Apologies for the long wait, but what can I say? Life can be a hassle sometimes. Also, I've been playing Super Mario 3D All-Stars lately, so yeah...
Mobius was filled with a whole host of bizarre landscapes and regions. There were casinos so large they took up whole islands, oceans with killer whales that preyed on hedgehogs instead of seals, residential and urban roads that lacked speed limits, and who could forget the corkscrews and loop-de-loops built all over the place? Not to mention the occasional floating island; in addition to Angel Island, where Knuckles spent his downtime guarding the Master Emerald (currently absent, as he and the heroes hunted down the scattered shards), there was another isle even higher up in the clouds, known as the Lost Hex. There was no apparent reason as to why this land formation was where it was, but then again, there was quite a lot that was unknown about it, even after Dr. Eggman had discovered the place, and Sonic and Tails had explored it during one of their many adventures. Probably one of the most heart-pounding, high-stakes quests the blue blur had ever embarked on thus far.
It just so happened that the Lost Hex was the current setting for a stakeout mission, led by none other than Bowser Jr. as he surveyed the hovering landmass made of hexagons with the help of the Koopalings. The place seemed quite spacious, with various regions each sporting their own climate, but thankfully, Bowser Jr. had his Junior Clown Car to prevent his legs from tiring out. The same could not be said for the others, however.
"Ugh, must we keep trudging on foot like this? We brought an airship with us for a reason," Ludwig groaned, slouching his shoulders.
"I would complain about this alternate dimension wind damaging my hair, if I weren't bald," Wendy huffed.
"You tell us, Mr. Oldest Sibling," Roy sneered, elbowing his Beethoven-haired brother.
"If you really want answers, then ask Junior. I'm just along for the ride, as always," Ludwig sighed. "To think I could've been second in-command, had King Bowser kept his claws to himself… and now I have to spend the rest of my days looking after the little scamp."
"I know, right? He's not even qualified for the job!" Larry argued. "Only reason the king chose him is because he looks so much like him."
"Then again, he is his only biological child," Iggy adjusted his glasses in a condescending manner. "We were all taken in, remember?"
"Gee, as if we didn't already know that," Lemmy argued. "Y'know—and I'm just spit-balling here—but if we really don't approve of Master Bowser's leadership, is there anything stopping us from revolting?"
"AH HAHAHA! What a crazy idea!"
"The only revolt that'll be going on here will come from me, if you chumps don't knock it off!" Bowser Jr. whipped around, opening the mouth of his Clown Car and revealing a cannon, which he aimed at his cohorts. He also took the time to pull his bib up so it covered his mouth. "So kindly zip it, until we're done here!"
"Yeah, you heard him!" Morton warned his siblings.
"And to answer your question, Ludwig, the reason why we're not riding on the airship is because it would be too difficult to survey the ground from up there. We need to properly stake out this part of Eggman's world and see if there's a suitable spot for a new base so we can initiate our takeov- aagghh!" Bowser Jr. was interrupted by a fireball that landed in his path.
"Junior! Look out!"
Bowser Jr. looked up just in time to see another fireball aimed right at him, which he quickly nullified by breathing out a fireball of his own. Once the smoke cloud cleared, it revealed a mysterious, burly red being standing before the gang. He had large, striped horns that pointed to the sky, a massive underbite, and a cyan ponytail with matching feathery eyebrows, greatly dwarfing his yellow eyes with purple irises. The Koopalings just stared at him in both fear and confusion as he coolly blew off his smoking, clawed hand.
"Well I gotta commend you on that entrance, but I gotta ask, who are you supposed to be?" Junior asked.
"My identity is none of your concern, you impetuous child," the red Zeti replied, his voice a menacing baritone. "But I think the more important question is, what business do you deformed turtles have on my turf?"
"We're the Koopalings!" Larry introduced.
"Only among the highest-ranking of Bowser's minions," Ludwig added, flipping his hair with his hand.
"And the toughest reptiles you'll ever come across," Roy folded his arms with a toothy smirk.
"And I am the leader, Bowser Jr.," Junior not-so-subtly boasted. "And on behalf of the Koopa Troop and its new ally, Eggman Enterprises, we're here to-"
"Eggman?!" the Zeti cut him off. "You're working with that scoundrel of a doctor?!"
"Yeah, what about it?"
"Fool! That man was responsible for enslaving and humiliating my brethren and I, and he even enlisted the help of his own nemesis to do it!"
"Ooh, sounds fun! Maybe we should try it sometime!" Iggy cackled.
"I'd like to see you try. Deadly Six… REPORT!"
