J

We were kissing. We were ready to take things to the next level once Kris and his newest victim had left the winery. Instead, I leaned into Lisa who already had an arm around me and began rubbing my back. In a matter of seconds, I twisted and buried my head in her neck. When her other arm moved to encircle me completely, I murmured, "Thank you."

"What are you thanking me for?" She scoffed. "Any decent man would've stood up for you. Not that you need it, mind you." Lisa quietly sighed.

I pulled back and looked at her face. "You're disappointed?"

She shook her head. "No, I'm proud of you. I stand in awe of you. I now have a small sense of what you went through. And it makes me sad."

I stiffened. "I don't want pity."

Lisa frowned. "I'm not explaining this properly. Don't think for one minute that I pity you. No one who knows you could ever feel sorry for you, Jennie."

"Good." I exhaled. "The woman you see before you is nothing like the girl he was married to."

"That's usually how it works. You know, flowers that bloom in adversity are the rarest and most beautiful of all." She winked.

I smirked. "Are you quoting Mulan to me?"

With a chuckle, Lisa nodded. "Doesn't make it less true. Look at you." She gestured to encompass all of me. "You're strong and beautiful. None of this happens by accident. And I sense you feel the need to explain, the desire to talk about it. If you do, cool. If not, then we move on." Her shoulders heaved. "Before your ex showed up, I was about to divulge my deepest, darkest secrets too."

I tilted my head. "I know, but you don't have to if you're not ready."

"Now seems like the perfect time. Come with me." She tugged on my hand. I grasped hers more tightly than I normally held onto another human being. Lisa brought me to the porch swing she'd used earlier in the day while shooting Mino and Jisoo. "Sit with me?" she asked tentatively, as if I could deny her anything after what we'd just been through.

I laughed. "Of course." As soon as she sat, I settled in at her side. For a couple of minutes, we simply sat there relaxing, enjoying the view of the vineyards and the gentle breeze. I nuzzled into her neck. She smelled so good. She brought me more comfort than I deserved, especially since I felt like I was about to hurt her. "I've had to be independent," I began as a warning. "I'm not sure I could ever be dependent on anyone again."

"Why are you telling me this?" Lisa asked quietly.

"I'm attracted to you, Lisa. And I'm reasonably confident you feel the same way about me." I blew out a breath.

She nodded. "Yes, but there's more to it than all that. It started out that way, but now, if you'll give it a chance, I could see serious feelings developing. How could they not?"

"Because you're a damn kid and I'm far from it," I argued. "That's why. Because I'm established and have roots, while you're more of a free spirit. Because I can never be what you want for anything long-term." I shrugged then stared at her face, watching for a reaction.

Her brow furrowed. "I'm not sure how you can say that, since you have no idea what I want. Sometimes I'm not sure what I want."

"That's part of my point." I sat up and turned to face her. "I guess I'm saying, I'm completely open to a fling, but I'm not able to offer you more." My heart raced. I wanted her to understand. I needed her to accept my terms before I gave in to my growing desire. There was nothing more attractive than a loving and supportive girl. Of course, that didn't mean I'd want to keep her. I could never risk my life again. I was unwilling to start over again when the relationship ended, as it inevitably would. I could see her mulling over my words.

Lisa licked her lips and rubbed her hands together while staring at the deck boards. "I understand. I don't know how much I can offer right now anyway. My family situation is a bit precarious. I could be called home anytime." She sighed and nodded. "Maybe we're just right for each other."

"And just for right now. You get that part, don't you?" I eyed her hopefully.

Her brow rose. "You have some deadline in mind, Jennie? Do I get a day, a week, a month, what?"

"I don't know." I gnawed on the corner of my lip. "I think we can play that by ear, but we can't go for anything permanent."

Lisa leaned closer, her lips inches from mine. I wanted to tilt my head slightly. I wanted to feel them on mine again. I suspected it would feel different this time, more comfortable, just as exciting. There was something about knowing where we stood. "I'll take all the time I can get, Jennie. I could use something beautiful and perfect in my life, something low maintenance and fun. Is that what you want to hear? Is that what you want me to be?"

I nodded. "I do. I really do."

"So, what do we do now?" She grinned playfully.

"Now, we do anything we want." I laughed.

"Anything?" Lisa rested a hand on my thigh.

"Absolutely anything." My cheeks hurt from trying not to smile. I felt like I could jump out of my skin. I hadn't had much to be excited about lately. I was at peace. I was calm, but I have few surprises.

"Then let's go to dinner. I'll go home and get ready. I'll pick you up. Anywhere you want." She ran her hand up and down my thigh.

"You sure you want to go out? I thought we could stay in." I tried to hide the disappointment. I wasn't sure I wanted to be in public with her. This wasn't going like I expected at all.

"Oh, we're going out. Just because you don't want this to be forever doesn't mean it can't be special." Lisa stood, held out a hand, and helped me to my feet. "I'll pick you up at seven." She kissed me tenderly on the lips. "See you then."