CHAPTER NINE

He woke up feeling groggy, but his head was clearer than it had been for a while.

For the past few days, it was as if he had gone in and out of consciousness and only recalled bits and pieces of what happened. He remembered the feeling of disgusting despair and was disappointed at himself for being so weak. How could he just cave in like that? What a piece of human trash…

He shifted his tired, aching body and noticed how his mattress was moving and letting out the most tantalizing mews.

"R-Rin-chan?" he whispered, not believing any of his senses. He was hearing things that weren't there, seeing someone who couldn't be here, touching someone who would never allow him to touch her like this!

This had to be a dream or hallucination.

None of this could be real!

Again, he shifted and the moment he moved his pelvis, he let out a gasp as realisation hit him hard.

His member was encased in a nice, warm cocoon that was lightly squeezing him, teasing for more milk that he wasn't sure if he still had. "Rin-chan…" He ran his hand through her hair before resting on her flushed cheek. "So beautiful…"

He let out a maniacal string of giggles as he nuzzled his face between her pale, bare breasts. All of his bad luck must've been for this one magnificent moment. The despair was completely gone as he was filled with such delicious, shining hope – the hope that was in the form of a rather short redhead girl who was still mewing like a kitten below him.

"K-Komaeda-kun?" she mumbled, her eyes slowly opened and her face split into a wanton smile. "Do you want more? I feel you inside me… It's moving… It feels so good… Please put more baby making juice inside me, Komaeda-kun!"

He shuddered. The words were so depraved, but he wanted nothing more than to do as she asked. He also knew that he couldn't take advantage of her when she was in this state. Her dark flush was most definitely not just from lust, it was from a fever – the same one that he had for the past few days.

It was his fault she was sick.

Again, he was the cause of misfortune…

"Please, Komaeda-kun, I need you…" She wiggled her lower body in an attempt to cause any form of friction to appease her desires.

With a sigh, he allowed himself to squish her with his weight. Her soft whines and moans were nearly enough to shatter his resolves. "Rin-chan is mean," he mumbled. "Making me all hot and bothered… What am I supposed to do, now? I really, really want to make love to you."

She looked hopefully back at him. "Then please, use me to satisfy your lust. Make me feel good, Komaeda-kun."

How was he supposed to control himself when she was like this? This was clearly cheating! She was a cheater.

"Go back to sleep, Rin-chan," he sighed.

"No!" she protested, pressing her lips against his in a very effective attempt to get him riled up.

He groaned, allowing himself to give in to this one little thing. They had kissed several times already, so surely, there was no harm in this. Just no more beyond it.

When it was over, he just held her until she fell back asleep.

It was only then that he could convince himself to slide out of her. Immediately, he missed being in her warmth, but it was for the best. His self-control was slowly being whittled away.

"You're awake and uh…" Hinata had returned with an embarrassed look on his face. He refused to look at them, instead, opting to keep his gaze out the window. "Are you feeling better, now?"

Komaeda shifted Rin, until she was resting on top of his chest. "Yes, must better. Thanks for visiting us! I recall seeing you here with Rin-chan while I was sick. I guess I must've infected her with the Despair Disease. I'm glad I haven't done the same to you. Sewage dump like me is really not good for anything but causing trouble for others…"

Hinata shook his head. "It's not your fault. I'm sure Monokuma had something to do with this too. Tsumiki-san has also caught it. Hers was the Remembering Disease and it made her… It made her kill both Mioda and Saionji for her "beloved" – whatever that means."

"Hm…" That was truly interesting. What kind of person was the Ultimate Nurse if regaining her memories turned her into a murdering maniac?

"How is she? We don't have a nurse anymore and Monokuma refuses to help."

That would just be his luck, wouldn't it? Give him something good and then threaten to take it all away. He just had to keep hoping that Rin-chan wouldn't end up like everyone else he cared for. She was the most precious person to him and losing her was not an option.

Hinata plopped down on to the armchair, rubbing his eyes. "I'm sorry I interrupted yesterday. I was coming here to get you guys for the class trial, but since you were both sick, Monokuma allowed an exception for your absences.

