Chapter Nine
Abby
It had been almost three weeks since Abby had moved out of the house she had shared with Sam and moved in (temporarily) with Alice. Whilst Abby felt incredibly grateful to Alice for letting her stay, she was anxious to find her own place. She liked Alice's company and she enjoyed living with her, but she needed to move on, and she felt like she couldn't do that without her own place.
She and Alice had pushed lunch back to go and look at apartments after their swim classes.
"You can't stay there. It looks like it's about to collapse." Alice said looking up at the shabby building doubtfully.
"But I can afford it." Abby explained.
"Anyway, I can find something better once I find another job, and then something even better one the divorce is settled." She tried to convince herself it wouldn't be so bad, but Alice was right, it did look like it was about fall down, and it smelled like a drug den.
"No, I am not letting you rent a place here. Why don't you rent like a room? I know it's not ideal, but you could probably find something in a decent building." Alice suggested.
"Rent a room? I'm forty-seven, I don't want to rent a room and live with a bunch of college students." Abby groaned.
"Yeah fair enough, but not this place, let's go get lunch I'm starving, we can take another look at the listings after." Alice suggested, and they made their way back to Abby's car, to drive to the sandwich shop Abby had chosen for lunch.
"So, have you decided what you're going to do yet? You know besides teaching swimming?" Alice asked as she bit into her BLT.
"I don't know, I'm still toying with the 911 dispatcher idea, it's just that's what I did in LA, and it's shift work, I'd probably need to give up teaching swimming." Abby mused, as she a bite of her chicken sandwich.
"Well, would it be the worst thing in the world? I mean you can still swim, you just wouldn't be teaching it." Alice said thoughtfully.
"You do realise we wouldn't be working together anymore?" Abby replied.
"Yeah, but I was thinking of finding something else, like an evening during the week to free up my Saturday mornings anyway. Besides I make pretty decent money at the kindergarten. And we can still go for lunch." Alice said.
"Hmm, I'll look in to it. It's frustrating, I worked so hard to get away from everything about my life in LA, but I just can't think of anything else I'd rather do." Abby sighed.
They headed back to Alice's after lunch and spent most of the afternoon looking at apartments online, trying to find one that Abby both liked and could afford to rent. She'd decided not to buy anything until after the divorce. Sam didn't seem to be pushing back, so she hoped it wouldn't drag on for too long. She knew it could take a few months, but without any problems, it should be pretty straight forward – quick and almost painless.
Alice was out that evening. She had a date with the uncle of one of the kid's in her class.
"Isn't that really awkward? Dating one of the kids' uncles?" Abby had asked.
"No, it's not like I'm dating their dad. That would be awkward." Alice said, flipping her blonde hair over one shoulder, then the other, whilst she held up a red dress in front herself.
She'd eventually settled on a dark green dress instead of red and booked an Uber.
Abby settled herself in the den, with a bottle of Riesling and an avocado salad. She was halfway through some reality show she was half watching, when her phone pinged. She looked down and was surprised to see it was Carla. Abby and Carla had kept in touch after she'd returned from Europe. Carla came to her and Sam's wedding and Abby had been to Carla's 45th Birthday, delighted that it had been a destination celebration in Hawaii, so she hadn't had to revisit LA. Sam hadn't accompanied Abby to Hawaii and she now wondered if he'd taken advantage of Abby being away and spent that weekend laughing at her with his piece on the side. She opened her WhatsApp messages.
Heard something interesting about Buck. Call me.
Abby hoped it didn't have anything to do with Vegas, but she needed to find out, so she muted the TV and hit call.
"Hey girl! How are you?" Carla's voice sounded eager on the other end of the receiver.
"Ugh that is a complicated question, I'll explain later, what's up? Is Buck okay?" Abby didn't feel like explaining the whole situation with Sam right now, she also wanted to know what was going on with Buck.
"He's fine, it's just, I had to share this with someone and you were the first person I thought might be even remotely interested." Carla explained.
"Right, so what is it?" Abby asked.
"Okay, so a bit of backstory; Buck started dating this girl, not long after your wedding – I think. Anyway, he got engaged to her and they're due to get married next week." Carla began. Abby could not for the life of her understand why Carla thought Abby would want to know about Buck's new relationship.
"Right, well good for him." Abby said.
"No, that's not it. I can't really believe Eddie didn't mention this before. But anyway, so three weeks ago he had his bachelor party in Vegas." Abby felt her blood run cold. Had Buck told Eddie and then Eddie had told Carla? Carla continued.
