After the worst scolding of her life Morgana felt like she had gotten off relatively free. She was confined to her room under armed guards for a night and was to be accompanied by a guard wherever she went. Morgana felt like it was a slight overkill, but she had to keep Uther at bay. He had been ready to hang Merin when Arthur had explained Morgana had gone to see him. Arthur had managed to calm him down and Morgana came up with an excuse, one that made no sense but placated her father all the same.
A week after she had returned from her escapade, she found herself summoned to Arthurs quarters. He had ordered he guards to leave so that he could have a private conversation with his sister. So, Morgana settled on the edge of Arthurs bed and looked at him expectantly.
"Morgana I usually try to give you space however this is important, what is your relationship with my manservant?" he asked. Morgana sighed and rolled her eyes
"He is my friend Arthur, much like he is yours" Arthur looked down. He knew something was going on, it had to be.
"Morgana, you left the castle to find him. It seems that whatever you feel is more than friendship"
"What I felt is momentary lapse in sanity Arthur, I do not love Merlin, he Is nothing but a servant" her heart broke slightly with each word, Merlin was so much more than that. She just wished she could shout it from the rooftops, but she knew Merlin's position with Arthur and his life were on the line. Arthur sighed again and stared his sister straight in the eye.
"Just… just be careful"
"Why, why brother dear. Are you worried for a servant, I never thought I'd see the day" Arthur tensed.
"Morgana I am serious, Merlin is good man, but his heart is far bigger than his brain. You may not love him, but it is clear he is infatuated with you, please do not lead him astray. Good servants are hard to find" a lump formed in her throat. Arthur was right, she had led Merlin into a dangerous game by loving him.
"I promise Arthur… he is just a friend" she then left her brother behind.
Not a week later she sent a letter to Merlin with Gwen saying that whilst she loved him their love was too dangerous, and their courting must end.
Two months after their breakup found Morgana in the forest stood across from a blonde. She knew she shouldn't be there; it was what made Merlin leave in the first place. Yet her sister offered something so tantalizing. A way for her and Merlin to be together. As she had put it if Uther was dead then either Morgana or Arthur would ascend to the throne and could pass new bylaws. Bylaws that made it okay for a servant and a princess or queen to marry. The offer was tantalizing, and Morgana was tempted to accept. She wanted to accept but she could feel the darkness washing the air whenever her sister spoke. She listened and tried to placate her sister, saying she would think about it, Morgause seemed to be placated for the meantime.
It was when she returned to the castle that she decided to do something she had wanted to do for two months. See Merlin.
When Merlin answered the door, she felt relief enter her system, two months was a long time. It wasn't like they really spoke in that time either, Morgana had tried to stay as far away from him as she could.
"Uh... how may I help you my lady?" he asked. Morgana cringed at the professionalism he exuberated.
"I was wondering if we could talk?" Merlin looked hesitant, not that Morgana blamed him. He had tried to talk to her about everything, but she had always brushed him off.
"Are you sure that's smart?" he asked. Morgana bit her lip
"Maybe not however I really need to talk to you" Merlin sighed but let her in. She settled upon a chair has he poured her a refreshment.
"What do you want Morgana?" he asked, she flinched at the coldness in his voice. In fact, now that she really looked at him, she realised just how tired he looked, his eyes were shrunken, and his skinny frame was smaller than usual.
"What on earth happened to you?" she asked. Merlin waved his hand slightly and sniffled
"I have been running around none stop, Artur and I have just returned from a quest and I have not had time to bath or sleep." He murmured. Morgana began to feel guilty; she had heard about Arthurs quest, it wasn't easy. Most of the nights came back with some form of Ailment and Arthur had been taken to the infirmary with a broken arm. She had not realised Merlin was with him however, she scanned him for injuries. Merlin smiled at her warmly
"I am okay Morgana, a few cuts and bruises but okay" Morgana smiled, embarrassed at being caught.
"I am sorry Merlin… I did not wish to break up I just did not know what else to do. Arthur had become suspicious and I just…" Merlin placed a hand on her shoulder.