"I see…" Komaeda looked down at the slumbering girl who was quietly dozing on top of him. "I'm sure neither of us would've minded yesterday. Now? Well… Why don't you come here and fine out, Hajime-kun?" He smiled teasingly at the brunet.

"Huh?!" The poor boy looked about ready to melt into a puddle of goo. "D-Don't joke about something like that!"

"Who said I was joking?" he chuckled, enjoying the way the other male was in distress.

An hour later, she stirred, again. He was interrupted from his reading when her hand wandered downward to grip him firmly. He instinctively buckled his hips and clenched his eyes shut.

No…

He couldn't allow this.

This was wrong.

Rin-chan was not in her right mind and therefore could not consent, so he shouldn't –

"Komaeda-kun…"

He felt something wet hit his nipple and let out a tortured gasp. His eyes snapped back open to see her drooling above him.

"N-No, Rin-chan…" he squeaked.

He wasn't exactly sure what the denial was for – whether to tell her to stop or that he could no longer hold himself back.

She went up for a kiss first. Her hand stroking him in a way that made him gasp in pleasure.

Hinata started noticing something strange and looked at them with a frown on his face. "Komaeda…"

"I want to ask for your help to stop her, but if I really wanted to, I could've done it myself." Komaeda's hand was already roaming up and down her body, enjoying the soft curves beneath his hands. "You don't understand how good she feels," he groaned as she straddled his hips and slid him into her.

Her hot heat was clamped so decadently around him.

From then on, his mind was hazy with lust.

What was she going to think of him when she realised that he had practically raped her while she was sick? It was only right if she shouted at him and demanded he never touch or even see her again. He was even lower than trash.

But he really didn't want to think about it right now. Everything felt too good.

She began to bounce on top of him, moaning and mewing.

Oh, how she was driving him mad…

"Hinata-kun…" He reached out a hand towards the brunet who was still trying his best to ignore what was happening, but also decided to stay in the room, this time.

Komaeda knew Hinata had some sort of feelings for them. There could be no other explanation as to why he was still here, secretly watching them fuck. Hinata-kun was a closet pervert…

He threw his head back, laughing at the turn of events. How fun… This game had turned out so much better than he could have ever hoped for.

"Why are you - ?!" Hinata gritted his teeth. Was Komaeda still sick? No, this was the real Komaeda Nagito – unhinged and a terrible amalgamation of hope and despair.

Hinata really didn't know what he was feeling, but he couldn't deny the attraction he had for them. The pair was like two sides of the same coin. They were broken angels scrambling to stay afloat while grasping at anything to remain sane.

"Ne, Hinata-kun… Kiss me… Rin-chan wants Hinata-kun's kiss." She flung her head back to look at him with crazed, lust-filled eyes. Her long, red hair tumbled down her pale back and her bare breasts were on full display for him.

Komaeda smiled at him. "Are you really going to say no to such a cute face, Hinata-kun?"

Her eyes grew wider and her tongue stuck out with drool dripping down the corner of her lips. "Ha… Hajimeee~!"

His feet carried him half way across the room before he stopped himself. "No, this is wrong. She is sick and I won't take advantage of that!"

"As expected from an Ultimate… Very well, I shall allow you to do as you wish," the snowy boy replied, bringing her back against his chest. 'You are a much better man than me, but that much was obvious from the start. I am the trash that longs to be used." He kissed the crown of her head with a content sigh.

At this moment, he was the happiest he had ever been. Rin-chan was riding him as if he was the most important thing in her life and that was the highest compliment she could ever pay to someone so despicably worthless. Even if this was caused by the Despair Disease… He found it impossible to deny her any further. He craved everything that she was willing to give him as if she was the oxygen that was keeping him alive.

To avoid giving into temptation, Hinata had to leave the room again. He was fine, until they wanted him to join them. Of course, he wanted to. If this was any normal situation, he would've been elated at the invitation. As it was, he had to stop it here before it got any further.

It was different from her and Komaeda. They already had an existing relationship. He was only the third wheel, hoping for any second of their attention.