Right on cue, five other Zeti leapt onto the scene from a great distance, immediately surrounding their leader and looking ready for a fight.
"Whoa! These guys might be better at jumping than the Mario Bros.!" Lemmy jumped in surprise.
"Alright, Zavok, what do you want now?" a green Zeti grumbled, sporting long hair and a single horn on her temple. "I was just about to take a foot bath."
"Let's hope it has to do with those turtle things… man, I could seriously go for some turtle soup right about now…" an obese, yellow Zeti chimed in, absentmindedly munching on a turkey leg.
"Why does everyone keep saying that?" Wendy muttered.
"They might not look so appetizin' after I beat 'em to a pulp!" a lanky magenta Zeti with a purple mohawk cackled, speaking in a Cajun accent.
"Can we just get this over with, so I can go back to brooding?" a white Zeti with neon purple hair and black fingerless gloves sighed, caressing a light blue rose as he slouched.
"Silence! Now, I trust you called us for an important reason?" said a tiny blue Zeti with a white mustache, brandishing a wooden staff.
"Many thanks, Master Zik," Zavok nodded, before he pointed a clawed finger outward at the Koopalings. "Now, destroy those intruders!"
"I call the frumpy one," Zeena taunted.
"Ohhhh no, she didn't!" Wendy yelped, readying her wand.
"Let's get 'em!" Morton pumped his fists.
"Show 'em who they're messing with!" Roy rammed a fist into his palm.
"Alright, Koopalings! On my mark… get set-" Bowser Jr. raised an index finger.
"CHAAAAARRRRRGGGGGEEEEE!" Zazz shouted, effectively cutting him off.
With that, the two clans ganged up on each other as a massive showdown began. Given the plentiful amounts of space in which to fight, the groups ultimately decided to split up, resulting in a slew of scattered, smaller battles. Ludwig and Zor chose to focus on attacking each other, although the latter seemed far less enthusiastic about it. In addition to jumping long distances, his abilities seemed to include firing off purple energy blasts from his hands, levitation, and the creation of shadowy body doubles that boasted the same powers. Ludwig was able to fight back with some blue magic blasts, which came with homing properties, and with his abilities to flutter jump and create doubles of himself, he was easily able to keep up with Zor during their confrontation, resulting in an evenly-matched fight. Easy to see why he was leader material among the Koopa Troop.
"Just give up already, will ya'?" Zor moaned, taking out one of his opponent's doubles with an energy blast. "No matter which of us prevails, it won't make any meaningful difference… well, aside from the wonderful pain that'd coarse through me if you win."
"Hmph, I have no time to listen to your sob stories," Ludwig turned up his snout, firing off a slew of homing shots from his wand.
"Yeah, that's right. Keep being happy and messing up this world for the rest of us. People like you make me sick- Oof!"
Zor was cut off as every shot hit him, launching him into the air before his blackened body hit the ground with a thud. He weakly lifted his head up, but there was little he could do for when Ludwig curled into his shell and rammed right into his face, knocking him unconscious. The latter then got back to his feet, snobbishly adjusting his hair as he called off his clones and strutted away.
As the lone female members of their respective groups, Wendy and Zeena took their catfight to another part of the Lost Hex. The former used her wand to conjure up golden rings that bounced off whatever they hit, mixed in with the occasional shell dash; while the latter mostly fought back with martial arts and acrobatics. For a while, the fight didn't seem very one-sided, until Wendy managed to stomp on Zeena's toes with her high heel, making her squeal and recoil in pain.
"Aaagghh! Darn it! You'd better not have chipped my nails, you reptilian freak! Or so help me-"
"You're wearing yellow eye-shadow, and you're calling me the freak?!" Wendy spat, firing off another ring which managed to ensnare her opponent. She then leapt on top and started whacking her over the head with her wand. "Please. I'd laugh, if it didn't run the risk of making my mascara run."
In her rage, Zeena summoned enough upper body strength to break free from her golden imprisonment, but was unable to land another hit as Wendy leapt far backwards. While her opponent was slowly sitting up, she revved up a shell dash and rammed full speed at her. But she wasn't prepared for when Zeena grabbed her with a neon green energy whip, which she summoned from her hand. She slammed her around on the ground a few times, leaving her stunned as a result.
"Like heck I'm gonna lose to a girl who tries to rock the shaved head look!" she snarled with a smirk, conjuring another energy whip from her free hand which she was about to hit her trapped rival with.