"It is okay... I… I do not blame you. It was either we stay together and get found out or stay apart and keep me alive. You did what I was not strong enough to do Morgana… I do not blame you" Morgana felt a weight lift off her shoulders.
"However, you mentioned Morgause... what has she done now?" he asked with bated breath. Morgana looked down, ashamed.
"I never was honest with you… she never stopped communicating with me… she's my sister and I thought that maybe I could show her the things you showed me." When Merlin said nothing in reply Morgana began to panic, last time he left. What he would do now would be anyone's guess. After a minute or two Morgana feared he would never reply. So, she dared look up, to find his blue iris's swimming with emotion that she could not identify.
"I know" he eventually said. Morgana reeled back, a hurt look on her face. He knew how evil Morgause was and yet he let the woman he was supposed to love face the witch on her own.
"You knew?" she asked incredulously. Merlin nodded shamefully
"Well not definitely but I had a hunch… she was communicating with me to" Merlin suddenly took a step back, his face agitated.
"How could you not tell me Merlin? Morgause is someone we both need to be wary of!" she argued. Merlin scrunched up his face.
"Well forgive me Morgana, the last time she was here you left me to rot in chains! I never was sure of where your loyalties lay!" he seethed. Morgana took a step back, shame on her face. He was right of course he was right, before he left Morgana had gone far darker than she had intended. Her lust for power and titles clouded her love.
"I know… I'm sorry" she whispered. She took a step forward to try and offer him some reassurance, but he took a step back, causing a pang of hurt to jolt through her.
"Are you?" he asked. Morgana reeled back, like a caged animal.
"Yes! How can you even ask me that? Merlin when you left, I broke, why do you think I went to find you! Look I am sorry I was tempted okay? Do you have any idea what it's like, I am Uther's ward and whilst I am here, he is a threat!"
"Morgana did you just ask me that? I have had these powers my entire life! My entire exitance is a crime so yeah, I bloody well understand. I don't care that you followed her, of course you did I understand that I was tempted to." A silence descended upon the pair.
Morgana stared upon her beloved with wide eyes.
"You were?" she asked, perplexed. Merlin was duty above all, even her. He was probably a bigger noble prat than Arthur.
"Then why didn't you take her offer? We could have been together… free of all this" she looked down, tears pooling in her eyes. A moment later she felt a pair of muscled arms engulf her.
"We wouldn't have been free…. We would have had the murder of an entire kingdom on our hands. That is not freedom and it would only enforce what Uther has been saying." Morganas shoulders slumped; Merlin was right. Of course, he was, when was he wrong?
After a moment she pulled away
"What do we do Merlin? This is all a big mess" Merlin smiled at her sadly, he knew that the future would not be easy.
"I guess for now… we play her game. Let her think she has you eating out of her hand."
"That's not what I meant" she said. Merlin looked at her, confused before realisation clicked in his brain.
"I do not know… I love you Morgana but… you left me and then broke up with me…"
"I also ran away to bring you back" she reminded him. Merlin chuckled quietly
"Yes… there is also that" he quipped. Morgana bit her lip.
"How about this… we take it one day at a time. I think our wounds still need to heal but I think that maybe… maybe we can sort out whatever this is." He eventually looked down to meet her doe like eyes. His stomach jumped; it truly was unfair for such beauty to exist.
"Would I be to… bold as to ask for a kiss?" she asked. Merlin ran a hand through his hair.
"When have you ever needed permission to be bold?" he asked, eyebrow arched. Morgana looked from his lips to his eyes and back to his lips, each time inching closer.
"I never was able to deny you a thing" he said as her lips hovered over his. Then before she could reply his lips pressed to hers, she could feel herself melt into him. It a sweet kiss, an innocent one and after weeks of frustration Morgana didn't think it would be enough. Yet Merlin always seemed to kiss her just enough, when he pulled away, she whined slightly.
"You are so impatient" Merlin teased. Morgana rolled her eyes
"Oh hush… I missed you" she admitted. Merlin's eyes softened and he pulled her into a hug, resting his chin upon her head.
As she bathed in his warmth, she felt hope for the first time in weeks. Things were going to be difficult sure, but she knew that with Merlin by her side it would all be okay.