''Hey San''
''Britt omg you are awake'' and without knowing tears started to streams down her face she has been waiting for this moment for 4 weeks. ''I…..I….. nee…..need to know'' ''Brittany honey you shouldn't talk to much yet'' Susan offered Brittany some water with a straw which Brittany gladly took but she still needed to know. ''Did…..did you ca….care for iz?'' ''Britt you shouldn't talk to much we can talk later'' Santana pushed a few strands of hair behind her ear and gave a kiss on the forehead.
She didn't want Brittany to overdue anything she needed rest but Brittany had other ideas. ''Britt honey we are going to go eat something downstairs and you know what?'' And once she saw that she had Brittany's full attention she said ''Santana took amazing care of Isabella we don't know what we would have done without her'' and with that they left with smiles and Santana with a blush. Brittany looked over and whispered a thank you and a yawn. ''It's okay Britt. Go to sleep I will be here when you wake up I promise'' Brittany nodded and fell back into sleep and Santana sat down in the chair beside the bed.
''You know she wanted to sleep al lot earlier but stayed awake until you came'' the words startled Santana but when she registered them they made her happy. ''Thomas and I are going to go home for a while if that is okay we will be back later though.'' ''Yeah of course and if it is alright with you I am going to stay here'' ''Of course that's okay dear'' and with that the two adults left and Santana looking back at the two blondes cuddled into each other.
Apparently Santana also fell asleep because she was woken up by a sound she knew all to good from the past weeks. ''Mommy?'' Santana looked up and saw the younger girl poking her mom. Santana knew Brittany needed rest so she carefully made her presence now and cleared her throat. It worked because the little girl looked her way and her little eyes light up. ''Sannyy'' ''Hey there sweetheart had a good nap with your mommy?'' The girl happily nodded being a lot more happy now that her mommy is awake. ''Yeah well let's let your mommy sleep and will change you hmm?'' She reached out and without struggling against her the little girl was placed on her hip. She walked out and changed the girl and brought her back to her mommy. She laid her down on her spot again and quietly put on the tv so would kind of lay still which she gladly did.
A few weeks later
It's been a few weeks since Brittany got out of the hospital and those weeks have been rough for everyone. Brittany wasn't Brittany anymore. The girl barely got out of her room or did anything really. She ate and slept and did the necessary thing to Isabella like feeding her and cleaning her but other then that she just sat by her window looking out into the world not saying a word.
Santana stops by every day and tried talking to Brittany but most of the time she ended up with nothing and went to Isabella who was so used to her being around 24/7 that she clung to her. Part of that was also because Santana was giving her the attention her mom wasn't. Bath time was their time but even sometimes those times weren't there anymore. And no more singing.
It broke everyone to see her like this. Quinn tried talking on the phone with her but just like Santana didn't get much out of her. Rachel came by once but didn't get anything out of her and her parents they were just lost. They didn't know what to do anymore.
Brittany was just lost. For the second time they used her and her body like she was some sort of toy. All for their fun and that all while her daughter was watching and she wasn't doing anything. She should've fought not just cry it made her feel stupid. She didn't deserve it. Not Santana nor her daughter she didn't stick up for them what is the use then…
''You know Britt honey I think you need to get out of your room'' and Susan quickly got the answer she knew a head shake. She was going in for another approach it was a hard one but maybe that is kinda what Brittany needed now. ''yeah I think you should and I think you should go to Santana's house. I will invite the adults over and you can choose if you want to take Izzy with you but just so you spend some time together'' another head shake. ''Honey, listen to me I know you are struggling but that girl as been taken care of your daughter 24/7 for 4 weeks and she sometimes even does now she should at least get something back.'' Brittany knew she felt very guilty but didn't show emotions just like she has the last weeks so she just nodded she will go. ''Okay good I will bring you with the car and take the adults back. Are you going to take Izzy?'' Another nod ''Okay be ready in 10'' another nod.
Maribel and Manuel knew Susan was coming but Santana did not. The Latina also has been down the girl she loves doesn't even talk normally to her anymore it's like she is back and awake but still gone.
