Road to Redemption
Chapter 11
You'll be in my Heart
He had picked her up on Sunday morning, their time together coming to an end. While some of their conversations had been difficult, they had none the less slipped back into that easy talk and laughter.
They made good time back to Aldershot, which he was a bit sad about as he didn't know when he would get the opportunity to see her again. As they pulled up at Jackie and Dangles' their door opened and Charles got out the car to get her holdall out the boot.
"Jacs asked if you had any food in Boss and would you like to join us for dinner if you haven't?" asked Dangles "She does a mean roast if you are up for it."
"Its very kind of you to offer Dangles" he smiled "but she wasn't expecting me" at that moment Jackie came to the door.
"It's alright Boss I always do too much" she smiled "Roast beef with all the trimmings do you?"
"Well I have to say" he started grinning broadly "It sounds an awful lot better than the ding meal I was going to get from M&S if they are still open."
"You're more than welcome" she grinned back.
"Let me drop the car at home, quick change and I'll be back" still grinning and thinking he could stop at M&S and get her some flowers and wine on the walk back for the invite. Grateful that it wasn't another Sunday afternoon he had to spend alone.
He remembered lovely dinners with Jackie and Dangles, neither him nor Molly really being accomplished cooks like Jackie. He got to spend more time with Molly and any excuse to spend time with her was more than he could hope for.
Charles was back with them all within the hour, Jackie seemed pleased with the flowers and wine. As he expected she laid on a delicious spread. The afternoon was good as they reminisced over early tours, people they had known, what had once bound them altogether and still loosely did. Laughter as they remembered that first tour where the ties were formed and sadness they had missed another anniversary for Smurf. Maybe next year they could all be together and go to Laugharne?
The afternoon swiftly moving into early evening and in some ways their easy going banter had made the last two years vanish. It hadn't gone unnoticed between both Molly and Charles the unspoken looks between both Jackie and Dangles so eventually Molly had to ask.
"What is it that you are not telling me?" and again Jackie looked at Dangles.
Dangles looked across to Charles "Seems Prof has a new girlfriend" Charles raised his eyebrows, he may have been the Captain on that last tour but why did that concern him. Jackie and Dangles looking at each other again
"It's Georgie" said Jackie never one for holding back and telling it like it was "and she is transferring down here to be with him."
"What?" said Molly shocked
"Yeah!" replied Jackie with a sneer "She will be working with me in 4 Armoured Medical Corp."
"There is more" added Dangles "Fingers is back from his honeymoon, him and Marie have moved into army housing down here."
"Please tell me it's not near here?" wailed Molly.
"Sorry Molly" said Jackie patting her hand "They are moving into the house at the end of the road at the weekend."
"Thank god I'm going to be back in Cheltenham before they all get here" she stated harshly "Well you can forget any hope that I will transfer back" she finished off forgetting that Charles was still sat there his hands clasped in his lap and looking down at them.
Dangles had always been aware that there were issues between Molly, Jackie and Georgie but had never known why, he was suddenly becoming aware that maybe his Captain was involved in this somewhere, judging by the way he was fidgeting and looking extremely uncomfortable.
Dangles had changed sections after Kenya along with most of the old 2 section. Leaving only Fingers and Brains from the old team with Georgie and Captain James. He'd have a chat with Brains when he saw him, he knew that Captain James had had problems which is why he had been out of action for so long but the things that were going through his mind at the moment didn't bear thinking about. He would have to have a word with Jackie as they really shouldn't step in the middle of this. Captain James was his CO and Molly was their friend.
OG
Molly arrived at Keogh with Jackie ready for her medical to see how her injuries had healed and whether she was fit for active service again. As she was sat there she saw Jackson who was getting his check-up.
"You know that Blue will have us yomping up the Brecons if we are fit don't you?" he laughed.
"Yeah mate! Worked that one out" she laughed back.
"The missus brought me down just in case I don't get cleared" he started "you want a lift back, we can drop you off in Cheltenham?"
"Thanks mate, but I thought I might go to Hereford try and track down Blue see if he can sort out some driving lessons for me."
"Well he is down here having a meeting with one of the bigwigs, why don't you text him?" he laughed "you probably should learn."
