Days bleed each other once again, but now I have Alice to remind me when to hunt and when to, well, live. Jasper and her have agreed to get their own hotel room - and thank God, their intimacy was unbearable - but she insisted on reserving the room right across from my own. I'm surprised at how long they're staying. Time is fairly meaningless to me, but the sun's consistent rising and setting has given me an idea of how long their stay has been. In fact, Alice arrived over two weeks ago.

She tries to lie, saying that they love Miami or my company, but her thoughts prove that my presence is exhausting.

Jasper has had to deal with his own struggles, of course. The separate hotel rooms has given him a bit more peace of mind, but my intense sorrow has managed to corrupt his entire emotional climate.

At first, I tried to help him. I'd go on long walks almost every night - marathons is probably the more accurate term - if I was feeling especially helpless. But I think we both learned eventually that it was out of our control.

As much as I try to shut all of those horrid emotions out, like I did when I first left, every pang of guilt or wave of sorrow crushes me, and I'm left drowning in my own pain.

Alice is constantly frustrated with me now - whether I'm making it too hard for Jasper or I'm not hunting enough, she always finds something to lecture me about. But the real source of her anger isn't my appetite or my moods.

I forced her to leave her best friend. Her sister. And though she didn't take it out on me at first, when the wounds were fresh, nothing is holding her back now. She's never outright about it - I suspect she's been trying to keep it from Jasper - but she can't hide anything in her own mind. I see her flashing through all of the visions of Bella and her every night, and every single image seems to hit me like a truck.

Maybe I deserve it. I deserve the agonizing guilt, the overwhelming longing that consumes me. All of this is my fault. I was the one that met her, that stayed in Forks, that saved her from the car wreck, that befriended her, that saved her from those- those bastards…

The memory of Bella surrounded by men in an empty Port Angeles street corner, afraid and alone, appears in my mind clear as day. I immediately start shaking with anger, forcing deep breaths out of me to remain calm.

It was all me. And now there's no point in apologizing, because this silly little human girl has broken me beyond repair.

"Hello? Hey, snap out of it. You broke the remote again."

I snap my neck up to see Alice standing over me. She's right - the plastic fragments of the remote poke at the skin of my hand. We've gone through six or seven of them over the past few weeks.

"Sorry." My voice is still raw, despite my ceaseless hunting.

"Whatcha thinkin 'bout?" She says it casually, like it's just an innocent question.

I scoff. "Nothing."

"Well anyways, Jasper and I are going to head out tomorrow. Finals are coming up, and I need to study."

I laugh, but it's short and fake.

Promise me you'll take care of yourself. And I don't mean hunt-once-a-month-and-continue-breathing care of yourself. Just...live.

"Easier said than done."

She glares at me.

I look up at her, into her eyes. "Ok. I will. Really."

Jasper comes into the room a moment later.

"Ok, Jasper and I are going to go...organize my closet." So that's what she's calling it.

Yeah, I can't wait to-

"Jasper!" I interrupt his thought just in time.

His eyes widen and I know that he'd be blushing if he could. "Sorry…"

"Ugh, just go. You two are disgusting." I swat them away and lay back on the couch. My eyes wander around the room, taking it all in.

The hotel room's bland decor has remained the same since I first came here. So much yet so little has changed since then. A collection of minimalist paintings hang on the walls, excluding the large wall of glass that encompasses the room in natural light. Or, at least, it would if I ever pulled back the curtains. The couch that I've spent so much time on is displayed in the center of the room, adorned with a matching armchair and a glass table. A large TV that I've mindlessly watched for hours is perched on the wall in front of the sofa set, and almost nothing else covers the plain room.

I peak through the thick curtains that block out the glaring Miami sun to reveal a city skyline spotted with palm trees. A thin line of light gets through the gap and reflects off of my skin, sending garish specks of light into the room. I quickly yank the curtain back into place.

I've always hated our superhuman "sparkle" more than anything, and now my hatred of it is only worse.

"You're- You're beautiful." Her big brown eyes stared at me, though they were filled with wonder rather than fear. She watched the reflections of light dance on her body and walked closer, reaching out to caress my skin.

I swallow hard, as if I could somehow gulp down all of those memories and make them disappear forever. My shimmering appearance is cruel, really - the sole purpose of it is probably to distract my prey, making my kill that much easier. Now, it served as a perpetual reminder of my damned eternity.

Alice and Jasper leave early in the morning, before the sun rises. Jasper gives me a hug and encouraging yet pitiful thoughts, and Alice gives me warning glares and memories of my previous promise. As much they irritated me with their presence - especially Alice - I can't help but feel even more lonely after they leave. The silence in my head is deafening now that I'm so used to the constant mumble of their thoughts. I don't miss my evening walks, though - avoiding the couple's private thoughts is quite a chore, and those walks felt more like a punishment than a habit.

I check my phone for the first time in weeks to look at the date: March 17th. As if on cue, the phone rings as I set it down. I answer it and hold it to my ear.

"Hello?"

"Hi, Edward." It's Rosalie. That's strange...she hasn't called at all, and I haven't spoken to her since a call with Esme a couple of weeks ago where she stepped in to lecture me.

"Oh, hello Rose. I haven't heard from you in a while."

"Yeah, I know, sorry. But I need to tell you something. Something...important." She forces the words out, and her voice sounds strange, almost on edge.

"Rosalie, what's wrong?" I try not to panic, but she goes silent on the other end and I can't help but feel anxious. "What is it?"

"It's Bella."

It's finally here! The moment we've all been waiting for. I am very excited to dive into the next chapter, though I don't make any promises on how long it will take me. I'm thrilled to get to write this, but I want to make sure to make it accurate and well written and I can't promise that the revision process will be fast. These types of chapters take longer to revise and edit because they're so important, so please understand that it will take me at least a couple of days to get the next chapter out. We'll start seeing Edward's inner dialogue during his Volturi conflict, and I'm also going to include Jasper's reaction to Alice leaving as well because of a review I received. I promise to work hard on the next update and get it out as soon as possible.