Circling back to a certain pair of lanky lunatics, this particular battle appeared to be more of a race than a fight. Iggy busied himself sprinting after Zazz, attempting to slow him down with some green magic blasts, which were promptly dodged with some wild-looking stunts. The latter fought back by laying down some purple energy tacks, scattering them along the ground for his opponent to avoid. It was then that Iggy got a bright idea, curling into his shell. While such an ability was shared among all the Koopalings, Iggy by far was the most skilled at it, not only being the fastest shell-dasher, but also being able to home in on his enemies with ease. He plowed through the rows of projectiles left behind and managed to make Zazz stumble by ramming into him. Before he could fight back, Iggy popped back out and readied his wand.
"Heh heh heh, let's see if he'll see this coming," he chuckled, watching as the glowing tip switched from green to red, firing off a Lava Bubble which hit his opponent's rear, catching him on fire as he shrieked and flailed around.
"That was a dirty trick!" Zazz growled, having doused the flames by rolling on the grass. "Gotta give ya' props, though. You're even stronger than Sonic- gloomph!"
But Iggy just put on a cocky smirk as he shot another fireball into his opponent's mouth, causing him to burp smoke and flames as he cried out in agony. While he was stunned, he found himself assaulted by more green magic and ramming attacks.
"Aw man, why am I forced to fight the old guy?!"
That whining came from Lemmy, who still stood on top of his circus ball as he and Master Zik stared each other down.
"Now now, no need to go easy on me. Age is nothing but a number," Zik replied, before shutting his eyes and raising his staff.
It seemed that he had some magic abilities of his own, as he was able to summon a giant watermelon, which he stood on in order to equal his rival in height. He quickly surrounded himself with a whole slew of much smaller, assorted fruit, prompting Lemmy to ready his wand.
"Wow, Kamek's got nothing on this guy…"
"Are we going to stand here and talk, or shall we begin?"
"You don't need to tell me twice!"
With that, Lemmy started to conjure up some bouncy balls from his wand, hurtling them towards his opponent. These managed to destroy the smaller fruit that were used as a counterattack, but were ultimately dodged as Zik flipped over them. The latter attempted to fight back with a blue energy blast from his hand, but all it did was bounce off of the former's ball and smack him in the face, knocking him to the ground. He then readied a rubbery bomb, presumable to destroy the giant fruit, but then a cyan magic blast flew in from out of nowhere and did it for him, exploding its pulp all over its downed creator. Larry immediately leapt into the fray, nailing Master Zik with a few more magic blasts.
"Hey, what the heck man? This was my fight!" Lemmy groaned.
"Well there are only six of them, and eight of us, so some of us had to pair up," Larry shrugged.
"Ugh, you owe me big time…"
"Relax, dude. If it makes you feel better, you can land the final hits."
Shrugging in defeat, Lemmy built up some momentum and used the added weight of his circus ball to stomp down on Master Zik a handful of times.
In another spot, the two heaviest Koopalings decided to team up in order to take on the heaviest of the Deadly Six. Roy and Morton kicked the fight off by performing a simultaneous ground pound, only to appear shocked as Zomom completely shrugged off the attack.
"I'm not really sure what that was, but it's good to know you two'll make for a heavy meal!" the yellow Zeti let out an obnoxious belch.
He then proceeded to spin around in place with his arms out in a T-pose, forming a cyclone that started to pursue Roy and Morton. The two quickly hurried off as quickly as their stubby legs could carry them, but both ended up getting caught and thrown a good distance away. With enough room to spare, Roy pulled out a handheld Bill Blaster, which he slung over his shoulder and flung a few Bullet Bills at the oncoming Zomom. These ended up knocked away by his spinning arms, and even when he stopped spinning, the projectile that hit his stomach ended up harmlessly bouncing off him. Undeterred, Zomom continued to sprint over towards them, shaking the ground in the process as he held out his thick arms.
"Ooh boy, I wonder what you guys taste like!"
In self-defense, Roy hid in his shell and spun around, hurting his opponent's hands when he attempted to pick him up. While he was wailing in pain, he left his mouth wide open, allowing Roy to roll inside and brutally attack his insides with a series of ramming attacks. Morton took the opportunity to ram into his feet with a shell-dash of his own, knocking him onto his back as his body rippled from Roy's attacks. The latter then popped out of his mouth, giving Morton the chance to stun him by whacking his face a few times with a large, magic-filled hammer.
And finally, the two clans' leaders were busying themselves with their own brawl. It started off simple, with Bowser Jr. tossing several Mechakoopas and Bob-Ombs at Zavok, who effortlessly punched through them with brute force. He fought back by shooting some fireballs from his palm, but these were dodged. After they both decided they'd been playing chicken for long enough, they resorted to hand-to-hand combat, with Bowser Jr. countering Zavok's physical strikes via the mechanical arms sprouting from his Junior Clown Car, adorned with boxing gloves. The latter had to admit he was impressed with how well the Koopa Prince was keeping up with him, but then he looked down at his hands and noticed them typing furiously at a control panel.