"That's what Charles said" she sniggered "reckoned I could drive the pickups and he could sit in the back" the pair of them laughing at the thought before being called in for their respective medicals, each wishing the other good luck.
Seemed Jackson needed a bit more physio on his shoulder but Molly was passed fit as the ribs had healed fully.
She did text Blue for a meeting and he said he would come across to Keogh when he had finished his meetings. This gave Molly a free couple of hours to have lunch with Jackie.
She got her lunch and joined Jackie at the table, with Jackie beaming at her.
"Come on then Jacs" laughed Molly "You obviously have more gossip for me."
"Yes, I do Molls" she giggled "and you're absolutely going to love this."
"Come on then spill" she replied, "oh and by the way in case you had forgotten I passed my medical."
"That's great news Molly" but she sighed "I suppose that means you will be off back to Cheltenham then?" and Molly nodded she did miss not seeing her friend that often since she moved away.
"Well, you know I mentioned that Georgie was transferring to 4 Armoured Medical" she said excitedly "Well I had to see Captain O'Brian today about it, she's only been court marshalled and demoted back to Corporal again" her eyes wide at the news she was imparting.
"Bloody hell" said Molly shaking her head "How did that happen?"
"Well Brigadier Hart made the recommendation that owing to her general lack of respect for the chain of command and her constant disregard for following orders, he felt it inappropriate that she should be training or mentoring medics. He deemed her not to be a suitable role model for future CMTs and that she is to be just be assigned administrative tasks until she can prove that she is not training a generation of insubordinate medics" laughing hysterically, "and the best part Molls is she is assigned to my section for retraining and I will be her sergeant."
"What you gonna do?"
"Well she will definitely be sent to Frimley Park no reason why she can't spend a day cleaning bed pans" Jackie cackled "I think I might enjoy this."
"Be careful Jacs you don't wanna end up on report or accused of bullying because you know she will pull the victim card if she can" but couldn't help but grin at her friend.
-OG-
Blue thought it a good idea that she learnt to drive and thought it about time actually. However, he did think that going to Yorkshire to the transport barracks and doing a 6 week course might be a bit long especially if they were likely to be deployed in the foreseeable.
He suggested one of the civilian intensive courses that you could do in 2 weeks and that the army could make a contribution to the cost. As Jackson was still non active, he could perhaps borrow one of the army pool cars and give her any extra driving experience she needed.
Jackson and his wife had already left as Molly wanted to see Blue "There is not much going on at the minute Molly, I'm planning that we go out on exercise in 2 weeks, so if you keep your fitness up you can stay in Aldershot rather than Hereford, perhaps do a CMT refresher?"
Molly frowned "No thanks Boss, need to be out of Aldershot by the weekend so may as well go home today and start looking for driving courses round Cheltenham."
"Why's that Dawes?" he enquired
She shrugged "Seems my past is coming back to haunt me."
"I see" and looking serious "I saw what was going on in the Mess back in Kabul and that Peanut and Spanner stopped you making a big mistake" she raised her eyebrows at him and tried to look innocent "Don't try and pretend to me Dawes, if you had clumped her I would have had no choice but to have you up on disciplinary. Don't fuck up the career you've worked so hard for on her, she isn't worth it" he said with authority and standing up "now do you want me to give you a lift back to Cheltenham today? If you do get your things together we leave in 30 minutes."
"Thanks Boss" she smiled "I won't let you down."
"I know you won't" he smiled "But more importantly don't let yourself down."
-OG-
The next two weeks flew by. Molly did find an intensive course to learn driving and passed the theory with ease, which surprised her as she had always hated the classroom environment.
Jackson visited with his wife in an army pool car to give her some extra lessons. He was very patient even though he had an overwhelming urge to use the handbrake on more than one occasion.
With Charles having Sam one of the weekends and Jackson being there next they still hadn't had an opportunity to meet again. Molly was very reticent of meeting up with his family or Sam, she wanted to feel sure that they would work this time and for it to just be them for the time being without the families trying to push them together. They had texted each other several times a day and phoned each other most evenings, they had even got in a few skype calls where he put her through her driving theory paces, asking about stopping distances and road signs. They were getting on so well and enjoying each other's company however they could get it. He was open and honest whenever she asked a question and she could see that he was trying to gain her trust. Taking it slow like she wanted.