"And apparently Buck cheated on his fiancée – in Vegas." Carla finished.
"Oh right, so back to his old ways then I guess?" Abby said. She was a little confused, did Carla not know that it was in factAbbythat Buck had cheated on his fiancée with?
"Don't you see what this means?" Carla asked excitedly.
"That Buck didn't really change when he met me after all?" Abby asked, she was pretty sure that was the only take away from this story.
"Well, you're the only woman he's ever stayed faithful to." Carla said like it was the most obvious thing in the world.
"Carla, in fairness we don't know that he stayed faithful to me." Abby pointed out.
"No, listen, when he was with you. He didn't sleep with anyone else, you were together all the time, he was head over heels for you. Even after you went to Europe, he stayed faithful right until the end." Carla paused before she continued.
"But Eddie says when they were in Vegas, he went and slept with some girl." Carla explained.
Abby felt a bit hurt. Some girl. It was clear Carla did not know it was Abby that Buck had slept with, but had she really been described as just some girl?
"Some girl? So, he just slept with a random girl?" Abby asked trying not to sound hurt.
"Yeah I think so. I was watching Christopher, and Eddie came home from work saying how lucky Buck was, and I asked why. He said Buck's fiancée had forgiven him, after he told her he'd slept with some girl in Vegas." Carla explained.
"Oh, I see." Abby knew it was silly of her to feel hurt. Buck had obviously just slept with her because he was drunk. Clearly it hadn't meant anything to him, why would he make things worse for himself by bothering to mention that they had even known each other before. But at the same time, she had thought that she might be more than just some girl to him. As angry as she was that he hadn't told her he was engaged, it had meant something to her. It had almost felt like it had before Europe. When they were together.
"You okay? You sound kind of sad? You don't need to do anything with it, but I thought you might find it interesting." Carla sounded a little concerned. She hadn't expected the news to upset Abby.
"No, it's not that…it's just that…I…it's nothing." Abby burst into tears. She hadn't meant to and she wasn't sure if it was the third glass of wine or the frustration of being effectively homeless, but she couldn't seem to stop herself.
"Abby, I didn't mean to make you sad. I know you're not into gossip, but I thought maybe as it was Buck, you might be interested. I mean I know you have Sam now and all, I…I'm sorry." Carla obviously had no idea what had really upset Abby.
"No Carla, really, that's not it. It's just that, it was me. The girl in Vegas, it was me." Abby sobbed down the phone. Carla didn't say anything for at least thirty seconds. Had she not been crying so hard, Abby would've begun to question if Carla was still there.
"What do you mean it was you? You met Buck in Vegas? Had sex with him?" Carla asked her, dumbfounded.
"I didn't know he was engaged, at least not until after, and I had just found out Sam had been cheating on me that day. I had gone to stay at Matt's but we argued and so I went to a hotel, and then suddenly he was there and we talked, and I don't know, we kind of just ended up in my hotel room. But I just didn't realise that I had become just some girl to him." Abby composed herself exactly long enough to explain to Carla what had happened before dissolving into tears again.
"Oh, I'm so sorry. I didn't know. You know, I'm sure that he doesn't think of you as just some girl." Carla tried soothingly.
"Obviously he does, why else would he tell Eddie that? Didn't you say they were like best friends?" Abby asked, still crying.
"Yeah, but maybe he was worried his fiancée would react badly if she found out he slept with you – I mean you're his ex. Perhaps it was just easier to pretend it was just a one night stand." Carla tried to reason. This made Abby cry even harder.
"It was a one night stand. It clearly meant nothing to him. I mean I didn't exactly tell him that Sam and I had broken up, but I said we were going through a rough patch, but he didn't say anything about being engaged. I never would've slept with him if I'd known he was engaged." Abby continued to sob.
"I don't know Abby, I mean, this is Buck. He's not a bad guy, and he loved you, I don't think it meant nothing. Have you tried calling him?" Carla asked.
"No, when he told me the next morning, I was so angry, I asked him to leave, and I can't imagine he wants to stay in touch, not if he's getting married." Abby's sobs were beginning to subside.
"Okay, well I'm not going to force you to call him this time, but you might wanna think about it – I mean if you're upset, perhaps he can explain himself." Carla suggested.
"I can't, not after Europe. I mean I basically vanished, and then I didn't even call him or anything for two years. As far as he's concerned, I probably deserve this." Abby felt worse about this now than she did when she originally found out Buck was engaged. Abby heard Carla sigh before she spoke again.
