very proud to have you as a son."
Bill fought down a hard gulp at his father's words. Love welled up inside him and he looked into his father's eye.
"Thank you, Dad," he managed, nodding again. "I-I'm proud to be your son. So proud." He swallowed hard. "I am so sorry for everything I said-"
"No, don't apologize, Bill. Never apologize for wanting more than you were given. Never apologize for seeking your dreams."
Bill drew in a deep breath. "We should probably go. The people who are taking your things to storage will be here soon, then we can lock the house."
"Alright."
They walked through the empty cottage to the front door, where Louisa was waiting for them.
"It's getting pretty cold out," Bill said, pausing. "Here, Mom, give me the keys. You guys go on ahead to the Kendricks' before it gets too much colder and I'll just stay to close the house."
"Oh? Perfect, we can get there just in time for tea and I can help Risa with dinner. Maybe between us we can talk Varien into having some tea this time." She handed the keys to Bill and kissed his apex. "Love you, sweetheart. See you soon."
Bill's eye smiled a little and he nodded. "Go ahead, try and see if he'll have some of your lemon cake. He loves it almost as much as I do."
"See you soon, Bill," his father said, kissing his apex as well. "Love you."
"Love you too," Bill said.
Bill stood in his family's tiny garden, house keys in hand, as night fell.
He couldn't leave the place.
The house was locked, windows battened down and secured against any weather that might occur while it was unoccupied, the chimney cleared, the flue shut, the basement locked securely and all the rooms emptied and cleaned. The garden's plants were covered and dormant, everything was safe and closed.
Closed.
He didn't want to leave this house any more than his parents had. His father had poured his life into this house, saved for years to pay it off, repaired and remodeled and cared for it like one of his own children. His mother loved it, decorated and cleaned it and spent most of her life here, taking care of Bill and creating her wonderful crafts and bakery masterpieces in the kitchen, working in the garden that both she and her husband loved.
Bill grew up in this house. He played here as a child, read in the garden as a teenager, hid books in a loose board in his bedroom wall, snuck out of the window on nights where he and Alistair would run out to the ruins to snuggle, giggle, learn each other and make love. He'd even checked his room before he locked the house, to make sure that all the secret books were indeed gone. They were.
But even so, with all of their possessions safely hidden away in the Resistance caves near the Ruins, this house was theirs. It was only, entirely theirs. It belonged to the Sifras family. It was a sculpture, a portrait, an artwork of the Sifras' life.
He sighed.
"They'll come back," he whispered to the dormant flowers, to the cottage. "They'll make you live again. Don't worry. Sleep now. Just sleep and when the spring is here, they'll be home."
It was pitch dark now. He didn't really even know what time it was. Taking a deep breath, he turned, pocketed the keys in his heavy winter coat and walked around the exterior of the cottage, to the silent, dark street outside.
So many of the houses were just like his father's, closed, empty of people, of life. The few families who remained were silent, fearful, disinclined to do anything for anyone. To help anyone. He didn't like it but he supposed that they had a right, as long as they didn't betray anyone to the Circles.
He walked down the street, pulling his coat tight to his frame. It was going to be another freeze tonight and he hated it because it reminded him of Pantocyclus. He loved his little village but tonight, the chill sent dreadful, reluctant memories of his last night in the Capitol surging through his apex.
His birthday fell in the last week of late summer, a day he'd always looked forward to for nineteen years. That one night had changed everything. It had changed his love of his birthday, his relationship with Alistair, his knowledge of the true depths of corruption that some people could sink to; his life. He doubted that he'd ever want to celebrate his birthday ever again in the future.
Maybe when Alistair came back, that day could be his new birthday.
He'd never even been able to open the gifts Alistair had gotten for him, never been able to spend the evening curled up in front of the fire together, making wedding plans and making love until they both fell asleep in each other's arms.
That would have been a pretty good birthday.
No, that would have been the best birthday he could imagine.
Maybe someday, he thought as he walked out of the neighborhood, into the village square, which was just as quiet and shuttered as his old street. Maybe someday when this is all over, Alistair and I, Mom and Dad, Varien, Risa, Daniel, Nan and everyone can be happy again.
Maybe spring would be different. Better. Happier.
Freer.