"Interesting…"
Managing to knock Bowser Jr. back with a lurking roundhouse kick, Zavok placed two fingers on his forehead, causing the air around him to ripple for a bit. His opponent just looked on in confusion, wondering what he was up to, before his Clown Car started to tremble on the spot for a bit. The shaking quickly stopped as its owner regained control, immediately realizing what was going on.
"Ah, I see you're having a bit of trouble there," he taunted. "Well, I hate to break it to ya', but this thing's manually controlled. Tee-hee!"
He took the opportunity to pull out his magic paintbrush and spray some multicolored goop into Zavok's eyes, momentarily distracting him and leaving him open to a flurry of blows from his robotic boxing gloves.
"Impudent turtle! I don't need to manipulate magnetic fields in order to defeat you!" Zavok threatened, crouching down and dragging one foot along the ground a few times.
He then rushed forward, readying a powerful headbutt. Bowser Jr. attempted to stop him with some cannonballs from his car's mouth, but these had no effect. He was only barely able to hover over him, but still ended up caught as Zavok abruptly halted and caught him in one hand by the propeller. He then ripped it off, immobilizing the Clown Car, which was promptly destroyed by a turquoise laser fired from his mouth. Bowser Jr. clumsily fell out onto the grass, unable to fight back against the powerful fist that landed right on his skull, hammering him into the ground so he couldn't move. Finally having the upper hand, Zavok quickly spun around and knocked his opponent away with a powerful tail swipe.
Bowser Jr. crashed into a stone wall, limply flopping onto his stomach as he slowly got up, whimpering from the blows he'd taken. It was then that an ominous midnight purple conch shell dislodged itself from the wall, presumably from the impact, and landed in his hands. Before he could take the time to examine it, he quickly found himself blanketed by Zavok's demonic shadow. The leader of the Deadly Six initially had a cocky smirk on his face, but this quickly evaporated in favor of a rare look on fear.
"What is it?" Bowser Jr. asked, cautiously walking over to the retreating Zeti. He then looked down at the shell in his hand, immediately putting two and two together. "Oh, you mean this?"
It was then that he adopted another one of his mischievous smiles.
"Ooh, so all it took was a measly shell to get you to back off? Well now, talk about pathetic."
"B-Be quiet!" Zavok balled a fist, only to let out a blood-curdling scream as the Koopa Prince blew into the conch.
The sound was so loud that it reverberated throughout the island, halting everyone in their tracks. While it didn't have an effect on any of the Koopalings, it seemed to be causing a lot of pain for the Deadly Six, making them recoil and cry out in agony. Even Zor and Master Zik, who had been knocked unconscious during their fights, quickly woke up in pain as a result. With everyone stunned, the Koopalings had officially gained the upper hand, gathering all their opponents into one spot and surrounding them, all the while Bowser Jr. continued to blow into the conch to keep them from retaliating.
"Unngghh… please, please make it stop!" Zazz moaned.
"You're making me hangry!" Zomom grumbled, holding his stomach.
"This cannot be good for my hair!" Zeena cried.
"Ah yes, keep doing it…" Zor smiled for once.
"Ooh, all this agony is too much for my old body to handle," Master Zik groaned.
"Alright, fine! We surrender!" Zavok yelled.
"Oh, really?" Bowser Jr. inquired, ceasing his blowing.
"Yes, really! Look, what is it you wanted from us anyway?"
"We were just sent here to scout out this dimension," Larry explained.
"Haha yeah, so we can help Bowser take it over!" Iggy added.
"And hopefully we'll get a chance to fight that Sonic sometime," Morton added with a grin.
"Sonic?" Zavok raised his eyebrows.
"Yes, apparently he's Mario's new ally," Ludwig nodded.
"What, you know him?" Bowser Jr. asked.
"I wish I didn't but yes. He's responsible for encroaching upon our turf and beating us up. He was the first being to ever defeat me in combat!"
"Ah, the good ol' revenge story," Lemmy chuckled. "Well look, if you're so bent on kicking his butt again, then just join us and you'll get your chance."
"Hmmm… fine, we'll join you," Zavok stood up and shook Bowser Jr.'s hand. "And while we're thinking of a new plan, I'd like to learn more about this Mario character…"
"Yeah, and maybe put him outta commission!" Zazz chimed in excitedly.
"All in good time, my foreign friends," Bowser Jr. spoke in his most regal tone. "All in good time…"