"You said Sam and you broke up?" She asked tentatively,
"Uh huh. I came home from work early and found him in bed with some teenager from his office." The girl Sam had been sleeping with had gotten progressively younger in Abby's head. She knew she was exaggerating, but since sleeping with Buck had not made her feel better, she hadn't quite shaken the feeling that perhaps Sam had strayed because he wasn't attracted to her anymore.
"Then Sam is a dog, you deserve better girl." Carla insisted.
"I thought so too, but then I went to Vegas, and Matt pretty much took Sam's side and then I met Buck at the hotel and… I've left Sam, I'm staying with Alice, I don't even have my own place. I'm such a mess." Abby was becoming tearful once more as she tried to work through her feelings herself as much as she tried to relay them to Carla. She really did feel like a mess. It wasn't that she regretted leaving Sam or even wanted the relationship back, but she felt disappointed. But it wasn't just disappointment at the situation she now found herself in, but she felt disappointed in herself. Her decision to distance herself from Buck in Europe, reinforced by his letter, and later cemented when she had met Sam, had seemed like the right thing to do. She was so sure, leaving LA and Buck was what she needed. Sam had been the perfect way out. He had been charming and successful, but he was also nearer to her age. She'd told herself this was the right thing, being with Sam, moving to Phoenix. Plus, he had kids already, she didn't need to worry about him wanting kids with her, a possibility that hadn't escaped her notice with Buck.
It wasn't that Abby had never wanted to have kids. Before her mom got sick she could see herself as a parent with Tommy. But Tommy had always said 'not yet'. When her mom got sick, she had been forty, but still thought, maybe someday. But Tommy had broken up with her the week after her birthday, citing their lives were going in different directions, that if he wanted a family, he needed to be with someone who would make him a priority before they ran out of time. She'd been heartbroken to give up on the idea. As her mom got worse she began to feel more secure in the idea that perhaps having a child wasn't such a good idea.
"You deserve a man who will treat you like a queen girl! If Sam can't deliver – you're right to cut him loose." Carla insisted. Carla always insisted Abby had deserved happiness – she'd been the same with Buck, pushing Abby to call him in the first place. She'd been sad when Abby had chosen not to return to LA but she'd been happy for her when Abby had called her to tell her, excitedly, that Sam had asked her to marry him.
"It's not that I miss Sam, not really, I mean we hadn't been, like we were before for months, but I feel like I just messed everything up. I mean I had to leave LA – you know to find out who I was – but then I just, lost myself somewhere else. It's like I have no identity, it's always so wrapped up in someone else – my mother, Buck, Sam." Abby explained.
"Abby, you are smart and sexy, you can be with whoever you want and you can do whatever you want right now. Work it out and do that. And if it's in Phoenix, then stay in Phoenix – but if it's not in Phoenix, then move." Carla insisted.
Carla and Abby talked for a while longer. Carla mostly trying to bring Abby round to looking at the situation as more of an opportunity, than the roadblock Abby had built it up as. By the time Alice arrived home that evening, Abby had stopped crying but her eyes were still rimmed red and Alice could tell something was up.
"Oh hey, how was your date?" Abby asked, when Alice walked into the den, wrestling a heel off her right foot and dropping it down on the floor, several feet away from the left one, she'd removed by the door.
"Yeah, good, I'll see him again – what is the matter with you. You look like you've had a rough night. Did Sam call or something?" Alice asked, she grabbed a glass from the kitchen and joined Abby with the wine on the sofa.
Abby explained Carla's phone call and about Buck describing her as 'some girl'.
"I know I don't know the guy, but from what you've told me, I'm with Carla on this one. He probably just said 'some girl' as to not make things worse with his fiancée. Although I am kind of surprised they're still getting married. I mean you left Sam." Alice said.
"I guess it's different when you don't witness it first-hand." Abby said flatly. She wasn't especially curious over why Buck's fiancée had been so quick to forgive him. She supposed it didn't really matter.
"Yeah, but I mean, if he was really in such a perfect relationship, I mean if they were, you know 'meant to be', then why did he sleep with you?" Alice pointed out.
"Oh I don't know, but it doesn't matter, it's done, he's getting married, there's nothing I can do about it." Abby sighed, leaning forward, running a hand through her hair before flopping back against the sofa.
"But do you want to do something about it?" Alice asked her seriously. Abby was silent for a moment. It hadn't really occurred to her that she may still be entertaining the idea of her and Buck, not since she'd thrown him out of her hotel room in Vegas. He was getting married, he'd moved on. He'd slept with her one last time, but they were long over, at least that was how she had felt until this evening, when she had really thought about it.
"I don't know." She said.