There wasn't time to take her driving test before Blue had them on manoeuvres in the Brecons. As she was due to be away on exercise for a week Charles asked if she would like him to pop down with some food on the Friday evening for her and get the heating on, laughing when he said it knowing full well that she was going to complain bitterly about the cold.
Having told him that her driving test was on the Tuesday after she got back, Molly asked him if he would stay and let her practise in his car?
He snorted a laugh "what have you been learning to drive in Molly?" still sniggering over the phone.
"It's a lovely little Corsa, like me Nan had" she was smiling back although he couldn't see her he knew she was happy.
"So, you want me to let you practise in a 2 litre Audi?" belly laughing now "I'd never get you insured."
"I only asked" she responded trying to sound miffed.
"The insurance company charge me a fortune and I've been driving for years" he tried to placate her "I could probably buy a house with what they would ask if I tried to put you on the insurance."
They finished off the call saying that she would leave her spare key with a neighbour if he wanted to come down on the Friday. She should get there late afternoon.
OG
She could see the lights on in her flat and gave a small smile that he had come like he said he would. Nothing had cropped up so he couldn't make it.
As soon as she walked through the door, she kicked off her boots and dropped her Bergen in the hallway. She knew he'd been there a while as the flat felt lovely and warm. She walked through to the living room and found Charles with his bare feet under a cushion on her coffee table and his head back asleep. She thought she wouldn't disturb him but go upstairs for a nice hot soak in the bath. Blue had pushed them really hard on this exercise, her and Jackson struggling a little as their fitness had dropped due to injury. She filled the bath added in her bubble bath and sunk into the warm water right up to her neck, closing her eyes momentarily.
She felt a hand on her shoulder and her name being called before shaking herself awake to look up into Charles' beaming face. "I've been calling you through the door and you didn't answer so I thought I had better check you were alright"
"Cor this waters taters now, I must've dosed off" she yawned looking up into his darkened eyes as he bit his lip.
"I bought everything to make a Spaghetti Bolognaise" standing upright and moving backwards out the bathroom trying not to look.
"Spag Bol one of me favourites" smiling and looking at him out the corner of her eye.
"I'll make a start while you get dressed then" turning and hurriedly leaving the room. He needed to get a grip, in the old days he would have got in the bath with her and there would've been no dozing off. Both just pleased to see each other again when-ever they had been on tour or exercise.
She knew that was what he was thinking, she saw the way his eyes had darkened when he saw her. If she was honest there was more than a bit of her that wished he'd been brave enough to strip off and get in with her, even if the water was a bit cold now. She shook the thoughts from her mind as she wandered into her room to get dressed in her leggings and a t-shirt.
She could already smell dinner cooking as she walked into the kitchen "Do you need a hand?" she asked.
"No just sit and keep me company" he replied stirring the sauce into the mince "Do you want a glass of wine?" he asked picking up the bottle and topping up his own glass and getting a glass for her as she nodded in response. He started serving the dinner and took it to the table.
"How was the exercise?"
"Good but I think I need to get out running more now I'm fit, he really had us running this time."
"He seems a good Captain?"
"He is, he helped me lots when he took over, you know after Bones" she sighed "We could go running tomorrow in the park if you want?" she giggled "I can let you win if you like" she fluttered her eyes at him.
"Oh! Is that a challenge Dawes?" he huffed a laugh "I think you might find that I have kept my fitness up and my legs are a lot longer than yours."
"We'll see old man" she laughed getting up from the table to clear their empty plates.
"Anyway, about your test on Tuesday, would you like me to stay til then? if you pass we could go out and celebrate."
"Yeah I would like that" she had her back to him and was starting the washing up "then maybe you could help me find a car if I pass?" he couldn't take the smile off his face as he looked at her back while she was washing up. She was definitely letting him back into her life, including him in some of her decisions, even if it was just buying a car. It seemed like his opinion mattered to her again.
"I know its a way off yet Moll but have you thought about Christmas and where you will spend it" she kept her back to him continuing with the clearing up. She didn't want to go to Bath with him, if that is what he was going to ask.