''Mija our ride is here were going bye'' ''Wait going? Going where?'' Santana followed her parents to the front door. She stood there and saw Susan opening the back door and lifting out a sleepy girl. And too her surprise Brittany also stepped out of the car. Susan sat the little girl down and Brittany held out her hand to hold hers but once Isabella spotted Santana she ran towards her going from sleepy to excited. She ran towards Santana which kinda looked funny because her cast was still on and it could be kinda heavy so she sometimes would lean that way. She jumped up and Santana quickly hoisted the little girl up her hip giving her a kiss on her forehead. ''Well hello there sweetie what a surprise visit'' she tickled the little girl belly making her squirm. ''Hello Santana, I hope you don't mind me just surprise dropping these two off. We were going to have an adult day'' she winked at Santana which the Latina understood it kind off meant help with her daughter. ''Yeah of course no problem. Have fun. Come in Britt'' ''Thanks dear see you later Britt''
Together they sat on the couch and no one said anything and it was awkward as hell. ''You wanna drink something Britt?'' She got a shake of the head so she moved on to the girl on her lap. ''You wanna drink something sweetheart.?'' She pushed a few strands of hair back and looked when she reached for Brittany ''mommy milky'' ''no iz'' an answer Isabella was used to hear by now. The first weeks Brittany still could breastfeed but the past few days she couldn't look at her body. Santana looked at how the little one slumped back against her looking sad ''Come on sweetie I may not have your mommy's milk but I do have some milk and a bottle for you'' she sat the girl down on the couch and walked into the kitchen and preparing a bottle. Isabella got so close to her that she even had some stuff at home for the girl. Isabella watched Santana walking out and looked back at her mom. She shuffled closer in hope for attention but Brittany just kept staring at the wall not paying attention. Isabella became sad and decided to leave so she tried climbing off the couch only to fall on the ground on her butt. She looked up in hope that maybe her mommy would help but still nothing. So she stood up by herself and wobbled the way Santana went. She looked around and saw the Latina standing there with her eyes on the microwave. She quickly wobbled towards her and threw herself at her legs clinging onto them.
Santana was preparing the bottle and kept an eye on it until she felt two little arms around her legs holding on tightly. Looking down she saw that Isabella was looking at her with her big blue eyes. ''Well hello there cutie. You mommy not giving you an answer'' without the head nod of the girl she already knew it. The microwave beeped and Santana got the bottle out testing if it was too hot. When she found the temperature good she hoisted the girl back up her hip and gave her the bottle. ''There you go sweetie'' she gave a kiss on the head and the little girl leaned her head on her shoulder and drank her milk. While she kept a hold on the girl with one arm the other grabbed two cups and filled them with milk too. She walked into the living room and put her own glass down then walked back in the kitchen and got the other she put in front of Brittany. ''I know you said you didn't want anything but it's good for you so'' she still didn't get an answer and just sat Isabella on her lap and leaned her head against the little one and stroked her hair. She felt the bottle drop on her arm and looked down to see Isabella was asleep. She held on tightly and moved the girl across the room and laid her down and covered her with a blanket.
''How are you feeling Britt?'' She knew it was a stupid question but it was the only one she could think off right now. ''Fine'' she knew this answer it was the one she always got when she asked. ''No B. I am asking you and I want an honest answer. You aren't fine. You don't talk, you don't look. You don't do fucking anything anymore how can you be fine'' Santana didn't want to get frustrated but she did nobody could be fine not after that.
Tears started to come out but what she didn't expect was for Brittany to turn her head and actually looking her in eye. '' I don't know what to say Santana what does everyone wanna hear. That I feel gross. That I feel stupid. I didn't do anything and laid there and my daughter watched. She looked at her mother who didn't do anything. Do people think I am a toy that my body is a toy?! Is that what everybody wants to hear?!'' By now Brittany was crying full out she didn't show any emotions the past weeks and now they were coming out all at once. ''B, look at me'' she tilted her head with her finger and looked her in the eye ''You are not stupid and for you to feel this is is normal. Isabella looks up at you she always will but you can't go around saying you are fine. B, these things are normal and we all wanna help'' and that was the last push for Brittany and she broke down. Santana quickly caught her and held the trembling girl in her arms. ''I..I did….did not mean it Sa…..San I'm just so lossttttt'' ''Shhh it's okay Britt I'm here I am not going anywhere'' and after a few moments the tall blonde fell asleep with Santana on tightly.