He was really no better than what Komaeda always described himself…

He was trash…

As luck would have it, leaving may have been a mistake. Just hours after, he learned that Rin's condition had taken a turn for the worse and she fell into a coma that left the group speechless. What were they to do? Tsumiki was dead and no one else knew much about nursing.

Komaeda had become a completely wreck, blaming himself for all that had gone wrong. His faded green eyes were clouded with self-hatred and Hinata wanted nothing more than to place the blame on him because he needed someone to be angry at, but that wouldn't be fair. It wasn't Komaeda's fault. The only one they could truly blame was Monokuma and whoever that was behind the devious bear.

Hinata spent long hours by her side, wiping her flushed face with a wet towel, similar to how they had taken care of Komaeda a short day ago.

"Why did this have to happen?" he whispered.

Her condition was similar to Komaeda's lowest point where he was on the brink of death. The Ultimate Lucky student managed to pull through, but… could the Ultimate Unlucky student do the same?

"It's my fault…" Komaeda mumbled as he looked at his hands. "I remember kissing her. That must've been when I infected her with the Despair Disease and I wasn't helping matters by letting her… I should've known better… "

Hinata sighed. "No, you can't blame yourself for this. You were out of your mind at the time. You can't be held responsible for your actions when you were also on the edge of death. Even now, you're not fully recovered, yet. Your fever isn't as high, but you still have a low temperature on you."

Komaeda didn't seem to be too convinced, but didn't both with disputing the statements. He was drowning in guilt, so Hinata walked over to him after dropping the towel into the bowl of water.

"Don't. Just stop it," he snapped, tempted to slap the other boy. "Rin needs you, right now, and all you do is talk about yourself!" His words were harsh, but necessary. The words were meant not only for the white-haired boy, but also for himself. They were both slowly falling into despair, reprimanding themselves for something that neither could control.

Wide, hopefully eyes locked on his.

Komaeda Nagito…

"Ah ha… K-Koma… a…" she let out a soft moan, reaching blindly in her dreams.

…

I groaned, wondering if something had run over me because every part of my body was in pain. What caused this?

The last thing I remembered was tending to a very sick Komaeda and then, I had this terrible headache before everything became a feverish blur. I couldn't seem to make sense of anything in between. It was as if I had been dreaming with only several, short vivid moments.

I had dreamt of being with Komaeda again. I felt like such a pervert. If he ever found out, he'd want nothing to do with me.

"Rin-chan?"

Huh? Why did he sound so close? Was this still a dream?

Opening my eyes, I was greeted immediately by a bare chest. My heart raced as my gaze trailed upward to meet the pale face with the kind smile. "K-Komaeda-kun?"

I didn't understand anything.

When I tried to shift away from him, I noticed something connecting us together and the friction between us made me let out a gaspy moan.

Komaeda sucked in a sharp breath, his face flushed while he regarded me with half-hooded eyes. "Your fever has finally broken. How are you feeling?"

I was afraid to find out what was happening beneath the sheets. This foreign sensation between my legs. "Are we - ? Did we - ?"

A dreamy look filled his face. "Oh, Rin-chan, I had the pleasure of being used by you – to be your stepping stone towards recovery…"

I eventually lifted myself enough to slide him out of me. There was an immediate sense of disappointment and emptiness.

My thoughts were a mess, but I wasn't angry. I was just confused and kind of sad that our first time couldn't have been more memorable, but it seemed that Komaeda surely remembered it.

A sigh came from the right and I saw Hinata covering his face with one hand.

"H-Hinata-kun?!"

I let out a shriek as reality hit me hard and I wrapped myself tightly with the covers. While trying to scramble away from an extremely naked Komaeda, I managed to tangle our legs and I went tumbling over the edge of the bed.

"Rin-chan!"

I curled up into a ball, hiding every part of myself from view.

As I hid, Hinata stuttered his way into telling me everything.

I had contracted the Despair Disease and it had turned me into a whore – he hadn't said it in those words, but the implications were clear. I had propositioned both him and Komaeda. I was so ashamed of myself. How was I to face any of them ever again? This was an absolute disaster!