"Was going to spend Christmas Day and Boxing day with Mum, Dad and the rest, then Jacs has invited me to a New Year bash at some club in Aldershot, but I need to talk with her about that first before I confirm"
"I just wondered if you fancied coming to Bath, see the old folk and Sam?" he asked, her back still facing him so he couldn't see what she was thinking. She had finished the washing up and was drying her hands as she turned shaking her head.
"No, I don't think I want to see them yet."
"But why, you know they love you and Mum would be so pleased to see you, and Sam well he misses you too."
She knew this was coming and wasn't sure if she would be able to explain her feelings about seeing them all again. She picked up her glass and wandered into the living room and sat on the sofa, Charles following her with his glass and the bottle, sitting next to her waiting for her to answer the question.
She took a sip from her wine "I like it when we are on our own, if we involve our families there will be questions, all wanting to know if and when we are getting back together. All with an opinion on what we should do."
"I think you know that I want you back Molly" he said sadly.
"But we are not the same people we were Charles, we've changed and we need to get to know each other again" she sighed looking at the sadness on his face "What if one of us realises the other is not what they want, how upset will Sam be if I vanish again?"
He nodded in agreement but knew that it wouldn't be him that wouldn't want her, he knew what he had lost and she would always be the love of his life.
"Families are always going to have an opinion and push that opinion harder because they love you, look at me Nan?"
"What?"
"I know she collared you when we were in London" she grinned "Your parents will do the same and want to know what my intentions are."
"I suppose you're right" he grinned with his mother already asking him if they were getting back together and what he was doing about it to make sure they did.
"Let's leave family out of it for now, just enjoy it for what it is, see where this takes us?"
"So, you are not saying no, just not yet?" as she nodded.
OG
The following morning it was pouring with rain so Charles thought the run idea should be put on hold but suggested instead they go to that SPA hotel to use the gym and swimming pool for a workout and see who really was getting old.
After an hour in the gym it was declared to agree a draw, although Charles did think that he won. They went swimming after but as they were the only ones in the pool spent more time messing around splashing each other and both of them giving admiring looks. Molly couldn't help but notice Charles was still pretty fit and she wouldn't have minded getting closer. Dressed in her bikini Charles couldn't help but notice just how much more toned she was now she was in Special Forces. He used any and every excuse he could to hold her and pull her into the deep end as he struggled to keep his hands off her. They both felt that familiar draw to each other, the need to be touching. They had a quick lunch in the restaurant after showering and changing then made their way back to Molly's flat holding hands as they walked. Each of them giving flirtatious looks to the other.
They'd barely got through her front door before their gym bags were dumped on the floor and Charles turned to kiss her. Her arms snaked up his chest before coming to the back of his head to twist her fingers into the curls at the back of his neck, knowing how much he liked it.
She could hear that low growl he did as he deepened the kiss and pulled her as close to him as he could. His hands under her t-shirt and pulling it off in one swift move before throwing it on the floor. He lifted her up and carried her up the stairs to her room, her legs straddling his waist gripping him tightly, nuzzling his neck with little nips and kisses, her hands in his hair.
There was no finesse to their passion, as they both felt the need to be skin to skin and helped each other undress. Both of them remembering just what their love making was like and how they had missed it, each remembering just where to touch, where to kiss to give them pleasure. It was fast and frantic both with a need that left them breathless and sated as they lay in her bed afterwards, their bodies still entwined waiting for their heartrates to drop.
"Well that was…" she giggled her head on his shoulder and drawing patterns across his torso with her fingers.
"Sorry Moll" he felt like an uncontrolled teenager and his cheeks flushed "It's just been a while."
"I ain't complaining" kissing his cheek and still stroking his chest "It's been a while for me too" He turned on his side so they were facing each other. Her hand now a finger light touch and tracing lines up and down his spine making him shiver.
"Tell me more about the treatment you had" she whispered, "Was it hard" and he sighed before closing his eyes.
"The counselling with Ted wasn't too bad once I got used to talking with him" grimacing "but the EDMR was a whole different ballbag."
"What did they do to you?" her eyes showing the pain he felt
"A bit like what you are doing now" he gave a small grin as he shivered again at her fingers lightly running up and down his spine.