About half hour the first blonde started to wake up which was Isabella she looked around and saw her mommy sleeping on the couch. She got off and stood in front of her. ''Mommy?'' She went to poke at her but was stopped by a tan hand wrapping around her little finger. She got a kiss on the head and heard above her ''Mommy is asleep sweetheart and by the smell you need changing so come on'' ''Mommy do?'' ''No honey your mommy needs rest but we can stay here'' deciding that that was probably the best option she got the diaper bag and set to work and laid the girl down. She laid her down just so that Isabella could watch her mom still and that Santana had room enough. Once she finished she could hear from the couch ''I could have done it'' ''it's no problem Britt'' she then kneeled down and whispered in Isabella's ear ''Go cuddle with mommy'' Isabella wasn't sure though she got many no's lately but with an encouraging nod from Santana she walked over to her mom. Santana knew they might need a moment so she went to the kitchen to get some hot chocolate and cold one for Isabella.
Brittany saw Santana whispering something in Isabella's ear and she felt very badly when her daughter looked unsure her way. Isabella took little steps closer to her not wanting to feel rejected again but Brittany quickly made a decision she held out her arms where her daughter quickly fell into and scooped her up onto her lap. She was horrible the last weeks but never felt it this great to have Isabella in her arms again. ''I am so sorry baby I really really am I am going to the best mommy for you from now on'' ''Mommy milky?'' And Brittany froze
After the hot chocolate was done she went back to the living room she smiled when she saw Isabella in her mommy's lap but became worried when Brittany almost looked frozen. ''B, is everything okay'' ''San she wants to nurse I.…I am not sure if I can'' ''It's okay it is your decision if you need time that's okay I have some chocolate milk for her and if you wanna give it a try that is okay too'' '' I wanna try'' ''Okay'' Santana stood up.
When Brittany breastfeeds she always leaves but this time she was stopped ''San? Where are you going?'' ''I'm just giving you some privacy like always B but no worries I will be in the other room'' ''San can you uhm maybe like stay?'' ''Of course B I'm here'' Isabella didn't get it she just wanted milk but Santana sat back down next to Brittany and smiled encouraging.
This was it. She slowly lifted up her shirt to reveal her sports bra which she also lifted up a bit. Her breast became free and her nipple was exposed she didn't look and looked over at Santana who was looking proud of her. She still couldn't look but knew how to hold Isabella so as soon as Isabella was good she latched on immediately. She started to cry it felt good to do this for her daughter but she felt so gross too. She started crying and then something happened Isabella let go. Isabella's good hand reached out and took Santana's pinky something she had began to do when Santana would bottle feed her. With Santana's pinky in hers she turned around a began nursing again feeling content.
Santana first looked at the little girl and then back up Brittany had tears streaming down but made no intention of stopping Isabella. Santana took her other free hand and went around Brittany she pushed her head a bit and gave Brittany the signal to lay her head on her shoulder which she did. She stroked trough the long blonde hair and gave a kiss on her head. ''I am so proud of you. You are doing amazing.''
After a few minutes Isabella was done and sat up looking at the Latina. Brittany fixed her clothes and looked at what her daughter was looking at. The Latina was sleeping peacefully. Isabella looked at her mom and then went onto Santana's lap and cuddled closer in her chest and falling asleep herself but not before turning her head towards her mommy and saying. ''I luv you mommy'' and then sucked her thumb in her mouth and falling asleep. Santana arms on reflect from the past weeks snuck around the little girl holding onto her tightly. Brittany's heart melted at the sight and the words her daughter just said. She kissed her daughter on her head and said I love you too baby and then looked over at the Latina and pushed a few strands of hair back an action Santana woke up from but Brittany didn't know that.
Brittany stood up and got a big blanket and spread it on the three of them. She gave Santana a kiss on her forehead and said: ''I don't know what I did to deserve you. I have a kid for sakes and what do you do instead of running you take care of my number one priority. You took care of her when I couldn't and I am so grateful for that and one day when I am better I will show you how much. Things have been so weird, painful, and sad but in this all I know one thing for sure and that is that I love you Santana Lopez and one day I will show you how much.'' With her little speech Brittany put her arms around both the girl and fell asleep. Santana couldn't not yet she heard it all and she knew how to make Brittany her girlfriend and she had the perfect idea. But not yet they first needed to make steps to making her okay again that is the first step. And you guessed it Santana will be there every step of the damn way.
Another chapter yay! I hope you guys have a great day and that you are enjoying this story!
I have a great idea I want to be doing in this story and you can possibly read this in the next chapter so stay tuned!