Komaeda chuckled, lifting me back up into his lap. Fortunately, he had enough decency to don on his black jeans. "Don't worry. As I said, helping you was my pleasure."

"Komaeda!" Hinata scolded.

"Haha! Sorry! Sorry! It's hard to resist when Rin-chan is so cute!" Komaeda was going to be the death of me!

I said nothing and refused to move. I pretended that I did not exist as Komaeda and Hinata argued.

"Ah… There's something else I have to tell you. I know it's a lot, but… There is no good time to say this." I had a feeling what it was regarding, but not who. "Tsumiki also had the Despair Disease. It drove her to… to kill Mioda and Saionji."

Both of them?! Tsumiki killed two people?!

I poked y head out to see his sad, hazel eyes. "They're… really dead?"

He gave me a sad, solemn nod.

Tears welled up in my eyes. Mioda and Tsumiki were so kind and innocent.

Just days ago, Mioda was so excited to perform in her concert and all she ever seemed to want to do was make everyone around her happy. To think that I was never going to see the happy, energetic girl again was almost unthinkable.

And Tsumiki? She always tried to help, despite being clumsy and end up hurting herself in several different occasions. It was because of her dedication to treating the hurt that put her in that position.

Even Saionji and her poor attitude didn't deserve to die. She was only starting to become more comfortable with everyone else, too.

How could merely remembering cause the nurse to commit double homicide? What memory was possible to cause such a change in her behaviour? I wasn't even able to imagine her doing something so terrible!

Wiping my eyes, I slowly stood up. "W-Where are my clothes? I don't want to be here anymore. I'm sick of being in this hospital."

They left the room to give me some privacy as I dressed. Hinata had to drag Komaeda away when the Ultimate Lucky Student offered to help me.

I took my time, going to the washroom to look at myself in the mirror. There were markings all over my body, finger prints and bite marks. I gingerly touched each of them, knowing that it was Komaeda's doing.

A swirl of emotions battled within me.

Of all people, I was glad it was him I latched on to. I wasn't sure how I'd react if it had been anyone else. Even knowing that I had propositioned Hinata didn't feel so bad if Komaeda was there. Just the thought of cheating on him was devastating.

I slowly pulled my skirt on after I realised that my underwear had been shredded. Completely at the mercy of the Despair Disease, how desperate had we been?

Next was the bra with its metal clasps gone. My blouse was a little bit see through, but I may be able to get away with it if no one brought attention to my chest.

I ran my fingers through my hair several times. It was very tangled, so I ended up twisting the tendrils into a messy bun and stabbed a pen through it. That was going to do for now, until I could return back to my cottage to take a thorough shower to get all the sweat and… other sticky substances off my body.

"Okay, you have to face them sooner or later," I whispered at my reflection.

The pale-faced girl stared back at me with a look of uncertainty on her face.

"It's going to be fine. Things might be a bit different between Komaeda-kun and you, but… Things will be fine. He still wants to be with you. He… He might not think you're a slut, but… You can still fix it. You know that it was the Despair Disease that made you this way." I swallowed some of the anxiety down. "It's going to be fine. Everything will be fine."

The face of the white-haired boy remained in my mind.

"Komaeda-kun…" I placed my hand over my chest. Just saying his name made my heart race.

When had I started feeling so strongly for him?

With a sigh, I gave myself several encouraging pats on the cheeks and stepped out to join the two who were waiting for me in the hallway.

They stopped in mid-conversation to face me.

Komaeda-kun…

Hinata-kun…

"Okay, I'm ready, now."

…

I had a warmer greeting than I expected. Sonia grabbed my hand and squeezed it. "I am gladdened to see that you are better!"

"The Dark Gods have been watching over you. Their powers have vanquished the evil forces that threatened your life!" Tanaka agreed, crossing his arms.

Even Souda mumbled something encouraging.

"Yeah!" a robot roared in excitement. "That's the spirit!"

Who was - ?

"Ni… dai-san?" Was that really the team manager? The last I saw, he was barely clinging on to life. Was there a human body inside the robotic suit or was he somehow all electronic now? How did that even make sense? What kind of advanced technology was this?