"What?"
"It's a distraction technic, mostly they make you follow their hand or a light with your eyes, sometimes they tap you on the hand, while making you relive an event, what you saw, what you felt, what you smelt' he paused for a few seconds, "it has to be one of the hardest things I have ever done" brushing her hair away from her face while looking into her eyes that looked particularly sad at his explanation.
"What did you tell them about?" she asked quietly.
"The first time was about Nepal. That feeling as the ground shook but there was nothing you could do, the invisible enemy. Watching as the building in front of you collapsed. The smell, that unbelievable smell as bodies were being burnt" speaking quietly "part of the theory, they reckoned, is that with PTSD you've misfiled a memory, not processed it correctly which is why it keeps coming back as flashbacks or nightmares. EDMR makes you file it in the right part of the brain" he gave a small laugh "I have explained this very badly but for me it worked, well that and the counselling together. No more nightmares and no more guilt about what I couldn't control" The sadness in his eyes and face was palpable and she had the overwhelming urge to kiss it better.
"Do you still think it was your fault that Elvis died?"
"No Molly" he sighed "I didn't order him up on the roof, he went there to inspect it, could easily have been me or Spanner or any of the others."
"What about Azizi?" she asked stroking his cheek with her thumb.
"That was hard, that betrayal. I served with him before, well you know I did, and never thought he would turn like that, thought I could trust him. And in a strange way I wasn't completely wrong about him because he saved me from being killed" her eyes never left his "In the end I betrayed you, us and for that I will always have regrets and guilt. What I said, did and how I made you feel."
"Tough as old boots," she said giving a small smile "remember hard as nails me."
"Nope don't think so" he responded giving her a kiss and running his hands down her back and pulling her closer to him.
This time it wasn't a race to the finish line, their kissing slow and their touch hesitant, their eyes never leaving each other as he pushed her back into the pillows. With every kiss he wanted her to know how much he still loved her, as his hand slid down over her breast and down her body he wanted her to remember. Molly ached it had been so long since he had touched her like this, the press of his chest against hers, the heat that moved through her. She felt his hardness pressing against her.
"Charlie" she sighed into his ear as she wrapped all of herself around him and pulled him as close as she could.
OG
They had had an amazing couple of days together, they walked, ran in the park went out for dinner. Talked like they hadn't done in years, laughing till they cried and remembering what they had once had and how sad they felt that they had lost it somewhere, somehow, slowly the grief of losing Elvis had allowed them to fracture.
Charles waited for her while she went for her driving test. Pacing her flat and hoping it would be good news and she passed. He was looking out the window when he saw her in the passenger seat, her driving instructor driving them back. As she got out the car he could see the big grin on her face and he went to open the front door for her. She ran up the front steps and threw herself at him.
"I've done it Charlie, I've only gone and bloody passed" she laughed full of excitement as he caught her in his arms.
"So, dinner tonight in that little French place round the corner" he asked his arms pulling her as close to him as possible and grinning every bit as much as her.
OG
The following morning Charles left early for Aldershot. He had a number of meetings in barracks today after his 3 glorious days off. He didn't know when he would be able to get down again but hoped it wouldn't be too long, phone calls and skype would never make up for the real thing, especially now.
Molly had made a number of phone calls letting all her friends and family know that she now had a full driving license. Spanner had volunteered to come down with his wife Jenny to help her look for a car. She had 3 that she liked the look of and Charles thought might be suitable before he left, all from the same garage so Spanner could give them the once over for her.
Blue also advised that he had booked her on a two week refresher for her CMT, may as well keep it up to date.
"Don't worry" he told her "I booked it via Jackie so your little problem won't be there when you are" and she couldn't help but grin "Apparently she is on a fitness refresher those weeks down in Salisbury" he laughed.
"Thanks Boss"
"Just this one time Dawes" he said gruffly "We all have to work with someone we don't like from time to time, we just have to be professional about it. OK?"
"Yes Boss, thanks" she replied "It was just a bit of a shock and that seeing her in Kabul. But it's all under control now Boss."
"Good because I want you to go for your Sergeant stripes."