The Ruins, Cipher's Laboratory
"Bill? Hey, Bill?"
Bill mumbled. "Nah, just need more coffee... I'm not sleepin'."
"No, it's okay, you fell asleep on your desk... again."
"Huh?"
Bill lifted his apex from his desk, blinking around blearily. Nan was leaning over him, concern in her eye.
"Bill, something's come up and we need to ask you something."
"What?"
"Are your folks still at the house?"
"Yeah, they should be at the Kendricks' place-"
"No, at your house."
Bill's eye widened. "What? No. I sent them off to Varien's hours ago!"
"They're not there."
"What do you mean: they're not there?! Where else would they be?"
"Well, Risa called Theus and Dan, looking for them. She thought maybe they'd stopped off there on their way to the house. Your Mom told her they were expecting to be there by dinner time and they didn't show up."
Bill went ice cold.
"Bill?"
"Search party-"
"Already looking," Nan said. "I, uh... we were trying to find you at the same time and you weren't here, then later when I came back, you were. We were worried you'd been with them too-Bill, we're going to find them!"
No. We're not, Bill thought, his Shape beginning to tremble. He looked at Nan.
"I'm going to join the search party-"
"No!" she said firmly, "Bill, we need you here. We can't risk you, you're too important-I-I mean, not that your family isn't, but you can do more good here than out there anyway. Theus is on his way over and Dan's leading the search party. E-even Varien is out helping to look."
VARIEN? "He is?"
"Yeah, as soon as Risa began to panic, Varien seemed to realize she was upset and he forced himself to get up and offered to help. Maybe-"
"God, he can't be out there looking, he's sick!"
"Even so, he's out there with Risa and a bunch of the others. Everyone loves your folks, everyone's worried."
"Nan, oh thank god, you found him!" Theus hurried into the lab with several other Figures behind him. He made his way to the communications equipment and began switching things on. "I have radios on the search party and even the local Militia guys are helping to look. Guy named Redd is helping coordinate with them."
Redd. The Isosceles that had given him advice so long ago.
"He's good people," Bill heard himself saying through a fog, "trustworthy."
"The Secondary school is clear," a voice came over the radio. "Nobody's been here over the winter break, the custodian says he hasn't seen anyone."
"Checked the Sifras' house and street-again." Varien's voice. He sounded like the old Varien, strong, confident, firm. "I can't get the idiots on the street to talk to me."
Bill closed his eye, gritting his teeth.
"We're going to have to start questioning the Circle Militia," he said, "Send someone to Cyclonus' mansion, ask if they know anything."
"Bill..." Nan said, her voice shaking, "a-are you sure?"
"Yeah," Bill said firmly, "if you have people all over the Village and nobody's found them, we don't have a choice."
He tried to still the trembling in his body, the knowing that they wouldn't find his parents... anywhere.
"Oh, Bill."
"He's right," Theus said quietly, "we have to talk to them." He leaned towards the microphone, "Redd, get some guys over to the Prefect's place, start talking to the Circle Militia."
"On our way, sir."
"Maybe we should send Varien?" Nan said, glancing at Bill. "If you think he's well enough?"
"I don't know," Theus said, "he seems alright but... he's connected to Alistair, what if they know about him?" He frowned with his eye.
"Send Daniel," Bill said. "He's a respected teacher in the community. Nobody knows he's part of this and he's my friend. I can't think of anyone better. I-I want to protect Varien. His health isn't the best."
"That's true," Theus said with a sigh. "Daniel? I need you to get a group of people, find Redd if you can and go with him to the Cyclonus mansion. We need to know if they know anything about this, or if they know where-" he swallowed hard, "-the Sifras' have gone."
"Cyclonus? Dad... does that mean you think-?"
"Cipher does."
"Oh god. You found him? Yeah. We will."
"Take some of the Village Militia with you."
"Yes, sir. Dad, tell Cipher, I, uh... I-I'm gonna try."
Theus sat back in his chair and looked at Bill and Nan. He huffed out a great sigh, rubbing his eye a moment.
"I'm sorry, Bill," he said softly.
Nobody had to ask why he apologized. They all knew.
They weren't going to find Karolis and Louisa in the Village or the Prefecture.
They were gone.
And Bill knew who had them.