"Yeah!" he shouted again. "I am more durable than ever!"

He was also louder than ever.

His booming voice was starting to give me a headache, but at least there was one good thing that came out of so much bad news.

I rubbed my eyes, suppressing a yawn. My body was still aching, but I couldn't tell exactly what it was from. Could I still be contagious? I really didn't want to give anyone the Despair Disease, especially when it could do something like make another person kill.

"It's so wonderful seeing all of you Ultimates gather together with such hope!" Komaeda rejoiced. "But Rin-chan is looking pretty tired. I'll take her to the motel for a shower and tucker her into bed."

"Sh-Sh-Sh-Shower?!" Souda exclaimed. "Don't tell me you're going to help her with that?!"

Komaeda grinned cryptically at him. "Well, that's up to Rin-chan, isn't it? I'm merely here for her to use."

"D-Don't say weird things like that!" the mechanic pointed accusingly back at him.

Komaeda merely waved his hands at them, while I leaned tiredly against his side. I didn't even have enough energy to add anything to the conversation.

"Do I have to shower…?" I mumbled. Getting clean suddenly plummeted in my list of priorities. I was on the verge of passing out again and each step I took was harder than the last.

He chuckled, ruffling my hair affectionately. 'As much as I love you, you stink of sweat and sex."

My face went bright red. "D-Don't say it l-like that!"

Ugh! I wasn't sure how I was ever going to get past what we had done. Everyone knew I was a sex-crazed monster when I was sick.

And…

And…

I froze.

"L-Love…?" I whispered.

"Hm?" He tilted his head. "Does it disgust you to be loved by – "

I raised to my tippy toes and pulled him into a kiss.

His eyes went wide before his pale cheeks glowed pink.

"I really like you, too, Komaeda-kun. I don't know if it's really love yet because I'm not sure I understand what love is, but… you're the one I don't ever want to let go," I confessed, glad that we were no longer in range of curious eyes. "But…"

"But?"

I looked to the side. If I admitted it, would it push him away?

"Is it about Hinata-kun? Mister Ultimate Scatterbrain?"

Something must've shown on my face because he continued on. "Let's talk about him another time."

Was he angry? I wasn't even sure when Hinata showed up on my radar. Was it when he helped me take care of Komaeda? Or perhaps as early as when he tried to defend me during the first class trial? Somewhere along the way, I found myself wanting a little more than just friendship, but the feeling still paled in comparison to how I felt about Komaeda. It felt so wrong to feel this way – to be so greedy.

"Okay."

It was best not to dwell on it when my brain was still a mess.

In the end, Komaeda waited on my bed as I took a nice, warm bath that helped to soothe all the aches and pains.

When I was done, I found that he had dozed off on top of the covers, his hair spread out beneath him. It blended almost perfectly into the white pillow case.

He was so beautiful…

I smiled, running my hand through his fluffy locks. "Komaeda-kun…"

Pausing, I whispered, "Nagito-kun…"

I really wanted to address him more intimately now that he said he loved me. Would he be alright with that?

I laid down beside him and placed my head on his chest, listening to the rhythmic beast that calmed every nerve in my body.

A hand began to trail down my body and his face nuzzled into my hair. "Ah… Rin-chan smells so good…"

Oh! He was still awake?

"S-Stop!" I blushed.

He laughed. "I'm so happy Rin-chan still wants to be with me even when she's not sick anymore."

I huffed. "Go to sleep, Komaeda-kun."

He hummed, burying his face deeper into my hair. "Say it, again…"

"Say what?"

"My name."

"Komaeda-kun?"

"No, my other name."

"N-Nagito-kun…?"

"Again."

"Nagito-kun…"

How could I sleep now when my heart was pounding like this?

He moved his hand to stroke my back. "I really, really love you, Rin-chan. You are my hope."

"And you're mine, Nagito-kun. Now, go to sleep. M-My heart can't take it anymore."

He giggled, but fell silent after. He continued his calming rub, until my eyes drooped shut and I fell into a peaceful slumber.