"Won't that piss off Peanut and Spanner Boss?" and Blue burst out laughing
"They are Sergeant's too Dawes, or rather they were before they joined Special Forces and they will be Sergeants again when they leave to go back to their normal regiments. I thought you knew that is why you are all troopers" continuing "While we are on a squadron training rotation, now is the ideal time for you to do this and when the time comes that you go back to Medical Corp you will have your stripes."
OG
Spanner and Jenny came to visit her as planned, neither having visited her flat yet Molly gave them the guided tour.
"It really is lovely Molly" enthused Jenny "It's so you."
"Yeah, Peanut warned me about the ceilings upstairs" laughed Spanner Molly rolling her eyes at him.
"Are you and Spanner going to go and have a look at these cars then?" remarked Jenny changing the subject.
"Aren't you coming with us Jen?"
"If you don't mind I've never been to Cheltenham before, wouldn't mind having a look around and meet you back here later?"
Spanner reckoned the dark blue three year old VW Golf was the best, looked clean and the engine didn't look too bad, not covered in oil or anything. As she had to sort out the insurance on it the garage agreed that they would deliver it to the underground car park at her flat while she sorted it out to get on the road. She would be in a position to drive herself to Aldershot for her course rather than rely on someone coming to pick her up or public transport. She couldn't wait.
She took them for dinner at what had become her and Charles favourite restaurant, the French Bistro.
"So, you going for your Sergeants then?" asked Spanner when they were drinking their coffees.
"Are there no secrets in Special Forces?" she laughed back.
"No Molls" laughed Jenny "You should know by now that blokes are probably even worse for gossip than women."
"Oi" responded Spanner kissing his wife on the cheek "we just talk that's all" causing both women to laugh "So are you going to?"
"I dunno Spanner, what do you think" as he shrugged "I ain't got the tenure only done 7 years."
"So, what" he sighed and wished she had the faith that he, Bones and Blue had in her. When she was on a mission and her training kicked in she knew what she was doing and he had every faith in her, trusted her implicitly but in her personal life, ask her about a promotion and she queried if she deserved it "You have more than proved you can follow orders and give them. You've worked bloody hard to get to where you are so have a bit of confidence and go for it."
"You should Molls" interjected Jenny "Whatever you decide to do in the future it will stand you in good stead" and Molly nodded smiling at her friends' belief that she could do this.
"Anyway, changing the subject" started Jen "I know it's still a little way off yet but are you going to this New Year bash in Aldershot?" Spanner frowning at her as she finished off the question.
"I was going to talk to Jackie about it when I am up there next week" replied Molly.
"Well Blue has organised a table and it's going to be a bit thin on the ground if you don't come" laughed Jenny "Come on Molly you gotta come the proceeds are for Help the Heros."
"I would hardly say thin on the ground."
"Well, yeah but you and Charles were always good for a laugh at these events."
"So, who is coming then?" rolling her eyes but smiling at her friend
"All of us Molls" she giggled "Even Jackson and his wife and they never usually come out with the rest of us."
"Just because he likes to be at home with his wife, Jen don't read anything into that" sighed Spanner "He's not been married that long yet" and earned himself an elbow in the ribs.
OG
Charles had spent the weekend in Bath seeing Sam. Molly was right, he did like it when it was just them. His mother had spent the whole weekend asking him how Molly was, what she was doing, will she transfer back to Aldershot. It was him and his PTSD that made her choose a different path and there was no way he was asking her to give that up for him. He could tell she enjoyed what she did, who she worked with and while it made his heart stop watching what she did he couldn't ask her to follow him, she had done that before. Transferred into 4 Medical Corp so she could be based in Aldershot with him, and he had let her down.
They had spoken on the phone a couple of times and she was going to be staying with him at his flat for the next two weeks while she did her CMT refresher. He was ecstatic that she had agreed rather than stay with Jackie and Dangles. She had refused to allow him to drive to Cheltenham so he could guide her on her first drive on the Motorway in her new car. So, he made sure he had all her favourites from the supermarket in his kitchen cupboards, even got in her favourite bubble bath hoping that they would both be sharing that. He tidied, cleaned and aired the flat for her arrival and made space in the wardrobes and drawers for her clothes.
-OG-